CHAPTER 1
Build Trust
Love God (Tom)
There was a moment when you knew that you loved God. We are not speaking of loving the concept of God, which is where we often start in the Christian life. Parents, or the church where you grew up, may have shared the concept of God with you. Or it could have been a friend or a group you joined in college. For some time you likely drifted behind them, pulled along by their faith and experience. But there came a moment when you discovered that you loved God independent of anyone else's point of view and that brought something alive in you. Your love of God awakened a new way of seeing yourself, other people, and the world. You began to notice people whom others did not notice, and found yourself speaking to them. You began to be more careful about the words you said to others. It is possible that you started to see places where the world simply gets it wrong—the wrong values, the wrong way of treating people, and the harmful consequences of injustice to the lives of real people. And you started to care about all this in a way that gave you a new sense of purpose on some days and a new sense of weariness on others. Loving God awakens a sense of wonder in us as we see the imprint of the creator in the beauty and intricacy of the world and the people around us. That changes how we lead.
The Christian life is blessed by the incarnation, the person of God found in the person of Jesus Christ. This is why the Christian faith has a dimension that is personal. Knowing Jesus, and learning to admire and respect Jesus, changes how we think and act. Over time a deepening relationship with Christ impacts the character of the leader and also provides the focal points where your leadership gift is most clearly directed and passionately used. Jesus spoke about the importance of this relationship. He told his disciples that as God loved him, so he loved them and left them with the admonition to "abide in my love" (John 15:9).
Loving God is essential to leaders because the practice of leadership is often a solitary experience. "It's lonely at the top" is not an expression of importance. It speaks more to the nature of leadership. No matter what size the congregation you lead, there are some decisions about the present and the future that are uniquely attributed to those in leadership. When leaders work with those who follow to make changes or pursue new visions, they have to be willing to stand in front. One does not picture Moses telling the children of Israel, "You all go ahead. I'll catch up shortly." After the people celebrate crossing the Red Sea, after they place their tambourines back in their cases, Moses has to take the first steps toward the Promised Land. He and Miriam and Aaron and other recognized leaders had to step up if others were to follow.
One consequence of putting yourself forward to lead is that you have a lot of time by yourself to consider if you are headed in the right direction and what will happen to all those people behind you if it all goes wrong. It is lonely at the top, but not due to status or standing. It is lonely because that is the nature of the leader's office. While most leadership is shared with others, there is a piece of responsibility that falls uniquely to the man or woman who is ultimately accountable.
This is why being in a relationship with Christ is so powerful. Abiding in the love of Christ means that we can trust that our omnipresent God is with us and has the ability either to encourage our steps or correct our course. Because leaders are fallible, it befits us to stay in love with God. Leadership can be a consuming activity that engages the ego and sense of self-worth of those who carry the greatest sense of responsibility. What began as a God- honoring vision to serve Christ can easily degrade into activities aimed at erecting a personal monument to our efforts. Especially when critics emerge who do not affirm the plans and decisions we as leaders are carrying out, it is easy to become defensive and take everything so personally that we think far more about our reputation than serving the will of Christ.
This is why the practices that are common to those who love God are so important. Prayer, journaling, rest, solitude, worship, sharing Christian conversation, and the sacrament of Holy Communion, among other means of grace, enable us to come home to God. When we rest in our fellowship with God's Spirit, we no longer find it necessary to protect ourselves with defensive behaviors or build our self-worth through unguarded ambition.
There is nothing more important in the lives of Christian leaders than their love of God, practiced in tangible ways that keep the relationship alive over time. When God's presence is as real as our work, then God will be present in our work and will bless our gifts of leadership.
Remember Leadership Is Always about a Group
There are many, many things about leadership that we do not know. However, there are a few truths about which we can be sure. One of the most important truths is that leadership is always about a group, not the leader. The group may be a sports team or a congregation, a youth group or a nation. The group will have a leader, but it is the group itself to which we must give attention.
That is one reason why Scott Cormode's definition of pastoral leadership is so helpful: "helping God's people take the next faithful step." Leadership is not simply doing your job well, though it is better to do it well than poorly. But the performance of distinct functions does not in any way mean that the group you are leading is taking its next faithful step.
