Uplift: Secrets from the Sisterhood of Breast Cancer Survivors - Brossura

Delinsky, Barbara

Brossura

ISBN 10: 1451654677 ISBN 13: 9781451654677

Casa editrice: Atria, 2011

Riassunto

From the New York Times bestselling author comes this newly revised compilation of practical advice and upbeat anecdotes from more than 300 breast cancer survivors—as well as their families and friends.

Barbara Delinsky's 1998 bestseller, COAST ROAD, featured a heroine who was a breast cancer survivor. To this day, it is the book that generates more mail than any of her others. That fact, combined with Barbara's ongoing commitment to breast cancer research, led her to her first book of nonfiction. Not a medical book -- there is no discussion of the pros and cons of a particular treatment or hospital or doctor -- UPLIFT is rather a collection of hundreds of pieces of practical and inspiring tidbits collected from survivors and their on everything from what kind of deodorant to use during radiation treatment to the best kinds of exercise aftloved ones. Think of it as "The Girlfriends' Guide" to breast cancer, with hints on everything from what kind of deodorant to use during radiation treatment to the best kinds of exercise after a mastectomy to how to tell the person you're most afraid to tell that you have cancer.

And as timeless as ever, this newly revised edition of UPLIFT contains the latest and most up-to-the-minute medical information, as well as new stories from inspiring cancer survivors.

Su questo libro

L'autore:

Barbara Delinsky’s bestselling novels include Escape, The Woman Next Door, and Coast Road.. Barbara donates the entirety of her proceeds from Uplift to fund an annual breast surgery fellowship at Massachusetts General Hospital. Readers can write to her c/o P.O. Box 812894, Wellesley, MA 02482-0026 or at BarbaraDelinsky.com.

Estratto. © Riproduzione autorizzata. Diritti riservati.:

1· On Diagnosis

First Things First

Where was I when I learned that I had breast cancer? You may as well ask where I was when I learned that JFK had been shot. I will never forget either answer.

In the case of JFK, I was in college, returning to my dormitory after class to find the television on in the dorm living room and my friends gathered around it. I remember feeling total disbelief—that what had happened couldn’t be so. It had nothing to do with political affiliation and everything to do with youth, vigor, and Camelot.

In the case of breast cancer, I felt no disbelief. I was working out in the basement of our home when my surgeon called to say that the results of my biopsy were in and that the tiny little granules she had removed from my breast were malignant. She told you that on the phone? Indeed, she did. It was just the right thing for me, and she knew it. She and I had been through biopsies together before. She knew that my mother had had breast cancer and that I’d been expecting it. She knew that the best approach to take with me would be the understated one. What she actually said was, “You’ve spent a lifetime waiting for the other shoe to fall, and now that it has, it’s a very small shoe. The cure rate for this is ninety-nine-point-five percent. Here is what I recommend . . .”

I listened. Then I hung up the phone and called my husband. Then I finished working out. In doing that, I was showing myself that I was healthy and strong, cancer and all. I needed to minimize the impact of what I’d learned . . . because just as a certain idealism had been lost when JFK was shot, so I knew that with a diagnosis of breast cancer, a part of my life was forever changed.

I was shaky as I climbed back up the stairs—and what had me most frightened wasn’t the prospect of having a re-excision and radiation. It was phoning our three sons, who were in three different states, in college and law school at the time. I went about making dinner, a crucial same-old same-old, as I put through those calls, and as I talked with each son I had the first of many cancer experiences that weren’t nearly as bad as I’d imagined. “Curable” was the word I stressed. My confidence was contagious.

MAKING DECISIONS

“When I was first diagnosed, I knew pretty much nothing about breast cancer—except that I didn’t want it! By learning everything I could, I started to calm down, sort things out, and actively make decisions. Knowledge is power. It definitely makes you feel a little bit more in control of your life.”

Deborah Lambert; diagnosed in 2000 at age 47;
medical secretary; Massachusetts

“The first thing I did when the doctor told me I had breast cancer was to sit down, since I was weak in the knees, then to get a pen and paper. As an educator I needed to get it all in print, to get it right. That served to calm me immediately.”

Christine Foutris; diagnosed in 1999 at age 49;
teacher; Illinois

“When I woke up after a lumpectomy and learned that I had breast cancer, I was in shock. To show how little I knew, when my husband was visiting and offered me a sip from his drink, I declined, saying that we didn’t know if he could catch cancer from my germs. After he left, I picked up a book that a friend had left. Opening it at random, my eyes caught the words, ‘A cancerous cell is, in fact, a weak and confused cell.’ That made both of us, I thought, and laughed heartily.”

Carol Pasternak; diagnosed in 1986 at age 47;
artist; Ontario, Canada

“I was devastated when I got the diagnosis of cancer. I’d had my mammogram faithfully every year. I went home to prepare dinner in a sort of shock. As I stood at the stove I worried about what was going to happen and how I could handle it. Then, suddenly, a feeling of calm and peace came over me, and an inner voice said, ‘You will be all right.’ From that moment on, I knew I would survive.”

