The Power of Words

Keep Thy Heart with All Diligence for Out Of It Are the Issues of Life

Ever notice just how much words affect our lives, how one little word or phrase could catch your attention. Words may not always affect you immediately but they have a way of coming back and punching you right smack in the face. Words can make you have a whole different outlook on life especially when there said in the right way. You'll find yourself just sitting listening and pondering on what was said to you at this certain time. A lot of times it'll make you have a whole new outlook on yourself and boy can it be powerful at times, both emotional and spiritual. Sometimes it can be just what you need, a confirmation of what God had already placed in your spirit. Just like the word say he know us better than we know ourselves. Quite often we venture out in life thinking we know exactly which way were going, not knowing what we're going to run into. You see life has so many twists and turns you'll be faced with many choices. Only thing is we must make one whether we're right or wrong we must make a choice. Question is, how we handle the consequences from the choices we make? Will we choose to handle it on our own, our own understanding? Or will we turn to our father for answers, whom art in heaven, whom which we can do nothing without. Of course, let's be real, will be making most of these decisions on our own, you know what I mean, most of our lives we make our own choices, not consulting God for anything. Come on you know us humans we often think we know it all, especially, I'm sad to say, us women. Just like Eve we think we can break the rules and turn things around. Come on ladies, you know we have something inside us that tell us we can change the world, especially the male species. All yeah, we think we got what it takes to make the opposite sex turn into a man or whatever it is we want them to be. Ladies you know what I mean. A let's not leave out the fact that we are strong willed, especially when it comes to love.

Some stronger than others, but when we want what we want things can get a bit crazy. And no, I'm not leaving out the men, can't do that. They are more than likely out to get what they want from the beginning. Rules don't apply, when they have their eye on something or someone, talk about being persistent. Men can be very creative and in a lot of ways downright dirty, I mean no holes barred. Seems as though they know exactly what to say and what it is we want and need to hear. All yeah, they can be very persuasive when they want to. Let's face it, they love the chase. And a lot of ways you can say they are like a lion. They set their sights on the easy prey first, wear them down, get there fill and move on.

Always, mind you, thinking of their next victim, most of the time he had it lined up, already, working on it. You see this may take a little more planning. It is not as easy for this one as it was the first. As we all know over the years of growing up there were always the easy ones and the hard ones. But that just made it more interesting for the chase. This is why life is about choices, for all of us there are choices. See we're free to make our own choices God made sure of that, only thing is, most forget that there are also consequences. And one thing about it we can't choose those. We never know what they're going to be or when they are going to come. That's why it's best to think before you leap. You can't listen to everything you hear. Consequences can be very painful and not even what you expect. In fact you really don't know, but one thing about them they don't go away. They'll be waiting around the corner, and will come when you really don't expect them to. This is part of the journey, growing up. You see choices don't just start when you're grown up, they start early in life. But when our heavenly father breeths breath in our bodies the journey begin. And with that first breath so does our purpose. Oh yes, we have a purpose whether we realize it or not we all have a purpose. Thing is, everyone don't realize that. But as life goes on, prayerfully, we all will realize that, some early on in life and some later. Most important, is that we all realize what it is, that we choose to ready ourselves and each other for the kingdom. This remind me of growing up into a young lady. I'm reminded of some choices I've made in my life. I am most thankful for the seed my mother planted in me. The seed of God that is. Because of which, I was able to have conviction from my choices. Especially when I made a choice that I knew in my heart was wrong and I went forth with it anyway. You see I take full responsibility for my past. I'm not going to beat myself up. So with compassion rather than condemnation, I realize I am made of God substance and my destiny is always good and positive. So of course, being young and I sometimes take a quick look back and give God thanks, thanks for where he's brought me from and what he's brought me through.

All I can say is thank you Lord for not letting me go. And when I think things over, I find myself looking up, and began to praise him for his grace and mercy. For all the storms, all the mountains he brought me over, the trials and tribulations. Tears began to roll down my face, I began to cry out hallelujah to God be the glory. I began to stop and take a look around at what's going on around me day by day. All the lies, deceit, hate, anger, betrayal, murder, lack of respect for each other, the total disregard for life itself.

That's when I found the answer to the question. Who shall I seek? It's definitely a no-brainer, the Lord in all his might, the only answer for that question. "Make me to know your ways oh Lord teach me your path (Psalms 25:4) once again you have a choice, but remember there are consequences for your actions. Choose to be on the winning team, for God bring you joy. Seek ye the Lord, and after you've looked back, up, and around, you must look forward and began to worship the Lord. Program first yourself and consciousness, praying that you turn yourself within and prepare yourself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Remembering many will find you, fool you, and forget you. It's all a part of the journey.

