This book will outline methods used to encourage parent participation in school events. Coach Collins has used this book as an outline and has found that many schools have attracted more parents to their events as a result.
Engaging Parents
By Lamar CollinsAuthorHouse
Copyright © 2010 Lamar Collins
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4490-1709-5Contents
About Lamar (Coach) Collins......................viiChapter 1: What's the Goal?......................1Chapter 2: Marketing.............................11Chapter 3: Freebie's.............................15Chapter 4: Showtime..............................21Chapter 5: Funding the Event.....................25Chapter 6: The event.............................29Chapter 7: Next Event............................33Points to Remember...............................37APPENDIX A.......................................41After Thought....................................45
Chapter One
What's the Goal?
If your school or organization is like most, you've found that those you'd really like to reach, are the least likely to come to your event. Oftentimes, there is tremendous excitement about the effects that will follow your planned event. Unfortunately, this is usually followed up with a let down over the amount of parental/adult participants. Weeks and sometimes months spent preparing for an event, ensuring everything is in place is met with a response of 15 parents (if you're lucky). A location that could hold hundreds was used for only a handful of attendees. To make matters worse, the ones that came are the ones already on board, supporting the message. The group that you really set out to reach didn't even show up. We have not even considered the amount of money spent on pizza, chips, cookies, door prizes, etc. If this illustration describes your efforts, I've written this to help you increase the effectiveness of your outreach.
The goal of most events is to help the parents of the children struggling academically or behaviorally, through seminars and/or literature. While that is an honorable (and needed) goal, for the most part it's an ineffective approach if you want them to come. The words seminar and literature to some parents are a huge turn off. Think about it, you are saying your event is a parent training or a parent outreach. But some are hearing you say that they are unfit parents so come to this event so that we can help you understand what you are doing wrong. While some parents understand the importance of continually growing and getting new ideas to better serve their children; others look at your program as an insult- especially the at risk parents (I do not use this as a term of disrespect, but as a way to identify the parents of children that are most likely to engage in risky behavior), which is who you are really trying to reach. Also, realize that many of the parents that you want to reach (the at risk parents) do want to better serve their children; however, coming to your event is almost an admission that they are not good parents. Some of you may have even encountered opposition when you invited them to your event. If we want to reach them, it is important that we give them what they want, not what we want them to have (even though it is what they need). There is an old saying that you attract more flies with honey than with vinegar. In keeping with this analogy, I want to suggest that you attract more parents with fun than you do with a preachy message of what they are doing wrong, and why they need to listen to you because you have the answers. Oftentimes, when they see you, they take one look at you and say how in the world could this person help me with my child. And quite honestly, they are justified in their thinking. What makes you think that you can help them with their children, when you don't understand their culture (whether this is true or not, it is their perception, which makes it their reality)? Your view of what they need may be taken as an insult. So now the question becomes how do I help them, when they take my help as an insult? The answer is not as difficult as it may seem. Approach the issue a different way. Instead of primarily focusing on giving them what you want them to have (which is what they need), focus on giving them what they want. What do they want? I'm glad asked. Before I go on, let me again stress that fact that many parents really do want to be better parents, but they weren't parented good, and never received parenting training. Some are actually doing the best they can; they just don't know any better. There are even some that would like to come to your event, but after working 8-10 hours, coming home just to go back to work (cooking dinner, checking homework, household chores-you guys know what I'm talking about), they just can't seem to find the time or the energy to go to your event.
What do parents want?
