These feelings are just choices . . . not emotions, as you call them. Aren't they, T'narg? Emotions are energies in motion. You have chosen the way in which your energies will flow. You know that was your choice. Remember that emotions are best not confused with compassion, understanding and the empathy procured from wisdom. This is entirely different. We all feel alien and confused at times; at times we all search for a different path to happiness, one that promises more than the status quo. We feel this path must exist. Blessedly, it exists inside of each of us; by learning to ask the right questions, we will change our lives with the answers we find. In Conversation with a Duck, reverend and spiritual healer and councilor Grant A. Watson brings us an indispensible and universally accessible guide to finding joy and finding our true selves in the midst of the wild flow that is life. Framed as a candid, personal question-and-answer story between an ordinary seeker and a knowing teacher, Conversation with a Duck explores with us the essence of love, peace, faith and the evolution of the human experience. Through T'narg's honest and heartfelt searching, we find our own path out of frustration, out of grief and into, finally, being able to simply trust and be.

CONVERSATIONS WITH A DUCK

AND THE END OF SEPARATION!By Grant A. Watson (T'narg)

BALBOA PRESS

Copyright © 2011 Grant Allen Watson
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-0218-2

Chapter One

THE BURNING BUSH

It was just after 4:00 a.m. when I got up to go through my morning constitutional. I bathed and went to my little altar area to pray. This was a standard thing for me to do since I had returned from India some 8 years ago, where the practice of rising at 4:00 a.m., washing, praying, and then washing and praying before retiring at 9:00 in the evening was the norm. Sound familiar? Well, all of us know someone or have seen a documentary that has mentioned the ashrams of India, the spiritual trek, and its value or lack of it. I personally had an amazing experience at the hands of Sri Sathya Sai Baba, although that's another story. Let me get back to this one.

There were bright orange rays dancing across the lower fields and meadows when I finally donned my hat and walked out of the little wooden cabin that I had been so lucky to rent for the past few months. As I strolled further into the day, I could see the fight for life that life itself undertakes daily. The birds whistled their "Good day". I just waved, "Morning birdies". The sun's emergence had quickly fulfilled its purpose of reaching every tree, rock, and blade of grass. I noticed that it was going to be another hot day so I dragged down the front of my hat to shade my eyes a little from the sun, as it was now peering over a hill in front of me and its rays were eager to reach everything. It truly was a beautiful morning, with Mother Earth wearing her finest dress and with just the hint of makeup. She looked stunning as usual. I smiled and said, "Good morning, Mum!" with as much conscious intent and love as if I was actually talking to my own physical mother standing in the kitchen. With the warmest reply that only my Earth Mother could give, I felt her answer. The rush of ITLχITL (life force) up through my body made me again realise how supported we are by Mother and just how unsupported she is in every sense by most of us. I grimaced a little and then surmised, "The sooner the planet adopts a more matrifocal consciousness, becoming more nurturing in every way, the better off we will all be". As far as I could see, it was changing slowly; "I can only pray that it won't take too long," was my fleeting thought as I arrived at the pond.

I knelt low enough to scoop a hatful of water. The rain of the past few weeks had served well in maintaining its freshness, reminding me that it had been quite some time since I had come to this particular portion of the surrounding properties. As it was not really owned by anyone, it seemed more like a no-man's-land in the middle of all the acreages, and yet not fenced or seemingly tainted by title or deed. A great spot that was somewhat enchanted. It sat quietly in the western foothills, skirted by gums and low wattles covering about a hectare of land with lots of shade. The little tree and shrub-filled island in the middle was quite a picture with the light dancing across the top of its undulating foliage. Something felt funny or was different, but exactly what it was I was not sure. I sat down and opened the top of my small backpack, revealing some biscuits that (believe it or not) I'd baked myself. I popped one into my mouth, sucking it to an emptiness that provided room for another. I swigged more of the hat-held water, popped in another bickie, and lay down with my pack acting as a pillow. It was rather comfortable lying there against a large fallen gum tree. Day dreaming for some time, I warmly realised with a sigh that I was not so much tired as solemn and at total peace. I grunted, and yes, I dozed off.

