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Whip Your Career into Submission: The 30-Day Plan to Transform Yourself from a Job Slave into the Master of Your Destiny with Excerts from 'Food - Rilegato
A frank, amusing guide to extricating oneself from the corporate rut offers thirty practical lessons designed to help readers attain their career goals. By the author of How to Succeed in Business Without a Penis. $25,000 ad/promo.
Le informazioni nella sezione "Riassunto" possono far riferimento a edizioni diverse di questo titolo.
L'autore:
Karen Salmansohn is a recovered award-winning senior vice president ad slave who has worked at J. Walter Thompson, Young and Rubicam, and McCann Erikson. At age twenty-seven she set herself free to write books and establish an image-consulting firm whose clients included MTV, Lifetime, CBS, NBC, Revlon, and L'Oreal. She has sold TV shows to Nickelodeon and MTV and her novel, 50% Off, to Miramax for a film to star Marisa Tomei. Now a full-time writer, she has authored two bestsellers, How to Make Your Man Behave in 21 Days or Less Using the Secrets of Professional Dog Trainers and How to Succeed in Business Without a Penis, has made over 350 TV appearances, and gives business seminars nationally and internationally.
Estratto. © Riproduzione autorizzata. Diritti riservati.:
Whip Workaholism Into Submission or, Are You Getting Screwed at the Office and Not at Home?
"If you don't come in on Saturday, don't bother coming in on Sunday" was one of the running jokes in the ad business (or I guess that would be ad busyness?).
I remember there was this one evening that my art director and I got into the elevator to leave at 9 o'clock, and he said to me, "Wow, we got out early tonight." Then we laughed--realizing that 9 o'clock is anything but early to get out. And that's when I realized I really should get out--for good.
Basically I believe:
You must make a life, not just a living.
And, even better, do more living it up.
Hence I am going to quit writing this chapter now and go to the movies.
Just kidding . . .
Though, let me tell you a little bit about your pal, Mistress Karen. Right now I am in my apartment, it's 9:58 p.m., and I am going to be writing until 12 midnight--or until I write another 10 pages--or until I fall asleep in front of my computer, drool dribbling down my chin onto my keyboard, shortcircuiting my computer so it crashes yet again. Though probably that won't happen because I'm on my third cup of coffee.
So what I have learned since my ad days about balance in my life?
Umm . . .
Uh . . .
Hmmm . . .
I have learned something.
1. If you love what you do--which I now do--then working hard doesn't feel as hard on you.
2. I assign myself phone recesses to break up my work, so I can catch up with friends, and stay in the gossip loop. (Otherwise, if I don't watch it, I become the antistalker--someone who never calls.)
3. I plan something fun to look forward to when a big work project is complete, to keep me psyched and going--like a concert or a romantic dinner with my paramour.
4. I try to laugh a little each day. I call a funny pal, or read a funny book.
5. I try to love--and be loved--a little each day. I spend time with people who help me keep my arteries healthy and pumping.
6. I try to read a little each day--so I don't become too workcentric or Karencentric--meaning, I stay aware that there is a huge, complicated, populated world pulsating just a few feet away from my office and apartment.
7. I recognize that it's called the "weekend" not the "weakened."
8. If I have to make a little less money to have little more free time, I will. I believe a balanced life is as important as a balanced checkbook.
You Are a Human Being, Not a Human Doing
It's important to love what you do, but you must keep in mind you are more than what you do. You are who you are when you are just being. Just you. Little old you. Which is really: little young you. The you that you truly are underneath all your defenses and fears and hurts that built up a protective covering around your heart.
Are You Working or Shirking?
You might stay at the office later, going over and over a report because you are in avoidance--either about a relationship with someone that isn't working or your relationship with yourself that might not be working. So you might choose to put all your books in alphabetical order, instead of putting in order the role you are now playing with your dysfunctional family.
However, you must know, if you do not spend the time going within yourself, you will go without something you truly need--like love or the gut-honest answers to the hard questions you have about your parents or spouse. You must pay attention to your real feelings, because respecting your feelings is respecting yourself.
Workaholism Can Be as Bad as Alcoholism
Debbie, an advertising account executive, used to work every night until midnight, and at least ten hours on the weekend. Her husband was always complaining that he never got to see her--that she was married to her job more than she was married to him. Finally, after two years of complaining, Debbie's husband asked for a divorce. Debbie was shocked. Her husband was shocked that Debbie was shocked. He had repeatedly brought up his complaints. But it wasn't until he was out of the door that Debbie saw how her job was preventing her from having true intimacy with her husband. Then she entered therapy and realized she had some major phobias about getting too close to people.
