Don't Worry

The first lesson you need to learn is that you must not worry! This is the biggest problem that I, you, and many other people have. Worrying strangles our creativity and growth, prohibiting us from making significant progress in our lives. Before you and I begin to tackle this significant problem, let us first define what worry is so that we can start from a common starting point. The dictionary defines worry as to "Give way to anxiety or unease; allow one's mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles."

Based on this definition, you can see that worry is a natural human behaviour, and as such, it is important to our survival that we as a species continue to exhibit this trait. Worry acts as a signal for us to implement the required mitigating actions that will allow us to protect ourselves and our loved ones. If we are in the jungle and hear the roars of a pride of hungry lions that have not eaten for a week, then not worrying and taking action would be rather foolish. The problem occurs when we perpetually worry about events completely outside of our control or about potential events for which we have already have plans in place. It is this habit of worrying that I will be speaking about.

What Worry Does to You

If your mind is continuously focused on an actual or potential problem that makes you feel anxious, then you are worrying and creating a stressful environment for yourself and your loved ones. To momentarily relieve this stress, many people practice habits that are harmful to themselves and the people they are associated with. These are some of these harmful habits:

1. Overeating: This is one thing I am guilty of. If I am worrying, I usually find myself at a restaurant enjoying an excellent meal, and this may go on for several days until the problem is resolved. If you are overeating, do a mental check to validate whether or not you are worrying.

2. Using drugs and alcohol: More and more people are taking drugs and alcohol so as to force their minds from thinking about the problem or situation they are worrying about. I frequently visit a shelter for the homeless and have met men that have become addicted to alcohol and drugs so they can avoid thinking about their problems only to end up losing the family, jobs, and hard–earned money they had worked for all their lives. Using drugs and alcohol won't solve your problem. If you are unable to stop worrying, then seek professional help as quickly as possible.

3. Shouting and insulting other people: When someone is behaving extremely negatively to express a negative thought, this is a defense mechanism in psychology referred to as "acting out." This is something that I know several individuals do both at the office and at home. To combat stressful situations, they insult and bully their employees, colleagues, and family members. I recall having a manager, that when presented with a problem, would attack everyone in his path until the problem was resolved. Of course the end result was that he didn't have the respect of his staff, and they avoided advising him of any potential or actual problem that he needed to address. This resulted in the issues becoming more severe than they should have been. If you behave in a similar manner, it is best that you seek professional help so you can learn how to approach your problems rationally, whether they are real or not. In essence, when you worry, it negatively affects you and the people around you, including your relationship with God. Constant worrying will destroy you!

But what does the Bible have to say about worry and how it affects you? There are three things it says that I would like to point out:

1. First, it says that worry is a heavy burden. This we can all agree on. Many people even hunch their back when they are worrying, as if they are literally carrying a heavy weight.

Proverbs 12:25. "Worry is a heavy burden, but a kind word always brings cheer.

2. The second key point that Scripture teaches us is that if you worry, then you won't do what you need to do to be successful.

Ecclesiastes 11:4. "If you worry about the weather and don't plant seeds, you won't harvest a crop."

Has this ever happened to you? An example could be you worry you will fail a job interview you've always wanted, so you decide not to apply. Or, you worry that your manager won't say yes to your request for a pay increase, so you don't ask him for one. And the list goes on and on. So by worrying, you significantly increase the chances that you will fail because you become fearful and decide not to proceed and do what is necessary for you to become successful. Don't let that happen to you!

3. Thirdly, the Bible teaches us that you don't live longer by worrying. This is supported by medical evidence, which undoubtedly proves that when you worry, you slowly destroy your body. Do you want this to happen to you? Do you want to destroy yourself? Of course not, so why worry?

Luke 12:25. "Can worry make you live longer?"

Why You Shouldn't Worry

Besides the overwhelming medical evidence that constant worrying destroys your body, there are other key reasons why you should not worry. Let's look at three of these reasons.

The first reason is that in both the Old and New Testament, God repeatedly tells us not to worry. As believers, we should put our trust and faith in Him and His words.

Psalm 91:5. "You won't need to worry about dangers at night or arrows during the day."

Mark 5:36. "Jesus heard what they said, and he said to Jairus, "Don't worry. Just have faith!" Luke 12:29. "Don't keep worrying about having something to eat or drink."

