CHAPTER 1

Return of the Snodgrass Kids

"Unhand me you vile witch! How dare you put your wicked handson Blackbeard the Terrible! I'll 'ave you walkin the plank. I'll 'ave your headfor this!" The kicking screaming young boy struggled to get free from theolder woman's arm around his body.

The teacher struggled to carry the 10 year old out of her classroom tothe principal's office. She put him into a chair there and told him to stay.He glared at her and then smiled. "When his dragon gets back, I'm goingto see that he burns your hair off your head."

The teacher sighed and went into the principal's office. The principallooked up at the teacher, "Is it Michael again?"

"Thank goodness, summer is almost here." Mrs. Ballard shook herhead. "I don't know how much more I can take."

Principal Votroubek nodded. "I'll call his parents ... again."

Tiffany sat on the edge of her chair in front of the principal and theteacher, who was speaking. Unfortunately, it was HER turn to go to theprincipal's office and Rupert had some kind of meeting, or at least hebetter have had some kind of meeting!!! The principal was speaking to her."Sometimes, I think he really believes he is Blackbeard the pirate."

Tiffany defended her son. "OH no, sometimes, he's the white knight,slaying dragons."

"OH yes, he did threaten me that he had a dragon that would burnthe hair off of my head." Mrs. Ballard rolled her eyes.

Tiffany's eyes widened. "He ... said that?"

"Umm." The principal and the teacher both nodded.

"Oh dear ... oh dear." Tiffany realized she was repeating one of Mr.Pickle small quirks and in spite of the seriousness of the meeting, she feltlike giggling. "Well, I'll have a talk with him."

"Mrs. Snodgrass, it's almost the end of the school year. All we're askingis a little control for a few more weeks."

"Yes. I'll see what I can do."

She walked out and Michael frowned and hung his head. "ReallyMichael? Burn the hair off of her head? You'll have her head?"

Michael shrugged. "Well, she was ..."

Tiffany held up a finger quickly. "I don't want to hear it!" Suddenly,another teacher came in holding the hand of a little girl. "Annie?"

"Unhand me this instant! I am a princess and I will not be...."

"Annie!" Tiffany called out sharply and Annie stopped and looked ather mother. "You too?!"

Mrs. Phelps, an older teacher, looked at Tiffany and saw Michael andnodded. "Yes ... another Snodgrass kid!"

Tiffany groaned. "What am I going to do with the two of you?"

"She started it. I told the truth and she said I was maginin things. Iwasn't! I told her the truth."

"She says that there is a monster who sometimes sleeps under her bedand he snores and that Nancy Drew?"

"Our cat."

"Yes, well, your cat is still afraid that this monster eats cats, no matterhow many times Annie has tried to convince her that he won't."

"Ah, I see ... well, you see ... That's probably our fault." Tiffany calledthe teacher aside and whispered. "Before this, she was afraid of the dark andshe would wake us up every night afraid and we would have to search herbed and her closet ... and so, this ... we allowed her ... to uh."

"I think I get the picture. Still, allowing a little girl to believe that thereare monsters in the world might not be the best ..."

"Try going without sleep for a week when you have meetings andbriefings." Tiffany was suddenly a little irritated.

"Okay. I understand, but she has to understand the difference betweenthe truth and make-believe. Her assignment was to tell about somethingthat REALLY happened."

Principal Votroubek had stepped out of her office and had seen Annieas well. She sighed and rolled her eyes which irritated Tiffany. "I thinkit's time to retire." She moaned softly, but she was far too young to retire.Fortunately, Susie Snodgrass only had one more year here before she wentto High School. That only left.... She groaned again and shook herhead. Secretly, she hoped that Mrs. Snodgrass didn't decide to have anymore kids!

"I don't know what to say to either of you."

Susie sat in the front seat of the car on the way home and she noddedin an empathetic mature manner. "Well, after all, Mom. They are onlychildren."

Tiffany frowned as she glanced over at Susie and then quickly back atthe road to drive. "I suppose you're right." She sighed. "Listen ... thereare only a few more weeks left of school. Maybe you guys could do me afavor and just not tell any Mr. Pickles stories for that time."

"But you believe us don't you?" Annie asked seriously.

Tiffany looked at the girl in her rearview mirror and hesitated. It wasundeniable that she and her husband, Rupert Snodgrass had seen and heardmany strange things from last summer. And there was the brief sight ofthat dragon as Pickles had drove away last year. She didn't know what tobelieve. She chose the easy way. "Of course, but we don't have to announcethese things to the rest of the world. Do you understand?"

The kids in the back seat moaned. "Okaaayyyyyy...."

"Well, MY teacher, Mrs. Crawford, finds my stories quite amusing. Ofcourse she doesn't believe a word of them, but that's her problem." Susieannounced in quite a snobby voice.

