CHAPTER 1
Who Is the Big You?
You are about to receive a gift.
It is the greatest gift you can ever receive
... and You are giving it to yourself!
This gift is a message, one that you have been yearning for your whole life. One that holds more value for you than any worldly treasure.
You hid it from yourself a long time ago and now it is the time to reclaim it ...
... to reclaim. ... Yourself.
... You are giving Yourself back to yourself!
So, who is this You?
Who would have given you such a gift to unwrap?
The Who I am referring to is the grander You, the totality of You, the All of You!
The You that is both timeless and eternal.
The You that is a collective of everyone: seemingly divided yet ultimately united.
The You that is so filled with love that it created this separation so that you may grow to know and love every aspect of yourself.
Put simply ...
... the BIG YOU
To gain a sense of what I am talking about, pause for a second, take a deep breath in fill your lungs and close your eyes. Bring your attention to your heart beating within your chest, allow your mind to clear and you will notice a stillness, a presence in quiet observation inside you, this is who I am talking about.
This presence sits within us all and when we are connected to it, we are totally at peace. In communion with the Big You we are released from the confines of time and join with the totality, where we are all one. All physical forms and mental thoughts are absent, and in this quiet consciousness, we pulsate with unlimited energy and eternal awareness.
The science of Quantum Physics has discovered that this energy is present everywhere as waveforms of infinite potential, only collapsing into a particle of reality when we focus on one aspect of it. Thus we are defining ourselves by our own observation. We acknowledge the existence of who we are by observing ourselves separate from the whole, and yet since our perspective is constantly changing, so are we!
Every moment we are reborn to the infinity of our being, and like the mythical Phoenix, we arise from the ashes of our past, redefined by every thought, feeling and whisper from within. Like a tornado, we are constantly in flux, a vortex of spiraling creation and yet the Big You is somehow unmoved. It is the quiet eye of the storm, calmly watching the whirling winds of our shifting personality, always in awe and joyfully entertained.
We are souls looking into the world as a human being, or energy looking at ever-changing matter, or potential looking at form. Yet just like the hub of the wheel is the master of all the spokes, at the center of us all is the very same being watching out from each of our eyes. A veritable You-nification, an indivisible, perfect completeness that encompasses all and yet dances in infinite variety through each of our footsteps.
One might use words such as energy, spirit, or soul. Consciousness, presence, or awareness. Freedom, Love ... or GOD!
They all share the same meaning.
They are all pointing to the same being: You!
... the Grander You!
... the Big You!
You are that oneness. You are that peace. You are what you came from, and just like the tree whose high bows sway gracefully in the breeze while its roots are always firmly held in the soil, you can dig into the rich earth of your being and find the origin of Yourself quietly smiling back at you!
CHAPTER 2
What is Love?
"Love is the force that pulls each of us to reunite with all our other selves, which we perceive as separate from us. It is an interweaving matrix of energy connecting all aspects of the You-nification, the glue that holds together the totality of existence."
The Big You is the You-nification, blissfully giving itself to this process without judgment or refrain. All attraction is designed so that by the coming together of two aspects of our self, through the magnetic force of love, we get to experience more of who we really are. This is our ultimate wish, our sole desire, to know our infinite self utterly and the fulfillment of this is the action of love.
Every interaction is interpreted through the perspective of the individuals involved. These interpretations we call emotions and we define them based on how they impact us. Whether they serve or hinder us, defines whether we embrace or resist the connection, yet I am suggesting that our relationships are always serving us.
The underlying web of existence is Love, yet to see this for ourselves we have to shift our own perspective to a grander viewpoint. Rising above each external judgment through the gift of forgiveness, our resistance drops and it slowly becomes apparent that the basis for all relationship is love.
So, despite the fact that the small you's perspective can be interpreted in many ways, there never was a moment when You, the Big You, the complete You, the all seeing You, was or could have been anything other than loving toward yourself — giving toward yourself, compassionate and gracious toward yourself; and ultimately, unquestionably devoted to yourself.
In the ancient traditions of the Far East, love is only spoken of in terms of what it is not, as it is in acknowledging the absence of something, that one can more easily see what it is and since Love is All there is, it holds all definitions within it. This is similar to white light that has all the colors of the spectrum and when viewed whole and complete, no separate color can be discerned while all are contained within it.
