The Hidden Face of Laura is a true story that tells about the life of a woman who suffered abuse and rejection throughout her life. She became quiet and withdrawn, and even attempted suicide. She married at the age of eighteen; with the hopes of a better life only to find out, she had married an alcoholic. Throughout her marriage, she was battered and bruised and with no one to turn too, she was completely alone. She had to overcome many obstacles in order to raise her children. Through it all, Laura never asked anyone for help; however, the love she had for her children gave her the courage she needed to break the chains of fear. Laura finally stepped forth and took control of her life and just when she began to see a ray of sun, she realizes she has major health problems. With Laura facing the most trying time of her life, her husband ask for a divorce. He leaves her with no way to provide for her and the children. The Hidden Face of Laura is truly a heart-warming story of a woman's struggle to survive.
The Hidden Face of Laura
By Elaine MimsAuthorHouse
Copyright © 2009 Elaine Mims
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4490-3306-4Chapter One
My name is Laura Mae Miller. I was born in Birmingham, Alabama but I lived in a little town called Montevallo. My momma and daddy had not planned to have another child when momma got pregnant with me. She was forty and going through the change of life. The last thing she needed was another baby, considering she already had a thirteen-year-old daughter and two sons that were nine and five. My father and mother had two babies to die during childbirth and the doctor had told my mother she could die trying to deliver another one.
The pregnancy was complicated and bothersome for my mother. She was unable to do any chores around the house and she was on bed rest during the last three months of her pregnancy. It was a long hard labor and the doctor finally had to perform a cesarean to get me out. In 1953, a cesarean (c-section) was not as common as they are today. Momma was small and frail and losing all that blood did not help matters but everything turned out o.k. The doctor made daddy promise to make me his last child or loose momma. They did not have a loving marriage but he certainly did not want to lose her so he promised, and a week later, he took us home.
Daddy worked in the coalmines until he got a job with the railroad. The job he had back then, with the railroad, was putting down cross ties and driving spikes, which machines now do. It was extra hard for my daddy to hold a job because he would be working and just fall out with a seizure. He had a disorder known as epilepsy, which caused him to have grand-mal seizures three or four times a day. They caused him to fall out and shake violently. Sometimes he would have a seizure at the kitchen table and his plate would go flying across the room. I never got used to it. It always frightened me because I thought he was dying and as a child, I would beg God to keep him alive. When he did not fall in the floor, my momma would hold him in the chair until the seizure was over and he came too. Whenever he had a seizure, he would pass out and when it was over, he could not remember anything that happened. The seizures left him disoriented and very weak and they prevented him from doing many things. The doctors did not know how to treat him or at least they never gave him pills to take.
Due to his health, daddy was unable to drive and the jobs he had to accept would have been hard on any man, especially one that already had a medical problem. I watched my daddy load a paper wood truck by hand, all by himself. I never saw another man do that. If they did not have a loader to do the work for them, they at least got other laborers to help. One spring, he dug a field up to plant a crop of corn and peas with only a hoe and a homemade garden plow that he had to push. He never complained, but he worked his health right into the ground.
My mother was nothing like my father. I do not know how she was before I came along but as far back as I can remember, she never cooked, cleaned, or did any work around the house but she would cook a cake or two at Christmas time. I remember one Christmas while she was cooking, I got behind the old wood stove and sat on the pile of wood so I could smell the aroma coming from the cake in the oven. Momma did not like anyone in the kitchen while she cooked and that is why I would get behind the stove. As long as I was sitting on that woodpile, she could not say I was in her way and make me get out of the kitchen.
I loved my mother very much but I do not ever remember her being a real mom to me. I do not remember ever getting a hug or an "I love you", or ever being tucked into bed at night. She just did not act like my momma. She never did. I know she loved me or I think she did. She was forty when I was born. Maybe she was just tired of children since she really did not plan to have me.
My sister was thirteen years old when I was born and she said momma and daddy had owned a little store and my momma did not have time to take care of me. My sister said, she had to stay home, change my diapers, and do the things my mom was supposed to do. She informed me that she took care of me as a baby, not my mom.
My sister's name was Judy Faye. She had long red hair and was very pretty. I never had a close relationship with her, or my mom. Maybe our age difference prevented us from having a relationship, or maybe the fact that she had to take care of me when I was a baby. I do know she was very close to my older brother Charles. My favorite has always been my younger brother, Eddie. He was and still is my hero. He is 5 years older than I am but throughout my life, he tried with all his might to keep me safe and protect me from all the evils that life had to offer. Although I am much younger than Eddie, I tried to be there for him too.
