Are you too busy for God?

It sounds sacrilegious, but that’s how many of us feel. In this study, authors Susan Pendleton Jones and L. Gregory Jones help us examine our busy lives and learn how to be present with ourselves, with each other, and with God. Topics include:

• Listening to the Right Voices
• Keeping Time
• Self-Awareness
• Listening Alone, Listening Together

As part of the study, you will read from this study & reflection guide, considering the ideas presented and recording your thoughts and responses. Then, in weekly group meetings, you will share your thoughts and hear the insights of others. Each meeting will include a video exploring the topic of attentiveness through interviews, mini-documentaries, personal testimonies, dramatic readings, and Scripture.

For more information, go to www.livingthegoodlifetogether.com.

Living the Good Life Together - Attentiveness Study & Reflection Guide

Being PresentBy L. Gregory Jones

Abingdon Press

Copyright © 2006 The United Methodist Publishing House
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-687-46540-8

Chapter One

An Introduction to This Study Series

Psalm For Praying

Psalm 84:1-4

How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD of hosts! My soul longs, indeed it faints for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God. Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, at your altars, O LORD of hosts, my King and my God. Happy are those who live in your house, ever singing your praise.

Christian Character in Community

THE GREAT EARLY Christian theologian Augustine opens his Confessions with these famous words: "Restless is our heart until it comes to rest in thee." Augustine, who had himself led a life of distorted and disordered desires that left him frustrated and without satisfaction, eventually discovered that we only find satisfaction when we rest in God. We are created for life with God, and only through God's love will we discover the rest, wholeness, and fullness we most truly desire.

So how can we discover this fullness of life that we yearn for, especially when we try and try but can't seem to get any satisfaction? Ironically, we will only discover it when we quit trying so hard. Instead, we need to learn to rest in God, the God who loves us and embraces us before we can do anything. God's grace invites us to discover that we cannot earn love; we can only discover it in the gift of being loved.

So far, so good. But it seems easier said than done. After all, to receive the gift of being loved calls for us to love in return. And yet we lack the skills—and often the desire—to love in the way God loves us. As a result, as wonderful as it sounds to "rest in God," to discover "the gift of being loved by God," we fear that we are not up to the relationship.

In order to truly receive love, we want to become like the lover. So for us to truly receive God's love, we are called to become like God—and that sounds both inviting and scary. Become like God? This becomes even more daunting when we discover that this gracious, loving God is also the one who is called "holy" and calls us through God's love to be holy as well. Jesus even enjoins us to be "perfect" as our "heavenly Father is perfect" (Matthew 5:48). The task begins to seem overwhelming. How does this relate to the idea of resting in God's grace?

The wonder and joy of Christian life is that we are invited by God into a way of life, a life of abundance in which we learn to cultivate habits of desiring, thinking, feeling, and living that continually open us to the grace of God's holiness. The invitation to Christian life is an invitation to discover that "the good life" is lived in the light of God's grace. When we embark on a truly Christian life, we learn to become holy not by trying really hard but by continually being drawn into the disciplined habits of living as friends of God in the community of others.

This may seem odd at first, but think about it in terms of learning to play the piano. We're drawn by the desire to play beautiful music. But before we can play beautiful music, we have to learn basic habits: the position of our hands, the scales of the piano, the role of the foot pedals, and the rhythms of music. Over time, as we learn these basic skills, our teachers invite us to take on more challenging tasks. Eventually, we find ourselves playing with both hands, learning to master more complicated arrangements of music, and perhaps even integrating the foot pedals into our playing. If we practice the piano long enough, we will reach a point where it seems effortless to play—and even to improvise new music—in the company of others.

It's around this metaphor of practice that Living the Good Life Together: A Study of Christian Character in Community has been developed. Rather than to practice being piano players, this series of small-group studies is aimed at helping persons practice being Christian. Each unit of study is designed to move persons from understanding various aspects of Christian character to the development of practices reflective of those aspects of Christian character to, ultimately, the embodiment of Christian character in community. In other words, the idea is to educate the desires of heart and mind in order to develop, over time, patterns of living like Christ.

A billboard or bumper sticker would say it more succinctly: "The Good Life: Get It. Try It. Live It—Together."

Living the Good Life Together gets at the heart of the life God intends for us, particularly as it relates to others in community. Attentiveness, forgiveness, discernment, intimacy, perseverance, hospitality—these are some of the aspects of the life God intends for us. And they are the subjects of this study series.

