January

National Mentoring Month

January 1

Affirmation: Today I will think joyous, balanced, and connected thoughts.

Today is the first day of Always Balanced and Connected. Am I always balanced and connected? Honestly, no. I do, however, strive to balance my emotions, thoughts, and feelings and stay connected to the positive, loving people, places, and things in my life that work for my good.

I maintain balance as much as possible each day, because I have to. We all have to. When our lives are out of balance, we suffer.

You may not be aware that your life is out of balance. You may not even realize why you're suffering. The truth is, when something in your life isn't where it needs it to be, your thoughts, feelings, and actions are no longer authentic. You're not being true to yourself.

I practice balance in my life, because I have no alternative. I experience imbalance in my life from time to time, and it doesn't work for me.

I have no easy answers for staying in the moment and doing my best. I do, however, have knowledge of and appreciation for those who find themselves feeling not quite right; unable to be the person they know they really are.

Knowing yourself and being truly honest aren't easy tasks. They take deep self-exploration, the desire to let go of what's not working, and faith in yourself, others, and the world around you. They take trust, knowledge, openness, and even a willingness to fail.

January 2

Affirmation: Today I will prepare for what I want to do next.

Living your life in the present is the key to happiness. Strive to be happy with what you have now and thankful that you've been blessed. Try not to look back, and try not to project into the future. Stay in the moment. Take everything one day at a time. "Bloom where you're planted" (Mary Engelbreit).

But what about your dreams, goals, and aspirations? What about the triumphs and mistakes you've made in the past? Don't they count? Learn from your past, but don't get stuck in it. Plan for the future, but don't live for it.

Be prepared, and be ambitious. Know what's required, and be certain to have at your disposal what it takes to get to where you want to be. Goals and objectives are the keys to success. What is it that you want to do, and what do you have to do to get there?

When you live your life your way, you live an authentic life, a life designed specifically for you. Give yourself time, and be patient while working, changing, and growing. Don't expect progress to just show up, and don't think that your situation will always be the same.

Have faith that the future holds many hopes, dreams, and possibilities for you. Regret means feeling sad, angry, or disappointed. Don't let that be an option. Go forward in your life. Take calculated risks. This is your year to shine.

January 3

Affirmation: Today I will recognize the conformity in my life.

It takes courage to go against popular belief. It takes courage to stand up for equality or speak up against violence. It takes courage to speak your truth when it's not socially acceptable to do so.

You conform in more ways than you realize. Cowardice in conformity is when you do what's expected of you even though it goes against what you hold sacred. Conformity is at its peak when you follow along, doing what's expected of you simply because that's the way it's always been.

Be aware of what's important to you personally. Always be true to your own values and passions. Know your limitations, and know when you're willing to expand your boundaries. Be authentic, and live out loud. Future generations are counting on you.

January 4

Affirmation: Today I will acknowledge that I often say and do things I think others want me to.

Conflicts, confusion, and misunderstandings are unnecessary when you're true to yourself. When you do or say what other people want or expect you to, you don't represent what's true and real about yourself.

When you act the way you think people want you to act, you become a people pleaser. To be a true people pleaser, you have to try to please everyone all the time. If you have a modicum of intelligence, you know this isn't possible. But to a true people pleaser, it's vital.

The need to be liked and loved is a coping mechanism. Pleasing people and making them happy speaks to the need to have everyone like you. It means you care about what others think of you. It's a way of life for many. Needing everyone to like you is a means of suppressing fear, pain, and anxiety. If anyone really knew me, they wouldn't like me. It's a quest to never disappoint, upset, or anger anyone at all costs.

Does this ring true for you or someone you love? The goal of a people pleaser is to never, under any circumstances, give anyone cause to not like you. Not only is it impossible for everyone to like you, it's inauthentic and emotionally draining.

The need to please everyone causes anger, resentment, and inner turmoil. You're not bringing to life anything that's uniquely you. Your own thoughts and likes are suppressed and never see the light of day. What you were put on this planet to accomplish or contribute may never manifest. You end up living a less-than-authentic life. You end up living someone else's life. Or worse, you end up living everybody else's life, whether it's good or bad.