By defining anything, we are singling it out for specific attention, and as soon as we do that we lose the perspective of the whole, which by its nature is indefinable. Each aspect holds a unique perspective of the whole and yet the whole itself encompasses all without definition.
When traveling in India, I was introduced to the book "You Are That" by Sri Nisargadata. This late Indian guru, whose teachings affected my life profoundly, had one central point "Neti, Neti," these Sanskrit words translate as "Not this, Not That." Meaning that words fail to express what the divine All really is, but by stating what it is not, we are given signposts to what it may be. However the final leap is only obtainable by our feelings or intuition, not our minds.
Love moves beyond all our attempts at containing it in thought or theory, so all we can do is state the absence of its limitations. It has no beginning and no end; No opposite or limit; No doubt or fear.
Now, I fully understand that at times the small you can mistakenly perceive these constraints; however, they are never truly there, for:
Love cannot be ignorant, love is wise.
Love cannot be superior, love is equality.
Love cannot be conditioned, love is free.
Love cannot condemn, love exalts.
Love cannot judge, love is innocence.
Love cannot require anything, love is whole.
Love cannot lack, love is abundant.
Love cannot separate, love is unity.
Love cannot fail, love succeeds.
Love cannot need, love is fulfilled.
... Now replace the word "love" with "I":
I cannot be ignorant, I am wise
I cannot be superior, I am equal.
I cannot be conditioned, I am free.
I cannot be condemned, I am exalted.
I cannot be judged, I am innocent.
I cannot require anything, I am whole.
I cannot lack, I am abundant.
I cannot separate, I am unity.
I cannot fail, I succeed.
I cannot need, I am fulfilled.
In reading this you may begin to get a feeling of what I am driving at, that You and Love are indivisible!
If the sum total of everything seen and unseen is God, or the Big You, and its unpersonified nature is love; then everything is love and therefore what we are, and if the only action and purpose of love is to love, to express itself, then nothing else is possible or actually ever happens.
The only way to feel Love is to express it, as it passes from within you triggered by an external object of your love you feel it is out flowing, this is the gift of all other the opportunity to love unconditionally and thus feel who you truly are in your expression. Also when we are in a state of withholding this out pouring we are given opportunities to witness another loving and this creates a resonance within us reminding us of our true nature and how to experience it. Sometimes when we are blocking this we can perceive that witnessing another loving us is the receiving of love, the getting of love, yet how could we get something that we already are ?
We are Love and the only way we lose track of this is when we cease to express it convinced of its lack due to the fact we are not experiencing it we perceive when we witness another loving us that we are getting love but what is actually going on is we are calling to us an exterior reminder of loving, a witnessing of who we are, which is actually felt wether it is directed at us, or our children or at someone else completely. We can feel this when we witness a loving act to an animal or elderly person and our heart shifts to vibrate at the frequency of love and we are moved to tears. These tears were the blockage that was holding us from resonating at that frequency and became dislodged in the witnessing and harmonizing with our true being Love.
Thus we can see there is no need to 'Get' love for we are it and our confused attempts to attain that which we already are is the cause of all our suffering, we have simply to express who we are, Love and we feel it in its expression as it passes from the Big You through the small you. Used as a lens it projects into our perception and is experienced in its appreciation .
This is also the same situation for all aspects of the You-nification thus you cannot 'Give' love either, for all whom you would give to are also Love itself and their service is to stimulate the expression of love from within you, yet conversely by your expression they will also witness Love and be reminded of their own true being and called to feel the truth of that through its expression also.
When we recognize the gift of our individual selves, each small you we realize the opportunity it presents that through each of our own lenses we are able to feel our true being uniquely, to acknowledge through experience that we are love, and to know therefore we have always loved ourselves!
Love is always of service and since we are all love, then we are always serving our self. If love's only agenda is to serve, then whatever the request, there is only one answer to the one question asked in a million ways: "Yes!"
Yes, we may know ourself deeper through the experience we are choosing.
Yes, we may connect to another aspect of our being in this person or circumstance.
Yes, no matter whether we label the situation good or bad, at its root is the opportunity to know and deepen who we are.
CHAPTER 3
Do I Love Myself?
This was a question I asked myself when I first considered the concept of self-love. Previously I had thought that loving myself was a selfish or egotistical thing and even after I understood that giving to myself was being true to my highest requests, I still had strong doubts.
