Inner Compass

What is an Inner Compass?

We are undergoing a beautiful transformation in human consciousness. Did you know that? We are designed to grow continuously from the inside out, rather than the outside in. But we can become confused and begin to rely entirely on external sources for our sense of ourselves. This creates an imbalance that's hard to overcome. But you can regain your ability to create an inner and outer life that is in perfect alignment. We do this by using our inner compass.

So what do I mean by an inner compass? Well, inside each of us exists a sense that is designed to point to our core truth. In many ways we have been taught to turn off our internal compass or to not trust it at all. We have been trained to listen to the outside world rather than our inside needs and the desires of our core self. In fact, we've been made to feel silly for saying that we "sense" something is off, or suggesting that something doesn't "feel" right. Keep up that kind of talk and you'll eventually be labeled as someone who makes waves or called a troublemaker.

But if you stop listening to this urging from within — if you stop listening to your gut — you will end up in places you never would have chosen. The most likely destination is your past wounds, you know, that sad, familiar territory that you want to avoid more than anything. Your inner compass can direct you toward healthy places.

It's rare that any good comes from misreading a compass. Misreading your inner compass is no exception. So, it takes practice and determination to not compromise or fall back on external feedback. It's not easy to stick to what your compass is telling you and what you've learned along the way. But your compass will become your trusted guide to help you know when you are running your life in or out of balance. To move forward, you need to have a close personal relationship with your inner compass and, even then, it must be continuously fine-tuned.

Learning to Listen to Your Body as a Guide

The body houses your inner compass. The way I know that I am out of balance almost always starts with messages from my body. These messages may arrive as sickness, emotional strain, the inability to focus, a lack of drive, a feeling of disconnect from others, lack of creativity, pain or exhaustion, just to name to few. Once I understood that my body, mind and spirit are all trying to help me, I learned to interpret these messages as opportunities for change. You can do the same!

So many of us forget to check in with our body for data and information. Something feels too constrictive and you know you need to change, but you can't see what that looks like.

That's terrifying! And most of us get stuck here. We want to see where we are going before we proceed forward. This can be a major roadblock, because if we are on a spiritual quest or we are growing beyond what we have been taught or have seen in our lifetime, we are going to be sailing blind.

The only way to navigate this situation is to listen to your body. This process is much like the method of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. Sometimes you can't see out of the cocoon and you have to tune into the sensations of your body to find your way out. Your body's sensations are the feelings of being out of balance. The feelings are telling you that a change is necessary. This is your inner compass.

When monarch butterflies are migrating, they use the magnetic pull of the earth's poles as a secondary navigation system. They sense the magnetic fields of the earth to make sure they arrive home safe and sound. When butterflies are off course, they are able to sense that they are out of alignment with where they are meant to go and adjust their route accordingly; they "feel" their destiny and let nothing stop them from finding it.

We are similar in many ways. Just like the butterfly, we need and want to fulfill our destiny. And we have numerous messages that are directing us back to our place of balance. What a gift! If we would just start listening more clearly to our pain and discomfort — our feelings of being out of alignment — the world within would become illuminated and a state of peace and balance would re-emerge. That sounds yummy to the soul, doesn't it?

The funny thing is that most of us don't even ask what's wrong. Why do I feel this way? Is there something I am not giving myself? How do I get it? Learning to accurately read these messages quickly and effectively can literally be a lifesaver.

We know "dis-ease" in the body can manifest itself into real disease in your body, mind, and/or spirit. So knowing you're in trouble or out of balance is important and the sooner the better. Delaying access to that information would be like not having access to a life preserver until you've hit the bottom of the lake. That's RISKY!

I once had a client who had a serious heart condition, one that was not pre-existing, but manifested suddenly and changed her life drastically. Working with this client for a period of time prior, I knew that she had some unresolved emotional conditions centered on her inability to stand in her self-worth and own her spiritual gifts. Intuitively, I knew this client was a medium, but she was terrified to expose her gifts due to family of origin trauma.

As the health condition worsened, her despair deepened. Then she allowed me to dive deep into her heart and show her how to release the infection. The doorways of her heart opened in front of me. Just like boiling water, the hurts began to evaporate.