Eddie was always a major part of my life and growing up I felt like he was the only friend I had in the world. When he was born, something went wrong. I am not quite sure what happened but it left him almost blind. He began wearing glasses when he was 2 years old. The lenses were so thick they looked like something from a star trek movie but he could not see a thing without them. I once heard momma and daddy talking about it. I overheard them say when he was born he had a decrease in oxygen and it somehow affected his eyes. I know my life would not have been the same without Eddie.
We did everything together including our chores, and when we had free time, we played together. Eddie had a small frame build like my momma. He always looked sickly but I do not remember him ever going to the doctor. Eddie was a quiet, well-mannered child who never talked back or stirred up trouble. He had a soft spirit and seemed to love everyone.
Charles, my older brother was just the opposite. He was always bossing us around and blackmailing us into doing his chores. Sometimes when he became bored, he would play with Eddie and me but usually he found something else to do. I think he felt like we were too young for him to hang around but we did not care. We did not like the games he wanted us to play anyway. Eddie and I were used to playing alone although we were a sight to behold with me running around barefoot and dirty and Eddie in his short pants with his shirt buttoned in the wrong holes.
We never realized how tough our life was but looking back, I remember Eddie, and me running through a broom sage field down a little trail behind the old shack that we lived in. I call it a shack because that is exactly what it was. The roof leaked so badly, momma had to put pots and pans in the floor whenever it rained. She covered the windows with cardboard because the windowpanes were broken or had fallen out from age and there were cracks in the walls and ceiling so big you could see light from the outside. I did not mind the old house because I thought everyone lived the way we did.
The one thing I did hate was in the winter, I was always cold. We only had one fireplace and if you did not stand right in front of it, you did not feel any of its warmth. The only time I could get warm was at night when we all went to bed. The one thing we had lots of was quilts. My mom kept every old rag she could get her hands on and used them to make quilts. Each bed had four or five on them. They were so heavy you could hardly move or change positions, but at least when you got under all that cover, you stayed warm.
Every couple of years we moved to a different place. We called this place Limblooms. We named every place we moved to after the property owner, and their name was Limbloom.
At that time, I was only three years old and even though I do not remember a whole lot from that age, I do remember one day my brothers and I were outside playing with some glass bottles. We filled them with water and buried them in a hole in the ground. We pretended it was a whiskey still and we were selling whiskey to people. My family did not drink but my sister's boyfriend and his friends and family did. We had overheard conversations about them making and selling moonshine and since we had no toys to play with, making a whiskey still seemed like a fun thing to play. We had just finished filling all the bottles with water and separating them for our pretend buyers when my sister open the back door and saw what we were doing. She went and told momma about our pretend still, then momma came out the door with a switch in her hand. We quickly made our apologies and swore we would never play that game again.
Back then, if we disobeyed our parents we got a licking with a switch or belt. My momma called it a switch but I called it a tree limb. They did not have to tell us a second time to get rid of the bottles. We knew Judy Faye would see to it. It seemed like she enjoyed getting us in trouble. If we were not doing chores or waiting on her, we got in trouble and most of the things she told momma were not always true. Eddie and I usually played alone. Since Charles thought he was too old to play with us, he hung around Judy Faye.
One day Eddie and I were playing outside and I got very dirty. I remember momma and daddy had to go to town and I do not know where Judy Faye was. From what I recall, they left Charles, Eddie, and me at home. They told Charles to give me a bath because I had mud and dirt all over me from playing. We did not have a bathtub or any indoor plumbing. We had to draw water from a well and we took our baths in a big washtub momma used to wash clothes. After momma and daddy left for town, Charles drew water from the well and filled the washtub with cold water for my bath. It was summer time and the cold water was not too bad but it did take a few minutes to get use too. I was only three, but I will never forget the next thing that happened. It was the beginning of a nightmare, which would haunt me the rest of my life. Charles was around twelve at the time, just old enough to be curious about girls. When he reached into the water to get the washcloth, he began to touch my legs and my bottom and then he went to my privates and fondled me. I did not understand what he was doing but I knew I did not like it and I wanted him to stop although all I could do was cry. He paid no attention to my crying. He used his hands on me as if he was checking out a new toy and after that day every time he could get me alone it was the same thing all over again.
The more he tormented me the more withdrawn I became. I never told momma or daddy anything. If I had a stomachache or felt sick, I went off by myself and tried to stay away from everyone until I felt better. I never asked for anything. I only wanted everyone to leave me alone. Eddie was my only friend and I wanted nothing to do with anyone else, but Charles seemed to have control over everything I did.