The pond looked surreal. The little island was ablaze with the strangest lights. In the centre was a large tree-shrub, the likes of which I had never seen before. It looked as though it was on fire. In looking around, nothing was itself. It took on a brightness almost twice the norm and there was a lot of movement in my peripheries. I turned quickly to the left and was sure I saw something. Then I looked sharply to the right and there stood my dog, Sam. My heart jumped as I said, "Hi, girl, here, Sam". She ran straight to me and wagged her tail frantically while licking my hand and face and knocked my hat off. Just as fast as my heart had soared in joy at her arrival, it dived with fear and disbelief. Sam had died twelve years ago! "God! What's going on?" I yelled. Sam sat up straight like she'd always done when she thought I was cross. I looked down at her and said, "It's okay, girl". Patting her head, tears started to roll down my face. Was I dead? How I loved that dog. How I'd missed her. What's going on? She seems so real. "Boy, I don't feel so well," I thought. I sat down with the slump of my body, ushering Sam. She lay along my side with her head on my lap just as she had done so many times when she was alive. "Shit, this is unreal," was my next thought. Another large movement from my left side caused me again to turn quickly, only to see my Uncle Ross about ten feet away. I was startled, yet composed. Ross had died about eight years ago. I just looked at him, half wondering whether to say hello or not. I couldn't get over how well he looked. Then he said without turning, "Aren't you going to say hello, boy?"

"Nice to see you, mate," I said. "Hope you don't mind that I don't seem too thrilled to see you. It's just that I'm not feeling too good about this obvious visit to the other side, so to speak".

"You're alright, boy," said Ross. "You have always known, or at least spoken of your relationship with the departed. So you have known of your lineage connection spiritually to me. It should be no surprise to see me, boy!"

"Sure, Ross. I've spoken of the fact that I believed that you were on my team and that you were possibly still serving the living through many mediums including myself. But to see you now is not going to immediately confirm that all is as I particularly said it was".

Sitting astride the large gum that Sam and I were slumped next to, Ross said, "Always wanting confirmation, aren't you? You've been saying that you're a spirit having a human experience and not a human having a spiritual experience and yet, you're the only one who doesn't believe it".

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, consider that you are a lot more 'right' than you are wrong all the time, and then you might not be so unhappy. 'Right' for you and your relationship to you and your connections to the universe - not everybody else's connections, mind you! Yours!"

"Sure, that sounds good".

"Well, my boy, I wouldn't be telling you these things at this time to confuse you. Consider that your quest for self is just that! Your journey to find that elusive you is not going any further until you realise that you are already you! To quote you and what you usually say to others, 'You came with all you needed and God doesn't make mistakes. You are all you need to do this journey, having all the support you need, being equipped with all you require, in every way.' Yes".

"So why do I doubt this so much, Ross?"

"You don't! Those that you share with doubt themselves a little; you then take it the rest of the way, owning it as your own insecurity. Then in turn you develop all sorts of fears and imaginings that there might be something wrong with you. That's your level of sensing the energies around you. Try not to take it on".

"Well, we all do that, or at least some of us do".

"This is not about 'all' boy; it's about you!"

"I understand what you're saying, mate, but it just gets so hard to stay centred and on track, if you get my drift".

"Sure, boy, I get your drift! You need to understand that I have the greatest confidence in your evolutional progress, as do the rest of the beings working in your vibration, else you would not be and they would not be."

"So, who are the rest of them, Ross?"

"You know! They are with you often. You think of them regularly and they of you. You've worked with them and have known them all for a very long time."

"That's not an answer!"

"It is, boy, for now. Must go; someone else wants to say hello!"

"Hang on, Ross, where are you going?"

"Nowhere and everywhere, T'narg. I'll be here!"

I watched as Ross walked slowly away, realising in a minute how much of an influence that my mother's brother had been in my life, both physically and spiritually now. I already knew all this, but it was still a bit eerie to have it confirmed so physically. Ross had walked some distance from me when I heard a quiet voice say, "Say hi to your mum".

"No worries," was my reply from so far away. Our conversation had just taken place on yet another level again. "Wow," I thought, "there are a lot of communication lines in this universe of ours".

Then the cracked voice of my grandfather answered, "Sure are".

"Hi, Pop!" I yelled. Jumping to my feet and stumbling the distance between us, I fell into the frail frame of my old friend and sobbed.

"What's this? Hey, come on you, T'narg. You shouldn't be that shocked to see me or unaware of the fact that I have been here with you since I left. What is all this?"

"I'm sorry, Pop, but it's a bit overwhelming to see you, that's all".

"Well it's nice to see you too T'narg and don't ever be sorry for who you are. Settle now, you really do see me quite often, if you remember. Like when you ask me questions about things for you and when you ask questions for your friends. You have said on many occasions that you knew it was me that you were talking to!

"I know. It's well, it's just pretty nice to have you here like this, okay?!"

"Sure".

