CHAPTER 1

Controlling a Jealous Heart

I can't wait to get home to my husband so we can finish upwhere we left off last night. When it comes to sex, he really hasit going on. I get wet thinking about that big, thick, long pieceof black meat that makes my teeth grit and my toes curl up. Hemakes a sista definitely want to holler.

I was daydreaming at my desk, staring at the clock on thewall, when a big-titty heifer stormed into my office. From herexpression, I knew she was not there to talk about insurance.I had to admit that sista girl had it going on. She could reallydress; she certainly didn't look like a typical girl. Her expensiveclothes spoke for her. I could tell she had money—and lots ofit. At least that's the impression she gave me.

She wore Jimmy Choo quinze heels and carried amatching Kaela purse. She wore expensive jewelry; herdiamond rings sparkled every time she brushed her hair outof her face. She wore an all-about-me look. She stood with herarms folded, patting one foot up and down on the carpet.

"Are you Diane?" she asked with a nasty attitude whilerolling her head from side to side.

I know this heifer ain't trying to be nasty with me. She bettercheck her attitude.

"Yes, I am," I responded in a friendly way. "Can I helpyou?"

"Why not? You seem to help yourself to everything else Ihave," she said, rolling her eyes with huge fake eyelashes.

"Excuse me. Is there a problem?" I asked.

"Hell yeah—and I'm looking at her."

I stood in shock because no one had ever approached methat way. I had no clue what she was talking about, but I couldtell she had a mouthful to say. I blurted out the first thing thatcame to my mind. "This isn't an insurance issue—is it?"

"Hell no. It's a man issue. You're sleeping with myhusband, James."

James? Who the hell is James? I've been with so manydifferent men. I don't have time to keep up with stuff like this.

I said, "I'm sorry, but I think you have me mixed up withsomeone else. I happen to be a very happily married woman.So don't lose your cool and accuse me of sleeping with yourhusband. Unless you have proof, I advise you to do yourresearch and see your way up out of my office."

"Shut your mouth, slut!"

Oh hell no. I know she didn't just call me a slut. It's definitelyabout to be on up in here.

I quickly kicked my heels off and stood up. I walkedaround my desk because I was about to give that whore abeatdown.

"I have my evidence together," she said while pulling a cellphone from her purse. She showed me a couple of pictures ofJames and me together. "See? That's you and James together.And that's not the half of it. Some of these pictures in hisphone are of you alone. I also found a thong in the back of hiscar—the same thong you are wearing in the picture. So unlessthere is another coochie-popping trick who likes to wearghetto thongs, and goes by the name of Diane in my husband'sphone, I suggest you shut the hell up before I put my foot upin your—"

"Excuse me!" I walked up to her and pointed my finger inher face. "You're a big girl. I have to give you that, but don't befooled by my size because this ain't what you want, homegirl."

"No, baby. You ain't what James wants. James has got all ofthis to play with at home," she said while rubbing her hips.

"I think you better leave my office now. You can leavethrough the door or through the window—the choice is yours.But let me remind you—just in case you forgot—there are sevenflights of stairs. You don't know me. You better ask somebody,homegirl. I ain't the one," I said as anger filled my eyes.

"You're right. I don't know you, but I know of you," shesaid, looking me up and down. "I know you work for thisinsurance company making minimum wage, and you preyon men that are wealthy." Her tone changed as she spokewith anger. "It's cocksucking sluts like you that give women abad name. All you do is go from man to man, popping yourcoochie here and there.

I started working my hips and said, "James enjoys eatingthis coochie, and he sure as hell enjoys me popping mycoochie on that big long—"

Before I could finish my sentence, she grabbed my neckand shoved me into the wall. It was on; we started strapping.With all of the commotion, all of my coworkers charged intothe room and separated us.

I grabbed that whore by the hair and started beating her.

A coworker yelled, "Diane, let go of her hair!"

When they finally separated us, I had a big ball of her hairin my hand.

As they dragged her out of my office, she yelled, "Therewill be a next time, whore. I'll see you in the street. This ain'tover!"

I yelled, "I'm gonna clean your head next time, trick!" Ipointed across my coworkers.

After things settled down, everybody left except Nicole.She wanted to be nosy.

"Girl, what was that all about?"

"That heifer came up in here accusing me of sleepingwith her man," I said while pulling out my little hand mirror."Ouch. I can't believe she scratched my darn forehead."

"Yeah. She got you pretty good. It's bleeding a little. Wereyou sleeping with her man?" Nicole handed me a Kleenex toclean my wound. "Girl, one time. You know how I do it. I onlydo one-night stands."

"How did she find out about you and him?"

"He offered me an extra hundred and fifty dollars to takesome pictures on his cell phone in my thong. Apparentlythe idiot didn't erase the pictures, and she went through hisphone."

