Job Search Sucks! If you are looking for work, will be looking for work, or have given up on the whole job hunting experience, you will know how true that is. But, if you want work, you gotta do the job search thing, so why not get a laugh or two and some great advice along the way? Read it all? Heard it all? Don't be so sure. Being fired is a horrible experience. A layoff may sound less brutal, but in reality it's just a firing in camouflage; you are still being given the boot, only with benefits (sometimes). Just as crappy is having to reenter the workforce after an accident or illness has shattered your confidence, maybe even stolen your ability to do a job you loved and were good at. Or you have just graduated and have no clue what you really want to do with your life or who is going to hire you without experience. Whatever your story, the fact is, some horrific, brutal, or crappy event has forced you to look for work. You just might find a new idea or two in this frank and funny look at what we all know to be true-Job Search Sucks!

JOB SEARCH SUCKS!

YOUR UPFRONT GUIDE TO SURVIVING THE HUNT FOR WORKBy DEB MOWATT

IUNIVERSE, INC.

Copyright © 2010 Deb Mowatt
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4502-1656-2

Contents

Acknowledgments........................................................ixPreface................................................................xiIntroduction...........................................................xiiiFacing the World When You're Out of Work...............................1Can't Get Them Out of My Head..........................................7Head 'Em Off at the Pass...............................................11What's Happening to Me?................................................16How to Enlist the Help of People You Know..............................26What's Holding You Back?...............................................32Only You Know the Truth................................................35The Secret to a Winning Job Search.....................................37Applying to Job Postings...............................................43Dress to Impress.......................................................45But I Really Just Need a Job...........................................49Beware of "Job Ad" Scams...............................................52Finding a Job That Feels Custom-Made for You...........................57Explaining You to Them through Your "Me Blurb".........................62Fact-Finding Meetings..................................................67Going Back to School...................................................71Job Search Tips........................................................74References.............................................................80The Simple Rsum......................................................93Cover Letters..........................................................118Interviews.............................................................124Thank You Means So Much................................................158Things to Consider Before Accepting Any Job Offer......................165Congratulations! You Have Found Work!..................................168Twenty Ways to Prove "There Are No Jobs Out There".....................173Where to Get Help......................................................177Recommended Reading....................................................179About the Author.......................................................181

Chapter One

FACING THE WORLD WHEN YOU'RE OUT OF WORK

Our jobs are so much a part of us that work or lack of it has a tremendous impact on our lives. Let's face it, most of us spend a huge chunk of our existence on the job working for the money that gets us the things we need and want, gives us status, provides us with comfort, and (drum roll, please) makes us attractive to the opposite sex. We are often identified by the work we do or by our job titles.

Many of us label ourselves according to our jobs. We often introduce ourselves by our job titles. For example, "I'm a waste-disposal technician," or "Hi, I'm Dana, hostess at the new Steeley's restaurant."

Even when asked how we are doing by people who know us well, we often reply with a statement that includes at least some information about our work.

"Hey, Joe, how's it going?"

"Great, Stan. Just got a new contract at work. Things are looking up."

That kind of thing just rolls off the tongue, because we are so focused on our work.

Other people we know often identify us by our jobs or job titles as well.

"My son, the mechanic, says ..."

"My friend who works in food service ..."

What happens when we aren't that person anymore? When we no longer have the work identity to cling to?

Many unemployed people very quickly begin to back away from others because they find it hard to discuss the unpleasant topic of their job loss. It's too painful, too darn awkward, embarrassing even.

How are you introducing yourself now that you are no longer employed? Think about it.

Are you still confidently introducing yourself, adding that you are unemployed and looking for work at the moment? Or are you simply avoiding people so you don't have to go there?

If you see yourself in the second category, then please, for your own sake, take a few minutes right now to create a couple of positive statements you can use in various social or business situations.

Need some help? The rest of this chapter discusses three ways for you to handle your interactions with others in a constructive way.

1. Avoid talking about yourself and steer the conversation toward the other person.

Marcie was let go after a disagreement with her boss. At the grocery store, she ran into Mrs. Cohen, a regular at the hair salon from which she had just been fired. Marcie had not seen Mrs. Cohen in some time and really didn't want to have to discuss her situation with a former client. She tried to flee down another aisle to avoid her, but Mrs. Cohen, excited to see her, tracked her down.

"Marcie, it's so good to see you. I've missed my hair appointments since I have been away in Europe. How are you?"

"Mrs. Cohen, it's good to see you. Europe, you say? Which countries did you visit?"

Marcie asked several questions about Mrs. Cohen's trip. Then, when the adventurous tale seemed to be winding down, she wrapped the conversation up immediately.

"I am so happy you had a nice time. I'd best be going before my husband thinks I'm not coming home with dinner. Hope to see you again soon."

Marcie was able to keep her dignity and maintain her relationship with a client because she refused to get into a discussion about her former place of employment that might have turned out to be very uncomfortable for her and her former coworkers if Mrs. Cohen repeated it on her next visit to the shop.