Layer by layer, we worked through the chapters of her life that she had sealed up, releasing the pain and freeing her spirit. Like clockwork, as the pain was released, so too were the physical symptoms of her heart condition. We found that when she ignored the hurt, the symptoms would increase and she would be in a medical crisis again.

I'm happy to say that this client is nearing full recovery. By listening to her body and its reminders to stay on course, she has healed both her spiritual and physical heart. This is just one of many cases that I've seen where releasing toxic pain in the emotional body produces a directly correlated result in the physical body.

Tuning Out Negative Self-Talk

So we start by turning on our inner compass. That makes sense. But to be effective we also must turn off the negative self-talk that sabotages our growth. We must stop telling ourselves we really aren't good enough to get our needs and wants met. We need to stop getting angry and believing the world won't meet our needs and wants. We have to stop getting stuck in a victim mentality. If we can't or won't turn off these messages, we can't hear the instructions for healing.

I've come to realize that we can spend our lives waiting, hoping, and praying that someone will tell us that we can move forward by affirming us and reminding us we are good enough. But then, when they pull their approval away for any reason at all, what then? We lash out, judge them, and return to our old wounded self. We just dig a deeper hole. It still amazes me that we think this is the best solution. What trained us to disregard our basic needs and wants and think that emptiness is a normal way of life? My best guess is that trauma, the ultimate trickster, taught us this.

If we stick to this pattern, we eventually find ourselves living in a hazy-gray world where we move in and out of a state of trance (a half-conscious state, between awake and asleep). Researchers at Harvard Business School believe that we are only consciously using our brain about 5% of the time, and that 95% of decisions are made from the subconscious and unconscious (Alban, n.d.). Can you imagine how many moments in the now we must be missing? Our power to make change is only in the now. If we are in a trance state, living in the future or the past, life is just slipping by. But being in balance allows us to be present, conscious, awake, and alive. In balance, we're able to receive our blessings and to value our birthrights.

One day, my sweet son and his partner said that they wanted to take me to dinner. He was driving and I had the pleasure of being in the passenger seat for once. In this position, as an observer, I noticed my son repeat a pattern I practiced for many years. He happily enjoyed the company but was not paying attention to the necessary route to our destination. Repeatedly he turned in the wrong place, questioning where he should be, and wandering the town as the night passed before us.

It was then I realized that I needed to pick up my car on our way to dinner or I would be stranded on the wrong side of town. He dropped me off, and I got in my car. I was going to follow him to the restaurant across town, when it dawned on me that I was going to be just as misguided as my leader if I didn't wake up. I realized that I must become conscious and find the way on my own. Once I arrived at the restaurant I found that my son took about 10 minutes longer than me to arrive.

I smile when I think back on this. My son was a model of the unconscious driver, focused on other things and shiny objects on the path. It's fine to follow an experienced leader, but if I truly want to be efficient and safe, I need to be conscious and alert. I have to choose the messages I accept about myself and not just cruise along, gulping down negative self-talk. My destiny is my choice.

Breaking Old Habits

I remember the old way. I would suffer and re-live the same unhealthy patterns day after day. If something in my environment scared me, or I believed that a part of me wouldn't be accepted because of shame, fear or something else, I would suppress the impulse to grow. Instead of moving forward, I would hold back the urge to release the energy that had been sparked in me by another. Sadly, I became the prison guard of my own pain.

Now I know that I am the only one who holds the key to break free from this prison. I've learned that letting go is where our true strength lies.

At times it feels like there is no way out, but there is! If you are in the belly of the ship and the waters of suffering start to flood in, get to the ladders and move to the higher levels. To get out you will have to create the rungs of the ladder by living an authentic life. If your thoughts don't match your actions, the rungs won't be strong enough to support you and you will fall into the old wounds of your past. On the other hand, if each aspect of your life leads to the others and your steps make sense with your inner compass, then the Universe will support you. Your thoughts will be in alignment with your feelings and your feelings will be expressed with appropriate words and appropriate actions. Success is guaranteed!