Wendy Golab; diagnosed in 2000 at age 63;
nurse; Connecticut

“Realize that a diagnosis of cancer does not mean instant doom. You have time to investigate, reflect, get several opinions, and make careful decisions. Tell yourself this every morning, and tell everyone around you to keep telling it back to you.”

Susan Stamberg; diagnosed in 1986 at age 48;
broadcast journalist; Washington, D.C.

“I didn’t make any decisions about treatment until my children and significant other had been told. We all went to the surgeon’s office together the next day. My children were all in their twenties. The home care nurse and I gave one daughter a crash course in Nursing 101 so that she could change my dressings, and they all took turns driving me to my doctor appointments and treatment. This was a reassurance for them that nothing was being kept from them.”

Becky Honeycutt; diagnosed in 1995 at age 53;
licensed practical nurse; Indiana

“One of the very first things I did, after the words ‘cancer’ and ‘radiation’ were mentioned, was to get down to the local library to see what radiation entailed.”

Deb Haney; diagnosed in 1996 at age 48;
administrative assistant, artist; Massachusetts

“When I was first diagnosed, I wanted information immediately. I wanted to know which treatment plan was right for me. I rushed out and purchased the largest book on breast cancer I could find and read it twice. I sought the advice of trusted family, friends, doctors, and breast cancer survivors. I made sure I was equipped with the best possible information, so that I could be my own best advocate.”

Corinne Wood; diagnosed in 1997 at age 42;
Lieutenant Governor; Illinois

“Treat your diagnosis as a business problem. Do research. Use the Internet, and go through literature at the hospital resource room. Feeling in control is pretty important, so begin with a notebook. The inside cover should have the name and telephone numbers of each of your caretakers (doctor, nurse, etc.) as they come on the scene. The notebook can be sectioned to keep track of doctors’ appointments, definitions, outside advice, and so on.”

Anne Jacobs; diagnosed in 1999 at age 62;
managing partner, real estate; Massachusetts

“Try to attend lectures on breast cancer. All major hospitals have these programs. Just call the community relations director. Attend lectures on the side effects of treatment and the importance of good nutrition.”

Ellen Beth Simon; diagnosed in 1998 at age 41;
lawyer; New Jersey

“When I went to appointments after the diagnosis, I always had two or three of the children with me and sometimes all of them. They had so many questions to ask and also wanted to make sure I understood all the doctor was saying. After a while, I went alone with just my husband. When the doctor came in and saw only the two of us, he started hunting in all the closets and cupboards and finally said, ‘Okay, where are they hiding?’ We got a big chuckle out of that.”

Sally Martel; diagnosed in 1996 at age 60;
wife, mother, retired accountant; New Hampshire, Florida

“The hardest part of the whole mess was deciding what I wanted to do. I struggled with the decision-making process. Finally a dear, sweet lady said, ‘Do your homework, make a decision, and don’t look back. You can deal with whatever is up ahead when you get to it.’ She was right.”

Mitzi Scarborough; diagnosed in 1999 at age 37;
childcare provider; Arkansas

“How much do you really want to know? Be honest with yourself. Once you have the answer and know what your learning style is, find a survivor who is a match with you.”

Kathy Weaver-Stark; diagnosed in 1991 at age 46;
insurance adjuster, instructor; Oregon

“I would have loved to talk with someone about all of this before I had surgery and treatment. The worst part was my imagination. I worried myself to death with chemotherapy horror stories. But it’s a lot like pregnancy; it’s livable, doable.”

Joy West; diagnosed in 2000 at 34;
advertising account coordinator; South Carolina

“In deciding which option was best for me, I felt like I was looking at a Chinese menu. But what I found most comforting was that no matter who I talked to or what her own decision was, each felt confident of her decision even years later. Women even offered to show me their breasts. The idea of going to work without a bra began to sound pretty good.”

Kathi Ward; diagnosed in 1994 at age 47;
merchandiser; South Carolina

“During the diagnosis phase, go to a fertility clinic for advice if you desire to have children after treatment for breast cancer.”

Alexandra Koffman; diagnosed in 1997 at age 40;
registered nurse; Massachusetts

“When you’re first diagnosed, you may find yourself reading books, watching videos, getting more and more information on your options. The important thing to remember is that you need to make the decision that’s best for you. No one else can tell you that what you have decided to do is wrong, because there is no wrong, if this is what you want.”

Glenda Chance; diagnosed in 2000 at age 38;
homemaker, mother, and wife; Ohio

“Be your own advocate. Do what feels right for you. Don’t let anyone talk you into anything.”

Rhonda Sorrell; diagnosed in 1998 at age 43;
special education teacher; Michigan

“Knowledge is power. The more educated you become, the less frightening the unknown is. Read, read, and read more. It helps!”

