Are we involved in politics from the moment of conception? Is there such a thing as family politics, politics in friendships and at the workplace? Is politics more global than government? Sylvia Weber, MSN, CNS, the author of A Guide for Compassion in Political Power believes that the answer to these questions is YES! Sylvia discusses the role of power and control-is it for us, for power over others, or to use and share for the good of the many? Do we live our lives consciously in the moment, aware of the impact we have for today and the future? Have we integrated our spirituality into how we live our lives? What is compassion and its role in our interactions with others and the world around us? How do the concepts of power, control, consciousness, spirituality, and compassion relate to all political arenas? Sylvia answers these questions, as well as sharing strategies for being more comfortable with ourselves and how to bring compassion into all the political arenas we're involved in. Even though A Guide for Compassion in Political Power is applicable in all of life, almost all of the examples are related to government politics.
a guide for Compassion in Political Power
By SYLVIA WEBERBALBOA PRESS
Copyright © 2012 Sylvia Weber
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4525-5338-2Contents
Foreword.......................................xiPreface........................................xviiAcknowledgements...............................xxiCOMPASSION.....................................1Power and Control..............................1Compassion.....................................4Consciousness..................................10Spiritual Dimension............................12PUTTING IT TOGETHER............................17What We Bring to the Table.....................24Additional Strategies..........................34SUMMARY........................................49Bibliography...................................55
Chapter One
Compassion
POWER AND CONTROL:
I have met the rare person who does not want to have a sense of power and control over their lives. The majority of us do and the important factor is the type of power and the type of control we exercise. For the purpose of this guide power will be viewed as the ability or capacity to perform, to get something done. According to Elizabeth Barrett, RN, PhD, a professor at Hunter College School of Nursing, power is the capacity to participate knowingly in change (2). She also speaks of the four inseparable dimensions of power:
Awareness – of what you're doing and what
Choices – are available with
Freedom – to act intentionally with the will to have
Involvement - in creating change.
This requires the qualities and the means to carry it out. Control will be viewed as having the authority, ability, dominance to manage and direct personal and/or social activities.
Power struggles and power over others are destructive forces, a game that no one wins. If the purpose is to protect one's turf, then the action is out of fear. Fear takes away our power. When we use power through our connections, then we're dependent on others. Power through connections can be taken away. The same is true in the insider (part of the "good ole boy/girl" network) vs. outsider dynamic. The actions in this type of dynamic also encourages us to act out of fear that we may lose something. They encourage an adversarial competition and excludes the input and gifts from others and the "outsiders" which diminishes the positive impact. The dynamics that foster fear, exclusion, adversarial positions, etc. encourage us to struggle with the same issues year after year, decade after decade, the "fighting the same battle" syndrome. Personal power and control, if other and not self directed, is limited and can weaken us or a situation since the only true power and control we have is over our own actions, how we choose to respond, and how we allow life's circumstance to impact us. Is the power and control we seek for us, for others to share? Power and control over encourages us to look over our shoulder and feel owned. Is there a score card, "Look what I did for you, you owe me," or, "I'll do this for you only if you support what I want"? This position sets up the pound of flesh syndrome, and has an adversarial component. All involved want to make sure the score is kept even from their perspective. Another misuse of power is how we intimidate others to prevent them from speaking out against injustices, wrong practices, etc., to prevent "Whistle Blowing." We attempt to silence whistle blowers through threats, retribution, lies about them, overstating their behavior, publicly diminishing them, etc. If we are to use power and control for the common good, the good of the many, then we need to not act out of ego and the power of the physical form. It needs to be "us", not "me".
People involved in the political arena deal with power and control to be able to influence outcomes. When this is not balanced with an attitude of togetherness for the good of the many, with compassion, again, we are dealing with power and control over and the benefit for the few. This has been our primary mode of action and look where it has brought us – homelessness, people starving, rampant disease, bankruptcy, a dying environment, annihilation, etc. Are we proud of this world we created and leaving for our children and grandchildren? When we join together without judgment, without personal (for me only) goals, with compassion, we are much more than the number of people present. This compassionate attitude allows us to access a greater power that is unlimited, a universal power, rather than personal power, which is limited.
When an action creates a feeling of inner fulfillment and joy it has its own power. This power not only comes from within us, it is also connected to All.
