Toasts & Tributes: A Gentleman's Guide to Personal Correspondence and the Noble Tradition of the Toast - Rilegato

Bridges, John; Curtis, Bryan

Rilegato

ISBN 10: 1401604676 ISBN 13: 9781401604677

Casa editrice: Thomas Nelson Inc, 2012

Riassunto

Toasts and Tributes helps men master these important skills with examples of more than 40 different toasts and 40 different notes. Includes examples of what to say and, perhaps more important, examples of what not to say.

Perhaps he’s been asked to say a few words at his college roommate’s engagement party. Maybe he’s at a family cookout, toasting his sister’s recent law school graduation. Have his parents reached a milestone anniversary that deserves a son’s perspective? Is his professional mentor retiring after decades as a leader in his field?  Throughout his adult life, a man encounters those occasions that depend on his ability to distill the emotions of the moment into a toast, a letter, or perhaps just a few words of gratitude.

John Bridges and Bryan Curtis call on their trademark wit to illustrate the skill of meaningful expression and show how to avoid those clichés, awkward jokes, and rambling speeches that threaten to derail the mood of any occasion. Learn how to keep your “just a few words” as succinct as possible, which rare occasions are suitable for an e-mail, and the proper way to give a toast everyone will remember.

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Informazioni sugli autori

John Bridges, author of How to Be a Gentleman, is also the coauthor, with Bryan Curtis, of seven other volumes in the best-selling GentleManners series. He is a frequent guest on television and radio news programs, always championing gentlemanly behavior in modern society. Bridges has appeared on the Today Show, the Discovery Channel, and CBS Sunday Morning, and has been profiled in People magazine and the New York Times.

Bryan Curtis is an author and the president of Dance Floor Books. He is the author/coauthor and editor of more than 25 books, including My South, My Southern Food, Classic Wisdom for the Good Life, Classic Wisdom for the Professional Life, and the popular GentleManners series.

 

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TOASTS & TRIBUTES

A GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE TO PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE & THE NOBLE TRADITION OF THE TOASTBy JOHN BRIDGES BRYAN CURTIS

Thomas Nelson

Copyright © 2012 John Bridges and Bryan Curtis
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4016-0467-7

Contents

Preface.....................................................................ixA Gentleman Raises His Glass................................................1The Toasts..................................................................13A Gentleman Pens a Note.....................................................73Thank-You Notes.............................................................75Sympathy Notes, Notes of Concern, and Responses to Them.....................93Invitations and Responses to Them...........................................109Notes of Congratulation.....................................................121Notes of Apology and Responses to Them......................................135Index.......................................................................143

Chapter One

A GENTLEMAN RAISES HIS GLASS

A gentleman's life is full of happy occasions, some of them formal, some of them as easy going as a cookout on a Labor Day afternoon. A gentleman knows that on any of these occasions he and his friends may choose to mark the moment by raising a glass, or a bottle, in honor of a special guest or a treasured colleague. The occasion itself may call for a toast for no other reason than to acknowledge the spirit of the moment and the simple pleasure of being among friends. At such times a gentleman should feel most at ease, since he is only being asked to say what is truly in his heart.

It is at such moments, however, that a gentleman often clinches—particularly if the occasion involves the marriage of his own child, the retirement of a beloved colleague, or his own departure from an organization to which he has given much of himself over a long period. He may also find it difficult to put into words his feelings about the marriage of a long-time friend or the union of two friends whose relationship he has helped nurture.

A gentleman's discomfort may be made greater by the sense that a spotlight is shining in his face. In his heart of hearts, however, a gentleman knows that, if he is the one offering the toast, he is not the center of attention. He also knows that he is not expected to wax eloquent or to be quoted in the morning paper. He just says what is in his heart and lets the party proceed.

What follows are some simple guidelines for making toasts, accompanied by some easily adaptable examples. These should not be taken as strict rules that must be followed or as rigid models to be imitated. Rather, they are intended to point the gentleman in the right direction at those times when he chooses to raise his glass and express his respect, admiration, or love for a friend.

A gentleman knows that toasts are intended as tributes and, as such, are a means of celebration.

* * *

A gentleman knows that a toast need not be epic in length. Usually a few well-thought-out words are more effective than an extended tribute would be.

* * *

A gentleman knows that the freshest toast of the evening is the first one offered.

* * *

To make a toast more personal, a gentleman may include reminiscences and anecdotes. However, he makes sure that the entire assembly will appreciate and understand them.

