CHAPTER 1

EGO AND SOUL

I begin by sharing one of my personal journeys:

I love telling stories — always have. My mother said that I started talking before the age of one and I could form full sentences. "You began to talk too early and never stopped," she used to say. However, I didn't like talking about just the weather, or what was in style, etc. My conversations needed to be meaningful. Even as a child, my love for animals and life was obvious and has always been part of me. So my stories were always filled with life and how it all was more than the eyes could see.

My Soul was expressed so easily and effortlessly. I seemed to have a gift for knowing what to say under any circumstances.

Growing up, my favorite play was writing stories. As early as the age of five, or even before I knew how to write, I used an old record player that opened like a secretary desk and pretended it was my writing table. I would pile it up with blank papers, some with scribbles on them.

Eventually, the question became, what am I going to be when I grow up? I was warned that being a writer would not be an option. Since I had a severe case of dyslexia, my attempts at writing suffered substantially. So I was discouraged from that — writers should know grammar and how to spell.

I was finally being domesticated, and my Ego was getting fully formed. However, my Soul also needed to be expressed somehow. What could I do with the gift of easily expressing my thoughts and feelings?

Voila! Sales was the answer, a career in sales — I can talk to just about anyone! Could that also mean I can sell anything? The answer was no. I discovered that I could only sell products or services that I believed in. Otherwise, there would be no enthusiasm or passion. Over the years, though I did well in sales, there was always that empty feeling inside. I became bored once I knew all the tricks. The only option was to move on to the next service or product.

When I reached 40 my strong desire to write returned, not just poetry and journals like I had been doing up to then, but stories and personal thoughts. My Soul let me become aware of it again.

I decided I needed help. I found a teacher who would give me private writing lessons. I began my class once a week at his house.

He told me, "Elizabeth you are a gifted writer, but yes, you have to polish your work. You must learn the proper way to channel your gift."

I responded, "My intention is not to write things for others to read, but for my own personal pleasure, since I cannot really write properly."

He then said, "Do you know that whatever you have to say only you can say? However you choose to write it, it can be corrected by anyone who can edit. Do not use your dyslexia as an excuse. Write, write every day. You will be surprised. One day you will feel the need to say something that only you can say and you'll want to share it with the world!"

But because the Ego wants to perpetuate itself, its strength overpowered my teacher's advice and any possibility of my Soul's full expression.

Almost 20 years have passed since my teacher told me that. It was not until a few years back when the passing of my mother caused my ground to shake, that I re-thought my beliefs, my values and especially where I stood career wise.

Since then, I have written a novel, for my own pleasure, and this book you are now reading. I am now involved in changing the patterns of my life and in the lives of those I love, leading back to my true Divine nature.

My Soul path finally won.

Now that I have told you a bit of my story, let's dive into some explanations about "Ego" and "Soul."

Ego and Soul definitions:

Ego.

1. The "I" or self of any person; a thinking, feeling, and conscious being, able to distinguish itself from other selves.

2. In psychoanalytic theory, the portion of the psyche experienced as the "self" or "I." It is the part that remembers, evaluates, plans, and in other ways is responsive to and acts in the surrounding physical and social world. The conscious, rational part of the soul that experiences and reacts to the external world and mediates between the needs of the id and the superego.

Dictionary.com

Essentially, our Ego is the part of us that we learned to become. We have discovered through our family, social interaction, and the subsequent domestication, that which has turned us into the social being we are at present. We look at ourselves in the mirror and the image we see is what we believe ourselves to be.

We can be, for example, an intellectual wearing glasses, who everyone looks to for information.

Or we can be a housewife with kids who is also a perfect hostess, seen as someone who cares.

Of course, as indicated, the Ego feels and believes that whatever we are experiencing is real. Therefore, we believe that what we feel, how we behave, think or react is who we are, when in reality, it's what we have learned to consider as real. We most likely feel offended, hurt, or abandoned whenever someone does not behave according to what we know is right or is consistent with our expectations. The more we reinforce our belief system the more real it becomes. The information perceived by our body now turns into a reality, not only in the present but in similar occurrences in the future. We will attract more of the same to ourselves unless we change beliefs and patterns.

Simply put, Ego perceives life in black and white and is judgmental. It is the basic instinct from the body's consciousness. However, when we look at our life from a Soul consciousness, we first understand that whatever happens is like a play in a theater, it does not really affect our makeup, but simply how we play the game. The school in which we are residing allows us to move toward the full understanding of our personal divinity and thereon learn to love ourselves unconditionally, and as a result love all others the same way.

Soul

1. The animating and vital principle in humans, credited with the faculties of thought, action, and emotion and often conceived as an immaterial entity.

2. The spiritual nature of humans, regarded as immortal, separable from the body at death, and susceptible to happiness or misery in a future state.

Dictionary.com

Soul is the part of us that will outlive the body and therefore become separate from it. It has been my experience a Soul Path feels like a calling, it resonates within, and it feels like an integrated part of myself. We most likely experience it with our eyes closed, like a child playing; it feels light, joyful and interesting. It is natural. The talent is inborn though we might have to improve certain skills to develop it. The Soul Path isn't acquired, just improved upon.

Ego Path calls for a reason why to do something. We may or may not enjoy doing it. We may feel the need to force ourselves to accomplish it. In this case, the blissful pleasure of doing is nonexistent or short lived. Skills need to be acquired, such as driving, typing, or anything that requires only mechanical or intellectual exercise. Also, the need to follow comes from fear, or out of guilt or shame. It is a constricting feeling, not one of expansion as with our Soul Path.

Now how do we know that our path is a Soul Path and not one of the Ego?

