CHAPTER 1
DAILY AFFIRMATIONS
These are some examples. Whenever possible, add actions or feelings to your affirmations.
• Just because you can doesn't mean you should.
• Think before speaking. Once said, things are difficult to take back.
• Upon waking, be silent in order to hear the thoughts of the divine. Write the message down.
• I am an ambassador of the Creator, and I will make good decisions today!
• I will bless people today with a smile or encouraging words.
• I will not entertain any judgmental thoughts toward myself and others.
• Use small things to make others happy! I will say, "good morning."
• Today I need grace and mercy for myself and others.
• I will be intentional in forgiveness today.
• I will take a little time for me today.
• I will expect good things to happen for myself and my family.
• Look for a blessing in disguise and be a blessing.
• Listen to something motivational and uplifting.
• Read a book.
• Participate in love thoughts.
• Pray.
• I'm thankful and keep a gratitude journal.
• I will wear bright colors that make me and everyone around me smile.
• Daydream.
• Laugh out loud and dance as if people aren't watching.
• Love and be loved.
• Take a bubble bath tonight until my skin is like a raisin.
• Watch sappy romance movies with happy endings.
• I'm eating butter pecan ice cream and having cake today. (Don't judge me.)
• Look in the mirror and tell yourself, "You're awesome."
• I'm shopping without guilt.
• I purchase a small gift for myself for each holiday including Father's Day.
• I celebrate each day of my birthday month.
• I'm not cooking today. I'm going out to be served.
• Have a massage — not a luxury, a necessity.
• Give God all my problems so that I can enjoy my day. He'll let me know if he needs me to participate.
List your favorite affirmations and thoughts to be recited daily.
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CHAPTER 2
MOTHER-TO-MOTHER TALK
I'm very excited to share my experiences with you mother to mother.
When I became a new mom, I was nervous about how to raise my daughters. I was then, and still am now, puzzled that everything comes with instructions except for children.
When I began my parenting journey, there was very little documented information. My quest was always to provide my children with the best tools possible in order for them to do well in school and in life. The fact that you are reading this book clearly illustrates that you are also seeking those tools.
My goal is to help parents make a difference in their children's lives and, consequently, in their own lives. Parental involvement is so important that researchers continue to study multiple variables to involve parents in school. Joyce L. Epstein, leading researcher in this subject, identified parental involvement as one of the strongest indicators for student academic achievement. She identified the following six types of involvement in her framework:
1. Parenting — Help all families establish home environments to support children as students.
2. Communicating — Design effective forms of school-to-home and home-to-school communications about school programs and children's progress.
3. Volunteering — Recruit and organize parent help and support.
4. Learning at Home — Provide information and ideas to families about how to help students at home with homework and other curriculum-related activities, decisions, and planning.
5. Decision-Making — Include parents in school decisions, developing parent leaders and representatives.
6. Collaborating with Community — Identify and integrate resources and services from the community to strengthen school programs, family practices, and student learning and development.
The entirety of Epstein's Framework of Six Types of Involvement is available on the UNICEF website.
Epstein identified these factors as tools to increase parental involvement. The study further showed that federal legislation such as Goals 2000: Educate America Act adopted policy and commitment to improving all areas of parental involvement. This act focused on the family to improve the quality of education and the school as the tool to accomplish this goal. Many established studies have concluded parental involvement impacts student academic achievement.
Thanks to the California Avenue School in Uniondale, New York, I was able to conduct and implement several successful programs involving parents in their children's education. Research preparation for writing my thesis, "Parental Involvement and the effects linked to Academic Achievement," helped me to formulate theories into practice. The statistical data I accumulated gave evidence supporting favorable results when parents were directly involved in their children's education.
My advice to parents and teachers is to provide research, action plans, solutions, and budgets for program implementation. There are several other indicators for involving parents in school; however, for the purpose of this book, they are too lengthy to list here.
During my teaching years, I was an active initiator of various programs involving parental, school, and teacher participation. I taught elementary school for eighteen years, working with a diverse population of students as an elementary school science specialist. I was instrumental in implementing and working with my colleagues to foster and develop the following:
• Mentoring for students and adults
• Adult education
• School banking
• Student, teacher, parent involvement
• Providing books for a library in Africa
• Student publication of books
• School performances
• Parent workshops
• Mother and child program
• Student entrepreneur program
• Black history and women's history in-school museums
• Summer workshop programs for parents and students
I initiated lectures and facilitated workshops themed with parents in mind. The workshop topics were centered on bridging the gap between home and school while fostering academic excellence. The workshops and lectures were tailored to meet school or organizational requisites for "Parental Involvement."
