Finding My Way Home
Pathways to Life and SpiritBy Henri J. M. NouwenCrossroad Publishing Company
Copyright © 2001 Henri J. M. Nouwen
All right reserved.ISBN: 9780824522742
Chapter One
Sitting in a plane and looking down on the broadlandscapes?the rivers, lakes, and mountains?andseeing the winding roads and little villages spread outover the earth, I wonder why it is so hard for people tolive peacefully together. The astronauts seeing our blueplanet from their space shuttle were so overwhelmedby its beauty that it seemed impossible for them tobelieve that its inhabitants were busy destroying theirown home and killing each other through war andexploitation.
Distance sometimes helps us to get a sharper vision ofour human condition and to raise some very good criticalquestions!
Let us take a look at our world from a distance, notfrom the physical distance of a plane or a space vehicle,but from the spiritual distance of our faith. Let us lookat ourselves, at our humanity, from above and with theeyes of God. Jesus always looked at the human conditionfrom above and tried to teach us to look as he did."I come from above," he said, "and I want you to bereborn from above so that you will be able to see withnew eyes."
This is what theology is about. It is looking at realitywith the eyes of God. And there is so much to lookat: land and sky; sun, stars, and moon; women, men,and children; continents, countries, cities and towns,and countless very specific issues in the past, present,and future. That's why there are so many "theologies."The sacred Scriptures help us to look at the rich varietyof all creation with the eyes of God and so to discern theways to live.
The path of power is really about a theology of weakness.We want to look with God's eyes at our experienceof brokenness, limitedness, woundedness, and frailty. Wewant to look at them in the way that Jesus taught usto hope that such a vision will offer us a safe way totravel on earth. I will focus on three words: "power,""powerlessness," and "power." I first want to explore thepower that oppresses and destroys. Then I want to showhow power is disarmed through powerlessness, and finallyI want to proclaim the true power that liberates,reconciles, and heals.
Power
I. When God looks at our world, God must weep. Godmust weep because the lust for power has entrapped andcorrupted the human spirit. In the news and even inour families and ourselves we see that instead of gratitudethere is resentment, instead of forgiveness there isrevenge, instead of healing there is wounding, insteadof compassion there is competition, instead of cooperationthere is violence, and instead of love there isimmense fear.
God must weep when God looks at our beautifulplanet and sees thousands of maimed bodies lying onthe battlefields, lonely children roaming the streets of bigcities, prisoners locked behind bars and thick walls, mentallyill men and women wasting their time in the wardsof large institutions, and millions of people dying fromstarvation and neglect. God must weep because Godknows the agony and anguish we have brought upon ourselvesby wanting to take our destiny in our own handsand lord it over others.
When we look around and within us with the eyesof God, it is not hard to see the all-pervading lust forpower. Why are Serbs and Moslems killing each other?Why are Protestants and Catholics throwing bombs ateach other? Why is the president murdered, the primeminister kidnapped, and why do political leaders commitsuicide?
Let's look into our own hearts! Aren't we constantlyconcerned with whether we are noticed or not, appreciatedor not, rewarded or not? Aren't we always askingourselves whether we are better or worse, stronger orweaker, faster or slower than the one who stands besideus? Haven't we, from elementary school on, experiencedmost of our fellow human beings as rivals in the racefor success, influence, and popularity? And ... aren't weso insecure about who we are that we will grab any, yesany, form of power that gives us a little bit of controlover who we are, what we do, and where we go?
When we are willing to look at things through God'seyes, we soon see that what is happening in Bosnia,South Africa, Ireland, or Los Angeles is not so far awayfrom what is happening in our own hearts. As soon asour own safety is threatened we grab for the first stick orgun available and we say that our survival is what reallycounts, even when thousands of others are not going tomake it.
I know my sticks and my guns! Sometimes it is afriend with more influence than I, sometimes it is moneyor a degree, sometimes it is a little talent that othersdon't have, and sometimes it is a special knowledge,or a hidden memory, or even a cold stare ... and I willgrab it quickly and without much hesitation when Ineed it to stay in control. Before I fully realize it I havepushed my friends away, perhaps wounding them in theprocess.
God looks at us and weeps because wherever we usepower to give us a sense of ourselves, we separate ourselvesfrom God and each other, and our lives becomediabolic, in the literal meaning of that word: divisive.
II. But there is something worse than our exerciseof economic and political power. It is religious power.When God looks at our world, God not only mustweep but must also be angry?angry because many ofus who pray, offer praise, and call out to God, "Lord,Lord!" are also corrupted by power. In anger God says:"These people honor me only with lip service, whiletheir hearts are far from me. Their reverence of me isworthless; the lessons they teach are nothing but humancommandments" (Isa. 29:13).
