CHAPTER 1
WHAT'S IN IT FOR YOU?
My work as a business consultant and coach for the past twenty-five plus years has brought me in contact with hundreds of business people. Most of my clients work in privately owned businesses selling and servicing industrial machinery such as construction equipment, agricultural equipment, pumps, compressors, material handling equipment, commercial tires, and on and on. The respect I have for the leaders/ owners/managers of these businesses is tremendous. My interactions with these men (yes, by far at least ninety-eight percent are men) range from operational (how to run their businesses) to personal (how their lives are functioning).
I have also provided life coaching to many people throughout the years. While my business consulting and coaching has been with men, my life coaching experiences have been mostly with women. These experiences have put me in the unique position of being privy to the personal ups and downs of all these people. So, whether you are a business person, stay-at-home man or woman, the strategies and structures of this workbook will assist you in enhancing your life.
Let's look at an example.
John's Lack of Balance
John pulled me aside at a meeting so that we could speak away from the others in the group. He said that his wife was unhappy with his focus on the business to the detriment of their relationship. He knew that he had lost touch with his children and couldn't tell me much about their high school years. He was proud of his accomplishments at work and was confused because he felt that providing financial security for his family was his reason for being. He asked me what he should do.
Because John felt he was the key element to the continued success of his company, he feared relinquishing control of his business. He demanded that his executive team and his managers put in the same amount of time, energy, and commitment that he did. Now he was beginning to understand that a large contributor to the turnover in personnel was due to a culture that equated long hours with good performance which led to a lack of life balance for his employees.
John began to examine his life using the Boom Life methodology and it became very clear that he lacked satisfaction in several areas of his life. Adjustments were difficult but he made them and these adjustments lead to better relationships with his wife, his family, his friends, and his staff.
John is not alone, everyone needs to take stock of what is happening to the entire landscape of their lives at least once a year and make adjustments to areas that are "out of balance." Why? The answer is very personal to each individual; but for the most part, this issue of balance enhances your life: it brings on a Boom Life!
Riding Your Bike
Albert Einstein said it best: "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you have to keep moving." Welcome to your bicycle/life-enhancement. You may have tried to make life improvements in the past without much success. Even though you feel capable, you may struggle to figure out how to truly change or what to change. This comprehensive program will help you pinpoint how your limiting thoughts and beliefs are currently blocking your progress. Through a series of questions and visualizations, you will begin to ignite the profound changes you've been craving in each area of your life.
What does it take to ride your bike through your life? Well you will need a good set of wheels. If you prefer a unicycle, it will be one big wheel. If you prefer a more traditional bicycle, it will need two wheels. As you get older you may trade your bike in for an adult tricycle. No matter how many wheels you have you will have to check those wheels for leaks, weaknesses, nails, and the like. You also have to keep moving, in other words you have to get up and out and live your life. Without movement you lose your balance and will fall off your bike. It is simply all the areas of your life that work together as a system. I have found eight major life areas that make up the wheel. In no particular order these areas are:
Health - Environment - Finances - Career - Family - Social/Fun – Intimate Relationship - Spirituality.
Look at these eight life elements as spokes on your wheels. If one spoke is smaller than the others the wheel will not run efficiently. If there are several areas that are "off" then the wheel may not roll at all. The reality is that some of you may not have one of the life areas above. For instance, if you are retired or have enough money that you do not need to work – congratulations; you may not have the Career spoke. But the other areas of your life are there, so instead of wheels with eight spokes, you have seven. You might add a life area which is important to you which is great. What you can't do is eliminate too many life sections because the strength of your wheels will become compromised the fewer spokes you have. The rounder the tires and the more you are proactive, the more balance and satisfaction with life and the easier it is to ride that bike.
CHAPTER 2
BALANCE
It is important to understand how the concept of "balance" is used here. At first blush, you might think of time as the balance element. If this were the case then to have balance you would have to put an equal amount of time into each of the eight life elements. This is not practical or achievable.
When I speak of balance I am measuring the amount of satisfaction a person has in each of the eight life elements as well as the activity of life itself. As you dig into this workbook I will guide you to examine each of the eight life elements and determine your level of satisfaction with each one. The act of completing this workbook (especially on a yearly basis) will provide the momentum you need to maintain your balance.
To achieve balance we are looking for satisfaction ratings in all eight areas that are within one point of each other. A satisfied life will have ratings in the four to five range. Now, if your ratings are all low - two or below you do not have a balanced life because balance is about satisfaction and happiness, you need to work to lift up each life area.
My Story
Every year for the past twenty-five plus years I have completed what I consider to be a life audit. I look at the eight life areas and rate each one as to how satisfied I am with it and then work on the areas that are out of whack.
In the year 2000, I found that my satisfaction with my career was lower than I expected. It was to the point that I had lost some of my motivation. After reflecting on my career, I realized that to improve my satisfaction I would need to go back to school. I wanted to focus more on the psychological and behavioral side of running a business. I wanted my Master's degree. But how could I do this? I was working full time and traveling; my time with family and friends was stretched already; I was involved in two nonprofit organizations (on their Board of Directors); and more.
How did I do it? I looked to the other seven areas of my life and asked them to give a little for the next few years and it worked. I kept up my health regimen. I asked family and friends to be patient with me while I focused on my studies. I talked to my husband about my decision and he got on board quickly. I asked for a partial leave of absence from work and everyone agreed. My husband was willing to take on more of the financial burden in the short term for the long-term rewards. I set up areas in my home and at work to make it easier to study. And I certainly prayed that I had what it took to get through. I graduated with my MA in Counseling Psychology in 2003: no small feat, but it is one that is paying off for me personally and in business.