I have also facilitated and provided workshops for women on topics promoting encouragement, motivation, and the importance of our pivotal role in today's society.
Although parents and teachers desire to improve parental involvement, there is still a combined gap in how to accomplish this successfully. Staff development of teachers improves student achievement; therefore, my goal is to provide parental development to improve student achievement at home and in life in general.
For our purposes, parental involvement is a connection between school, home, and community. We should envision the school, home, and community as a partnership toward the success of the whole child. The involvement of all stakeholders will improve successful educational outcomes.
Effective partnerships require vision, leadership, purpose, and commitment that are shared by all. P.A.R.E.N.T.S. — Preparing Achievers Reaching Excellence Nurturing Talents Successfully — is the objective. Armed with sufficient data and information, you will be able to make informed decisions regarding your children. I hope to foster an everlasting bond between you and your family.
Together we need to leave rhetoric to others and focus on the tools required to achieve the goal — success for all. Calling All P.A.R.E.N.T.S. will equip parents with techniques and tips that fit their busy schedules and lifestyles. Parents don't have time to read through page after page of empirical research and lengthy studies. Therefore, this book has condensed information in a nonthreatening approach.
Calling All P.A.R.E.N.T.S. communicates stories, hands-on tools, and interactive activities that will benefit every person. When we as parents are informed, a higher level of commitment and consciousness will automatically evolve. I want you to feel as if we are friends talking to each other while sipping a pleasing, aromatic cup of coffee or tea. I want us to develop a shared link of understanding and communication. There is no blame, rhetoric, or fear. Criticism will only impede us from moving forward.
Calling All P.A.R.E.N.T.S. is a resource for parenting skills and the transformation of families. This book is meant to replace the constant stream of negative information with empowered thinking and decision- making with one goal and one motive: the concern and welfare of all children.
The more you become involved with and committed to the seven letters, seven words, and seven ideas of Calling All P.A.R.E.N.T.S., the more you will bond with your children and begin to identify each child's talents.
From time to time, biblical quotes will be utilized to make a literary point and to serve as a moral compass. In addition to academic success, we are concerned with evolution and consciousness toward others. This book cares about the whole child: morally, spiritually, and academically. It is my belief that the combined efforts of all three will produce the best results. However, you are the vehicle to extract your needs and create belief systems for your family. We must be sensitive to and supportive of each other's needs. We as parents should be our children's foremost advocates, role models, and mentors.
Home management, child-rearing, and family-related issues should be modified and addressed individually for each child. Calling All P.A.R.E.N.T.S. is to be viewed as another tool in the crayon box, which represents as many different colors as there are circumstances in each and every individual home.
CHAPTER 3
THE FIRST LETTER IN P.A.R.E.N.T.S. REPRESENTS PREPARING
P.A.R.E.N.T.S. (Preparing Achievers Reaching Excellence Nurturing Talents Successfully) represents seven letters, seven words, and seven ideas. The first is preparing.
Preparing is the beginning phase that reduces stress and anxiety. Prepare and plan using calendars, journals, Post-it notes, to-do lists, notebooks, folders, etc. A little advanced preparation time will result in huge dividends and rewards in the long run.
Definition: Prepare/Preparing
• Prepare to make someone or something ready for an activity of purpose
• Make something beforehand
• Put in a proper state of mind
• Work out details of
• Plan in advance
• Get ready
A few guidelines that I find helpful for preparation:
• Prepare activity schedules (make sure to schedule family time).
• Prepare weekly menus — make a dish and freeze a dish.
• Prepare clothes the night before.
• Prepare weekly chores for family members.
• Prepare where homework takes place (can be at the kitchen table or even a sturdy box or chair will do). Always be creative.
Parenting experts stress that consistency should become part of your daily routine. Children understand repetition at the beginning stages of their journey and appreciate consistency in their lives.
You may want to leave a legacy for your children to carry on positive traditions to their families. Placing them on the right path requires letting go of some things from the good old days and making changes for the future. We can no longer afford to be adjunct caregivers of our children without direct input into their educational, moral, and spiritual needs. As parents, we should be the CEOs of our families. Our children need love, direction, and intentional guidance.