January 5

Affirmation: Today I will take the helpful ideas of others to heart for my own good.

Do you reject or have you given up on anything that has to do with religion, spirituality, or energy outside yourself? Have you been jaded by a personal or family history with your faith? Is there a part of you that you're unable or unwilling to get in touch with — your spirit or your soul perhaps?

Some people may mistakenly think that faith or spirituality is about religion, but faith allows you to believe that things will work out without your having to control everything. Let go and surrender to a will greater than yourself. Practicing your faith encourages and teaches you how to be the best person you can be.

Live simply and with your best intention for yourself and others. That's living spiritually. That's living a faith-based life — living a life where love outweighs hatred. There's no need to worry. Life is filled with possibilities. Be open-minded and openhearted.

January 6

Affirmation: Today I will replace all negative thoughts with a different, more enlightened viewpoint.

How easy is it for you to think badly about someone? How easy is it to be negative when you've been hurt over and over again? Do you choose to be unhappy because being happy is just too much work? When I ask a child, "Is it easier to act badly or to act well?" he or she inevitably responds, "It's easier to act well!"

You know that with wisdom and experience, those sentiments can change, and it becomes much easier to act badly at times. In fact, it's hard to act well.

We all act poorly to differing degrees. Saying that someone is stupid is acting badly. Eating an entire bag of cookies is a poor choice. Acting badly is choosing to do wrong and failing to do right.

Notice I say "acting" badly. You're not bad; the choices you make are bad.

It's easy to put people down, judge them, or even bully them, because, in the short run, you feel better about yourself. It's easy to take something that doesn't belong to you at work, because no one will know and because they won't miss it anyway. It's easy to be unfaithful, because you're not loved at home.

Maintaining balance is doing what you know to be in your own best interest and in the interest of those you care about. Balance — not perfection or failure — is the goal.

Making strong, healthy choices that work for you is the best possible course of action. Giving up lying, cheating, and being negative at whatever level, as often as possible, is the driving force to becoming the best person you can be.

We all do things that either work or don't work for us in the moment. You know what you must start doing and stop doing to realize your own good choices and decisions in life. Give up the bad in your life, and you'll feel such a strong release and a burden will be lifted. Well done!

January 7

Affirmation: Today I will think in a loving, kind, and charitable way.

Do you want to think of yourself as helpful or smart? Do you want to think of yourself as an amazing caretaker or a person who's trustworthy? The simplicity of "you are what you think" is the best. It's a no-brainer!

The problem with wisdom is that the more basic the concept, the more difficult it can be to comprehend. Think about what's complicated in your life. Give up 50 percent of the nonessentials in your life, and therein lies your bliss.

The problem is that you're taught to try to accomplish more, obtain more, gather more, and be more. Try letting go.Pare down your stuff; get rid of the physical and emotional clutter in your life. Strive to be good enough instead of the best, and live simply. The less you have, the less you have to worry about and take care of. Perhaps less can be better.

January 8

Affirmation: I have immeasurable potential.

As we begin a new year, many of us set out to change unwanted behaviors. Give up a sugar addiction, get to the gym, and quit smoking are the most popular New Year's resolutions. At any time throughout the year, what we really need to do is focus on what we want to start doing. Set goals, prioritize those goals, and figure out the necessary steps to obtain our goals. Overeating and smoking are distractions some use to make themselves feel better in the moment. Some overeat because of feelings of inadequacy or loneliness. Some continue to use nicotine for fear of not being able to break the addiction. When we change our circumstances to meet our new goals and accomplishments and to be where we want to be, we no longer need to rely on vices to give ourselves a temporary fix.

Every beginning is a new opportunity to start fresh. I resolve daily to be smarter, to be kinder, to be more loving, and to live my life authentically.

January 9

Affirmation: Today I will go through the day with a beginner's mind-set.

Throughout our lives we strive to be proficient in everything we do. We want to excel. We want to be on top. However, in order to get there, we must start at the very beginning. There are no shortcuts to success. There is no jumping ahead in line. There is no buying our way to the top.

