CHAPTER 1

Finding your purpose in life

There is a reason you were created the first place. There is areason you find yourself where you are at the moment. Thereis also a reason you are a medical doctor or a teacher. Thatreason is your purpose in life. If you have never asked yourselfa question as in what your purpose in life is, the time to do sohas come. Locate a conducive place where there is absolutetranquility, sit comfortably there, and meditate over yourpurpose in life.

Successful people are usually individuals with sense ofpurpose. They are strong willed human beings with visionand ambition. They will rather try and fail than not to tryat all. According to Ella Wheeler Wilcox, there is no fate,destiny, or power, which can hinder, control, or circumventthe firm resolve of a determined soul. Do you have thedetermination to succeed? Do you have a sense of purpose?What have you sacrificed for success? Finding your purposein life is essential, and when you do so, other things will fallinto place. Life will start making sense.

A person with a sense of purpose is never idle. He orshe is always looking for ways to invent new products. He isalways looking into any opportunity to become an employerof labor. He dreams big and takes risks. A person with senseof purpose does not relax and become comfortable with justpaychecks. Whoever that relies on paychecks alone goes frompaycheck to paycheck. Just paychecks will not make you amillionaire. If you have the determination to succeed, youshould make friends who reason alike. Stay away from friendswho will be pulling you down whenever you are climbing theladder of success. Avoid the company of the pessimists if youdesire success.

Most times people find it very difficult to change environment,change business or career. It is quite understandable,but you can never go wrong stepping forward. Your purposefor example might be to move to Iraq so you can bring peaceto the land. The point is that things might be rough, but assoon as you obediently make that move of faith and relocateto Iraq, things will change for good. Take a look at whathappened to Jonah when he was told to go to Nineveh andpreach the gospel of God. He did not want to do it. In anattempt to run away from God's sight, he got caught up withnemesis. Eventually, he did it but after going through muchadversaries just for disobedience.

The boldest step I have taken in my life is not coming toAmerica, but leaving my comfort zone in Newark, New Jersey,to come to Arizona of all places. On that faithful morning,I put my eight month pregnant wife, Linda in the car as wellas my 18 month baby girl, Uche headed to Arizona. I drove2512.58 miles from New Jersey to Arizona to complete ajourney of four days. This draws us back to my definition ofsuccess---the positive end product of an adventure or a plan.The journey was a great adventure. The trip was a successbecause my wife did not give birth to my second child inthe car and in the middle of nowhere, but a month later.Circumstances could have triggered labor while on the road,but the grace of God that surpasses the determination of faithsaw me through.

If you want to find your purpose in life, write down on apiece of paper what you have done in the past, what you aredoing now, and what you want to do in the future. The mostimportant of all is what you really want to do in the future.Even though your past experiences can help you developyour future and bring your purpose to a fulfillment, it is alsorecommended to make a wish list. Write down everythingyou wish to accomplish for the year. Paste them on yourmirrors, on your office desk, and in your bathroom. Each timeyou look at them, tell yourself that you must not give up untilyou have them accomplished. Do not let any year pass you bywithout at least one major accomplishment.

If you want to build a house, for example, do not wait untilyou become a millionaire. Of course, you will be a millionaire,but you have to keep striving until then. When you are talkingabout building projects, it is always a big expenditure, but donot let that scare you away from your purpose. Some peoplehave the money in bulk but some do not. Therefore, if youdo not, putting money bit by bit will gradually but definitelyget you going and will eventually finish it. It also depends onhow determined you are. Your determination in completinga house might require cutting down on clothes and otherunnecessary expenses. It is then the time to apply the basiceconomic concepts of scale of preference and opportunitycost. You just do the very necessary things for the mean-time.The rest can wait; after all, they are not imminent.

When you are working and have never thought of puttingsome portion of your income away for the rainy days, you needto think twice. There is going to be a time when you cannotwork anymore. There is nothing wrong in investing moneyin stock, real estate, mutual funds, 401K, life insurance, andso on. Even putting away $200 every month will give you$48,000 after 20 years of your hard labor. If you take $48,000and retire in a country with low cost of living, you will be okay.This amount of money will not make you to be consideredrich, but will help you get started with another phase of life.Success is all about planning.

What about those citizens on the street of Flatbush inBrooklyn, New York, who have sworn not to ever keep ajob. There is no success in indolence. They wake up in themorning, put on their white summer t-shirts and just hangout in front of the high-rise apartment buildings all day long.It definitely will take a miracle for you to make it staying idle.Taking government benefits is good but can never make yourich. Do you have a dream, or you just want to eat and sleep?Do you live to eat or you eat to live? You are supposed to eatto live because if you live to eat that means your concern isjust to live and eat. I am not a philosopher but I believe thelogic is not too much of a critical thinking for us.

