Articoli correlati a Dear Rhonda: Life Lessons from a Father to His Daughter
In a series of letters to his young daughter, a police officer shares inspirational fatherly advice on topics ranging from dealing with depression, to maintaining a loving marriage, to understanding race relations. 25,000 first printing.
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L'autore:
Demitri Kornegay is a lieutenant with the Montgomery County Police Department in Montgomery County, Maryland. A gifted motivational speaker, he is well known in the Washington, D.C., area for the frank messages he has delivered to high schoolers. He has one daughter, nineteen-year-old Rhonda Michelle Kornegay. You can reach him via e-mail at nerokorn@aol.com.
Estratto. © Riproduzione autorizzata. Diritti riservati.:
18 Things to Remember
1. You ARE special. 2. God has an important job for you and everything you go through prepares you for it. 3. Everything will be all right in the morning; maybe not tomorrow morning, but one morning is going to come and everything will be all right. 4. Death is a fact of life. 5. Your work is your signature, what you leave to the world. Always do your best. 6. Everyone has an off day. This, too, shall pass. 7. Your reputation may precede you; make that a good thing. 8. You make your own luck by the amount of effort you bring to the table. 9. Everybody has an agenda. 10. Bad people do exist; be careful. 11. Romance is like a traffic accident: the slower you go, the less damage you do. 12. All you have to do is breathe and some people won't like you, will be jealous of you, and will talk about you. Ignore them. 13. If your intentions are pure, unselfish, and good, God will bring them to life. 14. If your actions are evil, self-centered, and mean, God will bring you to task. 15. You ARE the star of this epic production called your life. Everyone chooses their own director. Some are directed by greed, lust, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, status, loneliness, or vengeance. I recommend choosing God as your director. 16. Love can make fools or geniuses of us all. 17. Don't be impatient; be efficient with your time. 18. Every new morning you see is God's way of saying, "Get up and go try it again."
Adjusting to New Things
Dear Rhonda,
Enclosed is a newspaper article concerning ninth graders in the D.C. metropolitan area and how difficult it has been for them to adjust to their first year of high school. Problems ranged from being overwhelmed by the size of the school to being afraid to ask what might be considered a "stupid" question. A few of the students said they had problems making new friends and didn't know how to use their planners or study for all the different classes.
After reading the article, it occurred to me that these problems don't sound so different from the complaints college freshmen make when they are away from home for the first time.
The main difference would be that in high school, if students don't do well, they have to repeat ninth grade, but in college, if you don't do well, first you are put on academic probation and then you flunk out, never to return. There are scores of people who use the excuse, "Well, college just wasn't for me," when they know in their hearts they just didn't try hard enough.
They got to school and, drunk with their newfound freedom, realized they could stay up and stay out as long as they pleased. They could go to class when and if they felt like it, and their teachers wouldn't give them the blues about it. They ate when they wanted, they slept when they wanted, and before they knew it, they failed?which is what they didn't want.
Before you fix your mouth to give me that "Well, I just can't get it" business, let's remember you know the latest fashions, you've memorized all the words to the latest songs, and you've managed to stay on the honor roll.
What I'm saying is, you can get it if you stick with it. It's all about the level of importance you give things. You must understand?you have to learn all you can while you can. One of the hardest things to do is go back and learn a second or third time what you should have learned the first time. Many who say they'll put school on the back burner and come back later to get their education often don't go back for it at all.
Some quit college for what appears to be big bucks, only to discover they could have gone further if they'd stuck it out and earned their degree. They reach a certain level, then find they must go back to school to earn the degree they thought they'd be happy without. They watch as people who aren't as experienced go further because they have a degree.
It is written, "From whom much is given, much is required." Everything your mother and Angie and I and your uncles and aunts do for you is our way of investing in your potential.
At the age of 14 you've already done more than most Americans have. You've dined in stadium skyboxes while watching professional sports contests. You've been to Disney World more times than I can remember, never missed a meal because of poverty, and have always gotten everything you wanted for Christmas. Now you're preparing to go to London, Paris, and Madrid for your spring break.
We do these things for you just as our parents did these things for us. We gave these things to you because we love you and expect the best for and from you. Now you have to love yourself enough to demand the best for and from yourself.
Girls who have not had the opportunities you've had are sometimes so easily impressed by the provider of those opportunities that they find themselves being forced to show their gratitude in ways that cost them their dignity and self-respect. We give you what we give you because we love you. Your smile and thank-you are gratitude enough. Some boys will try to impress you with things in order to make you feel you owe them something. Boys shouldn't be able to impress you with things you've already had. More on that later.
In your life you will have what are known as "the lean years." I never knew what a hungry day was until I was responsible for taking care of myself. Then there were plenty of hungry days, but I learned from them. I learned that although I was hungry, I wouldn't starve to death. I learned I could work and, if I handled my money wisely, put a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food on my table without breaking the law or disrespecting myself. I learned to put my faith in God and my shoulder to the wheel. I learned a task is only hard work if you don't want to do it, and I learned if I managed my time wisely in college, I could get A's in just about all my classes. I also learned it was possible for my classmates to have a party, a dance, or a serious throw-down jam without my being in attendance.