Got Caught Up

Looking back at my experiences, I've had my share of heart aches and pain. Because of the choices I made. Talk about fine you, fool you, forget you, I fell head first. Yes he found me, made me feel like I was his queen, made me feel like I was the best in the world. Like no other could ever take my place, I mean I was all in. He could do no wrong, oh yeah he found me all right. Made me feel like I was number one, like I was all he needed, all yeah he found me. This man really went all out for me. He took me on shopping sprees, he wined and dined me for a few months, introduced me to his daughter, mother, and other family members. Made me think oh yeah this is it. I found myself changing. I began to put my all in this man totally forgetting what I wanted. I mean I really wrapped my everything into this relationship. I guess you could say I really had on my blinders at this point thinking only of the finish line, the wedding, It's okay to say I narrowed my sites too much and that goals are great as long as you remain open to better ones.

I was so into this man, that when the enemy came and blindsided me I didn't even notice. You see I thought he could do no wrong. We would run into his ex and she would say things like hey I need to talk to you one-on-one and at that time I would think nothing of it. I couldn't see what the enemy was doing, it just flew right over my head, now that I think of it he was cheating all along. And little did I know being so young he had been pulling the wool over my eyes for a while. You see everything my mother taught me had been put on the back burner. I was all in, I felt like I could handle this all on my own. Don't get me wrong my mother talked to me quite often. But you know how that goes when you're being led by the flesh and not the spirit. At the time it went in one ear and out the other. Most of us know when were young, we seem to know everything. Everybody else crazy but us. So my mother stepped off a little, decided to let me bump my head for a while, while she prayed me through. Don't get me wrong, she never left me. She monitored my life from behind, instead of having to fight with me. You see she knew what she had planted in me, the word. So anyway, being so captured by this man at the time I decided to commit myself to him. Meaning I would follow him anywhere. Mind you the word marriage never came into the picture. Oh, but I didn't care at the time I was in to deep. Even though I knew the right way, you see here come that word choice. That's just what I did, I made a choice. I followed him to St. Louis Missouri. You see he was working for GM and they transferred him there and of course he asked me to come live with him there, and no, the word marriage never came up. But yet I packed up most of my things, you notice I didn't say all my things, just some. I realize I wasn't ready to leave the nest. Like I thought, once again, that seed my mother planted in me started budding. Anyway, I made the choice to go ahead and go anyway, not thinking about those consequences waiting around that corner. Being faced with challenges and knowing what's right and wrong, because of my upbringing. I remember thinking to let go and let God. But the first step is to release, let go of what it is I'm holding to I remember thinking.

So here I am on my way to experience something new in my life definitely finding out what it is I'm holding to. Here I am with all my luggage on my way to the bus station not knowing I'll have to handle all this luggage by myself. You see the bus is not like the plane where they take care of your luggage for you, for a price. Oh, but I learned, boy did I. So I preceded on, I managed to get everything loaded and got comfortable in my seat ready for my trip, I didn't really think everything out, I was just ready to go and get to Norris the man who could do no wrong so I thought. So I proceeded on with my long long bus ride. I remember we got to a town and not knowing we had to do a transfer over to another bus. The driver announce this over the intercom and my heart sank. There was no one there to help me with all my luggage and I had so much, remember I was going to stay. So I struggled to get all my things off one bus and onto the other. I had to take a chance and leave my things and go back and forth to get everything onto the other bus. I thank God nothing happened to my things. I only wore myself out. I remember thinking why didn't he get me a plane ticket. Cheapskate. Well I made it through that ordeal, got comfortable in my seat and continued on my way.

So here I am a young lady in love for the first time ready to face whatever comes my way. Because I chose to take on this challenge knowing I should have gotten married first. But you know us women we think we can change anything, thinking marriage was on the way once I reached my destination. You couldn't tell me this man didn't love me, and I was ready for whatever came my way, not knowing it won't all be pretty.

Talk about fool you. The bus finally reached my destination, I looked around as I got off the bus thinking, I think they brought me to the wrong town! I mean this place was like a one buggy town in the middle of nowhere. So I gathered all my things from the bus and found myself standing there surrounded by luggage and no one in sight. Remind you, I'm just a young lady. I can remember thinking what have I gotten myself into? Choices. A few minutes passed and Norris rolled up, talk about happy. He loaded all my things into the car and off we went.