"Still, I promised your teachers that there would be punishmentand ... well, I've decided that you're grounded." The kids groaned andthen she smiled. "For at least an hour to your rooms." She heard gigglingand she frowned. "Don't take this grounding lightly. Next time I guaranteeit will be more serious!" But she always said next time it would be worse.The problem was that grounding was often more of a punishment to herthan to the kids.

Actually, the grounding wasn't all that bad. They would have sat in thewindow of Susie's room anyway as they watched the new neighbors movein next door, on the opposite side as Mr. Pickle's house. They watchedhopefully for some sign of a toy box or children's beds, but they were vastlydisappointed. Then they saw the people moving in and it was an olderwoman, like a grandma type, and her husband, a grandpa type.

The woman was dark haired, slightly overweight, and had one of thosesmiles that never left her face, even during a time of crisis. She was theeternal optimist. Her husband was tall, thin, although he looked heavierthan he was because he walked slightly bent over, with his knees bentoutward some. It was obvious that he struggled with walking some. Hekind of shuffled along slowly behind the woman.

Nancy Drew sat with them watching intently out the window whensuddenly, they saw the big black Labrador running past the older man.They heard him call out to the dog. "Maggie, stay here." The man's bodymight have been older, but his voice was commanding. The dog obedientlyreturned to the old man's side. They heard Nancy Drew groan.

"Oh dear ... me, no! NOT a stupid dog! I'll bet anyone five dollars,if I had five dollars that is, that he loves to chase cats!"

They looked at Nancy Drew in surprise. She hadn't talked since Pickleshad left! Suddenly, it dawned on them! Nancy Drew had talked!!!!! Theygot up almost trampling one another as they rushed downstairs, unmindfulof their grounding!

Tiffany saw them running for the door. "Hey, I thought you weregroun ..."

"Mr. Pickles is back!" Susie called out.

Tiffany forgot about their grounding as well. She dropped her knife onthe kitchen counter and ran after the kids, and in her excitement, she beatthe kids over to the house. However, being the dignified business womanthat she was, she stopped herself on the porch. She managed to halt thekids in time and she turned to knock on the door, but as her hand almostreached the door, Michael ran past her and ran into the house!

She wasn't sure who was happier to see the doddling short man withthe wire-rimmed glasses and the pudgy little belly, the kids or herself?!!!She saw the kids run in and surround the poor man as he stood there inshock. "Oh dear ... oh dear me ... I must say, this is a fine greeting. Aperfectly pleasing greeting indeed!" He smiled at Tiffany. "And greetingsto you Mrs. Snodgrass."

She sighed as if the world was going to be alright again and smiledas if she had just seen a long lost lover. "Mr. Pickle ... you came back!We were ... uh. I mean, the kids were terribly worried that you mighthave decided to ... stay where ever you went or perhaps even have gonesomewhere else."

"I managed to handle my affairs over the winter and now I'm readyfor a nice easy summer."

"Easy? You're not referring to my kids?" Tiffany was suddenly worriedthat he wasn't going to watch the kids!! The panic on her face was evident!

"OH most certainly, a joy to look after."

Tiffany looked relieved. "Wheww ... for a minute there ... I mean ...well, you know." She blushed. "It's very good to see you again and I assureyou that Rupert will be most happy to see you as well!"

"Now, I understand that the children have some issues at school." Hesmiled at her.

She frowned at him. "How did you know.... You know what? Nevermind. Yes. They have been telling stories about.... last summer and I'mafraid that their teachers think that they're not exactly telling the truth."

"Oh dear ... oh dear ... That is dreadful. To think that these wonderfulchildren would lie? I must deal with this at once."

"YEAAAAHHHHH!" Annie cheered and danced around. "Now thatMrs. Phelps will learn a thing or two!"

Tiffany frowned. "I don't think that's what Mr. Pickles has in mind, butdo remember that they are your teachers!" The kids nodded and moanedsoftly in agreement.

Mr. Pickles sat in one of the student desks with the three kids sittingbehind him. He barely fit into the student desk with his pudgy bellypushing tightly against the student desk top. The teachers and PrincipalVotroubek sat opposite them. Introductions had already been made. Ashe told them his name, they all looked at each other and rolled their eyes."Oh YOU'RE Mr. Pickles. Well, I must say, we have certainly heard a lotabout you this year."

Pickles smiled slightly and nodded. "Oh dear, I hope it wasn't tooterrible."

"Oh, no, the children love you!" She iterated that the children lovedhim, but the teachers ... they weren't so sure.

"Well, shall we deal with the issues? It is my understanding that youfind the stories told by the children a little hard to believe."

Mrs. Crawford was not one to pull punches. She had her arms crossedand her head tilted in irritation as she frowned and tapped an irritated toe."Preposterous is more like it."

"Oh very good word." Mr. Pickles nodded. "Yes, preposterous. Icouldn't agree more." The kids looked at him puzzled as did the teachers."Sooooo, we are in agreement then that the stories are quite preposterousand plumb perplexing at best?"

"Uh ..." The teachers looked at each other I confusion. "You ... agreewith us?"

