IS AMERICA FALLING APART?
What Surprised Me about the United StatesBy MAHNAZ B. CONSOLVERiUniverse, Inc.
Copyright © 2010 Mahnaz B. Consolver
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4502-3268-5 Chapter One
WHAT SURPRISED ME ABOUT THE UNITED STATES? THE AIRPORT
As soon as the plane landed at John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York, I honestly thought I had landed on another planet. I became so confused and even dizzy because so many things caught my attention at once. The airport was humongous, and it had a very shiny and clean floor. There were people in beautiful and colorful clothes, different kinds of people from all over the world in one place. There were all kinds of food and restaurants and many different kinds of stores. People were very well-dressed and walked quickly, with their heads up and their shoulders straight.
I was shocked and deeply involved in my observations-this did look like my magical dreamland, I thought. The second thing that caught my attention strongly was when I went to use the bathroom.
THE BATHROOMS
Let me first tell you about the bathrooms that I used for almost eighteen years before I came to the United States. The bathrooms in Iran come in different shapes and sizes, some very fancy and some simple, but the toilet is a hole dug in the ground that you sit on in a squat position very low to the ground; that is how you do your business. In some houses there are also toilet seats just like here; we call them toilet farangie in Iran.
As a matter of fact, we did have a toilet farangie in my dad's house, but the door to that bathroom was always locked unless we had guests over-it was only for guests' use. I never used that toilet farangie while I was living at home. There were also two Iranian-style bathrooms in my dad's house: one was inside the building and one outside in the yard.
In emergency cases, such as if we were sick or if it were night, we were allowed to use the one inside the building; other than that, we were supposed to use the one in the yard. My dad was very sensitive to the smell, and I think that was the reason for him to also build one in the yard. As long as my dad wasn't home, I used the inside bathroom. By the time he was home, it was dark and I had an excuse not to go to the yard bathroom. I never liked the outside bathroom, and it was not as fancy as the one that was inside.
Anyway, as soon as I stepped in the airport bathroom, I was shocked and forgot why I was there. The good smell, the huge mirrors, the brightness, the cleanliness, and the size of the bathroom amazed me. The other thing that caught my attention was that nobody was looking at me. For a moment I thought I was invisible and they did not see me; but when I paid closer attention, I realized they weren't looking at each other either.
I was amazed and stood in a corner and stared at the women. Some were fixing their hair, some were redoing their makeup, and some were washing their hands and refreshing themselves. For a while I just stood there and observed the ladies coming and going out of the bathroom. Believe me, every single move they made was surprising to me.
Women were doing personal things in the bathroom in front of each other like nobody was watching them. Everything they were doing was normal to them but not to me; all the things they were doing I had learned that I need to do in private-such as farting, putting makeup on, raising their skirts in order to fix their stockings, and blowing their noses. When I noticed a lady reach under her breasts and raise them a little to be in a better and higher position, I was so put to shame that I placed my hands on my face to cover my eyes and pretended I did not see her. But I kept peeking at her through the open spaces of my fingers.
I did not even know how to use the hand blower to dry my hands or, in some bathrooms, how to get the paper towels out of their place. I had to learn everything about the bathrooms in the United States.
PEOPLE SMILE AT EACH OTHER
The most pleasant experience was that people greet one another, even though they do not know each other. I still can recall the beautiful smiley face of the woman who said hi to me thirty years ago when for the first time I came to the United States. How did she know me? I asked myself.
I realized that wonderful people light up their faces and also the faces of others with beautiful smiles. I realized American people have an easy but more effective language to communicate in, the language of love (smile), and that is how they grow their love to a greater level for their family, friends, and each other.
I learned from these people that a happy face is free therapy for me and the others around me. It costs nothing, yet it speaks out from somebody's beautiful and warm heart. Americans know they do not need to express their love, care, and kindness to others by words-their smiles and actions say it all.
THEY ARGUE BUT ARE STILL FRIENDS
I was pleasantly surprised when I witnessed people in America sometimes argue very harshly, but at the end, they shake hands and remain friends. As time went on, I noticed they do not attack each other in the argument; instead, they attack and argue each other's idea. That was a sweet and exciting experience for me.
The more years I lived in the United States, the more I became familiar with life in America.
