Do you ever wonder whether you are living life to your potential? Do you sometimes feel as though you are standing on a busy street corner while the rest of the world is engaged in meaningful activities? Do you feel like you are being carried or sometimes even dragged along by life's trials and challenges? Now you can get motivated and take action toward accomplishing your goals. Empower Your Life: Finding Greater Motivation Within provides real-world solutions and creative tools to help empower your life and motivate you to action. Author Bradley D. Castle offers unique insights and guidelines that can help you accomplish your goals and overcome challenges. In this helpful guidebook, you will discover the following: Motivational activities designed to drive you toward achieving your goals Creative methods that discipline your mind to overcome negativity and build positive thought patterns that push you toward accomplishment Techniques to help you increase your driving force and view obstacles as stepping stones to your dreams Step-by-step advice on how to be a powerful influence to motivate and inspire others Effective and powerful strategies that can help you to create an environment where you can be successful Empower Your Life: Finding Greater Motivation Within provides valuable guidance to help you maximize your skills, gifts, and talents to empower your life.
EMPOWER YOUR LIFE
FINDING GREATER MOTIVATION WITHINBy BRADLEY D. CASTLEiUniverse, Inc.
Copyright © 2013 Bradley D. Castle
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4620-5056-7Contents
Acknowledgments...............................................................ixAbout the Author..............................................................xiPreface.......................................................................xiiiChapter 1: The Power of Motivation............................................1Chapter 2: Motivation in Personal Connections.................................7Chapter 3: The Journey Can Be Motivating......................................12Chapter 4: Work for Success...................................................23Chapter 5: Learning from Struggle.............................................27Chapter 6: Expectations.......................................................30Chapter 7: Learning from Failures.............................................34Chapter 8: Value of Service...................................................39Chapter 9: Critical Decisions.................................................46Chapter 10: Advice on Employment and Education................................50Chapter 11: Learning Success..................................................56Chapter 12: Time Is on Your Side..............................................60Chapter 13: Personal Accountability...........................................63Chapter 14: The Fear of Failure...............................................66Chapter 15: Influencing Your Environment......................................69Chapter 16: Be a Positive Influence through Communication.....................74Chapter 17: The Danger of Negative Criticism..................................77Chapter 18: Exercising a Positive Attitude....................................80Chapter 19: Choosing Your Environment.........................................82Chapter 20: Being a Strength to Others........................................86Chapter 21: Leadership in All Things..........................................89Chapter 22: The Power of Optimism.............................................91Chapter 23: The Alter Egos of Leadership......................................93Chapter 24: The Value of Change...............................................96Chapter 25: Defining Success..................................................99Chapter 26: Focus and Sacrifice...............................................105Chapter 27: The Starting Line.................................................108Chapter 28: Taking Concrete Action............................................110Index.........................................................................113Resources.....................................................................119My Notes......................................................................129
Chapter One
The Power of Motivation
The first thing I want to do is explore the power of motivation. How can motivation change your life? Does being motivated really affect your level of happiness or ability to reach what you would consider success? To answer these questions, you must look at your past experiences to contrast and compare those moments in your life when you were motivated. Did you accomplish more than you thought you could? Did you find fulfillment doing things that you otherwise would not have enjoyed? Often we spend so much time focusing on our future goals that we forget our past experiences, how much we already have accomplished, and how we overcame the challenges we have already faced. It is vital that you take the time to remember. Remember those defining moments in your life and the circumstances surrounding the experience. Include even the little things because we know that by small and simple things, great things can be accomplished.
I would like to share some of my past experiences to hopefully ignite the fire within you as we explore some of the little and big things that have helped me understand the power of motivation. One of my first experiences with being motivated to reach a goal happened when I was only five years old. My twin brother and I learned about a beverage company's promotional giveaway that promised prizes, including a dirt bike. I had seven siblings, and money was not in abundance for my family at that time. I knew that the only way I was going to get a bike was to win this prize, even if it meant sharing it with my brother. In order to win this bike, we had to collect bottle caps. On the inside of each bottle cap was a letter of the alphabet, and we had to collect the correct letters to spell a five—or six-word phrase. For the next couple of months, I was extremely excited about the prospect of winning the bike.
Every morning and afternoon, as I walked to and from elementary school, which was about a fifteen-minute walk, I would look for bottle caps along the side of the road. I was amazed at how many people would pop the cap of their soda bottles and throw the cap out of the window of the car as they drove along this road. After a few months of collecting caps, we had the entire phrase spelled out with the exception of one letter. As the deadline approached, we spent hours after school walking the neighborhood roads to find this last letter, sifting through discarded bottle caps.
