CHAPTER 1

Andrew

The First Disciple

In 1901 and 1902, the American psychologist and philosopher, William James, wasinvited to give the Gifford Lectures on natural religion at the University ofEdinburgh, which grew into his famous book The Varieties of ReligiousExperience. There he presented literally hundreds of descriptions of ways thathuman beings have experienced religious conversion. James is known for thedistinction he drew between people who are "once-born" and those who are "twice-born."The once-born find it much easier to respond to God and to givethemselves in love and obedience because of their personality structure,disposition, and experiences early in life. In contrast, the twice-born havemore conflicted religious experiences, perhaps because of their tempestuouspersonalities or difficult things that have happened to them. These are peoplewho have experiences like Paul's on the road to Damascus, and are likely toexclaim, "Once I was blind and now I see! Once I was dead and now I'm alive!"Some of us may wish for such a sweeping spiritual change in our lives, but Jamessees value in both experiences. Neither is automatic or effortless. A religiousexperience is highly personal and participatory, occurring when something in usfreely responds to that mysterious reality that we dare to call the Holy One.

I remember hearing an old preacher say, "If you could get religion and not knowit, then you could lose it and not miss it." You have to be involved. The once-borncross the stream at the narrowest point, while the twice-born may have tocross an ocean. Christ is the Lord of all kinds of experiences. Disciples in thetwice-born category would include John, who became the "beloved disciple," afterhaving been a "son of thunder" in his youth; and Matthew, the tax collector, andSimon, the Zealot, who began at opposite poles of ideologies and personalitiesbut were so transformed by Jesus that they became intimate companions. Many ofthe disciples in the twice-born category had decisive experiences that markedlychanged their lives, whereas Andrew seemed spiritually inclined from thebeginning. He brought to Jesus a mature spirit and open nature, characteristicof those James called once-born. He moved from strength to strength, and Jesussimply helped to enhance who Andrew was already, without the striking changesthat we find in the journeys of the twice-born. There is no set pattern orsingular way that God works in our lives but rather a vast keyboard on which heplays. All of us are recipients of the mysterious, ingenious mercy of the HolyOne, and it may be that your walk with God has been that steady unfolding ofstrength to strength, from step to step. Andrew's reliable character was verymuch the same throughout his life.

Andrew was one of three pairs of brothers that became part of the intimatecircle of Jesus' disciples. It is interesting that six of the twelve gatheredaround Jesus had another brother who was also a disciple. These brothers wereJames and John, Andrew and Simon Peter, and Matthew and James. Andrew was afisherman by trade, from a little town called Bethsaida, on the northeast cornerof the Sea of Galilee. He went to Capernaum, on the northwestern side of thelake, where tradition says that he and Simon Peter worked for James and John'sfather, Zebedee, in his thriving fishing business. Andrew is mentioned inMatthew, Mark and Luke, but it is only in John that we find any informationabout what kind of person he was, and how he grew in his friendship with Jesus.

The first glimpse we have of Andrew is in the company of John the Baptist, whoseministry touched Andrew's soul and prepared him for Jesus. Many believe he wasthe first disciple to be attracted to Jesus and to say yes to following him.John the Baptist reminded his listeners often that he was not the Messiahhimself, but the one who prepared the way for the Messiah. He would tell themthat he baptized with water, but the One to come would baptize them with theHoly Spirit, the energy and power of God. John the Baptist had a sense ofexpectancy that something was about to happen that would change everything.Andrew was with him one day when Jesus came into John's line of vision. As soonas John saw his cousin, Jesus, he pointed to him and said, "Here is the Lamb ofGod who takes away the sin of the world" (John 1:29). It was his firstacknowledgment that here was the One about whom he had spoken for so long.

I imagine that Andrew and all those who were gathered there with John theBaptist were astounded by his words and, particularly, by the image that hechose: the Lamb of God. You see, for a thousand years, the Israelites had beenlooking for a lion of God to come as the Messiah. They were not looking for alamb. They expected another King David, who would drive out the Romans fromtheir sacred soil and extend the political power of Jerusalem, but that was notGod's intention for the chosen people. God had a different plan in mind when hecalled the descendants of Abraham to be his chosen ones (Genesis 22:17). Thesame generous impulse that moved God to create, also moved him to bless what hehad created.

When you stop and think about it, if the goal is to bless and to re-establishtrusting, loving relationships between God and those who have turned away fromhim, then a lamb willing to endure suffering is what you need. You cannotbludgeon people into being good, nor force seeds of love to grow with asledgehammer. If you want to evoke love and call people out of evil back togoodness, you need someone who is willing to accept and endure the ravages ofevil without imitating and returning evil. The Lamb of God is far betterequipped to restore creation to its loving maker than a king who comes with asword. When it comes to changing evil into good, nothing is more powerful thanthe spectacle of innocent suffering. Yet, the unexpected metaphor of a lamb waslikely to have been confusing, and even shocking, to Andrew.