This brings us back full circle to school and what those ninth graders/college freshmen must come to realize.
1. Everyone is new at something at least once. If they're not, they've been where they are too long.
2. Things appear big the first few times you see them until you find your way around. Remember how large Hillcrest Heights Elementary School looked when you were in kindergarten? If you don't want to ask how to get somewhere, get a map. If they don't have one, be the first to make one.
3. If you want to make a friend, be a friend, but not too much too soon. Trust, love, and respect are things that must be earned.
4. When you study, leave no stone unturned so that when you put your pen down after taking the exam, you'll know in your heart you've done all you could to get an A. God and you are the only ones who will know whether or not you're lying.
There you have it, beautiful girlfriend. Instructions on how to get through not only high school but college too. You can do it. I know you can. If I can, you can, because you're much smarter than I (in some things). There's nothing standing between you and the honor roll except air and opportunity. As far as I can see, you have plenty of both!
Love, Dad
Beautiful Ugly People
Hello Rhonda,
While I'm here at work, I am thinking about you and some things you should know. For some reason it occurs to me that you should know about ugly beautiful people and beautiful ugly people.
You will meet some people in your life who may not be physically attractive or pleasing to the eye, but who are wonderful on the inside. Along the same line, you will meet some people who, although they look good and dress nicely and seem to say all the things you think you want to hear, have a personality with the ugliest face this side of a lemon-eating contest. You can perfume fertilizer and put it in a nice, pretty box, but it's still cow manure just the same. Far too many times people confuse good looks with good people.
If someone is truly good, it will radiate from the inside and show on the outside because, after all, it's what's inside that's important. Here's how to be a beautiful person:
When you are polite without being subservient (look it up) and considerate without being condescending (look it up). When you are kind without coddling. When you can diplomatically excuse yourself from the presence of fools. When you can realize that although there may be some good in everyone, it's up to you to decide how long you should wait for someone to show the good that may or may not be within.
When you are intelligent enough to realize that someone or something may not be in your best interest and that you can care without it costing you your self-esteem. You must do right, even when it would be easier to go along with the crowd doing wrong.
When you are smart enough to speak up for those who can't speak for themselves, without getting so caught up in the sound of your own voice you lose sight of the point and become the very thing you're speaking against.
When you can be a friend without being foolish by showing more gratitude than attitude, and when you can show love (First Corinthians, Chapter 13, tells what love is; substitute "love" for "charity") and realize love is being shown to you.
When you get to know God so well that you figure out Jesus did not come to earth to save the "perfect" people, just people like you and me. When you can learn all these things (and believe me, it takes a lifetime) and know enough to say you don't know enough, then you have become what the essence of true beauty is all about.
Before you say a word to anyone about anything, know that what you say should always go through three gates: The first gate?is it kind? (You'd be surprised how far a kind word w...
1. You ARE special. 2. God has an important job for you and everything you go through prepares you for it. 3. Everything will be all right in the morning; maybe not tomorrow morning, but one morning is going to come and everything will be all right. 4. Death is a fact of life. 5. Your work is your signature, what you leave to the world. Always do your best. 6. Everyone has an off day. This, too, shall pass. 7. Your reputation may precede you; make that a good thing. 8. You make your own luck by the amount of effort you bring to the table. 9. Everybody has an agenda. 10. Bad people do exist; be careful. 11. Romance is like a traffic accident: the slower you go, the less damage you do. 12. All you have to do is breathe and some people won't like you, will be jealous of you, and will talk about you. Ignore them. 13. If your intentions are pure, unselfish, and good, God will bring them to life. 14. If your actions are evil, self-centered, and mean, God will bring you to task. 15. You ARE the star of this epic production called your life. Everyone chooses their own director. Some are directed by greed, lust, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, status, loneliness, or vengeance. I recommend choosing God as your director. 16. Love can make fools or geniuses of us all. 17. Don't be impatient; be efficient with your time. 18. Every new morning you see is God's way of saying, "Get up and go try it again."
Adjusting to New Things
Dear Rhonda,
Enclosed is a newspaper article concerning ninth graders in the D.C. metropolitan area and how difficult it has been for them to adjust to their first year of high school. Problems ranged from being overwhelmed by the size of the school to being afraid to ask what might be considered a "stupid" question. A few of the students said they had problems making new friends and didn't know how to use their planners or study for all the different classes.
After reading the article, it occurred to me that these problems don't sound so different from the complaints college freshmen make when they are away from home for the first time.
The main difference would be that in high school, if students don't do well, they have to repeat ninth grade, but in college, if you don't do well, first you are put on academic probation and then you flunk out, never to return. There are scores of people who use the excuse, "Well, college just wasn't for me," when they know in their hearts they just didn't try hard enough.
They got to school and, drunk with their newfound freedom, realized they could stay up and stay out as long as they pleased. They could go to class when and if they felt like it, and their teachers wouldn't give them the blues about it. They ate when they wanted, they slept when they wanted, and before they knew it, they failed?which is what they didn't want.
Before you fix your mouth to give me that "Well, I just can't get it" business, let's remember you know the latest fashions, you've memorized all the words to the latest songs, and you've managed to stay on the honor roll.