I was too young to know anything about sex but I knew more than most teenagers, only I thought it was a sick and dirty thing that people used to hurt other people. Charles used every opportunity he could to get me alone. When a thunderstorm went over, he would grab me, throw me on a bed, and pull the covers up so no one could see. He made me use my hands on him while he fondled me. He told momma and daddy we were hiding under the cover so we could not see the lightning from the storm.
They never questioned him and I was afraid to tell. He would always remind me that he was older than I was and I would be the one to get a whipping. He said he was too old for a whipping and I believed him, so I had no idea how to make him stop. I was afraid if I told momma or daddy what he was doing to me they would say it was my fault, so I had to do what he said, no matter how much I hated it. He made me sick and disgusted. I tried to hide from him but that never worked. He always found me.
No little girl should have to experience the gruesome things my brother did to me, but I had to put up with him my whole childhood. It became a way of life for me and finally the horrid dread I had every time he came near me left and I actually felt nothing. I buried my feelings deep within myself and closed the door and with each passing day, I became more withdrawn.
Chapter Two
Just before I turned four, we moved from Limblooms to Mrs. Cummings' place. Mrs. Cummings was a middle-aged woman who lived just up the road from us, alone with her husband. Her children had all moved out to get on with their lives. They were very nice people and my momma and daddy became friends with them right away. Every Wednesday night we walked to their house to watch the "FBI" on their television with them. It was an old black and white TV but we had never seen one before and it was wonderful.
The old house we rented from them was no better than the one we left. It was old with no paint and it leaked when it rained but the place remains familiar in my mind. There was a little country store about three miles up the road and we frequently walked to that store just to get out of the house. I really loved those walks. Since we never left the house, other than watching the FBI on Wednesday nights at the Cummings' house, it was a treat for Eddie and me. I do not remember momma and daddy ever buying anything from that store but I did not care because those walks gave Eddie and me something to look forward too.
I recall one day while we were walking to the store, a car came over the hill. Momma yelled for me to get out of the road but I ran from one side of the road to the other. I did not know which side I was supposed to go too. Momma kept yelling at me but she confused me even more and I was too far ahead for her to help so the driver of the car slowed down and very carefully went around me.
Judy Faye never took those walks with us. By this time, she was seventeen and running wild with her boyfriend, Kurt Levins. She became pregnant but she and Kurt did not marry until after the baby was born. She had a little girl and named her Norma. They finally decided to get married, however Judy Faye would not move out with him. She continued to live with momma and daddy but Kurt left and came back every weekend. Judy Faye eventually had seven children from his weekend visits. Kurt was always drunk. His whole family drank too much and I think that was the reason Judy Faye would not move out with him, she was afraid too.
One weekend while Kurt was there and we were visiting Mrs. Cummings, he persuaded my daddy to drink some of his moonshine. When we got home, my daddy became very angry. He began yelling and throwing things across the room. I hid under a table but before I knew what was happening, momma snatched me up and yanked me out the door. My momma took us to Mrs. Cummings' house and they made pallets for us to sleep on while she called the police on my daddy. By the time the police got there he had sobered up. They only had a few words with him and left. When we walked in the door the next morning, my daddy was sitting in front of the old wood stove with a cup of coffee in his hands. He looked very hurt and ashamed and after that day, I never saw my daddy take another drink.
He was a good man and he tried to provide a good life for us but his health would not let him. He stayed depressed a lot because we were always struggling and he could not do anything about it.
My momma did not help matters any because she was always complaining about something. She put my daddy down and fussed at him almost every day. I remember my daddy sitting outside on a chop block (that is what we used to cut stove wood and firewood on). He would sit on that old stump with his head in his hands and cry when he thought no one was around, but Eddie and I always knew. Momma let him know how much she loved her first husband Bud, and how she made a mistake by marrying him. She never got over Bud, however from conversations I overheard; he was just another no good drunk.
He would go out with other women and leave her at home with his family. They had a baby girl and called her Elaine, but she became sick when she was only six months old and died. After she died, Bud became worse. He stayed drunk and went with any and every woman that would have him. My momma wanted to hurt him the way he hurt her, so she started going out too. Her in-laws got mad and threw her out. Momma and Bud divorced and she had nowhere to go.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from The Hidden Face of Lauraby Elaine Mims Copyright © 2009 by Elaine Mims. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