Some people would like to think that's a reality, but in the true greatness of sports, business, and the arts, it is those who started at the beginning, with a beginner's mind-set, who truly master their craft. Oftentimes you see people who have raw talent and can belt out an aria with little to no effort. This is rare. People rarely pick up a thought or idea and master it instantaneously. When faced with a new idea or challenge, some of us pass it by or do not go for it because of insecurities or fear of embarrassment. You don't want to admit to it, or you don't want others to see you as a beginner. It is much better to see a beginner at the gym than a person who has mastered the art of sitting on the couch. Leave your ego at the door, and go for that tap-dancing class or Surfing 101. At some point, you will go from a beginner's mind-set to mastery.

January 10

Affirmation: Today I will make new mistakes.

Be in the moment. Yesterday's gone, and tomorrow is not here. All you have is today. Being in the moment is living authentically. When you look back on the choices you've made in the past, it's common to obsess about all the things you've done wrong. Do you have unfinished business with a friend, colleague, or family member? Do you want a second chance to say or do things differently? What you did in the past has made you the person you are — a stronger person than you may think.

Looking back, were there also good times? Were there times of reward and achievement, celebration and happiness? The good times are there to guide you through troubled waters.

When looking back over your life, ask yourself, "What was my intention at the time?" In moments of solitude, do you regurgitate, reinvent, and tend to remember memories as good or bad?

Trying to do better next time is the best way to learn from your past. Memories hold a strong, tight grip at times and can have a power over you if you let them. However, your past can make you stronger in your words, deeds, and thoughts. When you look back, give yourself the freedom to do so with a loving mind and open heart. When you plan your future, do it with happiness and joy. Just recognize that you will make new mistakes.

January 11

Affirmation: Today I will let a lot go.

Looking through fashion magazines can lead to feelings of envy and jealousy. Beautiful houses, beautiful models, big boats, hundreds of articles on ways to improve your swing in every issue of Golf Digest — everything in the media is geared toward how you can be better, how you can improve, and how you can be perfect. Perfection is a disease, however. Why is it so important to be perfect? Wanting to be the best could be a result of childhood. The need to be perfect may be self-propelled; however a person comes to being a perfectionist, rest assured that, contrary to popular belief, it's not a healthy obsession.

True and honest perfection is being whole and complete, while being able to make mistakes and learn from them. It's being comfortable with who, what, where, and why you are who you are now. However, comfortable does not have to be complacent. The key to balance is acknowledging your flaws and shortcomings and being open to change. There is improvement to be made for everyone, but the end goal is not to be the biggest, brightest, richest, and most successful at all costs. Being humble yet proud of yourself and your achievements can be more satisfying in the long run.

Striving for perfection in a destructive way, can promote a critical heart. Having someone in your life that always wants you to be something different from who you are has the potential to develop into sheer misery. It can break down self-esteem and erode any sense of mastery.

What is healthy and promotes joy, kindness, and understanding is taking a complete inventory of you. Look at what is possible. Look at what can be different, what you know you would like to work on and do for you, not for anyone else. Put away the magazines for a while, and live your life — warts and all! Look past the imperfections, and focus on what is possible.

January 12

Affirmation: Today I will be fully present.

Do you feel like yourself most days? Do you speak your truth, or do you give only partially of who you really are? Every day is a new opportunity to be who you are truly meant to be. Are you funny yet afraid to show your humorous side? Are you romantic but keep that side to yourself, thinking it's uncomfortable for you to show affection or act romantically? Do you have unanswered questions that you are afraid to ask, for fear of embarrassment or rejection?

Society has a strong hold on us. It wants us to act a certain way, to fit a certain type, to fit in. If you watch others while you could be a participant, you are not truly living the life you were meant to live. True joy and happiness can be passing you by, and this is not what the creator has in mind for you. God wants you to seize the moment. When you feel like singing, turn up the volume and belt it out. This does not mean you can do whatever you want to do anytime or anywhere.

Here's when the gift of balance comes into play. Understanding what's in your best interest and in the interest of those who care about you is acting out of love. If you're going to hurt or embarrass someone with your thoughts, deeds, or actions, stop, and take a moment to reconsider. If you come from a loving place, where you can bring out your talents, knowledge, and passion, take every opportunity to soar.