CHAPTER 1

Commencement Day:New Beginnings

Commencement Day, 1993. Alicia's graduation ceremony was about tobegin at the Olsten Convention Center. As she walked from the parking lotto enter the main entrance Alicia saw the crowd of educators and relativesof the graduates. She entered the auditorium, following the signs directinggraduates to the stairwell that led to the lower level of the auditorium. Theair-conditioned basement room felt like a refrigerator, and the voices ofthe graduates filled the space with anticipatory excitement. Alicia stoodthere quietly viewing her peers, many of whom she'd never seen or metwhile attending Mason Junior College. She waited to hear the instructionsfor everyone to form a processional line.

Soon enough, everyone proceeded to the upper level of the auditorium.There in the center were rows of chairs where all the graduates would sit.As each graduate walked past they stopped briefly in front of the Americanflag for a photo. Each student gazed into the camera with a smile expressingthe joy and accomplishment of the moment. The photographer capturedAlicia's mood, her bright smile showed her pride in wearing the graduationcap that barely covered her long woolly hair. As she approached the rowwhere she was to sit she scanned the rows of guest seats up above. Soonshe spotted a short gentleman in a gray suit, his light-brown wrinkled facebeaming as he motioned to get Alicia's attention. Alicia smiled and wavedat her great-uncle, William. Her father, Todd, and his wife, Annalise, satnext to her great-uncle, as did her cousin, Ahmir, Uncle Will's son. Aliciasmiled and waved at the rest of her relatives. Her great-aunt, Joyce, wasn'table to attend the commencement ceremony, but Alicia had received abouquet of flowers and a fruit basket with wine and cheese the day before.Joyce and William were divorced, and Joyce had remarried and now livedin another state.

Finding her seat, Alicia focused on the commencement proceedings. Theceremony lasted for three hours. Afterward the graduates moved into theaisles, making their way toward the lobby of the convention center wheretheir relatives waited. Alicia walked into the lobby, looking for her family.Hearing Ahmir call her name, she turned to see him standing next toher father. "You two could pass for twins," Alicia said as Ahmir smiled,congratulating her and patting her on her back. Todd stood silent, butAnnalise walked over to embrace Alicia. Alicia thanked her for coming.

Uncle Will pushes his way through the crowd, eagerly asking Alicia, "Howabout we all meet later tonight? Where do you want to go?"

"I don't have a particular preference," Alicia said.

Uncle Will added, "Oh yeah, I'm sorry Linda and Pam couldn't make it.Pam's job transferred her to Akron, and Linda could not get any time offfrom work. She'll be able to meet with us tonight."

"I understand, Uncle Will," Alicia said.

That evening William, Todd, Annalise, Ahmir, and Alicia met at a localjazz club and restaurant. Linda called William on his cell phone, tellinghim that she was on her way.

"Here," William said, handing Alicia an envelope. "Don't open it untilyou get home. It's from me and Ahmir."

"Thank you both," Alicia said. Turning to Ahmir, she asked, "So how'sMesha?" Mesha was Ahmir's fiancée of two years.

"She's fine. She said to tell you congrats and she's sorry she couldn't makeit," Ahmir replied.

"No problem," Alicia said. "I figured she was busy with work."."

"Yeah, her company sent her out of town again." Ahmir said with afrowned.

"Hey, girl!" Linda greeted Alicia, who stood up as her cousin approachedthe table. Alicia moved away from the table to give Linda a hug.

"I'm sorry I couldn't make it earlier," Linda apologized.

"That's not important. I'm just glad you're here," Alicia said. "Everybodystop apologizing! Let's enjoy our meal and the rest of the night."

"So what are your plans? What are you gonna do with that degree, girl?"Linda wanted to know.

"Since my major is business administration, I plan on getting an entry-leveladministrative position," Alicia said.

"Well, there's quite a few administrative positions open in severaldepartments at the company I work for," Linda remarked.

"Really?" Alicia asked.

Linda nodded. "Come to human resources office on Crawford Roadtomorrow morning between eight and ten. Dress professionally!" Lindapaused to give the waiter her order, and then she continued. "Recruitersmight be there. Sometimes they will ask to interview people right afterthey fill out applications. That happened to two of my coworkers," Lindasaid.