Our younger generations in junior high and high schoolsneed to step up their games. The time is past when you say, "Ido not wanna go to college." Make it compulsory that you willgo to college come what may. You have to define a future foryourself. Your parents just need to give you their supports,but the determination to be educated is yours. When youare graduated from high school at the age of eighteen, noone at this time can push you against your will. That is whyI encourage you to see the importance of education. Aneducated person for the most part will live above poverty levelat least. Do not put retardation to your growth.

There are so many bad things to avoid if you go to school.They say that an idle man is a devil's workshop. When youare not keeping your brain busy with academics it will startthinking about crimes. The eight hours spent at school ismore meaningful than eight hours spent on the Internet(facebook and chat rooms). Internet is a good servant andalso a bad servant in the sense that it can ruin you. SomeInternet sites are not safe for the children. Do not get mewrong, information technology has made it possible evenfor us to sit home and research extensively online withoutgoing far for it, but always consider its disadvantages to ouridle children. Unhealthy relationships are developed thereonline. Make good use of your time and build a relationshipthat will yield profit. Girls, stay as tight as you can. Highschool pregnancy most times ruins your chances to progress.It is only on very rare occasions that you come back to makeit after giving birth while still in high school.

Challenge yourself and advance beyond your ownimagination. Do not look back when you are focusing onthe future. Do not let your friends bring a stumbling blockin your desire to become an icon of success. Success is notmeant for one particular race or ethnicity, but anyone with asense of purpose. If you have a sense of purpose, there is noway you will agree to spend your entire life in incarceration.Even if you have been a victim of bad choices, get up andmove on.

Say no to poverty

Poverty is defined in Webster Dictionary as:

1. The state or condition of having little or no money,goods, or means of support.

2. Deficiency of necessary or desirable ingredients.

If you have never experienced poverty, you will notunderstand how bad it is to be poor.

A poor person does not dream of buying a car becausehe cannot even afford a tire. He does not dream of buying ahouse because he cannot afford a studio apartment. Mostpoor people cannot boast of eating three times daily becausethey have no means of steady income. There are limitedresources for a poor person. Nobody chooses to be poor, butsome people have refused to challenge the spirit of poverty.Some rich people today were not born rich; they simply sayno to poverty.

Oprah Winfrey was not born rich, but she strove hard toovercome hardship. She was actually born in rural Mississippito a teenage single mother. Oprah had been ranked the richestAfrican American of the 20th century. She was not given morechances than other Americans. She just was able to focus onher priorities. If your priority is to dwell on the past, you willnot have the zeal to focus on the present or the future.

It is true I have emphasized much on education. I knowsome people will be wondering about those multimillionaireswho did not go to college. Well that is where destiny comesin. If your destiny is poverty and you decide to challengeit with education, you will end up being average (middleclasscitizen). Meanwhile, if your destiny is poverty, and youaccepted it and remained adamant about it, you will definitelystay poor. Education just gives you an edge over the ability tograb wealth when the opportunity comes. "A higher educationgives a person an edge financially, emotionally, socially, aswell as intellectually. It is something you will always havethat can never be taken away, no matter what you ultimatelychoose to do with your life" (Ron Credio, Warden).

Implications of poverty

1. Poverty can cause death

2. Poverty can cause sickness

3. Poverty can cause lack

4. Poverty can cause accident

5. Poverty can cause divorce

6. Poverty can cause depression

7. Poverty is a disease.

Here are some points to ponder

• Vision and ambition lead you to success

• Finding your purpose in life helps you to stayfocused

• You have no excuse not to achieve success because itis not meant for certain category of individuals

• Whatever you do, get education because it is one ofthe strongest tools to success

• Abstain from immorality if you have desire forsuccess

• Let go of distractions (it could be friends)

• Avoid the company of the pessimists if you have thedesire to move forward.

CHAPTER 2

The enormous magic in positivity

It is true people always want to believe that someone is againstthem. Having always kept at least one job in any given timehere in the United States, I have discovered that workers worrymore about their colleagues or supervisors than anythingelse. Employees always think that someone is out to get themfired. In fact, there is too much pressure working here in theUnited States, especially in the nursing profession. There isalways one witch standing and looking over their shouldersin search of fault. These people go to work in fears and comehome in tears. They face uncertainties each moment they areout to their various workplaces. I have met one who wouldtell me "Yeah they do not like me because I am this and that."Do you know that it is good to stay positive while beingfocused? It is actually better not to worry about those thingseven when you knew that they exist. Worries will never solveyour problems; rather they will compound them. "Too manyof us are not living our dreams because we are living ourfears" (Les Brown). Everyone is not going to like you, but youhave to challenge yourself hard enough to get to the pointwhere even your accent will not deprive you of your positionor blessing.

