#1 New Release in Family & Quotations ─ Learn To Live With Happiness Every DayLift yourself out of the daily struggles and heartbreaks life deals you. Wading through the trials we face on a day-to-day basis can be exhausting. When we’re hit with painful experiences that bring us to our knees, finding joy may seem to be too big a task for us to handle. Xandria Ooi, dubbed the “Happiness Guru,” meets readers in those dark and trying places and equips them with the courage to navigate them. Renew the meaning of happiness. Popular phrases like “think positive” and “look for the silver lining” often fall flat on our ears because we’ve heard them so many times. When life gets challenging, suddenly it’s not so simple. Ooi shows us that happiness is more than a feeling by delving into complex philosophies and turning them into relatable wisdom. Find peace and joy within yourself, others, and your life. Joining the ranks of Brené Brown and Gretchen Rubin, Ooi speaks honestly and empathetically to readers searching for answers. Creator of a 30-day happiness program and over 500 motivational videos online, Ooi has traveled far and wide to share her inspiring stories and moving wisdom. Armed with her advice, readers will find practical ways to bring more happiness to every aspect of their lives. Readers of Be Happy, Always will: Find illuminating answers to questions on happiness and unhappiness Take an emotionally resilient and wise approach to life and access happiness within Understand how to cultivate positive relationships even with difficult people Find ways to live each day with joy, hope and gratitude despite challenges If you’ve looked for answers in other books such as Outer Order, Inner Calm; The Four Tendencies; 52 Lists for Happiness; The Happiness Project; and Better than Before; you’ll find more of what you’re looking for in Xandria Ooi’s Be Happy, Always: Simple Practices For Overcoming Life’s Challenges and Living Each Day With Joy.
My husband, Yuri, likes to say that life is either a celebration or a lesson. I think that this is one of the best philosophies, because then we can truly see life as the gift that it is.
Yuri and I have been married since 2010, and we used to argue so much in those first few years. At the time, we didn’t know that it was possible to disagree without arguing. We knew that it was common for couples to argue, so we honestly thought that having arguments in a relationship was normal, even healthy.
In a way, we weren’t unhappy with each other. We were unhappy with the problems; the frustrations we felt toward each other indicated that we must have felt that the other person was the source of the problems. There were differences that created friction every time we tried to talk about issues that arose.
It was only when Yuri and I started to see our disagreements as opportunities to learn more about each other that the way we communicated changed. We stopped fighting when we viewed the differences not as problems, but as welcome opportunities to learn more about each other.
Not fighting doesn’t mean we have no problems in our relationship. It means that we can actually talk about what is wrong without accusing the other person of being at fault.
When things are going well in our relationship, it is a celebration. When things aren’t going well in our relationship, it is a lesson. Either way, we win. This small but subtle shift in perspective gave our relationship a solid foundation on which to base our work—because we stopped feeling frustrated when we were unhappy, and we started to instead see our disagreements as a way to help us learn more about ourselves and about each other.
This perspective applies to everything in life.
We all know that life is never perfect. To be born into this world, to be alive, is to experience challenges and difficulties. We know this, yet we often despair when life isn’t going well.
We know that people are not perfect, that to be human is to err. Yet when people behave badly and show us their imperfections, we can get really upset.
When we really think about it, we start to wonder what it is that causes us so much unhappiness. Is it people? Is it the circumstances? Or is it our reluctance to accept the reality of what being alive means?
If we can accept that life is either a celebration or a lesson, then our perspective toward our personal challenges and difficulties will shift. This doesn’t mean that we will never feel sad or upset, it means that when we do have problems, we are able to see them as opportunities to learn something valuable about ourselves.
When I was producing and hosting on a radio station, I would often come home really upset from the challenges that I was facing with the people at work. One day, Yuri said to me, “Didn’t you say that one of your goals in life is to grow as person? Well, the universe must have heard you, because it has given you this challenge to learn from and grow.”
That stopped all my moaning, complaining, and feelings of self-pity. It got me thinking. He was right—if life does not present us with challenges, how are we to grow as people? If we are never tested, how will we know the level of our strength?
My challenges with my co-workers didn’t disappear overnight, but my perspective on those challenges completely changed. My problems were not problems anymore, they turned into welcome challenges. The situation had not changed, yet my feelings toward the situation had shifted, which made such a difference in my happiness.