Parents want their children to be happy, and this is what we must make our goal. Let's focus on developing a program that the children will want to come attend with their parents. To do this we spend the majority of the time on what they want and give a 10-15 minute sound bite of what they need. Let's go a little further, instead of saying that we are having a parent education night, say that we are having a family fun night. Let them know that on this night we will offer extra credit or homework passes (if your school allows it). Also let them know that we will be playing volleyball, dodge ball (students vs the teachers and parents) and board games for the adults and students that would rather not be active. It may sound a little careless to hold an event that we only allocate 1015 minutes to actual parent developing, but I can't stress how important this format is. Let me also suggest that the verbal presentation is only 10-15 minutes, but the actual "teaching" is going on all night. It is my firm belief that some things can't be taught, they must be caught. I developed this philosophy from a lecture I was in. The lecturer said that we must train children in the right way and I felt like the light bulb went on. You see, to teach is to tell, but to train is to show. When I teach a child, I talk about appropriate behavior. When I train a child, I model appropriate behavior. The family fun night is designed to model appropriate behavior to both the students and the parents. Take respect for example. Respect is something that is caught not taught. I can't teach you to be respectful. You learn respect when you see someone you admire acting respectful. In doing so, you learn to keep you cool, when you really feel like going off. Our kids are the same way. If appropriate behavior has rarely been modeled to them, it's too easy to display the negative behavior they've grown accustomed to. We must get them in a non-threatening environment and allow them to see us acting respectful. We are also showing the parents how to respect their children. Guys as I've traveled across Central Texas doing this, I've found it quite therapeutic. It's amazing what can happen in a short 1 1/2 meeting. I'm getting excited just thinking about it! Let's get back to the actual program.
By focusing on the "fun", you get the students, parents, and even some teachers' attention. Students nor parent want to come to hear how bad or good things are, but the same parents that couldn't get off of work and were just too tired to make it to school events will find themselves energized and off for this occasion. You now have parents attending that would have never attended your boring parent meeting (don't take it so personal).
A little more
The family fun night will give them the message you want them to have, it just won't give them the entire message in one setting. We will promote the fun and have a blurp of the message. I know, some of you are saying that we have to give them more substance to justify the expense. To that, I ask which you would rather have, and event with 15 parents that could give your presentation or 150 parents who really need your presentation given one of your points. I want to suggest that getting a little of the message is better than getting none of it. Give it to them in bite size chunks and at the same time, develop healthy relationships between parents, teachers, and students is quite an accomplishment. Remember, we are not just teaching, we are training. When we play games with the kids, encouraging, respecting, and treating them correctly, we are modeling the appropriate behavior to parents on how to treat their children. How awesome is that. Listen, I'm not saying after one event the parents are going to become better parents, but after a couple of events, they will eventually get it. We must remember, we are not in a sprint, this is a marathon. The undesirable parents didn't get that way in one night and they won't be conformed in one night, but we have to start the process somewhere. Many of you have already started the process, let me help you continue to challenge the parents to change in a non-threatening way, by not just teaching them how to parent, but training them how to parent as they watch us interact with them and their children.
When I was a teacher, I remember asking for parent conferences just to see if my hunch was correct. When the parent came in acting irate, and blaming everyone for the child's problem, screaming all kinds of obscenities, I said to myself, yep that's exactly why the child acts like that. More attention children pay to what we do than what we say. If we want children to act appropriately, they have to be modeled the appropriate action. If we want parents to act appropriately towards their children, then we must model the appropriate actions to them.
Competition is a perfect opportunity to model how we ought to treat each other. It's a perfect opportunity for them to see us respect their children and love their children, which is why I recommend a volleyball or dodgeball game. These subtle training moments over time can have a revolutionary effect. I know you want to see instant change, but remember, they didn't get to where they are in an instant, and they won't get out in an instance. This process is a marathon, not a sprint.
Finally, I think 1 1/2 hours is enough time to put on a good event. It's at this time that you begin to loose people. We'll talk about the program a little later, but keep this time frame in mind. I don't include the activity in the event. Appendix A shows a template of a successful family fun night.
Chapter Two
Marketing
You have the idea, but that's only the beginning. Now we have to work the idea. Let's get people excited about getting the word out. We have to let everyone know what we are doing and stress how much fun (notice we are stressing the fun, not the presentation) they are going to have. Marketing has to be different that in the past. I know, previously your marketing has been to put an ad in the paper and a PSA (public service announcement) on the radio (the Christian radio station). Unfortunately this doesn't work. The parents you need to reach (typically) don't read the paper and they (typically) don't listen to those stations. A better idea would be to simply go into Microsoft powerpoint, and develop a flyer of students having fun. Place these flyers around the school for all to see. Be sure to place flyers in the office, cafeteria, gymnasium, and at all of the entrances to the school. If you can schedule the event around a date where the school sends a major mail out to all parents, have a blurb on the mail out promoting the event. If your school/ organization has a website, it's also important to put your event on the website. Another marketing method is to use the morning announcements to your advantage. Have a very popular teacher or administrator (this could be one that is really liked or one that is really disliked) and a very popular student talk about the event. For example, have the teacher talk about how he/ she is looking forward to beating the students in volleyball, or getting all of the students out in dodge ball, or explaining why no one can beat him in checkers. Then have a student come back and talk about how the students plan to beat the "old people". This will generate tremendous excitement. Everyone will want to be a part of this event. If you could get an administrator involved that would be good also. You may even have to charge! It would also do you well to inform the area churches that the school is trying to help develop parent-child relationships. I've found it difficult to partner with churches, but you may have better success in your area.
