While in college I learned everything I needed to know . . . after I needed it". This pretty much sums up the college lives for many fresh-faced freshmen who, upon arriving to college, knew basically nothing about being on their own. To help ease the transition from doting parents to a college life filled with immense freedom and freshman experiences there's College: The Female Essentials. This book takes its readers on the college journey starting with things to do before college and closing with a chapter dedicated to telling readers what it really means to be a woman. Mingled in between are an array of topics from dorm life, rules for dating and partying, classes, money management, religion, and much more. There are group interviews from male college athletes and Greeks, as well as group interviews from college female students and their views on dating. Also included are helpful tips within chapters and "Letters to Keesh," with responses to common issues college students face. This book is from an older sister point-of-view . . . written from experience.

College

The Female EssentialsBy Lakisha Henderson

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2009 Lakisha Henderson
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4389-7524-5

Contents

1. Introduction.......................................................ix2. Life Before College................................................13. Moving in and Things to Bring......................................74. Dorm Life..........................................................135. College Cooking & Washing..........................................216. Are My Pants Shrinking?............................................317. Embrace New Surroundings...........................................358. New Image, New Style, New You......................................419. Embracing Adulthood................................................5310. Rules: Dating, Partying, and Dorm Room Visits.....................5911. To Date or Not to Date............................................6912. Athletes & Greeks.................................................8713. Parties, Clubs, and V.I.P.........................................9514. Sex: Un-Chaperoned................................................10515. Hey, I Think I'm Pregnant.........................................11516. Friends or Foe....................................................11917. Classes...........................................................12718. Classroom Etiquette...............................................14119. Get Organized.....................................................14720. Trying to Make a Dollar Out of 15................................15121. Jobs..............................................................15922. Missing Home......................................................16323. Organizations.....................................................16724. Homecoming and Spring Break.......................................17125. Planning for Your Future..........................................17526. Religion..........................................................17927. Love & Pamper.....................................................18328. Becoming a Woman..................................................18929. Acknowledgements..................................................193

Chapter One

LIFE BEFORE COLLEGE

This is the time where you are still in high school and you are daydreaming in class about your future breathtaking college experience. Before you can bring those daydreams to life you will need to decide on where you want to apply to college. Depending on what college you choose to attend may play a role in your breathtaking experience because if the college you choose isn't the right one for you, your college experience might be horrific? When deciding on a college you should factor in the majors offered, affordability, and location.

If you have dreams of being a fashion designer, what sense would it make for you to go to a school that focuses primarily on medical careers? You should focus on the programs offered in your degree of choice that can help you cultivate your natural talent. Some colleges are known for having the best engineering program or the best journalism program; just research the internet to see what college has the best program that best suits you. Check on the college website and see what classes are offered pertaining to your major of choice. This will let you know whether of not that school is the right one for you academically.

Affordability is another factor that should be detrimental in determining what school you choose to attend. If you plan on going to college and graduating with $80,000 worth of student loans, you should choose a major that you know can pay off those student loans easily during your post-graduation years. Basically, if you know you want to be a doctor, going to a college with a high tuition isn't bad; but going to that same college with dreams of being a leech living on your parent's couch will not foot the bill.

Location might also play a role in deciding what college you want to attend. If you soaked up the Florida sun all of your life, you must consider if you really want to trade in your bikini for some snow boots so you can attend a college in North Dakota. For some of you that are stuck at the hip to your family, you might not want to go to college too far because the whole homesick thing is going to be a beast for you.

Once you have weighed all of your options and you have narrowed your college choices to your top five you should seriously consider going on campus tours. Visiting your college of choice's website and taking a virtual tour does not count. Those virtual tours tend to photoshop the realness of a college campus. When you do go on campus tours make sure you ask a lot of questions and absorb your surroundings. If you see that there are current students complaining about the school, you should think if you want to be those same people with those same complaints your freshman year. Go to as many college tours as you can and check the scenery to see what college campus makes you feel comfortable.

ORIENTATION

After you have been accepted and committed to a college you should be invited to an orientation. Orientation is a chance for you to get more acquainted with the college, build school spirit, possibly take placement tests, get your college identification card, and register for classes. This is a time where you will meet other first year students who are probably as frightened as you. Colleges handle orientations in different ways; however, they are generally run by current college students that attend the school.

During my friend's orientation she was a contestant in a dating show and she also attended a talent show. The orientation for the first college I attended was an overnight orientation. All of the students there for the orientation were broken down into smaller groups. We made up songs about the college and while we were in the cafeteria the different groups would sing their school spirited song. I, for one, was not into all of this so I pretty much skipped out on the whole singing bit. Needless to say, my bonding experience with my fellow freshmen during this orientation wasn't the best. After I covered the basics (placement tests and class registration) I left and hung out with my best friend because she was going through an orientation at a nearby college.