COMPASSION:
According to the dictionary, compassion is sympathy, pity, sorrow with the urge to help (42). For me this is a limited definition. Dr. Krieger, at a workshop, stated that compassion can be passive, we see and feel bad, and/or active, we do something about it. . Compassion is more than sympathy, pity and empathy. Lakoff states that empathy is an intuiting experience of the emotional states of another (17). He also states that research shows us that we are born with the capacity for empathy, a neural mechanism that tells you that you will feel better if you help. He also uses a phrase that for over 35 years I have called the platinum rule – do unto others as THEY would have you do unto them. To me, compassion is more global, more encompassing. It includes the physical, mental/emotional and spiritual planes. Both empathy and compassion are morally powerful and encourages a connection with all of life and our physical world. They're an invitation to others to feel better. Sympathy and pity can encourage enabling. Enabling allows others to not be accountable for their behavior, facilitates dependency and increases behaviors that keep them in the same situation, behavior that may not in their highest good. An example of enabling is how the economic bailout of 2008 and 2009 was created and utilized. In many instances the bailout encouraged the continuation of behavior that created the situation. Compassion encourages hope, change that encourages greater harmony. Compassion is centered in the heart and includes the word "passion". We feel it throughout us with great intensity. It transcends our own personal interest and therefore our egos are not involved. It is the heart connected to our place of all knowing (about 2-3 inches around and behind the navel) that helps to give us the ability to create. Compassion requires responsibility and strength, a willingness to be vulnerable and have no hidden agendas. This does not mean we will not experience our humanness and human emotions, such as fear, anger, pain, etc. How these emotions impact our life, how we deal with them changes. We do not allow them to determine who we are and dictate our life and actions. Compassion tends to dispel our fear when it is not related to a truly life threatening situation. It helps us to peel away the layers of who we are that are no longer useful, no longer fit, to show compassion for ourselves and to nurture.
Even though our personal interests are considered, compassion encourages us to transcend them when needed. When we lose touch with the compassionate, natural part of us, we tend to become abusive to others and the environment. Compassion encourages self confidence, self assuredness, and a willingness to educate rather than the adversarial convincing. Compassion lacks a judgmental attitude. It is the passion, the fire that feeds inspiration. It facilitates a sense of humor about ourselves, our lives and some of the absurd situations we get involved in, the ability to laugh with and not at, ourselves. Compassion also encourages us to create, what I call, compassionate distance. This is the ability to feel compassion and yet, create the boundaries and understanding that enables us to not get caught up in others chaos and drama or to take responsibility for their actions.
Gregg Braden, a former computer systems designer and computer geologist, states that heart energy is 100 times stronger electrically and 5,000 times stronger magnetically than brain energy (15). Feelings of compassion set into motion changes in the environment and the world around us. Compassions energetic vibration dissolves unnecessary boundaries, cleanses the toxicity that interferes with cooperation, and encourages harmony. It also helps us eliminate our own tendencies to interfere with and control the process.
An interesting example of this is a strategy I used when I was teaching organizational behavior at Johnson and Wales University in Rhode Island. On the first day of class I would write on the board for the students to write down their impression of the instructor, me. I would sit at the desk, reading a book, expressionless. Every other student was sent compassion as they entered the room, all the while maintaining my expressionless position. Later in the semester, when we discussed interpersonal relations, I had the students take out and share the notes they made about their first impression of me. There was much laughter. Some of the comments made by those who were sent compassion were warm, caring, smiled at them, said hello, and inviting. The other students commented on how hard, cold, and indifferent I looked. Some even said I glared at them. I used this exercise as a way to demonstrate the valuable role of compassion in the work environment and work politics.
Compassion is a way to develop practices that promote the common good and still preserve individual freedom. Compassion helps us discover the best in ourselves and others. It also helps us to see beyond the moment to the possible consequences and the actions we need to take to minimize the negative consequences. As Krieger again state during a workshop, "compassion is a mindful activation of our inner/higher self, it increases our intuitive knowing, and gives us an opportunity to take an evolutionary leap beyond our heritages."
Compassion is pure giving. It taps our innate goodness. The ego is not involved. Even though it's nice to be remembered for what we do and to be recognized, in the larger picture, in the scheme of things, recognition is not relevant and not a priority. I remember a major league pitcher, while I was growing up, who said he'd remind himself when he was in a tight spot, "In the year 2000 will anyone remember if I pitched a ball or a strike?" Unfortunately, those of us Brooklyn Dodger fans remember what Ralph Branca pitched when we lost the World Series to the Yankees.
When we give from the heart there are no expectations, no hidden agendas, no score card and no markers to call in. It helps us to recognize when unfair and discriminatory treatment is occurring and encourages us to action to correct it. And when we model the behavior of compassion we have several additional impacts. Bandura, a social learning theorist, in Social Learning Theory, claims that observational learning, learning by watching is more powerful than learning by reinforcement and that repeated modeling reinforces the behavior(1). We are also inviting others to be in their compassionate state of being. We hold up a mirror to ourselves and others whether we come from a self-serving place or one of compassion. If being compassionate hurts you and your health, then it has gone beyond compassion and the ego, being self serving, is probably involved. For example, when I was in a private counseling practice I worked with many people in this position. They were there for everyone in their lives, giving and caring for, to the point where they were "sacrificing" their lives. They were tired, at times had difficulty focusing, became ill, etc. For some it was to the point of martyrdom. As they explored the dynamics, they realized that there were underlying motives. It may have been wanting to be needed, recognized, appreciated, feelings that they didn't deserve to do for themselves or to have others do for them, feeling totally responsible for someone, etc. When they understood the behaviors and the motivation , they were able to continue being there for others and were able to set the boundaries that were helpful for all involved.
