Do the decisions you make today affect your future? God gives most of us the chance to live to fight another day. What are you fighting for? Who are you fighting against? We all must realize that each day is really a battle, a spiritual battle against the forces of evil, darkness and ungodly behavior that fight for our attention and focus. See through this story and pictures how God can use events to win these battles, with the appropriate attitude and actions. Included in the back of this book are daily Bible Reading charts that enable you to read through the entire Old and New Testament in one year and help you also to win the battle for God, others and yourself.
LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY
Finding Purpose for God and Others Through Life-Changing EventsBy Paul J. VerheydenAuthorHouse
Copyright © 2010 Paul J. Verheyden
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4490-6853-0Contents
Chapter 1 - A Hole in my Head, Another Chance...........................1Chapter 2 - My Best Friend - Forever....................................4Chapter 3 - Life-Changing Past Events...................................8Chapter 4 - Brain Surgery to Save my Life...............................55Chapter 5 - Parkland ER, ICU - a Zoo....................................57Chapter 6 - Homecoming, God's Provision.................................64Chapter 7 - Back to Work - Back to the Hospital.........................68Chapter 8 - Another Seizure, Another Surgery............................74Chapter 9 - What is your purpose?.......................................80Chapter 10 - Have a Daily Walk with God.................................84Chapter 11 - God will act, but you must act first.......................88Chapter 12 - What's Your Story?.........................................90Chapter 13 - "I can do all things through Christ..".....................92Chapter 14 - Your Problems can have a Purpose...........................99Timeline 2009...........................................................104Surgery Procedures......................................................114Picture Gallery.........................................................125Bible Reading Charts....................................................213Favorite Songs..........................................................217
Chapter One
A Hole in my Head. Another Chance
9:28 a.m., January 1, 2009, the first day of a new year. Due to my loss of insurance from my job layoff, I entered the Parkland Hospital Emergency Room (ER) in Dallas, TX to receive a discount for a refill prescription medicine to reduce elevated blood sugar.
By 5:00 pm the next day, January 2, 2009, I had a hole in my head. Doctors inserted a tube into my skull to drain excess fluid into a bag. My reason for the ER visit was to get the medicine. The ER doctor asked me if I was having any problems. I complained of some headaches and slight memory loss in recent days. As a precaution, he ordered a CAT and MRI scan of my brain revealing a tumor blocking the flow of fluid and building up into the upper ventricles above the lobes of the brain, causing hydrocephalus, water on the brain, and undue pressure on the top of my head. This was the cause of the headaches, memory loss, and confusion. Just days before on my way home from work, I drove in circles around town until dark, as if in some sort of black hole probably lucky that I finally found my way home.
The dramatic film of the scan showed a white ball amidst the black film in the middle of my brain. It caused everyone who saw it to gasp and realize its significance. "Wow! Is that it?" most would say, after seeing the scan film. The doctor said, "I am going to give you a list of five items, and in a few minutes, I am going to ask you to repeat them."
Not only could I not remember them, I responded to other questions that my son later told me, "Dad, you were really out of it and confused!"
Dr. Christopher Madden, the neurosurgeon responsible for me, said, "We found a large tumor in the middle of your brain, and we are not letting you leave here until we get it out. You are probably lucky to be alive. I would give you only days to live any more with this condition. You could fall dead on the sidewalk any day. Many times we find this blockage in an autopsy, after the patient has died." These were sobering words to me as I realized the severity of my condition.
"Looks like you get to live to fight another day," said Chip Scott standing there with Dr. Madden. He was a resident neurosurgeon on staff there at Parkland, and later helped in my surgery. His words were so clear and inspirational to me and caused me to burn with motivation to share my story and experience with others.
"I am going to write a book about this experience and that will be the title," I said.
This story is about the opportunity to live another day, to fight for another day, to make decisions based on God's plan, not my plan, to live for others, not for myself. "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places." Ephesians 6:12
In recent days, I was going places and doing things that any Christian father and husband would never do, testing the protective boundaries of God's grace. I was playing with fire. Now I was getting burned up in the process being certain that this hospital stay was a direct result of my disobedience. As I now read my Bible in Proverbs every morning, I am reminded of the truth that our actions do make a difference to God, and that we will reap what we sow. There is His forgiveness, but also consequence to our actions.
I had a choice to accept this result as an opportunity from God to get back on track living for Him, or complain about the whole thing and continue in my stubbornness and disobedience. I chose to trust God, be thankful for the opportunity to see His mercy and His provision for me and live daily the life that I should live.
I realized also that I could not do it without changing my daily walk with God, to be faithful to be His soldier, his Godly man for my wife, my children, and others. This experience was a wake-up call to me.