Cathy Hanlon; diagnosed in 2000 at age 42;
school researcher; New York

“Twenty-one years ago, when I was diagnosed, many people recommended that I read a particular book on breast cancer. It happens that the author’s husband had left her following her diagnosis. I remember thinking how depressing that was. My husband was there. He was worried about me, and I was worried about him, since he looked like he’d been kicked in the stomach. I never had to even think about his leaving. I knew I was more to him than a pair of breasts, and any woman with a strong relationship should know so, too. It helped him that a family friend whose wife had recently had a mastectomy made the effort to talk to him. Marty isn’t one who easily verbalizes his feelings, but having a friend who’d been through it was good for him.”

Lynne Rutenberg; diagnosed in 1980 at age 35;
retired teacher; New Jersey

“Research everything about your disease. Ask questions. The ultimate decisions are yours to make. If you do your homework, you will feel that you have done the best for yourself and, ultimately, for all those who love and depend on you.”

Christine Webber; diagnosed in 1998 at age 55;
registered nurse; Illinois

“Everyone handles traumatic situations differently. What is right for one can be wrong for another. I did everything I could not to dwell on my situation. I chose my doctors, got a second opinion, contacted the National Cancer Institute for the latest information, then I left it at that. A friend mailed me a book she had painstakingly highlighted to make the information she thought I needed more accessible—I never read it. People sent me articles, which I never read. I dressed up for every appointment, so my doctors and nurses would see what I looked like well and consider me a person who would be well. I was not in denial about having had breast cancer. Whenever I had a chance, I mentioned it to people. That was the promise I had made, the ‘bargain’ for my life . . . that I would spread the word that women had breast cancer and lived.”

Jane Vaughan; diagnosed in 1991 at age 53;
writer; Texas

“I strongly recommend to anyone newly diagnosed that they join a clinical trials study. It is like having the undivided attention of a complete support system at all times.”

Jacki Anthony; diagnosed in 1998 at age 48;
nurse; Massachusetts

“The four words that I live by: This too shall pass.”

Suzanne Almond; diagnosed in 1996 at age 60;
secretary to the Special Services Director; New Hampshire

“Remember to thank your healthcare team as you navigate through the system of treatment. You would be surprised how much they worry about you as they plan your course of treatment.”

Kathy Weaver-Stark; diagnosed in 1991 at age 46;
insurance adjuster, instructor; Oregon

HELPFUL LITTLE TRICKS

“Take another person with you to your doctor appointments to act as your advocate. They can ask questions you forget to ask and can make sure things are well explained. Also, take a list of questions with you, so you don’t forget to ask the doctor something important. I know a woman who used to fax her questions in advance to her oncologist. Tape recorders are good for remembering the answers.”

Sharon Irons Strempski; diagnosed in 1997 at age 52;
registered nurse; Connecticut

“My mother and my husband were with me at every doctor’s appointment after my diagnosis. My mom kept a spiral notebook with her at all times to take notes. When we went for the first consultation to discuss the results of the pathology report, my mother had written down all the words that could possibly describe a tumor. When the doctor began, Mom just started circling words. This helped all of us to concentrate on what the doctor was saying. It was also helpful when reviewing later and doing research.”

Jennifer Wersal; diagnosed in 2000 at age 30;
marketing; Texas

“After my diagnosis, my dear friend and neighbor, Diane, came to the rescue. Because my husband and I were numb and couldn’t ‘hear,’ Diane went with us to see three surgeons, a radiation oncologist, and a reconstructive surgeon. She took notes, and we discussed my options later. One surgeon also taped our consultation. I suggest to others that they take a tape recorder to all appointments, plus a ‘Diane’—someone who loves you but can distance themselves.”

Marianne Rennie; diagnosed in 1988 at age 39;
cancer information specialist; Ohio

“Take a little tape recorder with you when you have your initial consultations with the surgeon and oncologist. Even if you have a friend or family member with you, there is just too much information to remember. I was able to replay the tape for my mother and sister, and it helped to answer questions that I had later on. There is just too much emotion going on to have to rely on your memory for technical terms and procedures.”

Deb Haney; diagnosed in 1996 at age 48;
administrative assistant, artist; Massachusetts

“When I was first diagnosed, a friend suggested I keep a journal of everything that was happening to me—what the doctor said, when and what the treatments were, and so on. I began doing that but found it to be too consuming. I was a pretty well-informed patient, and I didn’t think I needed to concentrate on my cancer this way. Instead, I decided to keep a ‘grateful journal.’ Every day I wrote down five things that I was grateful for. Granted, some days it was difficult to meet that goal, but every day for nine months I wrote something. It was such a positive exercise during a difficult time in my life. When I read those journals now, they lift my spirits.”

Susan Kowalski; diagnosed in 1997 at age 50;
college executive staff assistant; New York

“Form a phone tree. Then you only have to give an update to one person. Otherwise, the phone rings off the hook!”

Stephanie King;
friend of two survivors; New York

FINDING EARLY SUPPORT

“My husband was at home when I got the news. Our children were racing in the door from school, and at the same time the radiologist on the phone was confirming to me that I had cancer. I hung up and felt swallowed in conf...

Su questa edizione

• Editore: Atria
• Data di pubblicazione: 2011
• ISBN 10: 1451654677
• ISBN 13: 9781451654677
• Rilegatura: Copertina flessibile
• Numero di pagine: 416