Forgiveness and how it healed My Life

I'm sure most if not all of you can relate to the feeling that you have been hurt; that someone said or did something that really hurt you. Or that something happened in the world as you see it that makes you feel hurt, depressed. Can we overcome these hurt feelings? The depression? The bitterness? The anxiousness? Yes! An emphatic Yes!

Bitterness manifested itself in several ways for me; toward myself for not seeing or accepting the truth of the situation earlier, toward my spouse, toward the loss of the future I thought we would have together.

Once the divorce was in the past a few months, the bitterness eased up a lot. I began to see forgiveness as a subject in books and articles. One book that has profoundly impacted many others as well as myself is A Course in Miracles. A Course of Miracles has as a main theme the subject of Forgiveness.

Think of the many ways we live life in a fear state. From a society perspective, armies, weapons, etc. are all created out of the fear we may be attacked, or that an ally will be attacked. Fear also comes from those who put their will ahead of ours. These 'extreme' groups are in themselves acting out of fear.

We move quickly in many modes of transportation, some like f lying or even driving causing fear. We also often easily slip into a 'what will happen next?" This can and often does become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

At a more personal level fear may emanate about our day-to-day life. Fear of loss or impact to: Home, Property, work/career, relationships, friends, our health, the health of our family and friends ... even the weather.

Besides all the stress that comes about with these fears, and a lot of stress that is for everyone there is an important revelation I need to share:

The sub-conscious mind interprets requests/thoughts literally. If you are afraid something 'bad' might happen. Then the mind sees 'something' and gets it for you! The sub-conscious mind does not interpret good/bad or I want versus I don't want. This is another way of saying we create our own worldview.

As Albert Einstein stated "There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle. I choose to see life on this magnificent earth as a miracle!

Let us all strive to seek joy, happiness, and love! Forgiveness is a good place to start!

To truly let go of the past, to let go of hard feelings you have for another person or especially yourself is so freeing, so healing. It is so important to see life as happening through us, not to us! Realize we are all doing the best that we can at each moment with what we know and understand. To do this, to forgive, is so heart opening. It is a journey. Do the best that you can. Forgive yourself, forgive others and begin to see the world anew!

Much of the drama of the world revolves around hanging on to the past, past hurts, past grudges; this is certainly true for me. It was, however, the bitterness (acting as a catalyst) that finally got me moving. Finally allowing blessed change to occur!

Certainly most of the conflicts of the world, past or present, revolve around one group feeling another has done them wrong. Or that they have been judged for their beliefs, color, traditions, or customs, or been kicked off of 'their' land. Control of land and its resources is just one avenue for human conflict. Certainly there has and still is much prejudice in the world. To move beyond this we must forgive it. Forgive the past and all the actions and events. It is primarily when we bring up the past that we suffer it again and again. Certainly this is an upside down thought cycle. These thought cycles if you will are almost a torrent at times. We will look at this later. Know that the past is done and cannot touch us. The past cannot be changed, however you may look upon it with love and forgiveness and cherish the happy and loving times. These happy, joyful times are what are remembered in heaven. In fact that is all that is remembered! Grateful I am and with joy for our beloved creator!

Learning to accept change is an important lesson in life. So often life brings greater joy and peace as we let go of the past, even the present moment. Life is a journey; accepting change instead of resisting it is a path to growth and a more relaxing stress-free life. This acceptance can be applied to any part of life; at home; at work; family time; vacation; anytime!

There is a useful and simple tool that can help with forgiveness. The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)! EFT helps simply by removing the emotional sting of any past event/trauma from the event itself. You still remember it. It just no longer has the cringing sting of hurt feelings, guilt, sadness, loss, shock, etc. ... This is achieved with only a few minutes to an hour or so for most people. It utilizes tapping on acupuncture points while reciting simple phrases to acknowledge the hurt/pain/fear. Followed by positive statements ... There are many books on this topic. I would start with The Tapping Solution (2013) by Nick Ortner ... There are also recorded tapping phrases, with links in the book. Please get the book so that you understand the process and optional tapping patterns. I have used EFT to great success with emotional issues both with my ex-wife and an ex-girlfriend, and my own issues such as doubt, fear of expressing myself, etc. Once the emotional 'sting' is gone, it becomes much easier to forgive, to let it go. Much easier to look on the past with gratitude, love and compassion ...