One popular model of leadership today puts the leader at the center of everything. In this view, the vision for the group comes from God to the leader, who then "casts the vision" and solicits others in its implementation. Vision is a gift of God that depends on its discovery by the leader.
A more appropriate view is to see the group's vision as a gift from God, given to the community. It may be first named by a leader or leaders. But the distinction is critical. This view assumes that God's wisdom is found throughout the community and not lodged in any one person. It also takes into account the fact that a leader often has access to more information, spends more time thinking about the visioning task, and has more opportunities than others to test out ideas in the group. Good leaders listen well, and they often can discern—rather than simply receive—God's vision.
Ronald Heifetz, who teaches public leadership at the Kennedy School at Harvard, recently said in a National Public Radio interview, "The dominant view of leadership is that the leader has the vision and the rest is a sales problem." Heifetz continued, "I think that notion of leadership is bankrupt."
The inordinate focus on the leader, more so than on the group, has not always been the case. In the early development of the concept of a "professional," one of the key characteristics was that the professional is accountable to the public good. To be a professional meant to serve others rather than to be a route to personal advancement or fulfillment. The professional succeeded only to the extent that the society succeeded.
But in the church there is another step needed. While the leader's role has meaning only in relationship with the people served, so the church's leadership has no meaning apart from the wider community it serves.
One of the hallmarks of emerging views of leadership, which draw from a range of cultural traditions, is a renewed linking of leadership to the community. While he was president of Morehouse College, Robert M. Franklin asked what it might mean to have "Village Accreditation of Schools and Colleges." One could just as easily ask what kind of report card our churches might receive from their surrounding communities.
Here are questions Franklin suggested might be used for such an "accreditation" (with "school" changed to "church"):
• What does the village think of the performance and value of the church?
• What has the church done in the past year to enhance the community?
• What kind of neighbor is the church?
• What could the church do to become a better citizen in its neighborhood?
These are good questions for an institution that bears the name of one who asked about water for the thirsty, food for the hungry, clothes for the naked, and release for the captives. What if our communities came to understand that our churches do indeed seek the abundant life for all as God's wish for them?
Attend to People in Their Times of Need
If you are a leader, at some point you have probably been accused of lacking one of the following qualities: compassion, empathy, concern, or the ability to listen to others in their times of need. You may have a nagging suspicion this is true. If you have ever found yourself looking at the clock behind someone who is sharing deep sadness about the death of a great-aunt or telling about a dear son having a hard time in school and wondering if you are going to meet some deadline, it may be time to think about it.
In some places this is not perceived to be a problem. No one ever expects a wartime general to spend time asking soldiers if they are missing home. Business leaders will rarely spend time comforting workers who are negatively affected by decisions necessary for the business to survive. In both cases, these leaders may care deeply about the people with whom they serve, but direct care and compassion are not seen as necessary components of their job descriptions.
But for church leaders, this simply will not do. The problem is that the leadership gift often gives people a natural sweet spot when it comes to consideration of the big picture of vision along with the passion and ambition to achieve goals. Leaders are innately impatient to accomplish things and have a lens of personal accountability through which they examine and evaluate others. These are the exact virtues that may make caring for others difficult.
You have to think about this because you are not just a leader. You are a Christian leader. That means you are called not just "to get stuff done" but also to embody the character of Christ as you do so. That is no small task. The good news is that the qualities we so easily see in Jesus's life are now extolled in writing about leadership. It turns out that humility, compassion, empathy, and gratitude are all part of what people are looking for in great leaders.