They were quiet for a bit as the waiter served their food, and everyonebegan to eat.

"How's your meal, Dad?" Alicia asked.

"You've been awfully quiet, Todd," Linda said.

Todd just looked at the both of them, giving them a phony grin inresponse.

Alicia and her family stayed at the restaurant until closing.

The following morning, Alicia went to G.roup & P.artnership, A.ssociation[G & P A Insurance]

Incorporated, the insurance company where Linda worked. Alicia appliedfor the position of claims processor, which would require her to assist withnegotiating and settling auto and medical claims, primarily processingand submitting the paperwork to finalize claims for payment of vehiculardamages and medical injuries. She was hired after three successfulinterviews.

Two weeks after obtaining employment at G & P A Insurance, Alicia wasdriving home from work, to the apartment she'd lived in ever since herfirst year at Mason Junior College. It was late Friday afternoon, and Aliciawas surprised to find a brand-new navy-blue Honda Accord coupe parkedin her usual space in the apartment building's parking garage. Annoyed,she found another parking space and pulled in. Just then, she felt her cellphone vibrate in her pocket, pulled out the phone, and answered.

"Do you see the gift Todd left for you?" Uncle Will asked.

Alicia was confused. "No. What gift?"

"You didn't see the brand-new car parked in your space?"

"Oh! That gift!" Alicia said into the phone, a grin spreading across herface. She had not expected a gift of that size from her father. She got outof her old Buick Regal and walked over to the shiny new Accord, her cellphone still pressed against her ear. Looking at the car and smiling, Aliciatold her uncle, "Tell my dad I said thank you."

"Drive over here and tell him yourself!" William said. "We got anothersurprise waiting for you."

Alicia, elated but not sure what the other surprise could possibly be, closedher cell phone, put it back in her pocket, and got into the Accord. Shefound the key under the driver-side floor mat, started the car, and droveto her father's home. While en route, thoughts of the past came into hermind, and she listened to her thoughts and memories.

Alicia could hear the tune, "Happy Feelin'," blaring from a distance.That song always conjured up memories of her mother; just seeing thatpale-blue bungalow—4598 Carol Street—brought back the mellow moodof the past. She pulled up to the driveway and got out of the car. Everyonegreeted her with hugs and shouts of congratulations. Not wanting toappear antisocial, she hung around outside and talked, but she felt such anintense need to go inside her father's house and stand in the hallway rightin front of her old bedroom. After thanking her father for the car, Aliciawalked up to the back door, entered the house, and stood in the hallway.The sound of the music playing in the backyard faded as the memories ofthe summer after her mom's passing consumed her mentally.

Todd and Alicia had attended a jazz festival where he met Annalise,his current wife. She remembered how Todd scoped the crowd, hiseyes gravitating toward a voluptuous woman with a smooth mahoganycomplexion. He attempted to get the woman's attention. Alicia hoped thathe'd gotten the message when the woman didn't respond. Not wantinganyone to replace her mother, she held on tight to Todd's arm. Persistentin his desire to attract the woman, he wiggled his arm out of her tinyhands. Keeping up his determination, he focused on the woman, makinghis move during intermission. "Wait here," he told Alicia.

She could still feel the anger she'd felt then, standing there watching himapproached the woman. They began to talk, and not once throughouttheir conversation did he look back at Alicia.

When he walked back to where Alicia stood waiting, she ignored him,continuing to look in the direction of the stage. She felt her father lookingat her but didn't acknowledge him.

Finally, Todd asked, "You want something to snack on?" She answeredwith a flat no, still not looking at him.

He never asked her what was wrong, just kept right on enjoying the concert.During the other second intermissions he'd left Alicia again she knewwhere he was going. Todd's disregard for her feelings infuriated Alicia.Later she came to realize that her father missed her mother—Annaliseresembled her mom physically and shared some of her personality traitstoo—but that night Alicia had been too hurt and scared to notice.