The focus for change and healing lies in the heart. It is in harmony with our own and the Universes' nature, which is love. We do not need to learn how to be in a place of compassion or how to send compassion to others or a situation. We already know how and do this during times of tragedies and disasters, and joyful times. What we need to learn is how to focus on compassion more frequently and to open up to who we really are. It is a personal choice. And the more we call upon our innate nature the more it becomes a consistent part of our being.
CONSCIOUSNESS
The dictionary states that consciousness is being aware, aware of the totality of one's thoughts, feelings, and impressions, knowing what one is doing and why (42). We also talk about the unconscious, not being aware and yet being influenced by it, mindless, not realized or known or intended. Sometimes people use the concept of UNCONSCIOUS to justify their behavior and not take responsibility for their actions. I prefer to view consciousness as having many levels, including a cellular consciousness. Some levels are more available than others and yet are there for us to bring into our full awareness, explore, and use for our growth and transformation. Consciousness is not only our individual responsibility, it's the responsibility of our political systems and those in it to bring their actions and models into greater awareness, greater transparency. A nurse colleague and friend, Katherine Rosa PhD, RN, stated at a Therapeutic Touch meeting that people are able to move through the development of consciousness within a supportive environment rather than in the world of today. We need to develop that supportive environment if we want to create changes that encourage peace and harmony. James O'Dea states that "consciousness can be limited and divisive or can lead to a new humanity, the capacity to heal, to forgive, to deepen the bonds of friendship and love and to become an integrated whole/oneness" (25). In The Political Mind, Lakoff states, "a new consciousness demands that we cultivate empathy, self-reflection, a sense of connectedness and a full life based on them" (17).
We know when we're fully conscious by our mood, intuition, and how we feel in synchronicity, in harmony with ourselves and the world around us. By being in the present moment, we become more fully aware and more conscious. We become aware of a moral and spiritual knowing. The highest consciousness is not one of possession, it's one of being. Compassion helps us connect the various levels of consciousness and creates a state of radical knowing.
SPIRITUAL DIMENSION
For me the spiritual dimension not only includes our relationship with and within the universe, it's also our sense of purpose, direction and why we believe we are here. It's our feelings of connectedness with ourselves, with others and all of life. There are many ways people express their spirituality, organized religion being one. Regardless of how we choose to live as spiritual beings, it doesn't preclude free will.
I have found the following series of questions, when answered, can facilitate an understanding of one's spirituality and spiritual path:
• What memories do you want to create? Some people may not care if they're remembered. The reality is that we are remembered, so therefore, what would you like to be remembered for?
• What would you like your epitaph to say? This is the statement you would like your life to make. Mine is: "Here lay Sylvia under the only rock she could not turn over."
• If you had 24 hours to live, how would you spend it? This helps us to understand some of our priorities and/or our regrets, what we wished we did, and what's important to us.
• If you can dream any dream, no restrictions, what would be your dream for yourself, those who share your heart space, the country you live in, and the planet? Once you answer this, look for the themes and how, or if, you have integrated this into your life.
• After physical death, how do you believe you are carried on? This sense of immortality helps us to understand where we put our energy, what we emphasize in our lives.
• Do your beliefs and how you define yourself encourage or interfere with your being in touch with your spirituality? This helps to determine areas in our lives that need to be addressed or reinforced.
When we have a clear sense of our spiritual path, our sense of purpose, and are true to it, our possibilities are limitless. We understand that when one door closes, another opens. We understand that the opportunities are not better or worse, they are different. We understand that we are more comfortable with the concept of surrender as not giving up but rather a turning over from the physical plane to the spiritual plane while still doing what's in our control on the physical plane. We understand that the act of surrender is letting go of our attachment to the outcome. It is true that we may not get what we want and we understand that we are starting a process of change and of transformation. At a conference, a participant stated that Percy Bysshe Shelly reminds us that, "Nothing in the world is single, all things by law divine in one spirit meet and mingle".
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Excerpted from a guide for Compassion in Political Powerby SYLVIA WEBER Copyright © 2012 by Sylvia Weber. Excerpted by permission of BALBOA PRESS. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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