I decided to recommit my future to God, to my wife, to my children, and to others. I realized that I cannot take for granted the freedom that God has given me. I appreciated the grace and love He shows me every day, and particularly to show me His sovereignty over my life. But most of all, I realized that I need to tap into the POWER of the HOLY SPIRIT to be able to fight the spiritual battles I face daily.
My decision was not just a one-time decision, but a daily decision. Even as my strength was building, and pain subsiding days after I came home the challenge still remains to focus on God and what He wants me to do. Every day has become more exciting, to see what God is doing and helping me with decisions that I need to make every day.
One of the purposes of this story is for everyone to understand that every physical event is linked with a spiritual event. They cannot be separated. What you see on the outside are direct results of the spiritual battles, victories or defeats on the inside. My experiences, though quite dramatic, are similar to the problems that you and everyone in this world face every day. We all go through life making many decisions throughout the day that not only affect us, but all of those around us. None of us live in a vacuum, though many of us think that our personal decisions can be made with no affect on others.
Another purpose of my story is to motivate you to be in God's Word every day. God gives us multiple chances to let Him take control. He uses events, sometimes life-changing events, to wake us up and help us to see His provision. When we are in His Word every day, these events allow us to respond not only in the way that God wants, but in a way that is most beneficial to us.
Chapter Two
My Best Friend - Forever Donna, my wife, said, "I know what you have been doing. I do not care. I love you!" She looked into my eyes and made sure that I knew she meant it. I slumped in embarrassment and failure, but at the same time realized that God again fulfilled his promise to me.
Twenty eight years ago, in 1981, God had spoken to me as audibly and clearly as can be, "You are that one! Trust me!" This happened just after Donna had told me, "God just must have someone else picked out for me." Her comment was a result of my best friend and former college roommate, Tommy, telling Donna that he thought they should break up and go their separate ways.
Donna and I were friends for four years before we even dated. We had dated each other's friends, used to talk on the telephone together for hours about pretty much everything. I was at that time, "heavily involved" with a good girl friend of hers. Donna and I were in a co-ed weekly Bible Study together.
I loved Donna for her always cheerful demeanor and fun-loving spirit. I particularly was always impressed with her faithfulness to God and how His Spirit was always so alive and out front with her. She was a regular Bible reader and prayer person. She always seemed to like me being around. What man would not want to be around a woman like that?
The next Valentine's Day we were engaged, and we married June 5, 1982. It did not take me twenty eight years to realize the fulfillment of God's promise to me that I was the "someone else picked out" for Donna. He has confirmed it every day of my life with this wonderful, Godly woman. She has been my best friend for over twenty eight years. I just want you to know that God is so faithful and will do what He says He will do. I am a walking testimony to that!!!
Of course, being a "best friend" also means that she has told me some things that maybe I did not want to hear, but that I needed to hear. The main thing is that she has stayed with me and eventually, we have worked out most of our disagreements.
Two main things that have kept us together are our faith in God and our promises that we made to each other. Mostly, we have been able to talk to each other and work out any disagreements. The Holy Spirit and our commitment to His guidance are why we have stayed together. We also both have a good sense of humor that eventually makes some things not so bad.
I also believe that what has kept us together is our great heritage that we have with both of our parents. Donna's parents have celebrated over fifty years together. My Dad survived the death of two wives, twenty one years and thirty two years each, and was married a third time for ten years to Laverna, a widow that survived two husbands previously before my Dad. They had known each other and their spouses for many years. God, church, the Bible, and Christian friends and family were always a constant, stable force in the lives of our parents. I believe that the testimony of our parents helped Donna and me to see a living example of the benefits of staying together.
Sometimes, life-changing events keep people together. Sometimes, they separate people. Sometimes, it depends on how we react to those events, and the choices we make through them. I thank God every day that I have been able to share my life with Donna and that she has been so faithful to me, when I have not been so faithful to her. She has truly shown me God's love.
A good marriage certainly does not mean that we have everything in common. Donna reads the obituaries in the newspaper. I read the funnies. Donna is the money saver. I am the money spender. She watches "The Closer" and "Judge Judy" on TV. I watch "SpongeBob Squarepants" and "Millionaire Matchmaker". But then, we both enjoy the same shows such as "Andy Griffith" and "Seinfeld", and many others. We seem to have just the right opposites and similarities.
I will always remember that God told me Donna would always be my barometer as to whether or not God was going to be pleased with me. Sometimes I have resented Donna as my barometer, but in the long-run and when I realize God's true purpose for me, I am so grateful that I have someone like her that will tell me the truth when I need to hear it. We have always been able to talk about everything and that is one thing that has kept us together.