Haggai 2:5. "Just as I promised your ancestors when I brought them out of Egypt. Don't worry. My Spirit is right here with you."

The second reason why you shouldn't worry is because God will supply all of your needs – yes, not some of your needs, all of them!

Matthew 6:31–32. "Don't worry and ask yourselves, 'Will we have anything to eat? Will we have anything to drink? Will we have any clothes to wear?' Only people who don't know God are always worrying about such things. Your Father in heaven knows that you need all of these."

When you place a request before God, He has three possible responses. He can decide to immediately provide you with what you requested (our favourite option), He can decide that this is not the best time to grant your request, or He can decide not to provide you with what you are asking for. He is God almighty, not us, so it is His decision to make. Regardless of whichever option He chooses, there is a guarantee it will always be the best solution for you.

Does this freedom to choose apply to sickness and death? As difficult as it is, the answer is yes. A senior pastor once mentioned that "death is sometimes an answer to sickness." As children of faith who believe in the afterlife, being separated from our bodies and being with the Lord is a good thing and is the ultimate healing for anyone. Imagine, no more tears or pain and finally able to have the perfect body!

The third and final reason why you shouldn't worry is that worry generates disbelief, in turn preventing God from providing you with what you need. Disbelief has a deadly companion whose name is No Faith, and without faith it is impossible for us to get what we need or to please God.

Habakkuk 2:4. "I, the Lord, refuse to accept anyone who is proud. Only those who live by faith are acceptable to me."

Mark 9:23. "Jesus replied, "Why do you say 'if you can'? Anything is possible for someone who has faith!"

So let's decide not to worry. Let's decide to resist worry and fear. Let's decide to focus on faith and God's promises as by doing so we will become successful and be provided with what we need, living a peaceful life no matter the storm that confronts us.

Isaiah 26:3. "The Lord gives perfect peace to those whose faith is firm."

What to Do About Worry

Let's talk about what you should do to prevent or reduce the time you spend worrying. Here is a three–step approach, which I call SAG (symptoms, action, God), that you can use to reduce or eliminate your worry habit. The first step in SAG is knowing your worry Symptoms. This may sound strange to you, but I have recognized that many people simply don't know when they are in a state of worry or when they are under stress. They don't know their own symptoms of anxiety. You need to know these symptoms and the triggers that result in you entering a state of worry. By identifying these symptoms, you will be able to quickly eliminate or reduce the impact of the situation or individual that is causing you to worry.

Write down what happens to you every time you begin to worry. After you have written down as many symptoms as possible, rank them from 1 to 10, with 1 being it hardly happens, and 10 being it always happens. Pick the first five that are ranked the highest, and then write them on a small piece of paper and place the shortlist in your wallet, purse, or anywhere you'll always see it. This is your watch list; whenever you believe you are stressed, take it out and give it a look to confirm that this is indeed the case. If so, then it's time to identify, reduce, or eliminate the root cause. Remember to revisit and change your list overtime as your reaction may change as you get older or as your environment (home, employer, friends, family, church, etc.) changes.

Now that you know your symptoms, the second step is to have a positive Action plan to effectively respond to your worry state. Notice I wrote "Positive," so that means your action plan cannot include drugs or alcohol; excessive eating, sexual indulgence, or shopping; shouting; insulting your colleagues, friends, family, or others; or any other negative actions. Once a symptom kicks in, start looking for the root cause; usually, it is a new or recurring event, situation, or individual that has occurred or will occur — or a potential event that you only think may occur. Once you have identified the situation, event, or individual, then start to earnestly look for solutions that can resolve your concerns. I recommend that you identify at least two possible solutions to the problem. Also, you may require professional or personal help to identify the solutions, so don't hesitate to reach out to a close friend or to seek professional advice!

Once a solution has been identified, write a brief action plan and implement it as quickly as possible. If you develop concerns about the actions in your plan, you should acknowledge those concerns to yourself, and then GO AHEAD ANYWAY! The reason you should do this is because depending on who you speak to, they may tell you not to proceed based on the fears you have. They may even join your pity party, adding on some more fears for you to worry about. Your decisions can be easily influenced and swayed by others around you, and soon it won't be you making the decision but instead your friends, family, coworkers, etc. So just GO FOR IT — FULL STEAM AHEAD! This may sound a little brazen, but if you check with the experts, I'm positive they will tell you that countless potential situations people are worrying over never even happen! A few years ago, I read a book titled Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Dr. Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. I strongly recommend that book for people who habitually worry. If you are one of those people, I am confident that it will help you.