What I'm saying is, you can get it if you stick with it. It's all about the level of importance you give things. You must understand?you have to learn all you can while you can. One of the hardest things to do is go back and learn a second or third time what you should have learned the first time. Many who say they'll put school on the back burner and come back later to get their education often don't go back for it at all.
Some quit college for what appears to be big bucks, only to discover they could have gone further if they'd stuck it out and earned their degree. They reach a certain level, then find they must go back to school to earn the degree they thought they'd be happy without. They watch as people who aren't as experienced go further because they have a degree.
It is written, "From whom much is given, much is required." Everything your mother and Angie and I and your uncles and aunts do for you is our way of investing in your potential.
At the age of 14 you've already done more than most Americans have. You've dined in stadium skyboxes while watching professional sports contests. You've been to Disney World more times than I can remember, never missed a meal because of poverty, and have always gotten everything you wanted for Christmas. Now you're preparing to go to London, Paris, and Madrid for your spring break.
We do these things for you just as our parents did these things for us. We gave these things to you because we love you and expect the best for and from you. Now you have to love yourself enough to demand the best for and from yourself.
Girls who have not had the opportunities you've had are sometimes so easily impressed by the provider of those opportunities that they find themselves being forced to show their gratitude in ways that cost them their dignity and self-respect. We give you what we give you because we love you. Your smile and thank-you are gratitude enough. Some boys will try to impress you with things in order to make you feel you owe them something. Boys shouldn't be able to impress you with things you've already had. More on that later.
In your life you will have what are known as "the lean years." I never knew what a hungry day was until I was responsible for taking care of myself. Then there were plenty of hungry days, but I learned from them. I learned that although I was hungry, I wouldn't starve to death. I learned I could work and, if I handled my money wisely, put a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food on my table without breaking the law or disrespecting myself. I learned to put my faith in God and my shoulder to the wheel. I learned a task is only hard work if you don't want to do it, and I learned if I managed my time wisely in college, I could get A's in just about all my classes. I also learned it was possible for my classmates to have a party, a dance, or a serious throw-down jam without my being in attendance.
This brings us back full circle to school and what those ninth graders/college freshmen must come to realize.
1. Everyone is new at something at least once. If they're not, they've been where they are too long.
2. Things appear big the first few times you see them until you find your way around. Remember how large Hillcrest Heights Elementary School looked when you were in kindergarten? If you don't want to ask how to get somewhere, get a map. If they don't have one, be the first to make one.
3. If you want to make a friend, be a friend, but not too much too soon. Trust, love, and respect are things that must be earned.
4. When you study, leave no stone unturned so that when you put your pen down after taking the exam, you'll know in your heart you've done all you could to get an A. God and you are the only ones who will know whether or not you're lying.
There you have it, beautiful girlfriend. Instructions on how to get through not only high school but college too. You can do it. I know you can. If I can, you can, because you're much smarter than I (in some things). There's nothing standing between you and the honor roll except air and opportunity. As far as I can see, you have plenty of both!
Love, Dad
Beautiful Ugly People
Hello Rhonda,
While I'm here at work, I am thinking about you and some things you should know. For some reason it occurs to me that you should know about ugly beautiful people and beautiful ugly people.
You will meet some people in your life who may not be physically attractive or pleasing to the eye, but who are wonderful on the inside. Along the same line, you will meet some people who, although they look good and dress nicely and seem to say all the things you think you want to hear, have a personality with the ugliest face this side of a lemon-eating contest. You can perfume fertilizer and put it in a nice, pretty box, but it's still cow manure just the same. Far too many times people confuse good looks with good people.
If someone is truly good, it will radiate from the inside and show on the outside because, after all, it's what's inside that's important. Here's how to be a beautiful person:
When you are polite without being subservient (look it up) and considerate without being condescending (look it up). When you are kind without coddling. When you can diplomatically excuse yourself from the presence of fools. When you can realize that although there may be some good in everyone, it's up to you to decide how long you should wait for someone to show the good that may or may not be within.
When you are intelligent enough to realize that someone or something may not be in your best interest and that you can care without it costing you your self-esteem. You must do right, even when it would be easier to go along with the crowd doing wrong.
When you are smart enough to speak up for those who can't speak for themselves, without getting so caught up in the sound of your own voice you lose sight of the point and become the very thing you're speaking against.
When you can be a friend without being foolish by showing more gratitude than attitude, and when you can show love (First Corinthians, Chapter 13, tells what love is; substitute "love" for "charity") and realize love is being shown to you.
When you get to know God so well that you figure out Jesus did not come to earth to save the "perfect" people, just people like you and me. When you can learn all these things (and believe me, it takes a lifetime) and know enough to say you don't know enough, then you have become what the essence of true beauty is all about.
Before you say a word to anyone about anything, know that what you say should always go through three gates: The first gate?is it kind? (You'd be surprised how far a kind word w...
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- EditoreVillard Books
- Data di pubblicazione2002
- ISBN 10 0375508422
- ISBN 13 9780375508424
- RilegaturaCopertina rigida
- Numero edizione1
- Numero di pagine95
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