Marcie realized how harmful an innocent discussion could become when recounted later to the person or people talked about. In a situation where what we say about ourselves might involve talking about our former boss, it is best not to say anything. People usually like to talk about themselves, especially clients or customers who know us only as the person who has serviced their needs in the past in one way or another. If you happen to find yourself in such an uncomfortable situation, encourage the former customer to do the talking and then say a pleasant but firm goodbye before the person turns the tables and gets you talking about things you don't want to discuss. Nothing said means there is nothing to report.

At all times, refrain from discussing uncomfortable details about your job loss with people connected in any way to your former employer. It is better to say nothing than to say something you might regret later, especially when your feelings are still stinging from the wound of being let go.

2. Be straightforward about your situation.

Let's say a sports team member greets you.

"Hey, Justin, we all missed you at bowling last week. Tied up with overtime again? Guess that's what happens when you get paid the big bucks."

"Not anymore. Unfortunately, I lost my job recently, and I've been spending my time learning all I can about rsums and job-search tactics so that I can find a new one as soon as possible."

"Gee, Justin, that's too bad. But, heck, you shouldn't give up the things you enjoy, like our bowling night. I read somewhere that it's best to keep up social engagements while you are out of work. It keeps you going, provides much-needed fun, and may even be the key to finding new work."

"How will going bowling with you lot of sidewinders help me to find a new job?"

"Just think about it, Jus. Roger works for a major telecommunications company and has contact with hundreds of businesses each month. He's bound to hear of some company that's looking for a maintenance guy. Then there's Jack who does contract training all over town. I bet he learns about every job any business around is thinking about hiring for, and even who's planning to fire whom. Randy sells insurance to corporations, so he'll probably know who needs to fill a vacancy caused by illness or injury, who's about to retire, and even who's died and left a job opening. And Stan has quite the gift of gab, you know. No doubt he would be more than happy to tell everyone he knows that you're unemployed, so if anybody's thinking about hiring someone who is reliable and trustworthy like you, your name is sure to come up as a possibility."

Being straightforward with people you have been involved with on a regular basis can be one of the best ways to gain support for your job search. Don't let go of the social club, sports activities, volunteer work, or neighborhood get-togethers that you are involved in. There is every reason to keep up with those things you normally enjoy-even though, for financial reasons, you may need to spend less money on fun things than you normally might. Maybe you can't afford three activities weekly, but you can still pay for the one thing you enjoy most or that one time out that helps you connect with others who might be helpful in your job search. The people who know and like you are often the ones who will go out of their way to help you find new work. So stay connected as much as possible and be open about the fact that you are looking for help and can use any assistance that anyone can give you to find a new job.

When we don't have work, our lives change, sometimes drastically. Try to minimize the effects of that change by keeping your non-work routines as normal as possible.

3. Be up front with those who are closest to you, even when you are afraid you won't be able to talk about the lost job without getting upset.

A very close friend may be willing to listen to all the gory details about what happened and how you are feeling about the whole darn unemployment mess. If you trust that your friend will respect your confidence, then he or she might be able to help you clear your emotions. He or she may even have some hints or suggestions to help you deal with the situation.

"You were fired, Rhonda? You said you were doing really well there. How did it happen?"

"Gee, Val, I just could not get along with the big boss. No matter how hard I tried, she was always finding something wrong with my work. My direct supervisor seemed to be okay with the way I was doing my job, but in the end, he didn't have much say in the matter, I guess. I'm really angry, because it seems so unfair. That bleeping big boss just had it out for me. Now I'm going to have to deal with trying to find a new job. Since I was fired, who's going to hire me? I'm having trouble getting employment insurance because I was let go for `poor performance.' My mortgage is due, and I feel like a loser. What the heck am I going to do?"

"Oh, Rhonda, I am so sorry to hear that. You know, when something similar happened to my cousin Joe, he found a great job counselor to help him get things sorted out. She works through an agency downtown that, for no charge, helps people who have been laid off or fired. I'll call Joe for her name, if you'd like. Meanwhile, I know you've been hoping for some spare time to get that shed painted. I've got a bucket of white left over from when I did mine. You're welcome to it."

Friends and family have a lot of support to offer. You may not agree with all of the advice they have to give, but it can be wonderful to feel cared about in your time of need. Once again, expose the gory details only to those you truly trust. However, being able to spill your guts can go a long way to helping you get over the emotions you feel and make it easier to hold those gory details back when it is inappropriate to let it all out (like during an interview).

Chapter Two

CAN'T GET THEM OUT OF MY HEAD

"My ex-boss was a scum-sucking jerk who ..."

"I loved my last job so much. I just know I'll never be as happy anywhere else."

"All I ever wanted to be was a mechanic, but I got injured and can't handle that physical kind of work anymore. I just wish I could go back to the way things were."

"I was fired. Me! They had no right. I just can't get over it."