God, Source, The Universe (whatever term you are comfortable) Loves us all unconditionally all day, every day.

Let us consider the term All. Sometimes the ego is so likely to state: Healing might be fine for others, but not you! God may love everyone, but not you! This may work for some, but not you. The ego is more likely to pit each of us against the world. Funny how the ego can make each of us the exception to any belief that we are all from source, all from love, that well being f lows to all of us! A Course in Miracles (ACIM)5 states the ego state varies from cautious to vicious ... From my life experience I know it to be true! I believe it!

From ACIM Lesson 134, let me perceive forgiveness as it is. I include a short excerpt of this lesson for the book. You can read it in its entirety online at www.acim.org

Paragraph 6. "It is sin's unreality that makes forgiveness natural and wholly sane, a deep relief to those who offer it, a quiet blessing where it is received. It does not countenance illusions, but collects them lightly, with a little laugh, and gently lays them at the feet of truth. And there they disappear entirely."

It is a powerful statement, and one that f lies in the face of what many of us have learned to believe. And that is to feel that others have hurt us or that we have hurt them. Through forgiveness we begin to cherish life. Cherish our life and all life on earth. A precious planet we live on with life teeming everywhere. By everywhere, I mean on every continent, every mountain, every valley, and every ocean no matter how deep, and in the skies. Just stand next to a tree and see the other life that visits it or calls it home! Now with evidence from telescopes such as the Hubble Space Telescope we see many more galaxies beyond our own Milky Way. See the photographs included in this book! All these galaxies have many billions of stars in each of them. Recently we have been able to discern planets around nearby stars. I have no doubt that stars with planets are fairly common and no doubt there is life on at least some of them! For there to be no life on any other planet would be startling!

Other Quotes that I love and hope you do!

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel, Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free" -- Catherine Ponder

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." Lewis B. Smedes

"The weak can never forgive; Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong" Mahatma Gandhi

Yet I know that many struggle with forgiveness. I have. Certainly there are and have been many terrible acts. It seems that man's inhumanity to his fellow man knows no bounds: War, fighting, murder, kidnapping, torture, abuse, disease, betrayal, etc. The tragedy seems all the more worse when children are involved. Still I hope we can learn to forgive all. Jesus said on the cross "Forgive them for they know not what they do" I would hope you agree that those who commit 'crimes' are not in their right mind, not at all. Still these 'mistakes' as ACIM refers to them are easily corrected through salvation that you can accept now. Salvation is completed after leaving our earthly bonds and what fear we have in our mind is released, corrected, cleared. Please try to forgive yourself and others and release the toxic emotions and feelings you have. ... Do your best! Why? Forgiveness is essential to allow healing. How can healing or miracles occur if we are holding something against another or yourself?

Judas asked Jesus "how do we develop the Way?" The "Way" was the term used then for spirituality or enlightenment. Jesus responded by stating, "By developing Love and Compassion" Love and compassion. ... To be compassionate to others and yourself is to be gentle, understanding, accepting, allowing, and forgiving. Let us all work to be more compassionate.

Let Forgiveness begin with you!

With any change let it begin with you. Forgive yourself; accept yourself as the wholly loving being that you are. Even if you are working on changing, always accept and love yourself in this moment. Why should we begin with ourselves? How can we possibly learn to forgive and accept others unless we come from a place where we have first forgiven and accepted ourselves? A Course in Miracles states that some have learned to heal others and yet have left themselves out of that possibility.

Forgiving your self, blessing your self is a continuous process. Why? We so often 'fall back' to old thought patterns; to old beliefs; to old actions, to old perspectives, to old fears. I have and still do occasionally fall back to old thought patterns. Meditation allows us to 'catch' these thoughts more quickly. The mind is so apt to bring the past back so that you can look at it again and suffer it again. Worse it can try to reshape it so it is in more your favor, or less so. Insidious are these thought loops. This 'mind chatter' if you will is nearly constant in many of us (it is in me!). You can with time and meditation learn to become aware of it and stop listening and reacting to it. Think of staying above it!

often as you can catch yourself in 'negative or depressing' thought loops, switch that record to a happy tune. Choose a happy time from the day or the past. Be willing to forgive yourself, love will do the rest. Please know that as you apply meditation and replacing dark thoughts with happy ones, you will slowly bring the mind (subconscious) around and the 'dark' thoughts will become less frequent and you will become better at catching them as they appear!