Study Format

The overall process of this study series is based on some of Jesus' own words to his followers: "Come and see" (John 1:39) and "Go and do likewise" (Luke 10:37). In each study, the first six sessions are the backbone of the "Come and See" portion. These sessions inspire and teach the group about a particular character trait of the Christian life. The second six sessions are the "Go and Do" portion. For these sessions, the study offers tools to help group members plan how to put into practice what they have learned.

"Come and See"

Session 1: An Introduction to This Study Series

This session is an orientation to the twelve-week study. It provides information about the Living the Good Life Together series and an introduction to the trait of Christian character addressed in that particular study.

Sessions 2–5: Topics in Christian Character

These sessions offer information about aspects of the particular trait of Christian character. The sessions will help group members explore the trait and will foster intimacy with Scripture, with others, and with God.

Session 6: Planning the Next Steps Together

In this session, group members plan what they will do together in Sessions 7–12 to practice the Christian character trait they have learned about in the previous sessions.

"Go and Do"

Sessions 7–12: From Study to Practice

In these sessions, group members will carry out their plans from Session 6, putting their learnings into practice.

Using the Resource Components

The resource components of Living the Good Life Together—the study & reflection guide, leader guide, and DVD—and the group sessions function together to foster intimacy with Scripture, with others, and with God. This takes place through a broad range of approaches: reading, writing, discussion, viewing video, prayer, worship, and practical application.

Study & Reflection Guide

This book serves as a guide for individual preparation from week to week, as a personal journal for responding to all elements of the study, and as a planning tool for the "Go and Do" portion of the study. Becoming familiar with the following content sections will enhance the effectiveness of this guide.

Psalm for Praying

A psalm text appears on the first page of each session of the study & reflection guide. It's there for you to use as a prayer of invocation as you begin your study each day.

Daily Readings

Reading these passages each day is central to your preparation for the group meeting. Consider reading from different translations of the Bible to hear familiar texts in a fresh way. Ask what the Scriptures mean in light of the session's theme and how they apply to your own life. Be alert to insights and questions you would like to remember for the group meeting, and jot those down in the boxes provided in this study & reflection guide.

Reflections

The space at the bottom of each page in each content session of the study & reflection guide is provided for making notes or recording any thoughts or questions the reading brings to mind.

Lectio Divina

Each session of this study will include a prayer exercise called lectio divina, sometimes called "praying the Scriptures." The practice of lectio divina, which is Latin for "sacred reading," continues to gain popularity as people discover anew this ancient and meaningful approach to prayer.

In the practice of lectio divina outlined below, we listen, as the Benedictines instruct, "with the ear of the heart" for a word, phrase, sound, or image that holds a special meaning for us. This could be a word of comfort, instruction, challenge, or assurance. It could be an image suggested by a word, and the image could take us to a place of deep reverence or personal introspection.

It's important to note that like the biblical exercises in this book, lectio divina is about what is evoked in you as you experience the text. Now is not the time for historical-critical musings or scholarly interpretations of the text. It's time for falling in love with the Word and experiencing the goodness of God.

Step One: Silencio. After everyone has turned to the Scripture, be still. Silently turn all your thoughts and desires over to God. Let go of concerns, worries, or agendas. Just be for a few minutes. Step Two: Lectio. Read the short passage of Scripture slowly and carefully, either aloud or silently. Reread it. Be alert to any word, phase, or image that invites you, that puzzles you, that intrigues you. Wait for this word, phrase, or image to come to you; try not to rush it. Step Three: Meditatio. Take the word, phrase, or image from your Scripture passage that comes to you and ruminate over it. Repeat it to yourself. Allow this word, phrase, or image to engage your thoughts, your desires, your memories. Invite anyone who would like to share his or her word, phrase, or image, but do not pressure anyone to speak. Step Four: Oratio. Pray that God transform you through the word, phrase, or image from Scripture. Consider how this word, phrase, or image connects with your life and how God is made known to you in it. This prayer may be either silent or spoken. Step Five: Contemplatio. Rest silently in the presence of God. Move beyond words, phrases, or images. Again, just be for a few minutes. Close this time of lectio divina with "Amen."