THE WAY AMERICANS DRIVE
It was a nice surprise to see most drivers following driving laws. I was amazed at the police power in America, which has a huge impact on the way people drive. But another reason is the people themselves paying attention and obeying the driving laws. There were times I witnessed the traffic lights were out of order, but people were their own police and followed the rules step-by-step with no police around-those moments were very pleasant and sweet for me.
On the other hand, there were also unpleasant moments of driving in America. I am completely against drivers who dial numbers and talk on their cell phones while driving. I became even sadder when I realized some people text while driving. Driving and texting increase the chance of a crash twenty-six times over. People who are texting while driving routinely take their eyes off the road for five seconds. A lot might happen during these five seconds.
I believe texting and driving is at least as bad as drunk driving-it might even be worse. I always believed that to drive safely, we need to fully engage our brains and attention to the road and other innocent drivers. I become very worried when I see a teenage girl riding a bike and talking on the cell phone. Are we honestly so short of time that we need to do lots of other things behind the wheel and put our lives and the lives of others in danger?
I noticed that people often do other things while driving. I have seen many set their dogs on their laps, facing the steering wheel. What if the dog's legs get stuck in the wheel? Some eat and drink while they are driving. Some get deeply involved and engage in conversation with others in the car. Some get distracted by their kids. I have even seen some yell and scream at their kids. Some dance with the music in their car, and some play very loud music that won't let them hear the siren of an ambulance or a fire truck that is approaching. I have seen people kiss each other while driving. I have seen some change the CD or tape in their car while driving. Well, for your information, you can do all these things before you start the car. This might well save some lives.
On the other hand, getting a driver's license is very easy for teenagers. The driving age in the United States really surprised me. Having such a low driving age leads some teenagers to use the car as a toy and a source of fun, while they put their lives and the lives of others in danger. I believe the driving age should be higher. Also, more practice hours should be required, and more responsibility should be demanded of teenagers. All people must feel a hundred percent responsible when they get behind those wheels.
DRINKING AND DRIVING
What is the difference between somebody killing a person out on the streets or in a bar versus a person who drives drunk and kills somebody? The bar or street killer goes to jail for maybe forty years or more, but the drunk driver who kills somebody usually does not go to jail. Even if he or she does go to jail, it is usually for a very short time.
The second difference is that the first killer put one person's life in danger, but a drunk driver put his own life and the lives of many innocent people and children in danger. If you were the judge, which one deserves more punishment? I am not a lawmaker, but somewhere something does not make sense about the drinking and driving laws. Isn't the priority of government supposed to be the safety of the community?
I was not sad to find out about the huge numbers of drunk drivers-I was mad. News reports stated that one hundred fifty-nine thousand innocent lives had been taken in the last decade due to selfish drunk drivers. Fifteen hundred died in California alone in 2008. Think about it for a moment: fifteen hundred got killed just because selfish, irresponsible drunks chose not to call a cab or a friend when they were drunk. Shameful, isn't it? These fifteen hundred innocent people were somebody's father or mother, they were somebody's sister or brother, they were somebody's daughter or son, they were somebody's best friend-so your selfish drunk driver not only killed those fifteen hundred innocent people but also destroyed their families. What a shame!
Three in ten Americans drive with alcohol in their blood, according to news reports. Is the criminal justice system failing to enforce the laws against drunk drivers? The average person that is convicted of DUI has already been driving under the influence of alcohol eighty-seven times before getting arrested for DUI Guess what. If the law is not harsh enough against drunk drivers, the same driver will put people's lives in danger eighty-seven more times before he or she gets the second DUI What a huge risk the lawmakers are taking, risking innocent people's lives.
Even though I am an outsider and not familiar with the laws, I know enough to say something is wrong with the laws about driving drunk. If the law was harsh enough, it would stop or decrease this crime. We need more aggressive laws to get the attention of drunk drivers and get them off the streets for good.
Let's do something about it and save the lives of innocent citizens of great America. Do not treat a drunk driver as a sick person. They are not sick. Their act is evil, and they should be considered as criminals. How can someone put people's lives in danger and not be considered a criminal?
Let me have a straight talk with you, selfish alcoholic. You have given up your life, your reputation, your dignity, your honesty, your family, your mind, your body, your friends, and your future just to be out of this world for a while. Just because you are weak and can't face your problems, just because in your thoughts this is the only way to solve your problems!