As you can see, if another area in my life was out of whack - or worse, two or three areas - getting my degree would have been much more difficult. Family would have resented my time away from them; friends might not have been patient with me, which would not have made the goal impossible, but certainly more difficult.
Balance allows you to cope with whatever life has in store for you. While you never know what's around the corner, you are far more equipped to deal with setbacks when you have a firm understanding of your life. You may attain perfect balance, but then the unexpected happens. You lose your job. Your spouse dies. These events are somewhat out of your control but if you have a good understanding of your life and where you are headed, you can handle just about anything the world throws at you.
Ed's Life Challenge
One of my clients, Ed, is an entrepreneur who built a $100,000,000 distribution business. While building this business he made room for his wife, family, and friends. He loved to play golf and he played as often as possible. He attended church services regularly. He was financially secure and loved his business. He and his wife and children lived in a great community. Their home was everything he had ever imagined. The sacrifices he made in terms of time away to build his business were discussed and managed so that he and his family were in agreement. They found ways to stay connected and happy. It was all working until his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer.
The next few years were filled with worry and the ups and downs that a cancer diagnosis brings. Treatments were followed yet she succumbed to the disease. How did Ed survive? Ed had been completing an annual review of his life and had moved from a life that was hyper-focused on work and finance to improving his satisfaction in the other six life areas. The work he did on his life enabled him to find support to carry him through the grief. Family, friends, activities, church, his business, all were there for him. He did not depend on just one area, such as work, to fill his life. He knew that balance was key to his long-term satisfaction.
If you understand and work on each area of your life you will be able to move forward no matter what happens in the future. Even when you get a flat tire, you know how to fix it. Without balance you find yourself stuck, unproductive and unhappy.
Just as your mechanic discovers a belt that needs replacing before it fails and a doctor begins treatment for high blood pressure before it leads to a stroke, a comprehensive look at your life can uncover areas that, with a little attention, can improve your fulfillment and deepen your love of life.
CHAPTER 3
MAPPING YOUR LIFE: THE MISSION STATEMENT
Imagine getting on your bicycle and riding with no destination in mind. Yes, you will end up somewhere and you might even enjoy the ride and like where you end up. But that would be leaving your destiny to chance and luck. I had been doing just that for thirty-nine years and knew it was time to get a map out and decide where I was going with my life and how I would get there.
My work as a consultant and coach starts with asking my clients for a copy of their personal Mission Statement. My business clients know that they need a destination, a set of goals for their businesses. Yet, they were usually surprised when I asked for their personal mission statement. When they first bought their businesses they had a vision of what it would look like five or more years down the road. They put together a business plan and a mission statement to get there. Every business book and school shouts the importance of a "Mission Statement."
A mission statement lets you, your employees, your customers, your vendors, and your community know what is important. At the business level, my clients involve many people in the writing of the Company Mission Statement. This is done to gain buy-in for the mission. It works. People want to know where the company is headed and how it will get there.
A very common interview question is, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" Of course, the question is about career and most interviewees can answer that question. A personal mission statement answers this question concerning where you want to be at the end of your life. The Boom Life methodology takes you on a journey every year to make sure you are on the path to completing your mission.
Your life needs a direction and a mission. Most people go through life without a written mission statement. Yet most people have a vision of what they want to accomplish with their lives. For example a vision of school, career, marriage, family, finances, and more are in your head. It is time to get it down on paper. Without a mission how will know you are taking the right steps to get there? You are the rider and, in this case, the writer. Let's look at two ways to tackle writing your mission statement.
The first way to write your mission statement is to take inventories of yourself and your life. Take some time and list the roles you have in life at this point. Here is my list: wife, mother, grandmother (my favorite role at the moment), business owner, consultant, coach, friend, aunt, sister, Catholic, community servant, traveler, student, teacher, speaker, and writer.
Write your list: ________________________________________________________________________
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Now inventory the qualities and other aspects that you bring to these roles.
Here is my list: love, healing, friendship, trust, spiritualism, faith, intelligence, support, humor (at least I think I am funny), financial security, advice, knowledge, and respect.
Here is space to write your list: ________________________________________________________________________
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Next list what you have accomplished or want to accomplish in your life.
Here is my list: raised my children, impacted my step-children, connected with family and friends, had fun with grandchildren, supported family and friends through hard times, travelled all over the world, ran a successful consulting business, assisted people in improving their lives, connected with my spiritual side, wrote a book or two or three and was a sought after speaker.
Here is space to write your accomplishments: ________________________________________________________________________
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The next step is to combine these lists. Here is how I combined mine.
I am loved and I love my husband. We respect each other and truly enjoy being together. I am both a mother and grandmother who is loving and fun. My children and grandchildren love and trust me. My friends look to me for support and guidance as well as a good time. My business is successful and my clients prosper through my advice and knowledge. I have travelled all over the world, even to Antartica. I am a volunteer in the community. I take time to pray, meditate, and connect with my God and my church family. I love to read and learn and I am the author of several books that have been read by millions. I have spoken to groups of people from all over the world and touched their hearts and minds in a positive way.
Here is space to combine your lists and accomplishments. ________________________________________________________________________
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The last step is to make this into a "Mission Statement." No matter how much you have achieved, continue to use your Mission Statement as the road map for your life.
My Mission Statement
To be a supportive and loving spouse. To enjoy my children who know how to be happy and successful in their lives. To impact my grandchildren and provide them with love and fun times. To provide my clients with the knowledge and skills they need to become more effective in their work and in their lives. To practice my religion through prayer and good works. To leave a legacy through books I have written, speeches I have made and through my family. To continue to learn, travel and enjoy my life with my husband, friends and family.