"How did she know to come here?"

"Her husband has a policy here, and sometimes she comesin to make the payments. I hardly recognized her because sheonly came in once or twice."

"Girl, that's why I stick with Caucasian men. Their womenact totally different from us. When they catch their husbandscheating, they respond totally different than us ghetto women.They say, `Oh my God. I never saw it coming. Maybe we canwork through it. We have kids and all.' Our black sistas takethings to the extreme. We run up anywhere to confront asista."

"You and your white men. I'll stick with my brothers."

"I'll talk to you later, girl. Bye."

I cleaned up my scratches at my desk. I felt a hand overmy eyes and heard a giggle.

"I know it's you, Tiffany."

With another giggle, Tiffany said, "Girl, how do youalways know it's me?"

"Because you're the only one that puts your hands over myeyes and then laughs. And you're my best friend."

"So I need to come up with a new routine?"

"You sure do because it's weak and old," I said.

"I know. That's right. What's up, girl?"

"Where were you when all the action went down?"

"I was on my break. I just got back. What happened?"

"I was up in here whipping tail."

"Who's tail?"

"You know James? James Taylor? The dude with the largeinsurance policy."

"Yeah. He owns a chain of Taylor car lots."

"His wife came up in here today and accused me ofsleeping with him."

"I don't even have to ask if it's true or not. You flirt withhim every time he comes in here. Did she give you that nastyscratch on your head?"

"Yeah, but I got some licks in on her—plus I pulled out ahandful of her hair."

"Ew. That's what that is on the floor?"

"Yeah. You stepped right over it."

"I stepped over it because I didn't know what it was."

I grabbed my dustpan and a little broom from behind thedoor. I swept up the hair and tossed it in the trash.

"Anyhow. It's over and done with. What happened to youtoday? I didn't see you at all today. You usually stop by myoffice."

"I headed in this direction earlier, but I saw you wereon the phone. I didn't want to disturb you. You were on thephone for quite a while."

"For over thirty minutes," I said.

"With whom?"

"Kate's Catering Service. I was put on hold for fifteenminutes. The other fifteen was spent talking to some womanwho could barely speak English."

"As big as Miami is, you couldn't find another cateringservice?"

"Girl, every catering service I called was booked orwanted to put me on an extremely long waiting list. Myhousewarming party is next Saturday night. Kate's was theonly one that was not booked."

"How is my little godson doing in day care? I rememberyou telling me you had to change day care since you guysmoved."

"That's right; he's doing well. Ms. Johnson says he isbeginning to interact with other kids. I can't believe my babywill be turning two soon!"

"Diane, have you heard the news?"

"What news?"

"I don't know if it's a rumor or a fact but I heard that ourcompany could be closing down and moving to Texas."

"This company? Are you sure?"

"Going by what I heard, I'm afraid so."

"That's terrible. There will be a lot of people without jobs.By any chance did you hear the reason?"

"I heard it's because of the recession. A lot of people justcan't afford to keep and pay for insurance with all the joblosses over the last couple of months."

"Wow. That many people out of work? The unemploymentrate is sure to triple now," I said. "I hope it's just a rumor.David and I just moved into our new house. We certainly can'tsurvive with just one income—not while living in Glendair.We just can't afford it."

"Are the houses very expensive out there?" Tiffany asked.

"Yes, they are."

"Wow. Did you hear that Eric and Stephanie just lost theirnew house?"

"No. That's just awful. What happened to them?"

"They both have been out of work for months now.They have been trying to survive off of their unemploymentwhile they search for new jobs. Their income was less thanwhat they were making in the corporate world. They wereoverwhelmed with their bills."

"Where are they living now?"

"I heard they were staying with Stephanie's parents."

"I don't think I could bear the shame and embarrassmentof losing a house. I bet they feel pretty ashamed."

"Why should they be ashamed? It's not their fault they losttheir jobs. It could happen to anyone."

"I know, but I just can't see myself at rock bottom. Icame from the bottom; there's no way I'm going back to thebottom."

"Put yourself in their situation. What would you havedone?" Tiffany asked.

"It's not what I would have done—but what my husbandwould have done. David and I have been married for threeyears, and he knows that I desire the finer things in life. IfDavid and I were in this situation, all hell would have brokenloose before I lost my house. David is the head of the house aswell as the breadwinner. I expect him to do whatever it takesto maintain my lifestyle. I don't care if he has to rob, steal, orkill because it's all about keeping me satisfied."

"Diane, you have the wrong attitude about life."

"I'm sorry, girlfriend. I'm just keeping it real."

"When are you going to realize life is not all aboutmaterial things? It's what you make out of it along with whatyou put into it. Don't get me wrong—having material things isall good, but some things are more meaningful."