Faithful Friends

True friends in faith are those who can help us hear the voice of God in our lives more clearly. They act as our mentors, our guides. At times they weep with us, and at other times they laugh with us. At all times they keep watch over us in love and receive our watch-care in return. Having a faithful friend (or friends) and being a faithful friend are at the heart of what it means to live as a Christian in community for at least three reasons:

• Faithful friends can at times challenge the sins we have come to love.

• Faithful friends will affirm the gifts we are afraid to claim.

• Faithful friends help us dream the dreams we otherwise wouldn't have imagined.

During this study, each group member will be invited to join with one or two others to practice being a faithful friend over the course of the twelve weeks and hopefully beyond. While there are no "mystical" qualifications for being a faithful friend, what is required is the willingness to be open to possibilities of guiding another person or persons into a deeper and richer experience of Christian living. Like all aspects of the Christian life, this activity of being a faithful friend is a discipline, a practice.

A key decision faithful friends will make is how to stay in touch week after week. Some may choose to meet over lunch or coffee or take a walk. Others may choose to use e-mail or the telephone. Whatever the means, consider using the following questions to stimulate an ongoing conversation over the course of the study:

• How has it gone for you, trying to live the week's practice?

• What's been hard about it?

• What's been easy or comfortable?

• What challenges have there been? What rewards?

• What kinds of things happened this week—at work, at home, in your prayer life—that you want to talk about? Has anything affected your spiritual life and walk?

There's an old African proverb that says, "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." In the end, a faithful friend is someone who is willing to go the distance with you, following Christ all the way. The aim of this feature of the study is to move you further down the way of Christian discipleship in the company of another.

Attentiveness: Being Present

We've been introduced to the study series Living the Good Life Together. Now it's time to turn our attention to the particular trait of Christian character that we'll be exploring and focusing upon throughout this study: attentiveness.

Attentiveness is a basic skill in all human life. As children, we were taught to pay attention so that we might learn. We were taught to stop, look, and listen so that we might be safe. Human activities such as driving, operating machinery or computers, farming and gardening, cooking, playing a musical instrument, caring for children, entertaining guests, reading a book, going to a play, or watching a movie require attentiveness. In fact, it's challenging to think of a human activity other than sleep that does not in some way involve attentiveness.

Since attentiveness is such a basic practice in daily human existence, we may at first wonder why it is considered an important trait of Christian character. Exploring the meanings of the word attentiveness offers insight. To attend is to be present, to take care of or look after, to listen to or look at. The word comes from ancient roots that mean to stretch toward something. All these shimmers of meaning radiate from attentiveness. Christian attentiveness is the practice of being present, looking, listening, stretching toward God and toward God's ways of life revealed in the world, in Scripture, and through Jesus Christ.

The meanings of the word attentiveness contain as a key component an active response of caring for or looking after something or someone. Be still, stop, look, and listen to God; then act according to God's ways. Jesus said, "Come and see" (John 1:39), then "Go and do likewise"(Luke 10:37). Be both hearers and doers of the word (Matthew 7:24; James 1:22-25). "Attending to" the Christian character trait of attentiveness to God opens our minds and hearts to God's grace, power, and steadfast love. As we practice attentiveness, we discover God's transforming life. The Scripture says this yet another way: "Seek, and you will find" (Matthew 7:7, NKJV). If we seek God and God's ways through the practice of attentiveness, we will find what we need to live God's way.

Jesus encouraged attentiveness when he spoke about eyes that see (Mark 8:18; Luke 10:23) and ears that hear (Mark 4:9, 23; Luke 8:8; 14:35). The next five sessions in Attentiveness: Being Present rely upon the idea of listening in order to teach about and put into practice several aspects of attentiveness. Session 2, "Listening to the Right Voices," deals with listening to the voice God in our noisy world. Session 3, "Keeping Time," encourages us to make time to listen to God. Session 4, "Self-Awareness," challenges us to see ourselves as God sees us. Session 5, "Listening Alone, Listening Together," invites us to pray alone and to pray with others. Session 6, "Planning the Next Steps Together," facilitates the group planning process for putting into practice what members have learned about attentiveness. All the sessions help us to "stretch toward" God and practice God's ways of attentiveness.

Pay attention. Stop. Look. Listen. Be still. Be present to God. Come and see the practice of attentiveness. Then go and do likewise.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Living the Good Life Together - Attentiveness Study & Reflection Guideby L. Gregory Jones Copyright © 2006 by The United Methodist Publishing House. Excerpted by permission of Abingdon Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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