Influence From The Inside Out

Jon Berghoff

Making History

Wow! A historical election, a once in a millennium economic crisis, housing busts, the energy crisis. Pick your passion, pick your poison; history is being made at every turn, right now. War, going green, Brittany Spears, I-Phones, you name it; we can say with certainty that this period of time will be referred to as a turning point for humanity.

Your reason for opening this book may not have been to make history, but at a time when so many others are finding comfort in standing on the sidelines, placing blame, making excuses, and sharing in the fear inflated rhetoric of today's business economy, I find it even more worthy of a reminder to stand out. Not only does the world need and want business leaders, but the rewards for doing so will rise, while so many others act in fear, during turbulent times.

Here are some of the most important questions to ask yourself right now:

• How are you making your own history right now?

• Are you creating your own defining moments every single day?

• What are you doing that will make this time in your life worth telling your grandchildren about one day?

• How are you rising above mediocrity, the masses and fear-based thinking to create your own rhythm of success?

I want to acknowledge you for picking up this book, because whether intentional or not, the purchase of this book will change history for those whom its royalties are supporting through charitable causes. I honor you for your personal journey, and look forward to learning from you one day soon. From one salesperson, business owner and entrepreneur to another, I sincerely hope the content of this book will provide you with the tools, ideas and inspiration to help you shape your own personal and/or professional history.

Every Master Was Once ...

A disaster.

That's what I was. At the age of 17, I was on the verge of getting "permanently uninvited" or as most people know it, expelled from my high school. I allegedly didn't learn the way my teachers taught. I simply didn't value my education at the level I should have.

The story I learned to tell myself was that I couldn't focus, wasn't a good learner and couldn't fit in. Doctors told me it was okay to believe that I had a problem focusing. I was rejected from every university I applied to. It only made sense to keep believing my story. I wasn't destined for anything great.

The true turning point and defining moment came when a friend of mine introduced me to an opportunity selling Cutco kitchen knives. I had never sold anything and knew nothing about kitchen products. I had no reason to be selling knives. So, of course, I quit my job at the local golf course, and signed up to sell Cutco knives.

During the interview, they presented the pay structure. I would get paid, not based on what I wanted or somebody else's perception of my value, but strictly on what I deserved, or the results I showed.

"This is how life works," I thought to myself.

Life responds to deserve, not want or need. I tuned in.

My first manager and mentor, Dan Casetta (also a contributor to this book), taught me a valuable lesson that tapped into a seed that my parents had been planting for many years.

"Your income will seldom exceed your level of personal development," Dan said to me, one week into the job.

My father always taught me to learn something from everything, and now, I was finally seeing the connection between knowledge and wealth - the connection between learning today and earning tomorrow.

Looking Back

A decade later, I look back at what Dan's wisdom, combined with my Cutco experience, has brought me.

With Cutco, I became the national sales champion my first full year in the business and went on to be the youngest and fastest person to be inducted into the company Hall of Fame. After leaving Cutco, I paralleled my success in two more, completely unrelated industries, and have now taught my life and business lessons to tens of thousands of small business owners and sales professionals across the globe.

As previously mentioned, I've also been told I was an idiot, unable to learn — let alone teach — and not a good learner. Just reminding you that where you have been, where you are, and what others say about you, need not reflect where you are going.

I've had over 5,500 customers, clients and prospects say "yes" after being asked to buy something that I or one of my teams was selling. Every lesson I've learned — whether I was selling kitchen knives, corporate health club memberships, high end furniture, websites, software, real estate or my own coaching and training services — falls under one very important category: Influence.

Influence Is an "Inside-Out" Job

Beyond my own successes and failures, through the careful observation of the most successful sales professionals in the world, I've noticed a commonality in perspective on influence. Great influencers — whether they be the salesperson, manager, leader, entrepreneur, parent, coach, trainer or speaker — place an equal importance on their ability to not only influence others, but also to influence themselves.

In my seminars, I often remind my students that influence — in selling, managing, teaching, leading, attracting customers — is an energy sport. The person with the most powerful energy — certainty, conviction, passion, enthusiasm — usually walks away with the sale. The energy of influence starts from within. Remember, we can't give what we don't have.