"Oh quite. After all, you are all teachers of some notoriety, and it wouldbe quite disrespectful to disregard your principals." They all looked at himshocked that he seemed to be on their side and yet, they still weren't sure."So, shall we agree to let this matter drop? I'm quite sure that the childrenwill not be spreading any more stories this year."

"Uh ... well, given that they agree to not tell any more of these ...uh stories, I suppose that we could ..."

"Could we get that in writing?" Mr. Pickles suggested.

Principal Votroubek glanced at the teachers and they were confused asto why he wanted this in writing as she was so they shrugged. She noddedand picked up a pen. She frowned as she started to write. She put the pendown and got another. She looked up in confusion. "Uh ..."

"Is there a problem?" Mr. Pickles looked at her with a concerned frown.The children looked at each other and giggled.

"Uh ... well, these black ink pens seem to be mixed up with the colorpens." She turned to Mrs. Ballard. "Uh, these are black ink pens from thesupply room aren't they?"

"Yes." Mrs. Ballard looked over the paper in surprise. "Oh!! Green andorange ink? I must have gotten the wrong pens."

"But we don't have any pens other than black ink." Mrs. Phelpsfrowned. "Here, let me go get some of mine. I used one this morning, soI'm certain my pen is black ink." She disappeared as they waited a moment.She came back and smiled as she handed the pen to the principal.

Votroubek started to write and then she looked up at Mrs. Phelps."Uh ... this isn't black ink either."

"What? That's preposterous...." Stopped as she realized what she hadsaid. She looked at the other teachers as they looked at Mr. Pickles.

"Oh dear ... oh dear me ... This is perplexing indeed. How did thishappen?" He turned to Michael. "You didn't switch their pens did you?"

Michael shrugged. "I don't even know how."

"I didn't do it." Annie nodded as her face showed her concern that shewould be blamed anyway.

"Well, it's quite obvious, that none of us had anything to do with this."Susie put on her usual air of authority, being the oldest of the children thatis. "I'm sure that this will work itself out." She was repeating her teacher'susual saying and she saw Mrs. Crawford's look at her. She blushed thenand smiled to indicate that she was just joking!

Votroubek smiled and nodded. "Ah, give me a pencil then." Shereached for a pencil and she started to write. She looked at the pencil andat the paper. She turned to Mrs. Ballard. "Your number 2 pencil seems tobe ... uh ... you know what? Never mind. I think that we have all cometo a very good agreement. The kids will simply refrain from telling anystories for the rest of the year." She turned to the teachers who looked ather in confusion. "The matter is settled."

"But ... but." Mrs. Crawford started.

"WE can discuss this in my office." The principal smiled at the teacher."Thank you for coming in Mr. Pickles."

"OH my pleasure ... my pleasure indeed. I do love to meet suchinspiring teachers." He stood up and smiled. "Come along children. Wehave much to do. I hear you have new neighbors."

Annie giggled. "And a dog ... Nancy Drew is NOT happy." She saidas they left the room, amidst the still confused faces of the teachers.

As Tiffany and Rupert sat in the seats of the PTA meeting, Mrs.Votroubek sat down next to them. Tiffany smiled at her. "I heard thatthings got settled with the children."

"One might say that. An odd thing happened however and I wantedto ask you about it." She was whispering as if she didn't want anyone tohear them. "After Mr. Pickles left the other day ... well since that day,none of our black ink pens or pencils have ... uh ... well, they don't giveout black ink or lead any more. They write in different colors. Each oneuh ... writes in a different color. Greens and different shades of green andoranges and browns and ... well ..."

"That's very odd. How do you account for that?" Rupert was holdingback a slight smirk and Tiffany gave him a slight jab in the ribs with herelbow. He quickly lost the smirk and looked more serious.

"I can't. That's the thing. There was no way anyone could have switchedthem as they are kept under lock and key. I mean, the wrong color inkcould maybe be a manufacturing mistake, but the lead pencils?" she lookedat the parents and saw their innocent look and she sat back and folder herarms as she nodded in understanding. "I see ... and this is what the kidshave been talking about."

Tiffany leaned closer to her. "I wouldn't bother trying to buy more pensthis school year. We still have grape soda in the garage from our faucet."

"But you do realize how impossibly preposterous this is ... andsounds?"

Tiffany and Rupert smiled at the principal. Rupert whispered to theprincipal. "Plumb plumbing perplexing and quite preposterous." Hereceived another jab in the ribs from his wife!

CHAPTER 2

The new neighbors

Tiffany smelled the pie as she came into the house. She smiled as shesaw the kids and Mr. Pickles coming out of the kitchen and they all hadflour at some point on their faces and hands. "Do I smell pie?"

Susie smiled. "We baked it for you to take over to the new neighbors."

"OH! That's very nice of you!" Tiffany smiled. "I guess I should takesomething over to meet the new neighbors." She waited for Rupert to gethome and they could go over together. Pickles offered to stay with the kidsfor their visit.