* * *

A gentleman knows that a toast is not a full-fledged testimonial, outlining the honoree's lifetime achievements and accomplishments.

When a gentleman makes a toast to someone present in the room, he makes it directly to that person, not to the table at large.

* * *

A gentleman knows that he need not end his toast by saying, "Here's to Tom," "Here's to Gloria," or "Here's to the bride and groom"—although such expressions are never inappropriate. Simply extending his glass toward the honoree is a sufficient conclusion.

* * *

A gentleman knows that, since toasts are intended for celebratory occasions, they require at least moderately formal glassware.

* * *

A gentleman knows that, beer steins excepted, he may not toast with anything resembling a coffee cup.

A gentleman does not take it upon himself to deliver a toast at a breakfast meeting.

* * *

If a gentleman is asked to deliver a toast at a breakfast meeting, or any meeting before noon, he declines by simply saying, "I'd really prefer not to."

* * *

If a gentleman is pressed to deliver a toast at an inappropriate moment, he stands his ground, saying, "No. I'd really prefer you'd ask somebody else to do that. I'm not comfortable making a toast at this time."

* * *

A gentleman never uses a toast to ridicule or embarrass a friend. Neither does he use a toast as a sentimental excuse to bring a friend or coworker to tears.

* * *

A gentleman knows that he must stand to deliver a toast, except when the event is taking place in a crowded public restaurant.

Even in a crowded public restaurant, a gentleman must at least lean forward toward the others at the table before delivering a toast.

* * *

When a gentleman is delivering a toast to his host or the evening's honoree, he raises his glass to that person and waits for other guests at the table to lift their glasses before he begins his toast. When he has finished delivering the toast, he may wish to share in the clinking of glasses by touching his own glass against that of another guest near him. Once this activity has subsided, he feels free to take a sip from his own glass.

* * *

Before delivering a toast, a gentleman waits until everyone at his table has at least some wine (or some other liquid) in his or her glass.

A gentleman never initiates a toast until the glasses of all the ladies at his table have been filled.

* * *

After a toast has been delivered, each guest takes a sip from his or her glass.

* * *

Knowing that further toasts are likely to follow, a gentleman does not drain his glass after the first tribute has been given.

* * *

If possible, a gentleman disdains the use of note cards when delivering a toast. Not only are the cards distracting to him and to his listeners, but they may also require the awkward juggling of glassware and cardstock.

A gentleman understands that a toast is a public—or at the very least, a semi-public—gesture. He understands that it is most likely inappropriate at a tête-à-tête dinner. If he attempts such a thing, he runs the risk of asking his dinner partner to respond in kind, which boils down to begging for a compliment—pretty much the same thing as asking a friend to say thank you for a thank-you note. Neither of those activities is in any way attractive or socially acceptable.

* * *

If a gentleman feels that he must propose a toast at a tête-à-tête dinner, he says nothing more than "Here's to us" or "Here's to our friendship."

* * *

A gentleman knows that when he is asked to make a toast he does not seize the opportunity to do stand-up comedy—even if he is by profession a stand-up comic.

When making a toast, a gentleman keeps to the point and remembers that he is on the clock.

* * *

A gentleman does not take it upon himself to deliver the opening toast unless he is the host of the celebration or has been asked to do so by the host or master of ceremonies.

* * *

When he is one of a number of scheduled toast-givers, a gentleman does not monopolize the microphone.

* * *

If in a series of toasts or tributes, a gentleman hears a story he was going to tell or a toast he was going to make, he does not repeat it. He thinks quickly on his feet and composes a new toast if he is capable of doing so. Otherwise, he makes a simple congratulatory toast, knowing he will have other moments to share his feelings with the honoree.

A gentleman knows that even at a bachelor party a toast is intended to be a tribute, not an embarrassment.

* * *

In the spirit of fun, a best man may include ribald remarks in his toast at the bachelor party, but at the rehearsal dinner or wedding reception, he keeps it clean, kindhearted, and concise.

* * *

Considering the likely emotional impact of the moment, a father of the bride is especially wise to plan his toast carefully, keeping it brief and, to the best of his abilities, convivial.

* * *

A gentleman knows that a well-planned or well-phrased toast should never last longer than sixty seconds.

A gentleman knows that, even in the most celebratory of circumstances, a toast merely underscores the reason for the celebration and is not the celebration itself.

Chapter Two

THE TOASTS

A Toast from the Father of the Bride

"Here's to you, Jack. Maddie has been, and always will be, my treasure. I know you will treasure her too. As her father, I have always loved her and always will. Now, as a friend, I pass that same love along to you."