Another key is to display prizes in strategic locations. For example, you want prizes in the cafeteria and in the office. These are high volume places that are sure to get people to asking questions. You want to have prizes in high volume areas with signs that say they will be given away on the date of your event. Buy the prizes and let the students see them. Another key marketing ploy is to use the school marquee. This is an opportunity to get the word out consistently. I suggest putting it in the marquee 3 weeks before the event. This will allow students to see it as they leave school and hopefully remember to say something to their parents. It will also remind them as the pass the marquee after school is out. This again can spur their memory when they are with their parents so that they will discuss what they have been hearing on the announcements.
Chapter Three
Freebie's
Freebies are also a must when it comes to attracting parents. Remember It's not what they need that will get them there, it's what they want. They want someone to feed their children; they want a babysitter for the toddlers, if only for a couple of hours (I think everyone that has toddlers can relate to needing break every now and then!). I know, some of you are thinking to yourself, we've tried that and it didn't work. I know it didn't work, but that's only because you didn't do it the right way. If you want it to work, you can't just do the right thing. You have to do the right thing the right way, and that's what this book is all about. Now let me tell you the right way of doing it. Get things the people you are trying to reach want. I've been places where the door prize was deer feed! Yes, deer feed. I didn't even know there was such a thing, but in that rural community it was a hit. Giving away tool kits, hunting gear, IPods or the like are all hits. Now here's the big key. You must buy the gifts at least two weeks before the event, and display them in the cafeteria and in the office. Not pictures of them, but the items themselves (if you can). Usually I recommend giving away a bike. Have the bike in the cafeteria for all of the students to see. If you have a display case, have the janitors put the IPod (example) in the display case with a sign saying it will be given away on a given night. Put the DVD player in the lunch line by the check out lady in the cafeteria with a sign say who is going to win me. If you can't put the actual item there, then pictures will do, but if you can, use the item itself. This will create an interest and people will come. They won't come for your program, they'll come for your freebies, but as long as they are there, who cares why! Look in the marketing chapter on how to successfully market your freebies. Another good thing to give away would be a homework pass for all attendees that bring a parent or older brother or sister (remember older sibling have tremendous influence over younger siblings). Some school districts don't allow this, but many do. If yours does, I'll assure you that this will get parents out there. Post this in the office, letting parents that come in for conferences or signing their students in/out know that there will be an opportunity to get a free 100% homework grade will greatly appeal to them. As teachers, we all know that one 100% in homework will not really make a huge difference over the course of a semester, but it works. Since it works and it's something they want, use it. It would be good to try to get other organizations involved. Many locally owned businesses in your area would love to show their support to schools. Ask them to put flyers in their window and while you're at it, ask them to sponsor and item for give-away. There is always a pizza place, local businessperson, or other entity that will donate gifts and food. Speaking of food, I've found pizza is a can't loose. If you're like me, you're not really interested in eating pizza, but kids love it, and when it's free, parents love it. Pizza is also typically easy to get. The hard part is trying to gauge how much to order. I've seen some real catastrophe's occur when schools over order, but even bigger catastrophes when they under order. You'd be surprised how people act over a slice of pizza. I haven't found a specific way to actually fix this (if you think of one email me), but a gauge could be to have homeroom teachers give out and receive participation slips. Quarter sheets of paper, talking about the event, especially what will be given away, and have them signed and returned by a significant adult in their life. Of course this doesn't mean that more will not show up, nor does it mean that all that signed will show up, but it does give you a barometer. And since it is pizza, you can let the manager of the local pizzeria know that you may be calling back for more pizza if things go better than expected.
Excerpted from Engaging Parentsby Lamar Collins Copyright © 2010 by Lamar Collins. Excerpted by permission.
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