Let me tell you, this is just a big problem adding to the small ones you already have. Be a real human being and act like a real one; step up and fix your biggest problem. When you are abusing your money and your own body, how can you care about others? Protecting yourself and others requires good decisions. How can you make honest decisions when you use alcohol or drugs? You are nothing but a selfish criminal!
CHILDREN WORK HARD, BUT SOME HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE OF HOW TO SPEND THEIR MONEY
Do not buy it if you don't need it, don't buy a new one if the old one is still usable, and don't buy an expensive one when you can search for a lower-priced one. Teach these lessons to your children. Make sure they have control of their money in a smart way; they must not let the items have control of their hard-earned money. Teach them to think before they spend. Do they really need the item, or do they just want it? These are the important steps we need to teach our kids from an early age.
I was very happy and surprised to see lots of work opportunities for teenagers available in restaurants, gas stations, shopping malls, sports centers, grocery stores, and other places. There are fantastic opportunities for teens to work in this country. Such opportunity doesn't exist in most other countries. But do teens honestly know how to spend their hard-earned money?
Working generally keeps kids away from trouble, but if they don't know how to spend their money, this money might lead them to trouble. I have seen many teenagers work very hard for their money, but they often don't appreciate the value of the honest money they make, and some spend it on drugs.
I did research at work for many years to see if the boys are smarter about spending and saving their money or the girls. I concluded girls are smarter about their money. I have seen some teen boys make their money in difficult ways, but then spend it against themselves, against their health and minds to buy and use drugs. They are so young; some do not even know these dangerous little pills they are buying with their honest pennies can take so much away from them.
They do not know these drugs can cost them their lives, their families, their hard-earned money, their reputation, their friends, and a lot more. It is so sad to see some teens in America work so hard and spend so unwisely. We as parents need to teach them from an early age how to save and spend their money wisely by giving them weekly money and keeping track of it, making sure to reward them when they are good with their saving and spending.
I remember I was not good with spending my weekly money and keeping the money in a piggy bank. My mom came up with another idea. She became my bank and kept my money. She even made her own checks and gave them to me; whenever I needed money, I would write a check and withdraw money from my mom's bank. She even made me write on the corner of the check what the purpose was of writing that check. At the beginning, she kept track of my spending: Why? How? Where? These were the questions that I couldn't leave without answering.
My mom's idea was so fun; it was like playing a game. That fun little game had a huge impact on my financial life for years to come. After a while I was on my own, and I still kept track of my money very well. We as parents are the key for everything; that's the purpose of parents-to teach our children the best possible way to fly.
It's easier to educate our children about saving and spending their money when they are very young-much easier than what they go through later in life, always being in debt. Have love, time, and respect for your children. Kids are great. We as parents need to be great to raise them better. Teach your children to be respectful toward their money and love their body. If they respect their money and love their body, they won't spend their hard-earned money on drugs.
WASTING TOO MUCH
This is a blessed land, very beautiful, very green with lots of rain most of the time, altogether a very blessed and beautiful country. Americans are blessed in many ways, but this doesn't mean they should waste in many ways. Don't forget there is an end to everything that exists except God. No matter how blessed you are, if you spend and waste more than you need to, you will be broke sooner or later.
This is one of the saddest experiences I had in America. Some people in this blessed land waste too much-and worse than that, their children are becoming just like them. Some are food wasters, some are money wasters, and some are time wasters. It's never too late to learn and teach. If you as a parent don't know things in life, learn! That's the only way lives get better and easier for you, for your children, and for the next generation to come.
Every day I try to learn something new about life. That keeps me alert, sharp, and happy. I am also able to deal with problems more easily and tell others how to deal with life too. We are here on this earth, aren't we? We all need to survive in this world, don't we? We don't just live for ourselves; we live for other people and for future generations. Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, but he could never make a phone call to his family because his wife and daughter were both deaf. He lived to help future generations. Every little help in any way possible that we can provide for the future counts, doesn't it?
Do not waste, please. Do not waste God's blessings; instead, appreciate his gifts. Does not waste water, do not waste food, and do not waste electricity. Do not waste gas, clothes, school supplies, time, or anything else.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from IS AMERICA FALLING APART?by MAHNAZ B. CONSOLVER Copyright © 2010 by Mahnaz B. Consolver. Excerpted by permission.
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