A lot of workaholics relate to Debbie, who now realizes--thanks to therapy--that she used her job as an excuse not to get close to her husband--and her true feelings. "I also realize now that I felt that my job was what made me special," says Debbie, "I thought that my success was what made people like me. I had to stop working so hard and get to know who I am--face the parts of me I didn't want to see--and learn to love these parts. I also realize now that I had been lying to myself about how much work I needed to do, so I could avoid the real work I needed to do--working on my feelings and sense of self. I know all this sounds so corny. But I swear, therapy has changed my life. My work life as well as my love life. I now work less hard, but do just as well. And I now I have a new man I'm dating--and I'm very aware of spending enough time with him."
Getting back to the point of this chapter . . .
When Was the Last Time You Had Sex?
You can tell me. It's Day #25. We can open up.
Okay, so don't tell me. But tell yourself. And if you haven't been having sex enough lately, do something about it. I know, I know. Sex is not the answer--but it is a fun false start. Seriously, though. Having balance in your life means making sure you keep yourself stimulated in the following ways:
1. Physically.
2. Emotionally.
3. Creatively.
4. Intellectually.
5. Spiritually.
In other words, in between doing your work, you must make sure you have a little bit of the following in working order:
1. Love.
2. Sex.
3. Friendship.
4. Family.
5. Spirituality.
6. Entertainment.
7. Exercise.
8. Travel.
Do you? If not, why not?
Maybe you think that it's not possible. But that's a slave's limited thinking. When you change your idea about what life can be, you can change what your life can be. Remember that 80/20 rule? 80 percent of your results come from 20 percent of your actions. You can find the time. You just have to be disciplined about how you spend your time at the office. IF YOU'RE WORKING HARD TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS, BUT NOT HAVING TIME TO ENJOY YOUR SUCCESS, THEN YOU ARE NOT A SUCCESS.
Or as Christopher Morley said: "There is only one success--to be able to spend your life in your own way."
You know what? With all this in mind, I think I'm going to finish my work up early, cut this chapter short, and do some smooching with my paramour.
See you tomorrow.
Today's Fantasy Role-Playing Exercises (and Tips for Cracking Whips): The Mommy Track
Although I'm not a mom--yet--I recognize how hard it is to juggle work and a baby. But it's--thankfully--becoming easier. So if you've been considering having a baby, but think you don't have the time or money--or do have a baby and are questioning if you have the time or money, then today do something to research a better way to be both a master mom and a master careerist. Today look into day care centers near you. Or call up a new nanny service that a friend told you about that you have not called yet. Use the time you've been spending complaining to do something proactive, so you can be the mom of your fantasies as well as have the career of your fantasies.
Are You Crazy About Your Job, or Going Crazy?
Do your loved ones complain that they never see you--that any day now they expect to see your photo on the back of a milk carton? If so, maybe you're working too hard. Maybe you need to find out why you're working too hard. Maybe you need to see a therapist--either alone or with your partner. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to try out a few sessions and see if they offer you any clarity. Call a therapist today.
Fear of Commitment: It Could Happen to You--Or Someone You Can't Love
Have sex with someone you love today--he'll love you for it . . . and love me for saying this. Trust me. It's good to complain about being an exhausted, sleep-deprived wreck of a human being for other reasons than "I've been working too hard." Or if it's your partner who's working too hard at his job, you can help make your romantic life come alive by calling him today at the office and talking dirty to him--when he can't respond. Just make sure you're not on speakerphone.
Is Your Work Life on the Rocks?
Call information and get the number of your local AA--Alcoholics Anonymous. Ask them to send you a copy of their 12-step program for alcoholism. Wherever there is the word alcohol replace it with work and read it once again.
Circle the Following
Decide today to make sure you are building a supportive circle of friends. It's important to put in the effort of intimacy with more than just your lifetime partner. So work on leaving work early and spending time with a good friend--preferably a funny friend. I believe the amount you laugh in a day is the true measure of a healthy, balanced person.