The job of raising children doesn't belong to the faint of heart but to the prepared parents.
Prepare to be a protective mother:
Protective parents whenever possible guard their children from hurt, harm, and danger and provide food, shelter, and clothing. Also, parents provide love, attention, affection, hugs, and smiles with a gentle touch. Parents sacrifice for their children. Children do have to go out into the world, however, so protection should be reasonable and age appropriate.
Most of us know the biblical story of Pharaoh ordering a decree that all male children be put to death to prevent the fulfillment of a prophecy. A protective mother placed her child in a basket and floated the basket down the river in order to save his life. Even though we don't live in those harsh times, there are many other dangers in the world that we need to protect our children against. As a result of a sacrificing and protective mother, Moses went on to save the lives of many.
Prepare to be a comforting mother:
It's a mother's undertaking to comfort her children. Obviously, their primary needs are to be met; however, fixing little injuries with bandages, lots of hugs, and kisses is the fun part of the job. Don't worry about spoiling young children; you will eventually find a balance. I would worry less about spoiling and love more. Young babies need plenty of comforts to help them adapt to being out of the safety of the womb and into the new environment surrounding them. You have plenty of time to make adjustments through the cognitive stages of growth and development.
Prepare to be your child's first teacher:
Mothers train, coach, mentor, lead, guide, educate, instruct, and so on. To be your child's first teacher, you need to be prepared for the task at hand. You've been in training before he or she was in the womb. What you eat, drink, think, and especially what you do has been dictated to you from birth. The outside world has been programming us with images and information that have influenced and shaped our belief systems over time.
Begin reading to your children while they are in the womb. By the time they are born, they can recognize your voice. Don't spend a lot on clothing. Babies simply are going to eat, sleep, and poop in the very beginning. They require love and attention to their needs.
We prepare for everything. We prepare for job interviews and tests for college and employment. We prepare what is served for dinner and how to get from point A to point B. A navigation system requires input for correct directional output. However, when it comes to raising our children, no tests are required. For many of us, our children were a wonderful arrival for the beginning of a family. We, as parents, need to be prepared to help our children meet the challenges of today.
A Department of Agriculture report found that in 2015, the cost of raising a child from birth to age seventeen was approximately $233,610.
College expenses were not included in this figure. Education is important; however, our students are left with enormous educational debt, which is a deciding factor for colleges and students today.
Consider the African proverb: "If you educate a man, you educate an individual, but if you educate a woman, you educate a family." When you educate a man, he learns, and this is a good thing. When you educate a woman, not only does she learn, but the entire family learns. This is a great thing.
We need the good things and the great things for family success. Mothers have a great responsibility entrusted to them. As mothers, we have an opportunity to change and influence generations through our teachings.
When you visit a realtor, you ask, "How do I find a house in a safe community with great schools and receive the most value for my investment?" The realtor replies, "It is location, location, location." Mothers, when you want successful children, it is parents parenting, parents parenting, and parents parenting. Calling All P.A.R.E.N.T.S. is your blueprint and educational compass.
"You can measure how well a country does by how well it treats its women. When women succeed, America succeeds.
It's pretty straightforward."
— President Barack Obama
Prepare your child to be a lifelong learner:
We as parents give generously of ourselves to ensure the greatest possible achievement from our children. One of the primary roles of a mother is to teach children to become lifelong learners. As a parent, you are your child's first teacher and later become a mentor and a coach. Parents should be committed to encouraging children to reach their maximum potential in a positive and least-restrictive environment. It's hard to make decisions when clouded by love; however, I confess that I was totally blinded by love and could have been more balanced in my decision-making.
Children should be allowed to investigate and reach their own conclusions by discovery whenever possible. Learning by discovery increases the child's knowledge and also stimulates long-term memory. We as parents and teachers facilitate as opposed to passively lecturing, allowing the child to become the teacher whenever possible.
A parent is a person who is a mother or a father — or another adult. The word parent is an adjective.
Calling all parents who are bold enough, tired enough, and concerned enough to become parent activists to change our world!
Will you become proactive and look inside yourself and commit to raising one child at a time using the formula from Calling All P.A.R.E.N.T.S.?
I, ______________________________, am committed to the above agreement. I'm using sound principles, good judgment, and guided love to change myself and one child at a time with the concepts found in Calling All P.A.R.E.N.T.S. My child is beautiful in my sight, and I'm prepared to fulfill my commitment for the success of my family!