As great influencers put importance on both the self and others, when they approach influence, neither is more or less important. They both play a role in every success and failure that we create. They both deserve equal attention in our quest to improve as sales professionals, business owners, teachers, trainers, coaches, managers, and leaders — as influencers.

Influencing the Self: Rights, Responsibilities, Realities

Success Is Your Birthright-With a Catch

Life operates in seasons. As people, in our businesses, in the economy, in relationships, in nature, seasons are continually changing. We move from spring through the summer into autumn and winter. When in the winter of life, sometimes we need critical reminders that allow us to influence the self to take action.

Whether you are currently harvesting great success, or working through a personal or professional winter, you might enjoy the following reminder. It has motivated me many times.

In 1910, Wallace Wattles reminded us in "The Science of Getting Rich" that we not only have the right to be successful, but that the world wants us to be successful. How do we know this?

It's simple.

If you were to envision yourself successful, prosperous and wealthy beyond your wildest imagination as a result of running a successful business, think about how you got there. To be really successful, what would you have done along the way? Do you see it yet? Do you see why the world wants you to be wealthy?

If you were to walk backwards from your future vision of wild success, notice that in order to get there, you had to have helped many others along the way, by creating immense value, whether it be through your product, ideas, leadership, teachings or services.

As Zig Ziglar taught long ago, "If you help enough people get what they want, you'll have whatever you want." Success — wealth, riches, prosperity — is not only your birthright, but the world wants it for you.

This is why it's simple — your personal success will always be in proportion to the value that you provide to the world, and that's the catch. You have the right to be successful, if you give something in return.

The Responsibility Choice: None, Some or Total Ownership

The fact that you are reading this book says that you, an influencer — salesperson, business owner, entrepreneur, coach or leader — are likely NOT in the category of 'no ownership,' meaning you take no responsibility for your results. That leaves two choices: 'Some ownership' or 'total ownership.'

Most of us have been conditioned to only take "some ownership" over our results. You may notice that whenever a controversial political, economic or social issue crops up, people are quick to place blame. But remember, fault is a low intelligence concept.

Earl Nightingale said in the 1950s, "To be successful, we must look at what everybody else is doing and consider doing the opposite." Look at those who blame others. Look at those who blame the economy. Look at those who blame their product, their circumstances, their family, their background, their shortcomings, the weather, Paris Hilton and everything else they can think up, for poor results.

Consider doing the opposite. Consider joining the few who really do choose to take total ownership over their results. You will be given the riches that the many who only take "some ownership" will never find.

Be willing to own ALL your results, good and bad. Great presenters succeed by intentionally crafting their messages and when they fail, they convert objection and rejection into the perfect opportunity to redraft their message. They own the result.

Be willing to own ALL the results of your team, as a leader, good and bad. Great leaders look across the hall when things go well and say "you did it" and look inside when things don't go well and say "I did it." They own the result, especially when things don't go well.

Bottom line, as my good friend Hal Elrod (also a contributor to this book) taught me, to the degree that you take responsibility for everything in your life, you will be able to change anything in your life.

Great influencers settle for nothing but total responsibility.

Lessons about Reality: Learned At Extreme Angles

I'm a fanatical motorcyclist, so much so that I've hired, on more than one occasion, the best advanced riding instructor my money could find: Jim Ford, the Zen Motorcycle Man.

Why does this matter to you?

I've found, with great appreciation, that many of the lessons Jim teaches me about high performance motorcycling, while we wind through the beautiful, yet technical twists and curves of our classroom — the roads of the Appalachian mountains — seem to remind me of the lessons that I've found critical to selling and business success.

At high speeds and tight lean angles, trying to fly a 500-plus pound machine along the perfect line of a twisty curve, at precisely the right RPM, while also being fully present to the conditions, risks and dangers of the environment, can be stimulating beyond what words can describe. The need for constant mental focus combined with the battle between the little voices in my head when things get challenging, bring me back to the lessons I learned selling.

One of the most profound, yet simple lessons, is the following idea: we go where we look.

When Jim reminds me through our in-helmet, wireless communication system, that I simply need to look where I want to go, I know that this simple advice has saved my butt from allowing fear — False Expectation Appearing Real — to overcome my ability to stay focused and not bail out of a tight turn.