You see he hadn't been there very long his self so he was living in the comfort Inn which was a newly made hotel in Wentzville Missouri. He had not found an apartment yet. So we stayed there for a while. Just me and him one on one. Mind you the word marriage still had'nt come up. But I was in love so I had lots of patience. But we all know they run out. Norris would get up and go to work every day. He would come home and we'll go out and eat dinner. Come back clean ourselves up and lounge around. We did this for days and no, marriage never came up. I began to get bored with the program I wanted more. I wanted to work or go to school or something, but he will have nothing of the sort. So we end up moving to another town, a town called Normandy. This town was way better than the last. There were more people to converse with, I began to make friends and learn my way. You see we only had one car and of course he took that to work every day, so I had no way of getting around, just the way he wanted it. Never once did I ever lose sight that I have freedom of choice and the power to act on wise choices. I can turn around at any time. The choice is mine. Don't think I haven't searched my heart for directions trusting the right judgment and divine wisdom is still available to me. Now when I think about it he liked being in control, having me grounded. He may have liked it, but I hated it. Not only that you see I am a very outgoing person, a people person you might say. So you understand what I mean. But me being in love I continue to ride the ride a little while longer.

So we stayed in this town for quite a while that is until I started branching out more. I decided hey I need something to call my own like a paycheck. So I went out and got me a job learned the bus route so I would have transportation there and back. Talk about excited, I couldn't wait for him to get home and share the news with him. So he finally comes home a little late this day and I wait until we finish our dinner and everything before I break the news. So we were relaxing and I decided I'll tell him my great news. This was the day the devil stuck his head out. I proceeded to tell him that I have found me a job where I could take the bus back and forth. As I sat and waited for his reaction all I heard was silent. Then I finally got the reply that I had expected. Why would you go and do that he says? I make enough money for both of us. So I replied, I don't want all the strain on you, also I'm use to having a check that is made out to me, oh he'll have none of that he says. I remember him saying you don't have to worry about anything. I'm going to take care of you, All I can think about is when was the last time I went shopping other than the grocery store. You see I was a very independent woman and was use to getting what I want, I mean it's not like we were married. You see I was a young lady not too long graduated from school so I had dreams and ambitions and drive I was not ready to be bound to staying in the house cooking and cleaning, Just for the short-lived thrill. I was ready to start making my dreams come true, and was ready to do it with him, since he already had a good job I thought maybe I could go to school and work. Believe me I was not one of those women who thought that she should depend on a man taking care of her. You see all of this was briefly discussed before we even made this move, but you know how that goes and no, the word marriage still hadn't, come up. You know what they say they change when they get away from home.

So a few more weeks went on, and I still was playing house. I never got that job because he didn't want me to. So here we go up and moving to another town. This time into an apartment I was excited this time no more hotels. Thinking things would be changing since we were a little more settled. Okay, now I can really find me a job, start going places really getting to see St. Louis. Instead of him going to work and I stay home. No I was tired of living like this remember I was a very young lady, he was older than me, but what that supposed to mean. I was ready to live a little. Do something. And he loved life as much as I did. Don't get me wrong I was aware that he worked hard every day, so I didn't press him too much. But I began to notice that he started coming home later and later, at first it didn't bother me because I had met me some girlfriends who's men were working at the plant like mine. So I had some company now. I started filling alive again. Being so outgoing and jovial as I am.

I have endless possibilities that are available to me. I am not limited to any one path. The best is yet to come. While the guys were at work me and the girls would get together and play cards talk, do each other hair, we would even read the Bible together. This really helped me through the day even though I had finally got some company, I couldn't stop thinking of my own dreams and wants. I still wanted to go to school and work more than ever. As time went on I began to learn my way around because there was only one car, and yes it was his Norris start coming home later and later which made me very uncomfortable. I wanted to know why all of a sudden this was happening. It wasn't like this before, and my mother didn't raise no fool. I started meeting more and more people both male and female. I guess that's sort of threw my focus off the fact that he was staying out longer and longer. Remember they do believe you. So one particular night my girls were over, we were doing what we do waiting for our men to get home. Everybody's man made it home but mine. I kept my cool, I didn't allow myself to get excited because the fact remains this is a choice I made. Remember, I said I was ready to take on anything that came my way. And of course, I can't choose my consequence.