I do not recommend that you leave your orientation before it's over because orientation is the best way to meet new people. At the time I hadn't cocooned into a social butterfly so I left the orientation to avoid the awkwardness of hanging out with complete strangers all day. The second orientation I went to, after I transferred to another college, was perfect for me. It lasted only one day and it was pretty much straight to the point. We took our placement test, registered for classes, took a tour of the campus, played a couple of games, ate, and left.

BEFORE YOUR FINAL FAREWELL Another thing you should do before you start school is contact your future roommate because they will probably be your roommate for the next eight months of your life. You should get your roommates contact information through e-mail or mail. When you contact your roommate you might want to take this time to get to know her, but maybe not in a BFF kind of way. You should see where she is from, accept her as your friend on Facebook and see if the two of you have any similar interests.

After you and your new roomie have come to the realization that the two of you are die hard fans of Tyra Banks and Oprah Winfrey, you all might want to decide on who will bring the major appliances. There is no point in having two televisions and two miniature refrigerators to put into your minuscule dorm room. Before you and your new roomie go through your appliances checklist you might want to see what is prohibited in your dorm. Sorry ladies, some colleges don't allow appliances that have the possibility to set the dorm on fire (i.e. personal heaters, indoor grills, etc).

One last thing to do before you leave to go to college is dedicate some portion of your summer to say "farewell" to all your high school buds. This is a great time to just hang out and have the last little bit of fun before you embark on your college experience. Before you leave, if possible, rent out a local venue (or neighborhood club house) or beg your parents to let you borrow the basement and throw a going away party for all of your friends. If that is out of your budget, make it a point to have all of your high school friends meet up somewhere, like a local restaurant or theme park, to savor in the sweetness of high school memories.

Wishful Thinking....

If you and your friend from high school decide that you two want to be roommates, make sure you make mention of that when you apply for campus housing.

Apply to as many colleges as you would like, you would rather have more choices than be stuck with the college that is two steps away from your parent's house.

Start applying for scholarships early because it's free money. Scholarships are yours for the taking as long as you apply and get them. I suggest you visit websites dedicated to college scholarships and visit your school counselor for information pertaining to scholarships.

Since applying for scholarships can be time consuming you should create a timeline for how many scholarship applications you want to have done in a given time (two weeks) and stick to this goal. This will allow you to pace yourself so you will not feel so overwhelmed.

If your GPA is not the best make sure you have a great college entry letter, if required, and work with your literature teacher to work out the kinks.

Build a good relationship with your teachers, counselors, and faculty since you will probably need them to write your letter of recommendation for college.

MOVING IN AND THINGS TO BRING

I know you have seen the movies where a college student is moving her things in her dorm room and she is wearing a cute summer dress and five minutes and three boxes later she is done moving in all of her things. Well scratch that idea out of your head because the move in process is long and quite frankly, to me, it sucked. You will definitely want to wear comfortable clothes and make sure that whatever you wear you don't mind perspiring in. Unless you have Botox injections in your sweat glands, you may bust one mean sweat. Just imagine the summer heat, your family, you, and boxes full of your stuff in the trunk of a car waiting to be transported by hand to your dorm room.

Before you can move anything into your dorm room you may have to register yourself at your dorm building to get your dorm room number, your dorm key, and other paper work. If your dorm provides student parking (and you have already applied for on-campus student parking) at this time you may get your student parking decal and your parking space number if needed. One of the documents you might be given requires you to inspect your dorm room for any major flaws you see before you move in. Take this document seriously because if you don't notice that big tear in the carpet of your dorm room before you move in, you might be fined for it when you move out.

The atmosphere on move in day is a busy hustle of people trying to move their belongings into their closet size dorms. It can be a very crowded process and may take hours to actually get everything into your dorm room. Some colleges may provide big roll-able bins for you to put your things in and you can just catch the elevator up to your dorm floor. Other traditional older dorms may not necessarily be equipped with elevators and such, so this process of moving in may take more time and be a tad bit more difficult. So, for those of you moving your stuff to the fourth floor of a dorm building that has no elevators, have fun with that whole moving in thing.

You might want to invest in a hand trolley so it can make transporting heavy boxes a bit easier. You can get boxes from a moving company or you can ask for free boxes from your local grocery store because boxes are better for moving in than jumbo plastic bags. When using boxes make sure you label them; therefore, when you start unpacking you will know which box to start with. I would advise you to wake up at the crack of dawn and get an early start to your move in process. This way you can get a great parking spot under a shaded tree right by the entrance of your dorm building, or just a decent parking spot in general. If early is not your thing, just go to the registration table during the day and move your stuff into your dorm later on in the evening when the sun is going down. It will probably be less crowded during the latter part of the evening and the weather might be somewhat cooler.