I dried my eyes, grabbed my hat and sat on the log next to Pop. Sam sat beside me again and we both looked at Pop as he said,

"The thing is, I'm here like this to remind you that, in your own words, 'they don't go too far from you all. When they leave, they only leave the physical realm, thus the newly departed are still an inaugural part of your world and the things that affect us in our everyday lives.' You say, 'Listen to the words in that song, remember the odd fragrance and the memories it evokes, that phrase and even the unconsciously spoken 'one liner' can be a sign that they are here and are in contact'".

"I know this Pop. It's just that, perhaps I've lost trust, I don't know where to turn anymore!"

"We know, that's why you are having this experience. You have prayed long and hard for the insights to alleviate these doubts and fears in this life. Well, here they are, by us reminding you of the very important point and position you hold in the bigger picture of things, encouraging you to relate to that inner knowing of yours. We on this side of your existence believe this event will help give strength to your faith and assist you with the events before you in this New Millennium with its enormous colours, vibrations and energies! You need to affirm consciously in order to do the work required that we are all here and will always be here to assist. It is our work to support your work. Believe what you would do if you suddenly left. You would not go until you helped your family, then we can't leave you either.

"I know Pop!"

We chatted for a while longer. It was surreal to be chatting like there had been no time or events between his death and now. Then suddenly Pop stood and walked off into distance.

"So what's next?" I yelled out to him.

"You need do nothing, mate. Just sit back, relax and leave the rest to your support team!"

"Sure, bye!"

I thought deeply about all of the things Ross and Pop had said and I was deep in the feelings their words evoked. A few moments of thought later I noticed that Sam was gone. I stood up and looked around for her. I was just about to call her name aloud, when a still and very deep voice asked,

"What are you looking for?"

"My dog," I replied, without turning in the direction of the inquirer.

"Why?"

"Cause I want to be with her!"

"You are and always have been!"

Noticing that this was yet another familiar voice, I turned to face whoever it was that was stating the obvious, only to find that the shrub in the middle of the island was almost on fire or at least it looked like it was. In fact, it had taken on an outer shape of some sort of being ... I suddenly felt quite shaky!

"What's wrong T'narg?"

"I don't know ... I just ... who are you?"

"I'm you"

I slumped back onto the log and just stared at this shimmering form and then said nervously,

"Come on, who are you?"

"I'm you, or at least the spirit form of you".

"What do you mean the spirit form of me?"

"I am that which is the essence of all, of that which you are. The divine part that you believe yourself to be. That piece of the eternal flame that you have said, 'All beings are within'."

"Sure you are!"

It was then that I realised that this being's voice was sort of my voice or vibrating from within me.

"T'narg, trust! What then would you ask of that which you are?"

"Okay. What am I doing here? I mean in this life".

"You asked to come. You requested to bring this aspect of universal consciousness to the Earth to assist at this time in the evolutionary process of the human race. The transmutation of an evolutionary piece of the natural process of life within the universe!"

"I asked?"

"Well okay, technically, I asked. You know though, and are deeply aware that we are 'one' for this journey".

"Yeah, so I believe."

"T'narg, you say that you are tired of this life, wishing that it would shift in some fashion. I would ask you to understand that you have done wonderful work both consciously and unconsciously. Your efforts to connect to me, that greater part of yourself, for the benefit of others is well noticed in the spirit world. We on this level realise that the increase in vibration at this time is not easy, that you get lost and exhausted, despondent and lose focus. So much so that sometimes you get so low that we can't, or at least we find it difficult, to reach you. Almost as difficult as you feel it is in those dark times to reach us".

"How?"

"Well, when you dive really deep into depression on the human side of your experience, you enter the lowest vibrations you can, that we on this side have left far behind. It's difficult for us to get to you when you feel so unsupported as you sometimes do within those vibrations. You've noticed that when you're up and have hope and faith, or at least, as you call it, your powers of manifestation are up, events and needs in your life manifest in an almost magical way. But, when you're too low, they stop, or you seem to function in a less positive manner. Consider in those times that we have not left you; it's more that you have left us. This is the purpose of this exchange with you now. You need to know in these coming times that consciousness in your world is intensifying and for you it is essential that you believe that we, on this side, support your every effort, asking only that you continue your work. Then the veils between us will continue to dwindle. Spend as much regular time morning and night for our contact and our work as you already are, then the colour vibrations in and around you will begin to be as obvious to others as they are to us!"

(Continues...)

Excerpted from CONVERSATIONS WITH A DUCKby Grant A. Watson (T'narg) Copyright © 2011 by Grant Allen Watson. Excerpted by permission of BALBOA PRESS. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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