Jesus and Andrew had both grown up in the northern part of Palestine calledGalilee, which was not a very large area. Andrew could have easily known Jesuswhen he worked in the shop of his father, Joseph, as a young carpenter'sapprentice from the insignificant hill town of Nazareth. Andrew was probablysurprised that a fellow from his hometown area turned out to be the one whom Godhad chosen to do the messianic work. Many of us think that anybody who sharesthe same humble beginnings as ours cannot be particularly special. Time andagain we see this tendency to underestimate the people we have always known. TheWright brothers grew up in Dayton, Ohio and built their flying machine in theirbicycle shop. After they had made their successful flight from Kitty Hawk, NorthCarolina, word of it got back to the newspaper editor in Dayton, who said: "Idon't believe it! I don't think human beings will ever fly. That is notsomething they were meant to do. That's what the birds are supposed to do, andif human beings ever do fly, it won't be anybody from Dayton." That just seemsto be the way we provincial folk are. Andrew might also have said to himself,"Should a messiah of any kind come, be he lamb or lion, he won't be from thatnondescript town of Nazareth!" The amazing thing to me is that, even thoughJesus was far different from what Andrew could have expected, he was willing tolet reality come to him on its own terms. Jesus, the Lamb of God, was not at allwhat Andrew had anticipated, yet he stayed open and receptive to him.

Andrew was with John the Baptist again when John saw Jesus the next day and saidto the crowd for the second time, "Look, here is the Lamb of God." On thisoccasion, Andrew and another disciple followed Jesus and asked him where he wasstaying. Jesus replied with wonderful simplicity, "Come and see" (John 1:39). Heinvited Andrew and his friend to spend time with him and, in that time together,something astonishing occurred: Andrew saw in Jesus the very presence of Godhimself, come to do the work of Messiah. Andrew was willing to allow reality tobreak through his vastly different expectations and registered it fully. Thus hediscovered in Jesus not just another good man making his way to God, but thegood God himself who had chosen to make his way to humankind. It is the deepestcore of my convictions that Jesus gives a face to the mystery of God, and onthat face there is the smile of unconditional love. It is the mystery ofincarnation and the great central truth of the Christian faith that, for us andour salvation, God chose to become what we are, so that we could see moreclearly what God is. It is an overwhelming discovery that the One who walks thepages of the New Testament is God, in a form that we can understand. We humansrarely see the world as it is because of the tendency to paint the windows ofour perceptions with personal desires and expectations. Pretty soon, we aredoing business with the images that we have constructed and confusing them withreality. In contrast, as Jesus revealed himself and Andrew remained open to him,they made a remarkable connection.

As I understand evangelism, it is really gift giving. It is not high-pressuresalesmanship or twisting somebody's arm, but more like one beggar tellinganother beggar where he has found bread. Andrew's very first reaction to havingseen the heart of God in Jesus was to go share this discovery with his brother,Simon Peter. He told him, "We have found the Messiah" (John 1:41). This firstact of passing on what he found meaningful and of value gives us insight intohis nature. It was a sign of Andrew's great maturity and emotional health. Hewas living out what it means to be made in the image of God. Authentic goodnessis self-diffusive, meaning that when something good happens, you want to shareit rather than keep it for yourself. My most vivid memory of wanting to sharegood news with everyone occurred in August 1945, when word came that theJapanese had surrendered and World War II was finally over. I was at a familyreunion in Mississippi, and we all got in cars to drive around town, honk ourhorns, and share the jubilation as the church bells rang. Sharing our joy madethe occasion even more thrilling.

There's a saying often repeated in Twelve-Step programs—we are as sick as oursecrets and as healthy as our sharing. The things that we keep inside, where noone can see and no light can shine, are the things that can make us ill in manyways. We need to acknowledge problems in order to find solutions, and the thingswe are willing to share can be healed through the light of exposure. There is agenerosity in sharing that continues to bless. As soon as Andrew experiencedwhat he had found in Jesus, he was eager to share it with his brother. Andrewknew that Simon Peter was more dynamic, more outgoing, and more of a leader thanhe was. He had probably spent his whole life being introduced as Simon Peter'syounger brother, the one who always played second fiddle. Andrew could have beenpossessive of his relationship with Jesus, as a way of being special, but he wasnot that kind of person. He was bound to have known that if he told his brotherthe amazing news of Jesus, Simon Peter would join in, become closer to Jesusthan Andrew, and become a leader of the group. This would mean that Andrew'splace in that company of Jesus' followers would be diminished because SimonPeter simply had a more dominant personality, but that did not deter him fromsharing his secret.