Sitting on the living room sofa now, Alicia stared out the large baywindow, watching the light traffic and listening to Marvin Gaye sing "TheChildren." Gaye expressed his concern for the future of the children, andthe future he sang about was now the present. Alicia's generation was to bethe promise, the fruit of the political, economic, and social struggle, butthey had become the inheritors of a materialistic playground. Her father'ssearch for happiness, his willingness to be temporarily neglectful in orderto soothe his pain, reminded her of those lyrics. As she listened to thesong she connected her past with its meaning. The lyrics spoke of painand the human need for love, showing how selfishness created the distancebetween people, leading to a future with no compassion and a "me first"mind-set. Which was exactly where the world was now.

Other songs wafted into the house from the backyard as Alicia continuedher musings, looking down at the brown leather sofa she sat on. Her fatherhad replaced the old one, the one from her childhood. The soft, beigefabric sofa had been so comfortable to curl up on. The brown leather, withits constant shine, was nowhere near as inviting. Her mind again driftedback to that same summer.

Three weeks after the jazz festival, her summer vacation was almost over.She had expected to be with her father for the entire summer, right upto the end, but on the Friday evening of the last weekend of summervacation, Todd got ready to go out.

Alicia sat on the living-room sofa—the old beige one—and Todd walkedinto the room, ready to leave. "There's some chips and pop in the kitchenif you get hungry," he said. "Don't open this door for no one. Do you hearme?"

She looked back at him without responding, watching him leave. Shewatched television for an hour and then went into the kitchen. Taking thechips off the kitchen table, she walked to the fridge to get the pop, takingthe half of a submarine sandwich that she found next to the bottle of pop.She only ate part of the sandwich but finished the chips. After drinkinga glass of pop, she went back into the living room, watched television forthree more hours. By midnight, her eyelids were heavy. The televisionscreen had changed to snow, and she fell asleep on the sofa.

When she opened her eyes she heard laughter coming from her father'sbedroom, followed by a woman's soft voice and then a whisper. Aliciatiptoed to the red recliner next to the sofa. She settled into the chair,adjusted it to a comfortable position, and attempted to fall back to sleep,but to no avail. Alicia laid there on the recliner in the living room, withher eyes wide open the rest of the night. She turned toward the windowto watch the sun rise as the darkness of the night sky faded. Eventuallyshe drifted back to sleep, waking up again, this time to the smell ofpancakes.

Her father came into the living room, interrupting her memories whenhe called out, "Alicia! Why you sittin' in here? Everybody's asking aboutyou."

Alicia smelled the alcohol on her father's breath as she got up from thesofa. He staggered toward her, and she attempted to assist him.

Snatching his arm away from her, he said, "I don't need your help!"

"Why not? You can barely walk," Alicia retorted as she and Todd walkedinto the backyard.

"Where did you disappear to?" William asked Alicia.

"I was in the house," Alicia replied, seeing her grandmother, Evelyn, sittingin a lawn chair a couple of feet away from the barbecue grill, two emptybottles of beer next to her chair, a third beer in one hand, and plate of foodin the other. Alicia went over briefly to greet her grandmother. Evelyn gaveher granddaughter a quick hello, congratulating Alicia on her graduation,but she didn't further the conversation.

Alicia turned to sit with her great-uncle and cousins, letting her mindwander again as everyone around her kept talking.

After six months on the job at G & P A, Alicia began to understandthat surviving in the corporate world meant doing what her supervisorexpected, but the work soon became tedious. Although the pressure ofresolving the majority of claims was a lot like running a race, Alicia oftenfound herself overcome by the boredom of her job—to the point whereshe actually became drowsy. Her life was too repetitive, too dull, toounfulfilling. She wanted to venture out to find something new. Insteadof looking for a new job, she tried brainstorming to find alternatives.Nothing seemed economically feasible.

One night after work Alicia stopped by the grocery store to pick up a fewitems, and she bumped into Jacob.

"Hey, girl!" Jacob called out to her. They stood in the same aisle of theproduce section.

Alicia quickly looked up, hearing Jacob's familiar voice. "Hey," she saidreaching out to hug him as he moved closer. "I haven't seen you in a while.What've you been up to?"

"I'm not livin' in the States anymore."

"For real?!" Alicia asked.

Jacob nodded. "For real," he confirmed. "I'm commuting between Harare,Zimbabwe, and Luanda, Angola."