The third and final step is that you should hand the worry over to God. God repeatedly tells His believers that they shouldn't worry as He is in full control and will take care of them.

Luke 12:22. "Jesus said to his disciples: I tell you not to worry about your life! Don't worry about having something to eat or wear."

Now, full control doesn't mean that you should give up and not do anything about it. Do your best to resolve the situation, knowing and remembering that God, through your prayers and fasting, is working with you to resolve the problem. He is actively piecing together parts of the solution that you are unable to resolve. Take for example, the story of when Jesus and His disciples were out on the lake in a boat, Jesus himself sound asleep as a storm came through and large waves began to form.

Matthew 8: 23–27. "After Jesus left in a boat with his disciples, a terrible storm suddenly struck the lake, and waves started splashing into their boat. Jesus was sound asleep, so the disciples went over to him and woke him up. They said, 'Lord, save us! We're going to drown!' But Jesus replied, 'Why are you so afraid? You surely don't have much faith.' Then He got up and ordered the wind and the waves to calm down. And everything was calm. The men in the boat were amazed and said, 'Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him.'"

They tried their best to get to the other side. They didn't just pull their oars into the boat, sit back, and shout to Jesus to get up and do his miracle stuff. They were genuinely worried for their safety, trying their best to survive the waves and wind that were battering the boat. This is what I'm encouraging you to do as well. Don't sit back and do nothing! Don't let your boat sink! Work relentlessly towards a solution, and if you can't find it, shout out (pray) for help. He will answer you.

Matthew 7:7. "Ask, and you will receive. Search, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened for you."

The key is that you must do something. Don't be hungry and near death, spot a banana 3 feet from you, then ask God to go get the banana, peel it, put it in your mouth, and move your jaws up and down so that you can eat it.

Ecclesiastes 4:5. "Fools will fold their hands and starve to death."

Put an action plan together, do something, and reach for the banana! Is there a banana that you want and are praying for while you are doing absolutely nothing to get it? That is not Biblical, and it is highly unlikely that you will get the banana.

Think Big

To be successful in life, you need to think BIG. God represents success, and if you look around you, within and beyond this universe, you will see marvels, complexities, and awe–inspiring wonders beyond your wildest dreams. If God was thinking small, we wouldn't have all these marvels to enjoy and with which to sate our curiosity. Now if God thinks big, why shouldn't we? Aren't we supposed to be Christ–like? Look at what He told Abram.

Genesis 13:14–17. "After Abram and Lot had gone their separate ways, the Lord said to Abram: 'Look around to the north, south, east, and west. I will give you and your family all the land you can see. It will be theirs forever! I will give you more descendants than there are specks of dust on the earth, and someday it will be easier to count the specks of dust than to count your descendants. Now walk back and forth across the land, because I am giving it to you.'"

In essence, He is telling Abram to think bigger than the little he has, as there is far more available for him and his descendants to have. Are you thinking that way? Or are you only thinking about the little house, job, pay, family, and friends you have? Why not step out with God and look beyond what you have? Embrace in faith the marvelous things that God has planned for you.

Psalm 40:5. "You, Lord God, have done many wonderful things, and you have planned marvelous things for us. No one is like you! I would never be able to tell all you have done."

Why We Think Small

There are several reasons why we always think small. Of these many reasons, the first of the three most common ones is that we think we don't deserve what we want. Many of us believe that due to our economic and/or social status, we don't deserve to be successful, whether it be success in our finances, health, or professional or marital life. We accept what we consider to be our destiny, hiding in our small, untidy homes, blaming others for our failures. People blame their neighbourhood, father, mother, sister, brother, country, and even their cat or dog. Who are you blaming?

However, God believes that you deserve to be successful. God wants to bless you. Those impediments you considered impossible barriers are completely irrelevant. God wants to bless all those who serve him.

Psalm 5:12. "Our Lord, you bless those who live right and you shield them with your kindness."

Psalm 40:4. "You bless all of those who trust you, Lord, and refuse to worship idols or follow false gods."