When I look back at this experience, I realize that at five years old, I did not have any ambitions in life beyond having fun with neighborhood friends. But as soon as I envisioned winning this bike, I became a very motivated child, working hard every day to collect the letters from the bottle caps I needed. My brother and I never actually found that last letter before the promo expired, but I would have done it again if given the opportunity. I learned a valuable lesson in life about the power of motivation and the role that having a goal can play as a catalyst for action. I went from only being interested in the day-to-day activities of a child to having a burning desire to accomplish something that, at the time, I considered great. I also enjoyed the work. It was fun and exciting collecting these bottle caps. I would be outside in the hot sun and heat of a Florida day, doing something that some people would consider too challenging and too difficult for a five-year-old, but I considered the work to be the most exciting part of my day. I believe that if you can identify that motivating factor in your life, mundane work can become the most exciting part of your day. So many of us underestimate the power of motivation and overlook the potential we have to find purpose in our daily tasks as we labor to reach our goals.
Many of us have identified areas in our lives that we want to improve and have set goals that we want to accomplish. To reach these goals, we must change how we do things. However, it can be difficult to find the motivation within to make that change a reality. How often do we think about all the things that we could potentially accomplish without having a clear plan for moving forward. We often want to make change. The desire is there to make the change, but something is holding us back. Something is preventing you from taking the next step forward. I urge you to seize the day and move forward with the notion that now is the time to act.
I recall a story of a young teenage boy who felt lost in his life. He felt alone sitting on the bench of an almost deserted park, wondering where his life was going. He felt he was no good to himself and was doing no good for anyone else. As he sat in despair and utter loneliness, he thought about how he had walked out on his family and made several poor choices, thinking little about the consequences of his actions. While the poor choices he made seemed to meet an immediate desire at the time, he realized he had given up what he wanted most for something he wanted now. However, in the corner of his eye, he caught the glimpse of an artist painting a portrait. The artist seemed to be looking in his direction as he worked. Out of curiosity, the boy asked the artist what he was painting. The artist responded by suggesting that he was painting a picture of the boy and asked if he wanted to see the portrait. The boy looked at the picture and exclaimed that it looked nothing like him. The painter responded that the picture did not depict what the boy looked like today. The picture focused less on the main physical features but more on subtle changes that came from overcoming challenges, personal growth, and character development. The painter began to explain how he depicted the boy with his chin held a little higher with confidence and a gaze that affirmed he knew where he was going, with shoulders back and head held high. As the boy focused more on the possibilities of his future in the painting, he began to see his potential. The painting portrayed the potential of this boy's future, which he struggled to see in himself. Like this boy in the story, many of us know we want change but have difficulty recognizing our potential. We may even try to focus on the exterior with trendier clothing, radical hairstyles, or other extreme changes to the way we look physically. However, changes that take place within can have a greater impact on our countenance. Take the time to reflect on your life and paint a picture of who you want to become. Become the person you have always wanted to become, not in an artificial way but with a real sense of your internal worth based on a genuine assessment of your potential. Draw a picture of yourself in your mind's eye, but don't focus on the surface. Focus on what changes can be made within to enrich your intrinsic value and self-worth.
Understanding what you truly want out of life will give you a sense of direction. Make the decision to change your way of life. We sometimes set lofty goals, and when we don't meet those goals, we give up and end up back where we started. Don't focus on the goal itself. Focus on the journey and the habits that you will need to change to reach the goal. Focus on the lifestyle change it will take to meet the goal. In other words, you must look before the goal and consider the changes needed to form new routines. A quality of life does not come from just meeting every single goal you have set for yourself. A quality of life comes from living the life you have chosen. The problem with just setting goals is that we often reach the goal and then cross it off a list and forget about our goals over time, reverting back to the place where we started. However, when we change our habits and routines, those changes become parts of our lives in such a way that we no longer have to focus on outcomes because the actions are engrained in our behaviors and bring about the desired result.
Dig deep within to find what motivates you, and you will have the tools that drive you forward. Digging deep is not just a metaphor for finding strength within, it is literal. How much time have you really spent pondering your life? How much of that time is spent thinking about the mistakes you have made or the strengths that you wish you had? I would venture to say that most of us spend more time thinking about what we don't have as opposed to what we do have. One of the most effective ways to dig deep is to spend more time expressing gratitude for what you do have, considering your strengths, and remembering the things you have accomplished, the things that have motivated you in the past, and activities that have brought joy into your life. I recommend you move forward using the following approaches:
• Self-reflection: Set some time aside to assess your life and what you want to become. Whether you need a weeklong retreat in a secluded place or a couple of days or hours, set time aside to ponder and spend quality time reflecting on your life, uninhibited from outside distractions. The purpose of this exercise is not to dwell on yourself in a selfish way but to consider the important things in life, recognizing with gratitude what you have to offer others and reassessing your life as you move forward.
• Put it in writing: When you start to catch the vision of your future, put it in writing to establish for yourself the way forward. The act of writing your ideas down will also spur greater reflection and allow you to more deeply understand yourself. You will gain a peace of mind, knowing that you have articulated and, to some degree, come to terms with yourself on what you want your future to look like. Of course, writing this down doesn't mean it will automatically happen. You will need to have some follow-through, flexibility, and perseverance. However, as you begin establishing your intentions, you will find value in going through this process to shift your priorities. This will provide clarity to help you identify the path that leads to your goals.