I had just been through the breakup of a seven-year relationship, was in the middle of a career meltdown and about to sell my Company, disillusioned with the superficial milieu of the music business and my life. So, no I did not think I loved myself, yet there was a missing key, a way of seeing these events differently. In hindsight I can now assert that the answer to this question is a resounding: Yes! Although it might be deemed dogmatic, this assertion is not one arrived at lightly, but comes from a place of confidence, born in my own fire of transformation, as I learnt to make space and then fully embrace this idea with my whole being.
If all actions are "from love to love" as suggested, then the only explanation is that it is our own perceptions that prevent us from seeing this truth. After losing all that seemed to define me, my relationship and my career, my sense of self dropped away. I became free of all limiting self-beliefs and thus unrestricted embarked on a journey of self-exploration.
Traveling to sacred sites and ancient civilizations, it became clear that every moment in my life had happened to give me the gestalt required to experience a grander, more accurate version of who I am. But, essential to this awakening process was that I was unaware of it at the time, so each challenge would really test me to bring about a true shift of knowing, only available in the experience of it.
The main difficulty in accepting that, You have always loved yourself, is specifically a misconception of the word, You! As you have already seen, I sometimes write the word normally and at other times with a capital "Y." The capitalized You, the Big You, is the one to which the phrase applies and the small you is the one who is perceiving it. The Big You is who You are, and the small you is who you think you are.
Who you think you are! ... in other words it is your thinking small that created this small you!
How did this happen, where did we acquire this small self we became so attached to, and why?
This happened through the mind's most wonderful learning technique: Repetition. Every one of us learnt to walk and talk by repeating tasks over and over again until performing the action moved from our conscious to our subconscious mind. This effectively turns a focused action into an automatic habit. These subconscious programs are collectively called the Ego, and it is how you acquired the small you. Similar to a computer program, its main function is to perform background tasks, enabling the human mind to multitask on many levels, whilst allowing the frontal lobe to be present and perceive the moment undisturbed.
This kind of learning allows us to drive a car, or play a musical instrument without thinking. Even typing on this very keyboard is done by fingers that just "know" where the keys are, hardwired by repetition. Initially this is a wonderful tool used during the construction of our egoic personalities. We literally lap up all we see around us, repeating it parrot-like until we have a common parlance and can interact and communicate with others. Then, as we grow older, a strange phenomenon occurs: Competition. We start to become defensive of our egoic structures, attached to the value we have invested in them due to the time and energy involved in their creation. Our achievement gained by hard work and diligence is questioned by comparison to others. So we erect defensive walls against any perceived threat. Any slight is taken as an affront of our egoic construct and the worth we have attributed to it. This defensive posture slowly thickens until we are very reticent to hear a new viewpoint.
We compare the new information to what we already know, and if it does not fit those parameters, we either reject or conform it to what we believe. However as we all eventually learn "Change is the only constant." Meaning that what we previously knew was from our limited viewpoint at that moment in time, and we can be sure we have changed many times over since then. Allow yourself to be humble and realize what you think you know to be the truth is a transitory thing: an ever-changing collection of limitations and beliefs. When you are hearing something you have, "heard before," you are inviting yourself to question and deepen that understanding, allowing a shift in your mindset and worldview. The objective is a grander sense of peace and a more wholesome concept of our unity in each case, reflecting the unity of all that is.
I discovered this myself after eight years of self-inquiry, therapy and sacred travel. I had spoken with many spiritual masters and read many books and experienced a great expansion of awareness and thought I had all the answers. However I was to discover that each stage in life presents a new opportunity to grow beyond it, and once a belief is stated, you then energetically spiral back to learn a deeper truth inherent in its questioning. 'The truth' is constantly changing and evolving mirroring our own evolution as we drop each limiting belief for a new expansive version of who we are.
So in the reading of these pages, if you think "I already know this," ask yourself what revelation you are looking to expose or solidify by bringing this book into your life. As there are no coincidences or mistakes, it is a shame when pride causes one to resist what is offered in each moment of perfect providence. So drop your resistance and now hear from a new set of ears, as they refine your understanding of who You really are and how different it is from who you thought you were!
Our initial concept of ourselves as a small thing, a separate thing, a lost in the multitude of others thing, is the greatest misconception foisted upon us. You are a big thing, an infinite thing, an all-encompassing everything and that is whom I am talking about here.
The Big You,
the magnificent You,
the gracious You,
the radiantly magnanimous You!