The most insidious, divisive, and wounding poweris the power used in the service of God. The numberof people who "have been wounded by religion"overwhelms me. An unfriendly or judgmental word bya minister or priest, a critical remark in church abouta certain lifestyle, a refusal to welcome people at thetable, an absence during an illness or death, and countlessother hurts often remain longer in people's memoriesthan other more world-like rejections. Thousands of separatedand divorced men and women, numerous gay andlesbian people, and all of the homeless people who feltunwelcome in the houses of worship of their brothersand sisters in the human family have turned away fromGod because they experienced the use of power whenthey expected an expression of love.
The devastating influence of power in the hands ofGod's people becomes very clear when we think of thecrusades, the pogroms, the policies of apartheid, and thelong history of religious wars up to these very days. Itmight be harder though to realize that many contemporaryreligious movements create the fertile soil for theseimmense human tragedies to happen again.
In these days of great economic and political uncertainty,one of the greatest temptations is to useour faith as a way to exercise power over others andthereby supplant God's commandments with humancommandments.
It is easy to understand why so many people haveturned away in disgust from anything vaguely connectedwith religion. When power is used to proclaim goodnews, good news very soon becomes bad, very bad news.And that's what I believe causes God's anger.
But God looks at our world not only with sad orangry eyes; God's mercy is far greater than God's sadnessand anger. As the Psalmist says: "God's angerlasts but a moment" (Ps. 30:5). In an all-embracingmercy God chooses to disarm the power of evil throughpowerlessness?God's own powerlessness.
Powerlessness
I. What was and is God's response to the diabolicpower that rules the world and destroys people and theirlands? The answer is a deep and complete mystery becauseGod chose powerlessness. God chose to enter intohuman history in complete weakness. That divine choiceforms the center of the Christian faith. In Jesus of Nazareth,the powerless God appeared among us to unmaskthe illusion of power, to disarm the prince of darknesswho rules the world, and to bring the divided humanrace to a new unity. It is through total and unmitigatedpowerlessness that God shows us divine mercy. The radical,divine choice is the choice to reveal glory, beauty,truth, peace, joy, and, most of all, love in and throughthe complete divestment of power. It is very hard?ifnot impossible?for us to grasp this divine mystery. Wekeep praying to the "almighty and powerful God." Butall might and power is absent from the one who revealsGod to us saying: "When you see me you see the Father."If we truly want to love God, we have to look atthe man of Nazareth, whose life was wrapped in weakness.And his weakness opens for us the way to the heartof God.
People with power do not invite intimacy. We fearpeople with power. They can control us and force usto do what we don't want to do. We look up to peoplewith power. They have what we do not have and cangive or refuse to give, according to their will. We envypeople with power. They can afford to go where we cannotgo and do what we cannot do. But God's power issomething entirely opposite. God does not want us tobe afraid, distant, or envious. God wants to come close,very close, so close that we can rest in the intimacy ofGod as children in their mother's arms.
Therefore God became a little baby. Who can be afraidof a little baby? A tiny little baby is completely dependenton its parents, nurses, and caregivers. Yes, God wanted tobecome so powerless as to be unable to eat or drink, walkor talk, play or work without many people's help. Yes,God became dependent on human beings to grow up andlive among us and proclaim the good news. Yes, indeed,God chose to become so powerless that the realizationof God's own mission among us became completely dependenton us. How can we fear a baby we rock in ourarms, how can we look up to a baby that is so littleand fragile, how can we be envious of a baby who onlysmiles at us in response to our tenderness? That's themystery of the incarnation. God became human, in noway different from other human beings, to break throughthe walls of power in total weakness. That's the storyof Jesus.
And how did that story end? It ended on a cross,where the same human person hangs naked with nailsthrough his hands and feet. The powerlessness of themanger has become the powerlessness of the cross.People jeer at him, laugh at him, spit in his face, andshout: "He saved others; he cannot save himself! He isthe King of Israel; let him come down from the crossnow, and we will believe in him" (Matt. 27:42). Hehangs there, his flesh tom apart by lead-filled whips, hisheart broken by the rejection of his friends and abusefrom his enemies, his mind tortured by anguish, his spiritshrouded in the darkness of abandonment?total weakness,total powerlessness. That's how God chose to revealto us the divine love, bring us back into an embrace ofcompassion, and convince us that anger has been meltedaway in endless mercy.
II. But there is more to be said about God's powerlessnessas it is revealed in Jesus of Nazareth. Thereis not only a powerless birth and a powerless death,but?strange as it may seem?a powerless life.
Jesus, the powerless child of God, is blessed in powerlessness.When, after a long hidden life in Nazareth,Jesus begins his ministry, he first offers us a self-portrait."Blessed are the poor," he said. Jesus is poor, not in control,but marginal in his society. What good can comefrom Nazareth?