There was a time, in about the twenty third year of our marriage that we talked to our church pastor about having some serious marriage counseling. Our freedom to talk together got to be where we both were getting regularly argumentative and not being nice or patient with each other at all. I was also going my own way, and not being loving or attentive to Donna's needs.
The pastor recommended that we meet regularly with another couple over several weeks. Larry and Bonnie Waswick took their time and efforts to lead us through a book targeted to mending marriages. This did allow some things to surface that needed to be discussed in the open. We had not been able to work it out with just the two of us. Many of the disagreements we had just needed to be given to God.
The result of the counseling was that we did better understand each other. The Waswicks told us that they noticed that we had a very deep and stable love and commitment to each other, but that we had just developed some bad habits about letting little things get the best of us and making them bigger and more important than they needed to be. Basically, we were being selfish, and showing that outwardly in a lot of things.
Many marriages end with selfishness being the driving factor. Isn't that the problem with most bad relationships? When "what I want" becomes the priority, a relationship cannot survive. However, if a commitment has been made in marriage before God and man, and particularly when children come along, isn't life too short to waste it by throwing away the sacred marriage vows?
Life is complicated and challenging enough. When a marriage is broken and ends in divorce, many times other people come into the family that God never intended to be there; a new spouse, a new father, a new mother, new children. It completely destroys the foundations of marriage and family relationships that God intended.
I cannot understand a person telling their children that they love them and yet divorce their spouse. I thank God that divorce has not ever been an option in our marriage. When we took our focus off of ourselves and onto God and our children, there was no option but to stay together. We realized that God could use us more staying together than being apart.
As I kept facing each physical challenge of surgeries, and recent seizures, more surgeries, work loss, and uncertainty with most everything, Donna kept encouraging me with these words: "The same God that freed the Israelites from Egypt is the same God that has always taken care of us and given us just what we needed when we needed it." She was so right. God confirmed to me then and every day that she was the perfect mate for me.
I certainly have made it difficult for her, but she has remained faithful to me through good and bad. She is certainly a role model and testimony of a Godly woman who can see beyond the present and see God's provision. Her commitment to me has made me a better person and encouraged me to be a better Godly man.
Chapter Three
Life-Changing Past Events
Through the brain surgery, and afterwards, God spoke to me in a clear voice: "Paul, don't you see how much I love you and care for you? I control everything in your life for your good, for your benefit. Remember the other events over your life where I have shown you my love and sovereignty?" Then I realized that there have been many unique life-changing events in my life that I believe that God wants me to share with you. Some were not based on my decisions, but many were. All were certainly for a unique purpose that God intended for me, and now intended for you as you read about them here.
3a. Born a triplet, 4th of 6 children in Jacksonville, TX.
I was born on December 3, 1955, a triplet, before Anne, 12 minutes younger, and Nina, 24 minutes younger. We made six children in my family, an even three boys and three girls. My parents were each forty years old when we were born. My other siblings were Charles, age nine, Sylvia, age six and John, age three. Each child got a baby to hold. My oldest brother, Charles, said he changed many of my diapers. Actually, there were a lot of diapers with three babies. There were also a lot of baby milk bottles. There is a picture of my Dad standing over a full refrigerator of formula-filled baby bottles, looking quite tired from the effort.
Not many a man can say he lived with two females nine months before he was born. I have said that I had several college roommates, and two female wombmates before birth.
Each year on our birthday in December, the Jacksonville Daily Progress, the small east Texas town newspaper where we lived our first eighteen years, published a full page spread on us with pictures and updates about what the "Verheyden triplets" were doing. I usually had my picture taken between my two sisters. They were considered identical. They usually were dressed alike in those pictorials. I was the one without the dress.
Many pictures the first few years were of me not smiling, because I hated to have my picture taken with those two girls. Many times, the photographer would try to make me laugh to get a good picture. I felt like a "sissy". Later, I somehow got over that and enjoyed the popularity of being a triplet. At birth, Anne and I weighed over six pounds each. Nina weighed barely over three pounds. We all turned out healthy, except for a few mishaps to me that are included in this record, up through adulthood, over age fifty three now.
My Dad, who was an internal medicine doctor, reminded us a few times that our family dog was at the Veterinarian at the time of our birth and that the dog's bill was more than our hospital bill. I have many fond memories with my sisters and watching picture slide shows of us as we grew up. Dad always took a lot of pictures.
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Excerpted from LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAYby Paul J. Verheyden Copyright © 2010 by Paul J. Verheyden. Excerpted by permission.
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