Bad things happen: bad bosses, bad companies, and bad experiences. We should not try to downplay our feelings over what we have suffered. In fact, it is very normal to go through a grieving period following the loss of a job. Unfortunately, sometimes when bad things happen we tend to hold on to those hurtful images far too long. We cuddle them like security blankets and use them as excuses for not moving on.

In order to allow new opportunities into our lives, we need to recover from that grief, be grateful for what we had, forgive as best we can, and look to the future instead of the past. In doing so, we find freedom.

So, let it go.

I know, that's far easier said than done. However, when the scum-sucking boss no longer has a hold on us or the forced change is accepted, we can take charge of our own happiness, our own destiny.

Although the great boss might have shown us a world no other employer possibly could, yearning for the lost job won't bring it back. When the great boss is just a pleasant memory, we are free to be happy to accept a different circumstance.

Make room in your life for the new and the good by turning the page on the old and the self-defeating.

Try this today: Whenever you catch yourself thinking about your former job, say (quietly to yourself if you're not alone), "My former boss will not affect me today! I have moved on." Write the words out on paper, several times if you have to. Then push thoughts of the past out of your consciousness and get on with your job-search plans for the day. Try it again the next day and the next and the next, any time those damaging thoughts of the past stray into your mind. Keep forcing them down until you have driven those thoughts out of your mind and can think clearly about looking for a new job without any interference from those old bonds.

Eventually you will have to talk about your past employer in an interview situation. How you respond could affect an interviewer's impression of you. So, get the anger, disappointment, envy, hurt, or whatever overpowering negative thoughts you still have out of your system before that time comes.

Clear your former employer's hold over you with the following exorcisms.

BAD-BOSS EXORCISMS

SOFT-PERSUASION EXORCISM

Step 1: Take one old pillow-preferably one stained with the sweat of your labor while employed by the heartless creep you now need to exorcise.

Step 2: Cover the pillow with a plain case (the older and uglier the better) or just draw right on that pillow and toss it afterward, if you can afford to. A fresh, new pillow will help you sleep better anyway, so why not?

Step 3: Using a permanent marker, draw as good a likeness of the (bleeping) boss as you are capable of.

Step 4: Do to the pillow whatever you have been imagining doing to your former boss to get back at her or him for whatever wrongs she or he has done to you. Suggestions include but are not limited to: spitting, throwing across the room, impaling with company pens, using as a dog toy, sketching a butt crack on the reverse side, and kicking the sorry ass all the way to the trash bin.

CULPRIT-AS-POSTER ART EXORCISM

Step 1: Get your hands on some wax crayons, the kind kids use to draw all over the walls when they are first learning to color, and a big piece of drawing paper. Try using newsprint that, just like the crayons, can free up your inner child.

Step 2: Draw a circle. This represents the culprit's head, so don't worry about making it perfect. Your boss was far from perfect, right?

Step 3: Add the facial features you feel are appropriate-for example, green snake eyes, fangs, horns, pig nose-for the face of your nightmares.

Step 4: Post that face on a wall somewhere where you can have ten minutes of privacy. Then, for ten minutes, tell that crayon-picture boss exactly how you feel about him or her. After ten minutes, forcefully pull it off the wall, hold it out in front of you so you can see it for one last time, and say, "Now that we understand each other, you no longer have any control over me."

Step 5: Destroy it; let those destructive feelings go with it. Suggestions for destruction: Crumble and/or rip the picture with your bare hands and bury it deep in the trash amid the vegetable scraps, place it between two sheets of newspaper as a liner for your bird's cage or kitty litter pan, or use it to start a camp fire.

BUST-'EM-UP EXORCISM

Step 1: Form your boss in modeling clay.

Step 2: Use your imagination.

GOOD-BOSS EXORCISM

List all of the traits you appreciated in your great boss and all of the wonderful things you enjoyed about your former company on a piece of paper.

When you have finished your list, read it aloud.

Think about the idea that it is the match between our own values and those of the company or boss that made our work experience so pleasant.

Look for similar qualities and values as those on your list in the companies you apply to. Doing so may take extra research and investigation, but the results will be worth your while.

Chapter Three

HEAD 'EM OFF AT THE PASS

Your job search will certainly suffer if you are worried about where your next rent check or even your next meal is coming from, or how you will possibly be able to go to work, if a job does come along, when you can't even afford child care or bus fare. If you have not done so already, decide to handle any concerns that might affect you during your job search as soon as possible.

HOW SALLY, JAN, AND STELLA MANAGED

Sally was in shock when the news came down at work that five staff members were being let go as of noon that day. That day! With no warning! Sally wasn't one of them, but she knew she might not escape the next round if there were more layoffs in sight.

As a single-income parent, Sally didn't have much money to fall back on when her turn came. Her rent was reasonable, but she owed several thousand dollars for the new car she had purchased just seven months earlier, had a monthly draw from her account for an education plan she had purchased for her daughter when she was first born, and had run up a large debt on her credit card to pay for all the goodies that went along with being maid of honor at her friend's wedding.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from JOB SEARCH SUCKS!by DEB MOWATT Copyright © 2010 by Deb Mowatt. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.