A key to demonstrating these qualities is to care for people in their times of need. When a key donor's son needs to enter rehab, stop talking about the latest initiative and your appreciation for their financial support. Listen to what is happening, and then find ways to help. Use your network to bless them. Call them and follow up. Talk of nothing other than how their son is doing, whether progress is being made, and how it is affecting them and their family. When a staff member gets a diagnosis of cancer, find out the treatment schedule and find ways to make their burdens lighter. Visit and talk about nothing but their concerns, their health, and their experience. Speak of work only when you know it would help them to know that others are holding down the fort while they are healing. And pray. Pray with people. Pray when you are not with them because prayer both blesses the recipient and also connects us in a more personal way with those for whom we pray. If you pray for people, you are far more likely to slow down and be with them even when you are trying to keep all the plates spinning. You will keep the person in mind and be more likely to follow up when God prompts you to send the occasional note or text or make a phone call.
If you are a pastor, also make sure you and others notice and care for people who are not key leaders. When we care for people in their time of need who have no place of influence in the congregation, we show the genuineness of our love and compassion. That is when you know Christ is transforming not only your church but also you as well. The pastor does not do all the caring, of course. Many members and staff contribute to pastoral care, but a pastor staying regularly and actively involved in the joys and struggles of a cross section of the congregation can be transformative for both pastor and congregation.
There are two good reasons you should help people in their time of need. The first is that one day you and I will meet Jesus in person, and if he thinks we just saw people as assets to be deployed instead of people to be loved, it will be uncomfortable to say the least. It is easy for leaders to begin to see people as resources rather than as children of God. This is not because you are a terrible person but because you are often pulled by the responsibilities you carry as a leader to help your church or organization take the next faithful step forward.
Attending to people in their time of need will temper this instinct. It will slow you down. It will help you find the joy Christ said would always be present when we care for others. Tom's wife, when he begins to talk about the stress of work or the demands of leadership during a particular season, has sometimes offered, "You need to go visit our members in the nursing home, I think." Her encouragement is that a helpful leadership reset is often found in the concern we show for others who may have little to offer in return.
The second reason that you want to do this is that everyone needs to know they are part of a community where all are important and mutually care for each other. Leaders should never engage in insincere acts of compassion designed to impress the people around them. However, when we model the character of Christ, when we are obedient to Christ's calling to love our neighbor as ourselves, when we visit the sick and care for the widow and orphan in their distress, it gives people who are a part of the church a sense of pride and comfort. In some ways, what the leader does for one, he or she does for all.
Christian leaders have an unusual level of connection to the needs of others. It is expected that we will show up in hospital rooms in times of sickness, be on front doorsteps at times of loss, and still help clean up after the crowd has departed the funeral reception. We live in community with one another that includes not only what happens at the time of crisis but also the months and years of conversation that follow it. The apostle Paul stated simply, "Be devoted to one another in love" (Romans 12:10a NIV). That may never make it into the leadership journals for some professions, but it is crucial for those who serve the church.
Presume Grace
The gospel of Jesus Christ is a proclamation of grace. We may preach grace, but we may often function more out of judgment. As leaders, we can give to our congregations the impression that we believe we care more about the poor than they do or care more about the community, diversity, sharing the gospel, and a host of other things. That may even be true—we may actually care more. But why, in the absence of knowing the heart of everyone, would we presume the worst instead of the best? Why would our default position be to convey judgment rather than to communicate grace?
Few pastors have escaped the classic dilemma of a property committee that sets up so many restrictions on the property's use that ministry can barely take place. In frustration, it is easy to say to them, "I know you care about the bricks and mortar, but I care about people and ministry." Not good. Why would we make such an assumption? Could we not as easily assume that they care as much as we do about the people for whom those buildings were built? Imagine this alternative.
I know that not one of you would give time to this committee if it were about bricks and mortar. The only reason you devote yourself to this task is so that when children, youth, or adults need a place for ministry, there will always be safe, well-kept, and accessible facilities for them. The whole church owes you a debt of gratitude. I'm sure you would want to know that some of our ministry leaders are having trouble making full use of our buildings. Could you name someone who might meet with them and find out how their needs and your concerns can both be addressed?
In addition to the theological imperative for a presumption of grace, there is also a practical need. Any time we appear to devalue commitments, people cling more closely to them. They are less open to change. So if the property committee thinks their concern to prevent damage to the buildings is devalued, they will not say, "Can you ever forgive us?" They are more likely to add more locks and restrictions.