You first must believe that you can forgive yourself. Just as you must believe that you can be healed! Intent is so important in enabling healing. You must believe it will work! Have faith!

Get in a comfortable position and space where you will not be disturbed. Take a deep breath. Let it out slowly. Close your eyes and breath deeply through your nose for a minute or two. You will find that as you relax and breath you become calmer. If thoughts come up (and they will!) Let them go as easily as you exhale. If you become lost in thought, worry not! Just return to noticing your breath. [??] From a calm or at least calmer state, state "I love me", I forgive me, I am forgiven. God loves me. You can do this in front of a mirror if you like. Look into your beautiful eyes! Look softly, with compassion. Try to do this several times a day. When you get up and before you go to bed. Remember it is a process. You did not set your beliefs in a day, so stay positive! With practice your subconscious mind will "start playing a happier tune, happier thoughts....

Consider this while meditating. Do not get angry or frustrated with yourself if thoughts or replays of the past keep coming up. You cannot win a thought fight with yourself! The best approach is to lose attachment to them. Only lightly acknowledge them and let them go. Thank them if you will ...

If you find yourself with self-doubts/judgments, try replacing them with loving thoughts, happy thoughts. Perhaps some past event or occasion those made you happy or smile. Do your best to stay in the present moment. It is all we ever have! Celebrate life!

Just as you can change the tune playing on your music player (or radio station [??]), you can change the tune in your head. It may seem impossible. The constant stream of thoughts is daunting! Just as you can consciously take over breathing to breath more fully, you can change your thoughts to be more kind, soft, allowing.

Again this is a journey. One where it is easy to get down on your self as old thought patterns return, or distractions seem to come one after another. As ACIM states often, simply choose again. Choose again! Choose to point toward forgiveness and peace will follow.

Forgiving yourself and loving yourself is so important in living a happier, joyful life. Forgiving others frees them and more importantly frees you! Frees you to be more loving and accepting to the f low of life!

Know that our creator loves you unconditionally. I like saying God loves us all. You can use any term you like, source, love, the universe, that which is beyond my thoughts ...

Allow love in. Allow well-being in. It is always there. Thankfully!

Love created me like itself! Love created us like itself! Believe it! If we are part of the earth; and the earth part of the Solar System; and the Solar System is part of the Milky Way galaxy; then we are apart of the galaxy. In fact we are apart of the universe! Something so large, so grand it is hard to fathom.

Forgiving Everything and Everyone

Everything and everyone can be forgiven! No matter what has occurred in the past. Whether it is an event in your personal life or on the world stage. Turn off the TV! Please at least turn it off during the local or National News. They mostly air negative material. Who was arrested, on what charge. Wars, gossip. It only serves to depress us or make us worry. Bless the newscasters and all involved and turn the dang TV off! You won't regret it! If it is really something you need to know your friends or family will be talking about it. With weather news now available on the web and smart phone apps you need not watch it on TV and get caught up in the news. Many people find the concept of forgiving larger worldly events difficult due to the often shown very violent actions that some take toward others. We must try to accept that forgiveness is for all. If we are all part of creation, then forgive! Speaking of part of creation, it is now known through science that every atom that every atom, every molecule in us and for that matter in anything we see on this beloved earth comes from stars! Yes all living things and all non-living matter that makes up our planet came from the end cycle of many stars. The whole earth is contained of material that came from stars as they ended their 'life' and exploded or went supernova, and so do we, from a physical perspective! Of course it is best to think of us as soul, spirit, with a physical body for this beautiful ride on Earth!

We live on a planet, which is dynamic and changing. Sometimes natural events occur that put others or us in danger. The naturally occurring Floods, tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanoes, are problematic for sure. These events can cause destruction and many to be injured or die. These events must be forgiven as well. Again just be willing to forgive others and events. That is enough to set it in motion! To help in a positive way, contribute to the recovery effort after these events in whatever manner fits