It is true in motorcycling, as it is in sales and in business, that we run the risk of getting tense, losing focus and imagining what we don't want, whenever we sense we are heading into danger.

You've probably heard the idea that what we focus on expands. What we appreciate will appreciate. It's all the same lesson.

Here is the bottom line: In sales and in business — and motorcycling — there are challenges. They are inevitable. If you are on a path with no challenges, the rewards probably won't be very exciting either. The greatest distinction between those who grow from the challenges and those who shrink — or those who crash vs. those who glide through them- is where they are looking while they are in the middle of it all. This is influencing the Self at its greatest.

Where do you look? Do you look at the opportunity or the challenge? Do you see how you can grow, learn, and expand from each set back? Challenges never leave us in the same place. We either move forward or backward — but never stay the same. The difference between which direction you go ... is where you look.

Another Application of Jim's Lesson

I would go out on a limb and say that Jim's teaching — you go where you look — could even be used to predict your likelihood of succeeding in the "new economy" in less than two minutes. This is a great self-study in how you regularly influence yourself. All you have to do is pay attention to how you feel when I make the following statement: "In this book you will be given one idea that will absolutely change your life or your business forever."

How did you respond to this statement? Did you "move away from it" with doubt, hesitation, skepticism or pessimism? Or ... Did you "move towards it" with proactive anticipation, energy to take action, anticipation and enthusiasm? (I'm hoping this is the more likely option.)

The reason I ask is because of one simple Life Principle: How you do one thing is often how you do everything. How does this apply to the above statement that I made?

The above statement is a reflection of how you approach potential opportunities. I said that you will be given one idea in this book that will change your life, which was nothing more than an example of a potential opportunity. Regardless of what is in this book, your conditioned response to the statement (moving towards or away from), is generally reflective of how you approach any and every new opportunity.

Why does all this matter? In the "new economy" (down economy, recession, depression ... whatever you want to call it), only those who seek — move towards, embrace and get excited about-the opportunities within the challenges, will actually thrive, let alone survive.

As I shared with a client recently, if people are jumping out of the window because the economy is freaking them out, I simply need to influence myself to focus on being the guy who sells the mattresses that they land on. Get it yet?

Remember, where you look, you will go.

Influencing Others: Lessons from Fiji Water, Late Night Television, My Wife

Every Book is Judged By its Cover

If I took a bottle of Fiji water and I asked you how much somebody would pay for the water, you would have to answer somewhere between $2 and $3. If I took the same water, poured it into a generic, Styrofoam cup and asked you, "How much would somebody pay for this water?", the answer now shifts, likely to free.

Here is the critical question: What determines the value? Is it the content or the packaging of the content — the context — that determines the "perceived value" of the water? This is a big picture lesson on influence that I apply to every type of communication.

As a leader or manager, for example, the end value of every important conversation you want to have will be determined not only by the content of the conversation, but by the context that you set, as you bring somebody into the conversation.

Do you prepare ahead of time? Are you sending out an agenda before the meeting? Do you have your critical points in writing to hand out during the meeting? Do you take interruptions during the meeting? Do you acknowledge the thoughts, feelings, experiences of your audience before you start the meeting?

Your answers to these questions are all about the kind of context you set. Everything you do and/or communicate before and at the beginning of every conversation sets up the context for the rest of the conversation. Being prepared, not allowing interruptions, looking somebody in the eyes, creating ways for ideas to be documented and tracked, are all examples of strengthening the value of your conversations.

You sell an expensive, high dollar service or product. Are you waiting until your prospect objects or are you conscientiously building into your conversation — at the very beginning — why your price is actually appreciated by your current customers? Are you allowing your prospect to mention your competitors, or do you intentionally bring up your competitors — before the prospect — and talk about why they are great, and also why your customers appreciate you above your competitors. Do you see the difference when you set the right context? This is influence in action.

In a selling situation, look at every objection as a learning experience. A consistent objection is a symptom of a presentation that should be adjusted. View the adjustment as a way of setting the context, through which your customer will see the content — your product — a little differently. Dan Casetta does a fantastic job in his chapter of talking about "framing," which is an example of setting the context.

How you bring somebody into a conversation — regardless of setting — determines the value of and perception of the rest of the conversation. Think carefully about the way you package your every communication. People do judge books by their covers.