• Discuss your intentions with others: I have seen and experienced a great deal of success from people who not only write down their self-reflections but have an open discussion with their friends and family. Whether you have this discussion with a spouse, family, or friends, exchanging ideas provides a strong anchor for taking the next step in reaching your goals. This also provides a means for you to build a strong bond with the people who support you in your efforts. It may also help you discern and identify those who may not provide the support you are looking for (more on that later). Nevertheless, as you discuss your motivations with others, they will share with you their motivations. You can create bonds when others feel you are listening to them and when you express genuine care for who they are and what they want to get out of life. Try this with your family. Children get excited about the future when they know that their parents are interested in their lives and want to help them accomplish their goals, as small as they may seem. As you have these discussions with others, pondering the purpose behind your actions, you will discover more meaningful activities and overcome the state of "going through the motions."
Chapter Two
Motivation in Personal Connections
How many activities do we engage in because of our care and concern for others? How many changes do we make in our own lives because of others? Is it healthy to make changes because you want to make someone else happy? The answer is it can be. However, I want to make the clear distinction between manipulating a situation to get what you want and doing something you otherwise would not do because you genuinely want to see someone you care about happy. What I am not talking about is going through life trying to please everyone else with your actions. A "pleaser" is one who tells others what they want to hear or does what everyone else is doing with no thought of the consequences. What I am talking about here is the motivation that can come out of one's genuine concern for others. For example, my mother was not a people pleaser. But she made countless personal sacrifices for the well-being of her children. She was motivated by love and because she wanted her children to be happy. Some of the most motivating things I have done in life have come because I wanted to demonstrate my concern for someone I really cared about.
Let's first discuss the difference between manipulation and genuine acts of kindness. We have all heard or seen people who make huge changes in their lives to get what they want out of a relationship. I recall a story of an individual who agreed to make certain life changes to engage a potential companion for marriage. The person spent months courting and acting the part with no genuine interest in making a permanent change. Once the two were married, that person soon reverted to the old ways. When the spouse later learned of the deception, the relationship ended abruptly. That is the problem with manipulation. It will catch up to you, and you will do more damage to yourself and others than you intended. The individual later declared that the changes were made to make the other person happy, but we know changes made out of self-interest under the auspices of self-sacrifice will almost always lead to reversion. If the change was actually about making the one you love happy, the change would be more permanent.
The true power in making changes for others can be found in the intention and where your heart lies. When you truly care about another person, you set aside your personal persuasions and place the needs of that person above your own. There have been countless examples of sacrifices that individuals have made for the love of another. I think of the battles fought and sacrifices made for the love of country and family. Consider your ancestors and the sacrifices they have made to ensure the freedoms you have enjoyed along with the hardships that many have endured to preserve our daily comforts. There is nothing more motivating than expressing your love for another through acts of kindness and service. Think about the ones you care about in your own life and the obstacles you would climb to bring them happiness. What changes would you make in your own life? A healthy relationship, whether it is with friends or family, is one where we make changes that bring joy to the lives of those we care about.
I experienced this principle in a small way as a child. At the age of seven, I was still pretty indifferent about accomplishing much in life, with the exception of the bottle-cap story. However, when I started the second grade, something happened that made me want to do better in the classroom. One day at school, I walked up to my second-grade teacher`s desk, and as I handed her my work, she grabbed my hand and asked, "Where did you find that ring?"
Maybe she thought I had stolen this ring. She was looking at my CTR ring, which I had received at church and which stood for Choose the Right. I proudly declared, "I got this ring from church."
She then got a little emotional and said, "I go to the same church!" From that time forward, she was my favorite teacher. She made a connection with me that became the catalyst for my improvement in the classroom. She wasn't just an ordinary teacher. She was my friend. I cared about her very much and wanted to make her happy with my work. I told my mom about this experience at school, and we invited her to come over to our home for dinner so that my parents could meet her. I went from going through the day-to-day grind at school to being extremely motivated to do well in my schoolwork.
The next subject Mrs. Sloan taught our class in school was multiplication. I remember vividly taking notes and being so focused on every word she said. One day, she announced to the class that we would be tested on our multiplication skills and that we would have a "pop quiz" or unannounced test on multiplication every week. I was so excited. This was my chance to do well for Mrs. Sloan. I went home and reviewed my notes and studied that math book for hours. The next day, Mrs. Sloan passed out the test and gave us a few minutes to finish. She set the timer, and off I went. I ran through the questions and flipped my paper over to show I had finished before the timer went off. I only missed one question. From that point on, I would study the math book to prepare for the next pop quiz, and as the weeks went on, I continued to be one of the top "mathematicians" in the class. Mrs. Sloan pulled me aside one day and said, "Wow! You are really good at this." I was so proud and excited I excelled in math class all because I was motivated to do well for Mrs. Sloan. The power of motivation was demonstrated in my desire to act and study math so that I could become a great student in her class. My schoolwork went from boring to exciting, and I went from mediocre to excellent.
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Excerpted from EMPOWER YOUR LIFEby BRADLEY D. CASTLE Copyright © 2013 by Bradley D. Castle. Excerpted by permission of iUniverse, Inc.. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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