"Such as?"

"Family. Eric and Stephanie may not have their houseanymore, but they still have each other. To me, that's worthmore than any house."

"I love my family, but I also love luxury," I stated.

"Well, you go, girl!" Tiffany said. "Whatever."

I threw my hands into the air. "Tiffany, don't you haveanything better to do than come into my office and bug me?"

"Girl, please," she said with a smirk. "I've been meaning toask you about David."

Here she goes. What could she possibly want to know aboutmy husband? She needs to find a man of her own so she canstay out of my business, nosy heifer.

"What about David?" I asked.

"Last night on the news, I saw that the housing industrywas affected by the recession. From what they were saying, Ilearned that there are a lot of homes that have big price tagson them, but they are not selling—even after dropping theprices. By selling these houses for less, they actually lost ratherinstead of profiting from them. Knowing that David is in thereal estate business, I couldn't help but to think of him. Howare things going for him?"

"It's not going as well as we thought. Although, real estatehasn't been good for many people as well.

"I'm sure things will pick up soon. Have you finishedunpacking yet?"

"Girl, no—and it's been a week already. I'm far from beingfinished."

"Are you kidding me?"

"I wish I was."

"Is the house that big?" Tiffany cocked her head to theside and put her hand on her hip. "Compared to my oldapartment, it's triple in size. It's huge—4,500 square feet. Fivebedrooms, four bathrooms, a guest room, a study room, athree-car garage, a playroom for DJ, plus an office for David,a—"

"Dang, girl!" Tiffany yelled.

She didn't give me a chance to finish explaining my house. Itfigures; she never does. I hate it when she does that.

"Why did you guys get a house that big? It's only the threeof you. You told me you only want two children. Even withanother baby, it's still way too big." Tiffany folded her arms.

"I like my houses like I like my men—I don't care for smallpackages."

"I can see that it's quite obvious. Diane, you're in wayover your head. You know you guys can't afford a house likethat—especially in Glendair. Isn't that where the doctors andlawyers live?"

"Yeah, but so what? We work just as they do," I said."They're not the only ones who can live in fine homes." Thischick is really working my nerves.

"Don't give me that look."

"What look?" I asked.

"The look that says talk to the hand."

Yeah? You can talk to something other than my hand, but Iwon't go there. "You're tripping."

"Diane, you're all wrapped up in your fantasy world.You're so afraid of someone outdoing you. You have anenormously expensive home. Does this satisfy your desire ordo you hunger for more of the world's luxuries? When are yougoing to face reality and realize there is a real world outside ofyour existing one? You can't buy things just for show."

I would like to show her straight up out my office with herplayer-hating self. She always has something negative to say. Sheneeds to realize that she wears too much makeup. Jealous heifer.

"Tiffany, you can think whatever you want. I deserve whatI get in life. I've worked hard for it. And it's not about puttingon a show—David and I both agreed to move. So what if ithappens to be an enormously expensive house. I don't mean toburst your bubble, but guess what? We have to live there—notyou."

"As a friend, Diane, I am just concerned about you. You doknow that we are in a recession?"

"David and I were aware of that before making our move.I have faith in David. He's doing what's best for his family. Doyou remember our living conditions in Hoodland? It seemedas if we rented from one of the worst landlords. He demandedhis money on time, but he never wanted to fix anything,including our plumbing. It was a continuous problem andleft our house with an odor for months. He was real cheapand did not want to fix stuff around the building. He spentall the tenants' money while he vacationed. We signed apetition against him, but it was thrown out. We figured he hadconnections in higher places."

"I remember that he really let that apartment complexbecome a real dump. I must admit there have been times Ihave been afraid to go into Hoodland. Especially with all ofthose drive-by shootings—and they were always gang-related.There is no doubt that Hoodland is a violent neighborhood.You're right. After giving much thought to the matter, youguys made the right move after all."

"You finally agree with me?"

"Yeah, I guess I do."

"Don't just stand there; show me some love," I said whilestretching out my arms.

"Girl, you're so crazy," Tiffany said as we gave each othera hug. While we had our arms around each other, she glancedat her watch. "Ooh!" Tiffany said.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked as I pushed myself offof her.

"Girl, it's five o'clock. Time to get out of here," she said asshe dashed out of my office. "See ya."

"Is it that time already?" I jumped to my feet and grabbedmy purse.

"Dang, Diane. Slow down," Tiffany yelled from across theroom.

"Girl, I am in a hurry. I have to pick up DJ from day care.You know how I hate driving in that five o'clock traffic," I saidwhile turning off my computer.

"Call me later!" Tiffany shouted as I made my way to theelevator.

"All right, girl."