I know this is easier said than done, but it can be done! You have to be brutally honest with yourself and willing to make the change required when you find incongruences between your compass and your life. But isn't this science at its most basic level? Take one step at a time, accepting the truth as you discover it. And our "experiments" must produce consistent results to be accepted. We do that in the laboratory. We should be willing to do it in our lives.

Opening the Heart

Here's something to keep in mind: if we stay in a place of refuge (where we hide to protect ourselves) for too long, it becomes a habit or a norm. If self-protection is not addressed, it becomes a fixed state. The walls you built with your own mind will construct a prison. It will feel like a permanent structure in which you can hide but not escape. To remove yourself from this prison, you must open the doorway of vulnerability and face your fears with courage and an open heart. If the heart is closed with fear, you'll confirm that the prison is the only safe place and you'll feel trapped once again.

As we grow, we must free this energy by releasing the child within, allowing ourselves to fully embrace our true selves, both adult and inner child, becoming one whole being. That is strength, and a balanced self.

This reminds me of a client who consistently overworked herself and never could seem to find time to play. I always tell my clients in this kind of situation that too much duty makes you feel like a "dookie." (Don't ask me where I came up with that term, but everyone seems to innately understand what it means.) This seemed to be just the medicine she needed, but she repeatedly gave me excuses as to why she had to work, to the point of serious over-work and exhaustion, before she played.

I kept reminding her that the Universe doesn't create unhealthy rules like that and explained that overworking is a human condition of programming from childhood. We worked on building play into her life and, instantly, her life began to fall back into balance. From then on, any time she noticed the symptom of feeling like a "dookie," she gave herself the medicine of play, and life regained its balance.

If one aspect of our "being" is trapped within the walls of a self-built prison, then all of our actions tend to reflect a victim mentality. We operate from a place of protection, trying not to let anyone see that our behavior is motivated by feelings of inadequacy. Hello, Ms. EGO!

It's true that the ego has a very important job. Its purpose is to keep you safe until you see evidence that it is time to grow again. And it's there to help you identify when the external environment has shifted from danger to safety. The ego is what seeks good for us and tells us when the conditions to thrive have returned. But the ego can also be misled by an inappropriate refusal to be vulnerable and accept the change required for growth. If we let ego run things, it's all about us, but in a way that never actual yields positive results for us.

The Power of Motion

So, making good use of your inner compass is simple. If you find yourself out of balance, slow down and tune in. Remember, as you take each step it's very easy to let your mind play tricks on you and create excuses to sabotage your success. We must all take full responsibility for our thoughts and make the necessary changes to move into full alignment with our greatest state of being. Take one step at a time and you will find that one day you will arrive at your destination - balance and wholeness.

Notice the action words? You must MOVE continuously, rhythmically and with love in your heart to heal. Your compass works best when you are in motion. Pausing for self-reflection is necessary, but if the world is to see what a beautiful creature you are, you must get back in motion and bring with you the new aspects of the self you found in your down time. If you need to explore why you have told yourself you cannot go on, you may want to look at where you forgot to let love in. Love is your fuel. If fear is in your heart, you will run out of fuel to move forward. True love and beauty must be in motion to be seen by others.

Just as movement is important, so is connectedness. Your compass is valuable for every part of your life, not just one part of your life. Don't be surprised if when you change one aspect of your life, the next aspect is influenced and stimulated. This is the gift: one concept feeds the next and fuels the law of inertia in our lives. Let these seeds of knowledge be planted in your subconscious and allow you to take the action steps required. You will be glad you did when you see the harvest manifested in your life. If the change feels too quick or too scary, slow down and work on what feels manageable. In the end, movement is the key, not how fast it is done.

I was caught by surprise one day when a Catholic nun came to my office for a reading. In the course of our exchange she stated that one thing she had learned from living in the convent was that "love and beauty is always in motion." She continued by saying the love or beauty without motion is just an illusion.

This stirred something inside me and, while I knew it to be true intuitively, I couldn't quite wrap my mind around how to put that into practice. I put a call out to the Universe and said, "Show this to me in a way that I can apply it to my own life." Slowly but surely life started to unravel and I noticed that all the areas of my life that were in a fixed state (trying to be a perfectionist, proving I was right, always needing to make a point, etc.) were all behavior patterns that I had created to say that I had it all figured out. All were ego illusions.