5 Master Mantras to Help You Whip Workaholism Into Submission:
Next time you feel your life is all work and no play, remember:
1. I am not a SLAVE who works until the a.m. I am a MASTER who wants to take the time to know WHO I AM.
2. I am not a SLAVE who works round the clock. I am a MASTER who makes the time for the people I love.
3. I am not a SLAVE who thinks here in the nineties you have to work hard to support a family. I am a MASTER who thinks up ways to support a family and still have time for a family.
4. I am not a SLAVE who doesn't know the meaning of relax. I am a MASTER who knows that the way to find meaning in my life is to ...
"If you don't come in on Saturday, don't bother coming in on Sunday" was one of the running jokes in the ad business (or I guess that would be ad busyness?).
I remember there was this one evening that my art director and I got into the elevator to leave at 9 o'clock, and he said to me, "Wow, we got out early tonight." Then we laughed--realizing that 9 o'clock is anything but early to get out. And that's when I realized I really should get out--for good.
Basically I believe:
You must make a life, not just a living.
And, even better, do more living it up.
Hence I am going to quit writing this chapter now and go to the movies.
Just kidding . . .
Though, let me tell you a little bit about your pal, Mistress Karen. Right now I am in my apartment, it's 9:58 p.m., and I am going to be writing until 12 midnight--or until I write another 10 pages--or until I fall asleep in front of my computer, drool dribbling down my chin onto my keyboard, shortcircuiting my computer so it crashes yet again. Though probably that won't happen because I'm on my third cup of coffee.
So what I have learned since my ad days about balance in my life?
Umm . . .
Uh . . .
Hmmm . . .
I have learned something.
1. If you love what you do--which I now do--then working hard doesn't feel as hard on you.
2. I assign myself phone recesses to break up my work, so I can catch up with friends, and stay in the gossip loop. (Otherwise, if I don't watch it, I become the antistalker--someone who never calls.)
3. I plan something fun to look forward to when a big work project is complete, to keep me psyched and going--like a concert or a romantic dinner with my paramour.
4. I try to laugh a little each day. I call a funny pal, or read a funny book.
5. I try to love--and be loved--a little each day. I spend time with people who help me keep my arteries healthy and pumping.
6. I try to read a little each day--so I don't become too workcentric or Karencentric--meaning, I stay aware that there is a huge, complicated, populated world pulsating just a few feet away from my office and apartment.
7. I recognize that it's called the "weekend" not the "weakened."
8. If I have to make a little less money to have little more free time, I will. I believe a balanced life is as important as a balanced checkbook.
You Are a Human Being, Not a Human Doing
It's important to love what you do, but you must keep in mind you are more than what you do. You are who you are when you are just being. Just you. Little old you. Which is really: little young you. The you that you truly are underneath all your defenses and fears and hurts that built up a protective covering around your heart.
Are You Working or Shirking?
You might stay at the office later, going over and over a report because you are in avoidance--either about a relationship with someone that isn't working or your relationship with yourself that might not be working. So you might choose to put all your books in alphabetical order, instead of putting in order the role you are now playing with your dysfunctional family.
However, you must know, if you do not spend the time going within yourself, you will go without something you truly need--like love or the gut-honest answers to the hard questions you have about your parents or spouse. You must pay attention to your real feelings, because respecting your feelings is respecting yourself.
Workaholism Can Be as Bad as Alcoholism
Debbie, an advertising account executive, used to work every night until midnight, and at least ten hours on the weekend. Her husband was always complaining that he never got to see her--that she was married to her job more than she was married to him. Finally, after two years of complaining, Debbie's husband asked for a divorce. Debbie was shocked. Her husband was shocked that Debbie was shocked. He had repeatedly brought up his complaints. But it wasn't until he was out of the door that Debbie saw how her job was preventing her from having true intimacy with her husband. Then she entered therapy and realized she had some major phobias about getting too close to people.
A lot of workaholics relate to Debbie, who now realizes--thanks to therapy--that she used her job as an excuse not to get close to her husband--and her true feelings. "I also realize now that I felt that my job was what made me special," says Debbie, "I thought that my success was what made people like me. I had to stop working so hard and get to know who I am--face the parts of me I didn't want to see--and learn to love these parts. I also realize now that I had been lying to myself about how much work I needed to do, so I could avoid the real work I needed to do--working on my feelings and sense of self. I know all this sounds so corny. But I swear, therapy has changed my life. My work life as well as my love life. I now work less hard, but do just as well. And I now I have a new man I'm dating--and I'm very aware of spending enough time with him."