Simon Peter was more flawed and complicated than Andrew, a classic twice-bornpersonality in William James's typology. Yet, very soon after the group of thetwelve was formed, Simon Peter did become a leader and one of Jesus' threeclosest confidants, along with James and John. Andrew had been the first apostleto follow Jesus, but was not recorded as ever being first in anything else. Thebeautiful thing is that he did not seem resentful or bothered by that at all. Hemust have had the kind of self-acceptance that trusted he was a gift of Godexactly as he was, and that freed him to accept others just as they were. He didnot live his life trying to outdo Simon Peter or anyone else, but was content totake gratefully what he had been given from the hand of God, without envy ofwhat others had been given. The experience of envy is a sign of insecurity. Ifwe are secure in our own uniqueness and can think of ourselves as blessed by Godexactly as we are, then we can celebrate freely the gifts of others. Our livesare each a matchless gift from God, with different limits and special qualitiesthat are all expressions of his love.

I have referred often to a crucial moment in my own spiritual development when Iwas about thirty-four years old. I went to a Kiwanis Club in downtownLouisville, Kentucky, to hear a personnel manager of a large national firm speakabout his philosophy of management. The most memorable thing that he said wasthat, when new recruits joined his team, the first thing he wanted to determineabout them was whether they were intent on being something, or doing something.He said:

People who are intent on being something don't have their ego needs met, so theyare always trying to use the job to promote themselves. At one level, they mightwant to do what needs to be done to solve a problem but, at a deeper level, theyare more concerned about how they can use occasions to come out ahead andadvance up the career ladder. People like that are not likely to take risks ormake sacrifices, so they are a real liability to any company. The higher theygo, the more costly their decisions become, in their own self-interest, and theworse it is for the whole enterprise. My task is to identify and weed out thosepeople as quickly as I can. In contrast, the people who want to do something aremore secure and self-confident. They believe that the way that they are is good,and they don't try to use their job to enhance their status. When a problemarises, they simply ask what needs to be done and are willing to do it withoutworrying about getting the credit. They have the kind of judgment that thecompany needs at the highest levels.

I had never heard that distinction before, and I confess to you that thisspeaker held up a mirror to my own condition. As I heard those two types ofpersonality described, I realized in ways I could not deny that, all my life, Ihad been trying to be something because of a crippling sense that I was not goodenough as I was. I was trying to get something from outside of myself that wouldmake me feel better on the inside. It was a startling insight that I had been sobusy trying to get something from my work for myself that I did not give myselfunreservedly to any task. This realization broke new ground and prepared me forwhat happened next.

At a private meeting of fellow clergy a few weeks later, someone said to me,"John, if you and I could ever hear the Gospel deep in our gut, we could fullybelieve the astonishing affirmation: 'You are the light of the world.' Jesus didnot say that you have to be number one to get light, or out-achieve everybodyelse to earn light. He said that, by the grace of God's creation, you are thelight of the world. If we could ever feel that truth in the depth of our souls,then we could truly let our light shine. We could give freely what has beengiven to us and know that the glory belongs rightly to the God who created usall." That was a pivotal, life-changing moment for me, as I comprehended that Iwas already the light of the world, not by virtue of what I had made of myself,but because of what God had made of me. I did not have to compete, compare, ortry to do better than everybody else, but could simply give of myself, out ofthe grace of my own creation.

I believe that Andrew possessed genuine spiritual maturity and self-acceptance.He would have been high on the list of the personnel manager in Louisville,because he was more intent on what he needed to do than on what he would be. Hewas willing to take the amazing news about Jesus and share it with Simon Peter,in spite of knowing that doing so would mean that he would be elbowed out of thelimelight. He was secure enough to remain in the background with more concernfor the common good than for his own welfare alone. That is a high and worthygoal for every one of us, and it is within reach when we trust that we are thelight of the world. We are what we are by the grace of God, and we do what we doout of what we have been given, not what we have earned through our own efforts.

The next time we see Andrew, he was with Jesus and the other disciples in awilderness area when they came upon a huge group of people. Jesus began to teachthem and heal those who needed healing. As the day wore on and the sun began toset, restlessness moved through this crowd of more than five thousand. Thedisciples became anxious and as much as said to Jesus, "Don't you think we oughtto dismiss this group? They are getting hungry and people get unruly when theydon't have enough food. We might have a riot on our hands. Let's disburse thiscrowd and send them to the nearest villages to get something to eat." I caneasily understand why the disciples would have fears about this crowd becausethe evangelists recorded that there were five thousand men there, not countingthe women and the children. In spite of this huge number of people, Jesus toldhis disciples, "You give them something to eat." He calmly approached the wholesituation by asking, "How many loaves have you? Go and see." Well, feeding thisenormous mass of people was something the disciples had not even considered.They were focused on the problem of scarcity, and it had never occurred to themthat there might be resources available within the present situation.