The Doctors Book of Humorous Quotations, 1e

This entertaining book presents hundreds of humorous jokes, quotations, and one-liners compiled from a variety of sources (medical literature, books, magazines, the internet, movies, television, remarks made at conferences or rounds, lectures, comic routines). The text is organized alphabetically allowing readers to browse through the book randomly, or focus on particular topics of interest. Sample subject headings include Academia, Aphorisms, Atrophy, Bedside Manner, Beepers, Case Reports, Chicken Soup, Dieting, Epitaphs, Fatigue, Health Food, Insanity, Jogging, Lab Tests, Lawyers, Middle Age, Motherhood, Night Calls, Obesity, Phobias, Quacks, Retirement, Snoring, Teenagers, Turfing, Ulcers, Vacations, Wellness, Zoonoses. There is cross-referencing throughout the book for easy location of additional topics of interest.

A

Abscess
Academia
Accidents
Acupunture
Acute
Adhesive Tape
Administration (See Hospital Administration)
Adolescence
Adoption
Advice
Aging (See Old Age)
Alcohol
Allergy
Alternative Medicine (See Acupuncture, Chiropractors, Homeopathy)
Alzheimers Disease
American Medical Association
Amnesia
Anatomy
Anemia (See Iron Deficiency)
Anesthesia
Anorexia
Antibiotics
Anxiety
Aphorisms
Appendix
Appointments
Arteries
Arthritis
Artificial Insemination
Art of Medicine
Aspirin
Asthma
Atrophy
Attendings
Autopsy

B

Babies
Backache
Bacteria
Baldness
Bedside Manner
Bedwetting
Beepers
Behavior Management
Bills
Biochemistry (See Krebs Cycle)
Biologic Clock
Birth Control
Birth Marks
Blood & Blood Drawing
Bodily Fluids
Body
Brain
Breast Exams
Breast Feeding

C

Cadavers
Caffeine
Cancer
Cardiac Arrest
Cardiac Surgery
Cardiology
Case Presentations
Case Reports
CAT Scans
Cephalosporins
Chest Pain
Chicken Soup
Chief Resident
Childbirth
Children
Child Support
Chiropractors
Cholesterol
Chronic
Circumcision
Clinical Observations
Clinical Practice Guidelines
Cloning
Club Foot
Codependent
Colds (See Common Cold)
Colon
Colonoscopy
Committees
Common Cold
Compliance
Complications
Compulsive Behavior (See Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior)
Computers
Condoms
Conferences (See Continuing Medical Education)
Conjunctivitis
Constipation
Continuing Medical Education
Coroner
Cough
CPR (See Cardiac Arrest)
C-Sections

D

Death
Depression
Dermatology
Diagnosis
Diapers
Diaphragm
Diarrhea
Dieting
Diploma
Disabilities (See Handicaps)
Disease
Divorce
Doctor-Patient Communication
Doctors
Drinking (See Alcohol)
Drug Abuse
Drug Representatives
Drugs
Drug Stores

E

Ear, Nose & Throat
Education
EKG
Emergencies
Emergency Medicine
Endocrinology
Endoscopy
Epidemiology
Epitaphs (See Last Words)
Ethics
Exercise
Experience
Eyes (See Ophthalmology)

F

Face Lifts
Family
Family Practice
Fat (See Cholesterol)
Fatherhood
Fatigue
Fees (See Bills)
Fever
First Aid
Flatus
Food
Foreign Body
Fractures
Freud

G

Gall Bladder
Gas (See Flatus)
Gastrointestinal Tract
Generalist
Genetics
Geriatrics
Glasses
Gout
Grand Rounds
Grants
Gynecology

H

Habits
Handicaps
Headaches
Health
Health Care Books
Health Care Costs
Health Care Reform
Health Food
Health Insurance
Hearing Loss
Heart
Heartburn (See Indigestion)
Heimlich Maneuver
Hematology
Hemorrhoids
Hepatitis
Heredity
Hernias
Hiccups
High Blood Pressure
Hippocrates
History & Physical Examination
HMOs (See Managed Care)
Homeopathy
Hospital Administration
Hospitals
House Calls
Humor
Hypochondriacs
Hypothalamus

I

Illness
Impotence
Indigestion
Infectious Disease
Infertility
Influenza
Informed Consent
Injuries (See Accidents)
Innovations
Insanity
Insomnia
Insurance (See Health Insurance, Life Insurance)
Intensive Care
Internal Medicine
Internship & Residency
Iron Deficiency
Itching
IVs

J

Jargon
Jogging

K

Kidneys
Knees
Krebs Cycle

L

Lab Tests
Laughter
Lawyers
Lectures
Life
Life Insurance
Liposuction
Liver
Longevity
Lungs
Lyme Disease

M

Malpractice
Mammograms
Managed Care
Marriage
Masturbation
Media
Medical Education (See Education)
Medical Literature
Medical Practice
Medical Records
Medical School
Medical Students
Medicare
Meetings (See Committees)
Memory
Menopause
Menstruation
Mental Status
Microbiology (See Bacteria)
Middle Age
Morbidity & Mortality Conference
Motherhood
Multiple Personality Disorder
Mumps
Munchausens Syndrome
Murphys Laws

N

Nephrology
Neurology
Neurosurgery
Neurotics
Night Call
Nose Jobs
Nurses
Nursing Homes
Nutrition (See Food)

O

Obesity
Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior
Obstetrics
Old Age
Oncology (See Cancer)
Ophthalmology
Orthopedics
Osteopaths
Otolaryngology (See Ear, Nose & Throat)

P

Pain
Pancreas
Paperwork
Paranoid (See Personality Disorders)
Parenting
Pathology
Patients & Patient Care
Pearls
Pediatrics
Pelvic Exams
Penis
Personality Disorders
Pharmacists
Phobias
Physical Diagnosis
Pimping
Placebos
Plastic Surgery
PMDs
PMS
Pregnancy
Primary Care
Procedures
Proctology
Prostate Gland
Psychiatry
Psychoanalysis
Psychology
Pulmonary Medicine (See Lungs)

Q

Quacks

R

Radiology
Rectal Examination
Research
Residency (See Internship & Residency)
Retirement
Rheumatology
Roundsmanship

S

Scaring
Science & Scientists
Schizophrenia
Scut
Second Opinions
Self Help
Sex
Sex Education
Sexually Transmitted Disease (See Venereal Disease)
Sleep
Smoking
Sneezing (See Allergy)
Snoring
Sore Throat (See Strep Throat)
Specialists
Spinal Taps
Spine
Spleen
Sports Medicine
Statistics
Stethoscope
Strep Throat
Stress
Suicide
Superego
Surgeon General
Surgeons
Surgery
Symptoms

T

Teaching (See Education)
Teenagers (See Adolescence)
Teeth
Tenure
Thumb Sucking
Toilet Training
Tonsils (See Strep Throat)
Transplantation
Treatment
Turfing
TV Doctors

U

Ulcers
Umbilical Cord
Urine
Urology
Uterus

V

Vacations
Vagina
VA Hospitals
Varicose Veins
Vasectomy
Vegetarians
Venereal Disease
Venipuncture (See Blood & Blood Drawing)
Virus
Vitamins
Vomiting

W

Waiting Room
Ward Clerks
Wellness
Writing & Publishing

X

X-Rays

Y

Youth

Z

Zoonoses