Getting back to the point of this chapter . . .
When Was the Last Time You Had Sex?
You can tell me. It's Day #25. We can open up.
Okay, so don't tell me. But tell yourself. And if you haven't been having sex enough lately, do something about it. I know, I know. Sex is not the answer--but it is a fun false start. Seriously, though. Having balance in your life means making sure you keep yourself stimulated in the following ways:
1. Physically.
2. Emotionally.
3. Creatively.
4. Intellectually.
5. Spiritually.
In other words, in between doing your work, you must make sure you have a little bit of the following in working order:
1. Love.
2. Sex.
3. Friendship.
4. Family.
5. Spirituality.
6. Entertainment.
7. Exercise.
8. Travel.
Do you? If not, why not?
Maybe you think that it's not possible. But that's a slave's limited thinking. When you change your idea about what life can be, you can change what your life can be. Remember that 80/20 rule? 80 percent of your results come from 20 percent of your actions. You can find the time. You just have to be disciplined about how you spend your time at the office. IF YOU'RE WORKING HARD TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS, BUT NOT HAVING TIME TO ENJOY YOUR SUCCESS, THEN YOU ARE NOT A SUCCESS.
Or as Christopher Morley said: "There is only one success--to be able to spend your life in your own way."
You know what? With all this in mind, I think I'm going to finish my work up early, cut this chapter short, and do some smooching with my paramour.
See you tomorrow.
Today's Fantasy Role-Playing Exercises (and Tips for Cracking Whips): The Mommy Track
Although I'm not a mom--yet--I recognize how hard it is to juggle work and a baby. But it's--thankfully--becoming easier. So if you've been considering having a baby, but think you don't have the time or money--or do have a baby and are questioning if you have the time or money, then today do something to research a better way to be both a master mom and a master careerist. Today look into day care centers near you. Or call up a new nanny service that a friend told you about that you have not called yet. Use the time you've been spending complaining to do something proactive, so you can be the mom of your fantasies as well as have the career of your fantasies.
Are You Crazy About Your Job, or Going Crazy?
Do your loved ones complain that they never see you--that any day now they expect to see your photo on the back of a milk carton? If so, maybe you're working too hard. Maybe you need to find out why you're working too hard. Maybe you need to see a therapist--either alone or with your partner. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to try out a few sessions and see if they offer you any clarity. Call a therapist today.
Fear of Commitment: It Could Happen to You--Or Someone You Can't Love
Have sex with someone you love today--he'll love you for it . . . and love me for saying this. Trust me. It's good to complain about being an exhausted, sleep-deprived wreck of a human being for other reasons than "I've been working too hard." Or if it's your partner who's working too hard at his job, you can help make your romantic life come alive by calling him today at the office and talking dirty to him--when he can't respond. Just make sure you're not on speakerphone.
Is Your Work Life on the Rocks?
Call information and get the number of your local AA--Alcoholics Anonymous. Ask them to send you a copy of their 12-step program for alcoholism. Wherever there is the word alcohol replace it with work and read it once again.
Circle the Following
Decide today to make sure you are building a supportive circle of friends. It's important to put in the effort of intimacy with more than just your lifetime partner. So work on leaving work early and spending time with a good friend--preferably a funny friend. I believe the amount you laugh in a day is the true measure of a healthy, balanced person.
5 Master Mantras to Help You Whip Workaholism Into Submission:
Next time you feel your life is all work and no play, remember:
1. I am not a SLAVE who works until the a.m. I am a MASTER who wants to take the time to know WHO I AM.
2. I am not a SLAVE who works round the clock. I am a MASTER who makes the time for the people I love.
3. I am not a SLAVE who thinks here in the nineties you have to work hard to support a family. I am a MASTER who thinks up ways to support a family and still have time for a family.
4. I am not a SLAVE who doesn't know the meaning of relax. I am a MASTER who knows that the way to find meaning in my life is to ...
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- EditoreBroadway Books
- Data di pubblicazione1998
- ISBN 10 0767901819
- ISBN 13 9780767901819
- RilegaturaCopertina rigida
- Numero di pagine270
- Valutazione libreria
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Whip Your Career Into Submission: The 30-day Plan to Transform Yourself from Job Slave to Master of Your Own Destiny
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