"How long you been livin' there?" Alicia asked.

"I moved to Africa a few years after high school," Jacob told her.

"What do you do there?" Alicia asked.

"I'm a teacher I trained under Maliq X. He's the gentleman I told aboutwhen we first met at Harvard High. You remember? He and his wifestarted that educational pilot program I was in," Jacob explained.

"Yeah, I remember," Alicia said.

"He and I've been working to develop a transitional school in Zimbabwefor the youths attending the center here in Cleveland," Jacob said.

"Really? Wow!" Alicia said, impressed.

"Right now we're working with an architectural firm and constructioncompany. Both companies are in Zimbabwe; we decided we're going tobuild the school near Harare," Jacob said.

"That's wonderful, Jacob. I'm glad to hear your doing well," Alicia toldhim.

"Here," Jacob said, handing Alicia a business card. "If you ever decide tocome to Harare or Luanda, let me know."

"Thanks," Alicia said, taking the card. "How's your family?"

"Everybody's doing well," Jacob replied. "Well, I have to go." Hopefullywe'll be able to get together soon."

"Sure, okay see ya later!" Alicia said. She looked at the business card hegave her; the address of the learning center, Epic, was not far from whereshe worked. She noticed that Jacob's cell phone number was also on thecard.

The next day during her lunch break Alicia went to Epic, where she metImani X, Maliq's wife. Imani took Alicia on a tour of the center, asking ifAlicia considered enrolling her child. Alicia explained that she and Jacobwere old friends, reiterating what Jacob had previously told her about thecenter. Imani encouraged Alicia to continue looking around.

As she walked around the center's environment intrigued her: incensepermeated the lobby area and the entire building and bright colors filledthe space. She heard the voice of an instructor coming from one of theclassrooms. The lobby housed several shelves of books and DVDs, andAlicia scanned the titles. The walls of the center bore a design of brightgreen, red, and gold, the central figure of which was a golden bird thatappeared to be a dove. Wooden ornaments etched with the symbol ofthe ankh appeared throughout the center as well. Alicia had noticed thatImani wore a ring, the head of which was also in the shape of the ankh.

Before leaving Epic, Alicia asked Imani if the center sponsored trips toAfrica. Handing Alicia a brochure with Epic's logo and photos of Africa,Imani replied, "We sponsor trips to Zimbabwe, Angola, Mozambique,Ghana, and Egypt every year; we provide lodging, so you would only needto pay for your meals and airfare." Seeing Alicia's smile, Imani continued."You can make your flight reservations through us or through a travelagency. The dates of the trips are inside the brochure."

"I'll make the flight arrangements through you," Alicia said.

"Do you want to do this now?" Imani asked.

"Yes!" Alicia told her, shocked by her own spontaneity. She made atentative booking, realizing that she hadn't made any arrangements fortime off from work.

CHAPTER 2

The Motive Is Selfishness

A year after graduating from high school Alicia moved into Nikki'sapartment in spite of Todd's prior objections. The two shared thecondominium purchased by Nikki's father. A year after Alicia movedin, Nikki began allowing people to use her keys to the condo; who wereacquaintances she had not known for a long time, as well as her fiancé,Mario Browne. Some of Alicia's money, jewelry and clothes began missing,which led to constant arguing between Nikki and Alicia. As a result, thetwo would not speak to each other for months at a time. Alicia eventuallymoved out of the condo and into a one-bedroom apartment two blocksaway, where she lived now. It had fewer amenities than the condo, whichhad two and half baths, a large kitchen, dining and living rooms, butAlicia liked living there.

Meanwhile, Nikki and Mario now lived together. They lay in bed, wideawake and unable to sleep because of the summertime humidity. The airconditioning was on the fritz. The two had been in their relationship fortwo years. When Mario began regularly staying at the condo, Alicia toldNikki she wasn't comfortable being in the unit with Mario when Nikkiwasn't there. Nikki just ignored Alicia's concerns, Alicia didn't realize atthe time that Mario was a ploy to encourage Alicia to move out. Marionever imagined himself attempting to seduce Alicia. Nikki looked acrossthe bed at Mario now. With a smirk on her face, she asked, "Did you andAlicia ever ...?"