We know inwardly whenever it is from our Soul. At times, we may hear a voice of doubt, but this nagging voice is not of our Soul. If we listen closely we will know it's our Ego talking, based on what is believed to be safe and/or whatever we came to perceive as real; in other words, the Ego always wants to preserve the "status quo."

When the Soul talks — it is a joyful inner feeling — there is a peace which comes with it. When the Ego chats it's a nagging feeling — a sense of being unsafe.

Now, to further explore the dichotomy of Ego and Soul, let's turn to the example of an orphan where his/her perception from the Ego was of an unsafe world, or being undeserving of love.

If you were an orphan you would assume, from the perspective of the Ego, you do not deserve to be loved, or assume that the parent or parents who abandoned you are horrible beings, therefore the world is an unsafe place. Whatever perception you acquired about the abandonment issue at the time it happened, will become your reality and will repeat itself in the future. Your view, as well as the view of others, is usually an Ego reality. This brain pattern will continue until you perceive the real truth behind the event.

However, from a Soul view, being an orphan is a chance to build character, to walk the path with strength and determination. By learning to stand alone and depending very little on others, you will understand why you had to be an orphan. The Soul sees the work of parents who seemed to have abandoned us, for what experiences they were going through. Their sorrow, their weakness or whatever was behind their motives, did not involve us, but was part of their personal journey. Only our Soul is capable of seeing life through the eyes of the Divine without rendering judgment, and with love, compassion and forgiveness. The Soul has the strength to realize we are never alone. We have each been given a path of learning and a path of teaching, and we are here to learn and to teach as well as integrate.

Understand that the experience is there for us to learn from, and once accomplished, we can release the blame and/or guilt, by forgiving and loving. Once we do, we begin to discover the purpose of the abandonment and what role it played in our understanding of the world. The Soul always observes events without blaming others or attaching blame. It looks at life's experiences from a loving viewpoint, and that alone.

In the following chapters, we will address Karma in the most common areas. We'll look at the best way to deal with it, and how to clear it. If the Family Karma is cleared, we see results not only in our lives, but in our family: direct line, up, down and sideways from our parents and their parents, and on down the line to our children and their children as well as our brothers and sisters.

Here are some passages from the Bible to illustrate what we have discussed:

Corinthians 6:19-20

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Romans 12:1-21

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think [Ego], but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. [from the Spirit/Soul/Higher Self] For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. [We are perfect in spirit, we are all united in the Spirit.]

The next chapter more fully describes Karma and types of Karma according to ancient traditions, and a modern way of looking at the subject.

Questionnaire for Chapter I

What have I learned from Chapter I? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________

Am I acting on others' expectations of me?

Yes ___ No ____

Does it feel like I am living my life from my Soul guidance or from my Ego? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________

Do I feel like I am loveable and worthy? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________

Do I feel joy in my career, my relationships, in all I do? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________

Am I afraid of others opinion? Or afraid of failing? Or have any other type of fear? If so what kind? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________

Special notes: _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________

CHAPTER 2

KARMA, WHAT IS IT REALLY?

Karma is a Buddhist term that literally means "action" or "doing." In Sanskrit: Karman. In ancient Pali: kamma.

In the Buddhist view, karmic results are not considered to be a "judgment" imposed by a God or some other all-powerful being; rather, these results are the outcome of a natural process.

Teachings about karma demonstrate that our past actions affect us, either positively or negatively, and our present actions will affect us in the future.

Buddhism uses an agricultural metaphor to explain how sowing good or bad deeds will result in good or bad fruit (phala, meaning fruition, or vipaka, ripening).

Buddha statement: "All living beings have actions (Karma) as their own, their inheritance, their congenital cause, their kinsman, their refuge. It is Karma that differentiates beings into low and high states."

The Bible refers to karma without calling it karma, as illustrated by the following Biblical passages:

Job 4:8

Even as I have seen, they that plow iniquity and sow wickedness, reap the same.

Those who think and act in iniquity will attract and collect iniquity.

Hebrews 9:27

And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment.

After you die it is not over, you will still suffer the effects of your actions.

2 Corinthians 5:10

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that everyone may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.

After we die our soul will have to dispense with the effects of our physical (egotistic) actions, whether good or malevolent.

Galatians 6:8-9

For he that soweth to his flesh shall from the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

One who acts only from his Ego will collect only from egotistical ways and their consequences, but the one who sows from the Soul or Spirit is sown from love and therefore will reap eternal life of love. Still, that should not preclude us from practicing good works.

Genesis 4:15

And the Lord said unto him, therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the Lord set a mark upon Cain, lest any finding him should kill him.

A good example of Family Karma. After Cain killed his brother, out of fear and shame the act was passed down to generations to come to suffer the consequences.

Matthew 26:52

Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword.

My personal view and experience with Karma:

Karma, according to each tradition, though addressed in different ways, teaches the same thing. Consequences or effects of our actions or thoughts do not change because you say, "I was unaware of it, therefore I should be spared." Ignorance does not change the consequences. This is a universal Law of Cause and Effect, good or bad.

However, Karma goes beyond this law. It's really a clever way that the Divine or Universal law can show us (Soul) how to see life from a 360-degree perspective so that we become complete and integrated. The ability to experience both sides allows us to understand the dynamics of relationships as well as who we are, without the limitations of boundaries and judgment.

Plain and simple, we are our Soul (pure light). With this understanding we should be able to let go, detach.

What follows then, is the act of forgiveness — through understanding we can forgive. And, unconditional love — through accepting, we can love ourselves and others.

This is what we have come to understand: Our higher self (Soul) learns and experiences through our lower self, or through our physical existence. For it is through our lower self that our higher self gets to "feel" the laws of the universe and therefore learn them quicker. It is via Karma and the ability to perceive from both positions that our Soul assimilates this knowledge or wisdom allowing it to evolve and integrate.