TRADITIONAL DORMS

A traditional dorm consists of one room, two beds, and a few more furnishings (provided by the school) that can fit into your dorm room. With the whole roommate thing, the person who gets there last doesn't really have a say so in which bed they get. Would you really wait around for someone you don't even know to show up so the two of you can play "rock, paper, scissors" for the bed next to the window? Your best bet is to get there early and if you don't do anything else, just put your bed sheets, covers, and pillows on the bed you want and leave. Hey, maybe even throw in a box or two so it looks like you put forth the effort to start the move in process.

APARTMENT STYLE HOUSING

If you are moving into an apartment style dorm you will need to provide more of your own furnishings. You will need to bring your own shower curtain, a shower rug, and personal kitchen utensils. Even though you might be sharing the kitchen with three other females you still need to bring your own set of pots and pans. You will be mad if someone burns one of your pans because they do not know how to cook. You might also want to consider bringing a lamp for your room, just so you can have more than one lighting option for your dorm room. Basically, when you are packing just think of the things you would need if you were moving into an apartment that already has furniture. Also, don't forget the fact that you have your own room so take advantage of it and pack things that will let you get creative so you can give it your personal touch.

THINGS NOT TO FORGET TO PACK

Regardless of your living situation there are some things that you just absolutely need and might forget when packing. You need to make sure you pack some feminine products because you do not want your menstrual cycle to come and remind you that you forgot to pack some pads. Also, do not forget to pack some medicine like cough syrup, cold relief, headache relief, and menstrual relief. Do not forget your first aid kit; don't wait until you burn your neck with your curling iron for you to remember that you forgot to pack some band-aids and ointment.

There are some extra items you may want to consider packing, they are not a necessity but they might make dorm room living a tad bit more comfortable. You never know the lay-out of your dorm room so just to make sure you can plug in your ceramic flat iron on your side of the room, it would be imperative that you bring an extension cord. A floor rug is something that you might want to consider if your dorm room has tile floor because I doubt that tile will be heated in the winter. There is nothing worse than getting out of a warm and cozy bed and stepping onto a frosty tile floor in the morning. Ladies, I know this might sound vain but you might want to consider bringing a full length mirror. How else are you going to see how your clothes look on you from head-to-toe? Also, don't forget to bring your hair dryer or your blow dryer ... all hair types may not be able to handle the air dry route.

I know that you might have seen commercials and print ads for incoming college freshmen that advertise all the cool new gadgets and what-nots for dorm rooms. Don't get it twisted; all of the stuff that you see in those advertisements will not fit in your closet of a dorm room. So, you might want to hold off on those purchases until you know they are needed and can fit in your dorm room.

DIGITAL REALM

One thing I think is imperative to academic success is access to a computer, so you might want to consider investing in one. Just about every college campus should have a computer lab of some sort either on campus or in your dorm building. So for those of you that might not be able to budget in a computer, you will still have the ability to get your school work done and check your Facebook from time to time.

When buying a computer you might want to consider getting a laptop. One main reason is that it takes up less space than a desktop computer on your desk. Trust me when I say you will notice the lack of space when you have your big plasma screen of a monitor, a long keyboard, a pair of speakers, a mouse, and a mouse pad all fighting for space on your desk. If you decide to purchase a laptop you can take it to class with you and take notes and it's easier to transport when moving into your dorm. I can't say the same thing for those desktop computers, I personally didn't like lugging my monitor, cords, keyboard, hard drive, and speakers into my dorm and then setting it up.... that process was never fun.

Another thing to consider investing in is a good printer. Schools usually provide this service, although typically with a cost per page. There are some printers that also serve as a copier, hey the more functions the better. Instead of copying your classmates notes by hand, you can copy it with your copier. One thing that you will find is a college must-have is a portable USB Jump Drive. They are life savers when presenting Power Points in class and a great back up if you just happen to forget to bring your seven page essay to class; you can just print that paper in the computer lab on the way to class.

When moving in you do not want to overstuff your dorm room with things that are unnecessary and will not be used throughout the semester. Pack smart, the better you pack the least amount of trips you should make from your dorm room to the family car. Make sure you keep a positive attitude because technically your family and friends do not have to help you move in all of your stuff and I doubt that they are getting paid to help. Lastly, after you move into your dorm make a list of the things you need or may have forgotten and pass that note to your family.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Collegeby Lakisha Henderson Copyright © 2009 by Lakisha Henderson. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.