Creating Rituals for Embracing the End of Life
From the Foreward by Thomas Moore, Author, Care of the Soul
It isn't easy to live and die meaningfully in a society that has forgotten its natural religious roots. We think we're smart and sophisticated because we have outgrown the need for ritual and prayer. We have vanquished religion intellectually and are therefore surprised when, faced with death or illness or with the dying of a loved one, we don't have the answers to the basic questions. And so we have to learn all over again, remembering our traditions, if we're lucky enough to have had them, and looking for someone to help deal with mysteries we've ignored.
Megory Anderson covers most of the difficult questions associated with the act of dying and attendant care, and her recommendations are intelligent, inventive, and mercifully humane. She can tell us not to shock a relative by holding a drumming session at the deathbed if the relative wasn't into drumming. The basic principle here is very important: Don't confuse your own needs and enthusiasms (more often, neuroses) with the needs of the dying person. Megory is someone who obviously has a background in ritual and has spent enough years at it, with sufficient attention and skepticism, to know the real thing from the merely sentimental. I always get nervous when people talk about making up rituals, but this book, I'm happy to say, is a solid guide.
I've read quite a few books on dying, and one of the remarkable things that impresses me about them is how they teach me to live with care and appreciation. They are not at all morbid, and they are not for someone else.
They speak to me, as this book will speak to you. You can put its wisdom into practice today. After reading it for today, you can do what I have already done; Place it on a special shelf with a few other books that you can reach for easily when the angel of death passes close. This is one book to keep at hand, because you can be sure that one day you will need it.
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Thoughts on Sacred Dying
"Megory's work with the dying is not at all surprising. Her own journey has given her the grace to venture with others into the mystery."—Madeleine L'Engle, author, A Wrinkle in Time
"If death is part of God's plan for us, there must be a scared dimension to it. This special book helps us find that holiness."—Rabbi Harold Kushner, author, When Bad Things Happen to Good People
"In dying, we pass through a narrow gate at the threshold between the known and the unknown. This passage can be done with meaning and dignity or else done blindly, or with nothing but pain, fear, and regret. This book is an invaluable resource written to guide all of us who will, or should, one day keep vigil at the deathbed of someone we love."—Tom F. Driver, author, Liberating Rites: Understanding the Transformative Power of Ritual
"In this culture we have stripped dying of meaning, often reducing it to a purely medical event. This book helps reclaim death's sacred ground and provides practice tools and rituals to help caregivers use the time of dying and grieving as a path to wholeness."—Frank Ostaseski, founder, Zen Hospice Project
"If you are mortal, read this book. It is moving and beautifully written. More than that, you will know what to do for the passing of a loved one, and you will have the strength to do it."—Stephen Kiesling, executive editor, Spirituality & Health
Megory Anderson is a theologian, author, educator, and liturgist. Her personal encounter with a life-threatening illness led her to work with people who are facing death. Today, she runs a nonprofit Sacred Dying Foundation in San Francisco, and frequently writes on the topic of sacred dying.
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