Who's Pulling Your Strings?: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life

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9780071402781: Who's Pulling Your Strings?: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life

A self-empowering plan for anyone who wants to stop being manipulated by others

In Who's Pulling Your Strings?, Dr. Harriet B. Braiker,New York Times bestselling author of The Disease to Please, explains how depression, low self-esteem, chronic anger, and feelings of helplessness are often the result of being caught in relationships with manipulative people--including family members, friends, coworkers, and associates. More importantly, she arms readers with the knowledge and tools they need to understand and identify manipulative personalities and to free themselves from the bondage of relationships with them.

Working from sound psychological theory and research, yet writing in a warm, accessible style, Braiker exposes the most common methods manipulative people use to control others--and makes clear that it takes at least two people to enable such a relationship to function. With the help of valuable self-assessment quizzes, action plans, and how-to exercises she empowers readers to:

  • Recognize the signs of a manipulative relationship
  • Spot manipulators and their typical modus operandi
  • Assess their own vulnerability to manipulation
  • Identify the 7 main "Head Games" manipulators play

...and much more, including informative case studies and highly effective Resistance Tactics to help those who identify themselves as victim-participants end the damaging cycle of control and manipulation--and clear the way for success and happiness.

Orlando Sentinel, “She devotes her book to explaining how manipulators operate and, more important, what their victims can do to end these destructive relationships.” --Harry Wessel

Chicago Tribune, “...offers practical suggestions for those who find themselves repeatedly yanked, right down to language they can use in a tight spot.” --Joanne Trestrail

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From the Back Cover:

Many people suffer from relationships that leave them feeling manipulated and out of control. Whether it's within the context of a personal relationship, a family member, a friend, or someone at the workplace, these "toxic" relationships can erode a person's self-confidence and self-esteem, and have a strong, negative effect on their ability to perform well at home and at work. But there are ways to escape these kinds of relationships--by giving the person being manipulated the skills to cope better with these manipulators, and eventually free themselves from the bonds of their manipulators.

Working from a proven blend of sound psychological theory, research and clinical expertise, Dr. Braiker exposes the most common methods manipulative people use to control others--and firmly reminds us that it takes at least two people to enable such a relationship to function. Once you understand how your own thoughts and behavior make you a soft-target for manipulators to ensnare in controlling, stressful, no-win relationships, she teaches you potent techniques that will thwart a manipulator's designs and allow you to escape his or her web of control. Using revealing self-assessment quizzes, action plans, and how-to exercises, Dr. Braiker empowers you to:

  • Recognize the signs of a manipulative relationship
  • Spot manipulators and their typical ways of operating
  • Assess your own vulnerability to manipulation
  • Identify the 7 main "Head Games" manipulators play
  • Utilize effective resistance tactics against manipulator's efforts
  • Transform yourself from a "soft" to a "hardened" target
  • Extricate yourself from manipulative relationships that do not change
  • Protect yourself from falling prey to manipulators' control in the future
  • Stop others from pulling your strings once and for all

Also included are enlightening case studies, along with clinical techniques adapted into proven self-help exercises, which will help victim-participants end the damaging cycle of manipulative control, and clear the way for healthier and happier relationships. At last, you can protect yourself from emotionally draining manipulative personalities--and break free from the confusing, frustrating, and entrapping bonds they create.

Break away from manipulators--and regain control!

Millions of people, men as well as women, can become involved in relationships with manipulators--people who control through emotional manipulation, insults, and mind games. This manipulator could be anyone who seems trustworthy, but eventually makes life miserable for the victim involved. But whether it's a relative, a spouse or romantic partner, a sibling, a boss, co-worker, or subordinate, a friend, a teacher, or even a trusted advisor, Dr. Harriet B. Braiker, bestselling author of The Disease to Please, shows you how to break this toxic cycle.

Who's Pulling Your Strings will help you both end a current destructive relationship, understand how this relationship occurred, and will also prevent you from ever getting involved in a manipulative relationship again.  Dr. Braiker will help you devise your own action plans through revealing quizzes, checklists and self-evaluations, such as:

  • Are You an Easy Mark?
  • What Are Your Hooks?
  • Seven Key Resistance Tactics
  • And much more!

With the Harriet Braiker's insight, compassionate advice, and self-affirming strategies, you can create the strength to end any manipulative relationship and gain control of your life--starting right now.

About the Author:

Harriet B. Braiker, Ph.D. has been a practicing clinical psychologist for more than 20 years and is the author of three popular self-help/psychology books, including the New York Timesbestseller, The Disease to Please. She has been a featured guest on "Today," "Larry King Live," "Live with Regis and Kathy Lee," and "Nightly News with Tom Brokaw."

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