However, if your coworkers or supervisors like you, youdefinitely will last in a job. They contribute so immenselyto your wellbeing (happiness). They affect your level ofproductivity. Therefore, since we all know that for sure aco-worker or a supervisor can make one's life miserable, thebest approach is to remain positive and listen to that voice ofeducation. Do not escalate a situation that might require just adialogue. Believe in yourself and do not get easily intimidated.Rebuke anxiety and tension because they can make you lookstupid, meanwhile; you are not.

When was the last time you said to yourself "yes I can?"Of course you are capable of surmounting the situation that isgiving you sleepless nights. How about praying and believingthat it is well? Shakespeare said that a coward dies manytimes before his death. Here is an instance. Angela Grace wasa family friend who was told by a medical doctor that her leftleg would need to be amputated because of a complication ofulcer and diabetes. She became so afraid and worried. Shepassed away even before the scheduled date of surgery justbecause of fear. According to Psychology Today, fear is a vitalresponse to physical and emotional danger, if we did not feelit; we could not protect ourselves from legitimate threats. Butoften we fear situations that are far from life or death, andthus hang back for no good reason.

The more positive you are about life, the more successfulyou become as a person. Workplace discrimination will neverend, but why should you be the victim of circumstances?Stay positive and try to add a little more substance to yourattributes. The fact is that there should be something extraordinary in you that should actually make you better thanothers, or rather something that makes you unique. It couldbe dressing. What about education? You do not have to be thesmartest person to get educated, but once you get it, you areautomatically different. By all means, you need to stand out.That is the only way you are recognized. If your employer orboss sees that you have nothing to offer, he or she will tendnot to waste resources on you, because "time is money."

There is a coworker who recently obtained his Master'sdegree. When others were taking promotional examination,he refused to participate. His reason for refusal was becausehe believed that people would laugh at him if he failed theexamination. Why do you want to put a limitation to yourpotential? "We need to steer clear of this poverty ambition,where people want to drive fancy cars and wear nice clothesand live in nice apartments but do not want to work hard toaccomplish these things. Everyone should try to realize theirfull potential" (Barack Obama). Try to positively be a believerfor once and see the enormous magic in positivity.

Someone who knows me too well right from my youthdays in New Jersey once stated, "Tochukwu is successfulbecause he is likeable." I hereby charge you today to makeyourself likeable, and you will experience success. Gossipdoes not make one successful. Not letting go of the pastdoes not make one successful, either. It makes you bitterwhenever you set your eyes on the person you believed thatoffended you 10 years ago. You can be successful in such away that when you are ever in need of something that thingwill just come to you without you reaching for it. GabrielOkoye stated, "When I was a youth, I never lacked anything.As I grew up, events started changing. Here comes suffering,tension, anxiety, and frustration. It is this time that I realizedthat the world is but a stage. Full of contradictions of life."

Come on now! It is all about your attitude. One with positiveattitude must believe that the latter days should be better. Itis quite okay not to lack anything as a youth, but when yougrew up, it is time to make other people around you not tolack anything. Do not see responsibility as suffering; rather,see it as a push to success. I am not writing this book as alamentation toward your `pity party' but to inspire you tohave a high aspiration. Lament no more and possess yourpossession. Even if it takes violence, just do it. After all, "Thekingdom of heaven suffereth violence and the violent takeit by force" (Matt. 11:12). However, when you already knewthat your heart is a temple of God, and you went ahead andlocked someone in there, you have automatically locked inyour success.

Reject Negativity

As we have seen the need to stay positive, let us go downto the reasons to reject negativity that can pose as a hindranceto our successes. I came in contact with someone who enteredmy office speaking with such a weird voice. When I asked himwhy he was speaking like that, he said, "It is because I haveMultiple Personality Disorder [MPD]." I came home that dayand asked my wife, Linda, who is a registered nurse if thereis anything as MPD, and she said yes, "There is a case asMultiple Personality Disorder." Why is it so easy for us toadmit that we have one thing or another? You have to rejectit by all means because it is not your portion. It is only in thiscountry that I have heard of too many unfamiliar diseasesand disorders.