A Gentleman Does Not Say:

"Here's to you, Jack. If you hurt my little girl, I'll kill you."

A Toast from the Father of the Groom

"Madeline, even when Jack was a little kid, he had a gift for seeking out the best of everything. I remember when we bought his first catcher's mitt. Joanie and I watched while he tried on every single mitt on the wall at Gillespie's Team Sports, searching until he found just the one he wanted. He chose it not only because it was a beautiful mitt but also because, to his way of thinking, it was the one that fit him best, the one he was going to cherish for a lifetime. He's still got that gift for finding the best of everything, and that's what he's found in you.

"Joanie and I welcome you to our family as if you had always been there. Please know you have all our love."

A Gentleman Does Not Say:

"Madeline, I hope you have more luck keeping him in line than I did."

A Toast from the Best Man

"Maddie and Jack, as I watched you exchange your rings during the ceremony, I teared up a little bit. Here was my best friend finally making the commitment to act like a grown-up. But I have to say I was a little envious as well because he was making that commitment to a woman I have come to love and cherish almost as much as if we, too, had played Little League together.

"I am deeply honored to be a part of this day. I wish you endless days like today, every one of them filled with joy."

A Gentleman Does Not Say:

"Jack, who am I going to chase hotties with now that you're off the market?"

A Toast Honoring a Couple Who Have Renewed Their Marriage Vows

"Ted and Sue, today is about two special people I am fortunate to call my friends. I was not a part of your lives twenty-five years ago when you first said, 'I do.' However, as I have gotten to know both of you, I can say that your continued love and commitment to each other is not only reassuring, but it is also inspiring to those of us who are lucky enough to be a part of your lives.

"Here's to Ted and Sue and a wonderful evening."

A Gentleman Does Not Say:

"Ted, you know buddy, you're making the rest of us look bad. It was hard enough for me to do this once. And here you have to go ahead and say 'I do' again."

A Toast Honoring Friends Who Have Been Married Before

"Rachel and Brad, you are people of joy, you are people of wisdom, you are people who know how to value every minute of life. As the two of you come together, joining your families into one great, noisy brood, a whole new family is being formed.

"Thank you for including us in this exciting day."

A Gentleman Does Not Say:

"Rachel, I'm glad you finally came along. If I'd had to meet one more of Brad's girlfriends, I would have hung myself."

The Tradition of the Toast

No one really knows how the traditions of toasting and clinking glasses actually began—or for that matter how the word "toast" came to refer to raising a glass in celebration or tribute—but there are a few popular theories.

The ancient Greeks occasionally liked to settle business disputes by dribbling a little poison in the punch. offering a toast to good health while raising glasses was considered a gesture of good faith, not to mention that there was less risk of being poisoned if all diners were obliged to sip from their own glasses at the same time. Another theory is that the clinking of glasses acted as a deterrent: a victim's tainted beverage could slosh into the glass of the poisoner.

The term "toast" most likely comes from the ancient Romans, who had the habit of putting burnt bread into their wine. Some believe this was to soften the bread, while others say it was to remove the contaminants from impure wine—thus leading to the custom of drinking to one another's health.

A Clink, Not a Crash

a gentleman would never, of course, slam his champagne flute—or his wine goblet, old-fashioned glass, or iced-tea glass—against his partner's glass so smartly as to cause a shattering collision. he simply touches the rim of his glass against the side of the glass most readily offered him. if breakage occurs, he simply asks for a new glass, since the fault clearly is not his own.

A Toast upon a Milestone Anniversary for a Gentleman's Parents

"Mom and Dad, this is a great party, but it still isn't great enough to demonstrate how much we love the two of you and how grateful we are for all your patience, guidance, and support. You'll notice that I didn't mention your advice since, as you know, most of the time we never took it. But now we know that almost all of the time—except for that time when you wouldn't let me go to Chicago—you were right. In fact, I guess I'd even have to say you were right about Chicago.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from TOASTS & TRIBUTESby JOHN BRIDGES BRYAN CURTIS Copyright © 2012 by John Bridges and Bryan Curtis. Excerpted by permission of Thomas Nelson. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Dettagli dell?edizione

• Editore: Thomas Nelson Inc
• Data di pubblicazione: 2012
• Lingua: Inglese
• ISBN 10: 1401604676
• ISBN 13: 9781401604677
• Rilegatura: Copertina rigida
• Numero di pagine: 149
• Contatto del produttore: non disponibile