"Blessed are the gentle," he said. Jesus does not breakthe bruised reed. He always cares for the little ones.
"Blessed are those who mourn," he said. Jesus doesnot hide his grief, but lets his tears flow when his frienddies and when he foresees the destruction of his belovedJerusalem.
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for justice,"he said. Jesus doesn't hesitate to criticize injustice andto defend the hungry, the dying, and the lepers.
"Blessed are the merciful," he said. Jesus doesn'talways call for revenge but heals always and everywhere.
"Blessed are the pure in heart," he said. Jesus remainsfocused only on what is necessary and does not allow hisattention to be divided by many distractions.
"Blessed are the peacemakers," he said. Jesus does notstress differences, but reconciles people as brothers andsisters in one family.
"Blessed are those who are persecuted," he said. Jesusdoes not expect success and popularity, but knows thatrejections and abandonment will make him suffer.
The Beatitudes give us Jesus' self-portrait. It is theportrait of the powerless God. It is also the portrait weglimpse wherever we see the sick, the prisoners, therefugees, the lonely, the victims of sexual abuse, thepeople with AIDS, and the dying. It is through theirpowerlessness that we are called to become brothersand sisters. It is through their powerlessness that we arecalled to deepen our bonds of friendship and love. It isthrough their powerlessness that we are challenged tolay down our weapons, offer each other forgiveness, andmake peace. And it is through their powerlessness thatwe are constantly reminded of Jesus' words: "You foolishpeople, is it not necessary to suffer and so enter intoglory?" Indeed, God's powerlessness and the powerlessnessof the human race of which God became part hasbecome the door to the house of love.
Power
I. Our world is ruled by diabolic powers that divideand destroy. In and through the powerless Jesus, Goddisarmed these powers. However, this mystery confrontsus with a new and very hard question: how do we livein this world as witnesses to a powerless God and buildthe kingdom of love and peace?
Does powerlessness mean that we are doomed to bedoormats for our power-hungry society? Does it meanthat it is good to be soft, passive, subservient?alwaysallowing the powers of darkness to dominate our lives?Does it mean that economic weakness, organizationalweakness, physical and emotional weaknesses have now,suddenly, become virtues? Does it mean that people whoare poorly prepared for their tasks can now brag abouttheir poverty as a blessing that calls for gratitude? Whenwe read Paul's words, "My strength is made perfect inweakness" (2 Cor. 12:9), do we imagine that we are dealingwith a weakling who uses his low self-esteem as anargument to proclaim the gospel?
We touch here on one of the most dangerous traps ofa theology of weakness. When we can become free fromthe enslaving powers of the world only by being enslavedby weakness, it seems a lot better to stay on the side ofSatan than on the side of God. If a theology of weaknessbecomes a theology for weaklings, then such a theology isa comfortable excuse for incompetence, submissiveness,self-denigration, and defeat in all fields!
This is far from a theoretical possibility. Not seldom isfinancial, intellectual, and spiritual weakness interpretedas a divine privilege; not seldom is competent medical orpsychological help delayed or avoided in the convictionthat it is better to suffer for God than not to suffer; notseldom is careful planning, aggressive fundraising, andintelligent strategizing for the future frowned on as alack of faithfulness to the ideal of powerlessness. Notseldom have the sick, the poor, the handicapped, andall those who suffer been romanticized as God's privilegedchildren, without much support to free them fromtheir fate.
Nietzsche rightly criticized a theology of weakness. Forhim it was a theology that kept the poor in their povertyand gave the rulers of the religious establishment achance to keep their "faithful" in a state of subservientobedience. Indeed, there is a spirituality of powerlessness,of weakness, of littleness that can be extremelydangerous, especially in the hands of those who feel theyare called to speak and to act in God's name. Of them,Jesus says: "They tie up heavy burdens and lay them onpeople's shoulders, but they will not lift a finger to movethem" (Matt. 23:4).
A theology of weakness challenges us to look at weaknessnot as a worldly weakness that allows us to bemanipulated by the powerful in society and church, butas a total and unconditional dependence on God thatopens us to be true channels of the divine power thatheals the wounds of humanity and renews the face ofthe earth. The theology of weakness claims power, God'spower, the all-transforming power of love.
Indeed, a theology of weakness is a theology thatshows a God weeping for the human race entangled inits power games and angry that these same power gamesare so greedily used by so-called religious people. Indeed,a theology of weakness is a theology that shows how Godunmasks the power games of the world and the churchby entering into history in complete powerlessness. Buta theology of weakness wants, ultimately, to show thatGod offers us, human beings, the divine power to walkon the earth confidently with heads erect.
Continues...
Excerpted from Finding My Way Homeby Henri J. M. Nouwen Copyright © 2001 by Henri J. M. Nouwen. Excerpted by permission.
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