Looking at Yourself
A group of self-awareness toolsBy Ron NitchieAuthorHouse
Copyright © 2011 Ron Nitchie
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4670-6659-4Contents
My Reason and Sources for this Book........................1Your greatest strength.....................................3Be Positive................................................4Stop, Look and Listen......................................6Being Open Minded..........................................8Hearing vs. Listening......................................9Listening..................................................11Assume.....................................................12Silent Communications......................................13Gut Feeling................................................16Education, Experience and Common Sense.....................18Education..................................................20Work Ethics................................................22Production.................................................24It's OK to ask Questions...................................25Success....................................................27No Problems Here...........................................30Failure can be Good........................................31Nobody likes me............................................33Happenings.................................................35Ignore the GAP.............................................36The Basic Principles.......................................38Now Who is Important.......................................39The Next Step..............................................42My Team....................................................44Team Membership............................................46People & Respect...........................................47Looking at Yourself (recap)................................49
Chapter One
My Reasons and Sources for this Book This is what I have found and learned.
"Looking at Yourself," what a horrible thought unless your thoughts are vane and you're holding a mirror. I will be the first to admit that it is tough to realize that I may be the problem of anything. If there is a problem, then it must be the other person or group. To anyone that finds this topic is not for them, then you can just about bet that you are one that will need it the most. To those that are totally self-centered, PLEASE, buy my book to hit yourself on the head to do the most good, don't read it.
I have written these short (quotes) responses and quick editorials to the actions or situations I have either seen or been involved in. It is in me to see what goes on behind the surface of any situation. If it is something bad, then how do we prevent it from getting worse or happening another time. If it is something good, then how do we recognize the people involved and make this good moment known.
I had found some time ago that people don't like long explanations. With this, my mind began creating short phrases and articles. These phrases could then be memorized and the articles are quick to read. They are all for self-recognition or sharing experience with knowledge.
It is impossible for me to acknowledge all the people that unknowingly gave me a subject or reaffirmed a subject.
I am proud of what I have experienced and can share with you. Please read and help others achieve.
Ron Nitchie
Your greatest strength today
May be admitting one of your weaknesses!
RLN May '09
Be Positive
If you don't have a positive attitude
You may not recognize a positive action or comment
RLN November 2008
Be Positive
Life will be a whole lot more fun!
RLN December 2008
Show Positive
Smile a lot!
LY January 2011
STOP, LOOK and LISTEN
STOP:
• Stop dwelling over your mistakes, learn from them
• Stop being negative, you will grow faster being positive
• Stop being unapproachable, you're scaring others away
• Stop with the frowning. Smiles open doors
LOOK:
• To look at your personal attitude, is a tough challenge
• Look at yourself and ask "Am I approachable"?
• Look for methods to encourage others, this will create a team
• Look every day at work and home to make others feel important
LISTEN:
• Listen to yourself. Are you thinking positive thoughts?
• Listen to others, their input may be just what you and the team need
• Listen and digest what you are hearing.
To STOP, LOOK and LISTEN takes practice, but the results will be exciting. This will be for you, family, friends, team, and work. ALL will benefit - learn it & teach it.
Being Open Minded
Don't ask any questions,
If you can't accept the answers!
RLN June 2008
Don't ask for suggestions, If you aren't willing to listen!
RLN June 2008
Being open minded Is good for mental growth!
RLN August 2011
Hearing vs. Listening
Hearing and listening to me are 2 different worlds. Many people can hear, but do not listen. You do not have to be able to hear to listen, consider the deaf.. What if your stomach is growling? You cannot always hear it, but you definitely feel it. So if you listen to it, you intake a beverage or food and satisfy its need.
This I feel was one of our first lessons in life. The words "Don't touch the burner, you'll get burnt." OK, I heard my parents say that, but eventually I had to touch it. Whether it was by accident or intent, I had to touch it. Instantly my listening mode in life became engaged. Listening also engaged a new questioning level, like "what is hot?"
I am hearing impaired which has given me a reason to teach others the importance of listening. What I want you to be aware of is that hearing is done by the ears and listening is done by the whole body.
To have the ability to hear is a gift. To listen is enhancing that gift.
When you are visiting with someone, either casually or in a meeting, do you look at the audience, your shoes, or the ceiling? Then the odds are good that you just hear part of what is going on. If you look at each person talking, then chances are you are listening. Why do I say that? Subconsciously when listening, you are also reading their eyes, lips and/or gestures. By these items you are listening to what is being said and not just told.
People many times aren't aware they have a gift to listen. When they listen, more times than not, a question or comment will be resolved quickly and both parties will be satisfied. A manager or co-worker that listens will get more respect than one that wishes to dominate and always believe they are right.
To be the best friend, best co-worker, best family member, or the best boss, just learn how to listen. Then by listening you can give the proper feed back.
RLN Oct 2008
Listening
Hearing is important But listening is most important.
RLN 2002
ASSUME
Contrary to popular belief Communication is not spelled "A-S-S-U-M-E"
RLN Nov 2007
Silent Communications
If you saw this title and then recognized that I had left the page blank, then that would pretty much size up what "Silent Communications" consists of. Unfortunately it goes deeper and carries a sizeable effect on other people.
Let's warm up with this. We're at the work place and you go into the supply room. When you search for an item other items get moved. Then when you are done searching and haven't cleaned up after yourself. Have you shown disrespect?. With this type of silent communications, you have just told the supply clerk "I'm too important to clean this", "that's your job to clean up after me", or "I just don't care about anyone else." How much respect have you earned when you need more supplies? Have you destroyed teamwork, cooperation, respect and appreciation?
Let's say I come in to work and greeted you with "Hello." You just looked and didn't respond with any type of acknowledgement at all. Unless I'm a hard core person that wishes to be a loner, you have just said silently "leave me alone." This may set up barriers when you need assistance later. The same type of negative feelings can result from not responding to a "Good Night, Thank you, How was your day?, the list goes on."
Just like the supply room for "silent communications" how about the restrooms, company cars, trash outside by the door or in the parking lot, break room, refrigerators, and the list goes on.
I have witnessed a number of times that managers can set the stage for a good day at work. Most of the time just by greeting people they are saying "alright the door is open, come on in." If the whole group is happy and the boss comes in with a "silent communication" frown, it will probably take the joy out of the group. It will set up an unwanted or needed caution flag. What's his/her problem today?
OK! One more area and I think you will have gotten the picture; this is with projects or work assignments. Hey! Build me a bridge. Whoops! Over what, what load capacity, covered or open, time limit, etc. This makes both manager and worker look bad. It is up to both of you to either ask questions or explain better. This helps build teams and heroes, instead of negative feelings about people's work capabilities and communication skills.
Silent Communications is needless to say a "lousy way to build friendships, develop teamwork or run a business."
RLN June 2007
GUT FEELING
When someone is talking and they don't seem to make sense,
it is time to listen to your gut
and not what your ears hear before extending the conversation.
RLN May 2008
Life is full of doorways.
Let your gut open one.
This may be your new opportunity.
LY 2010
Excuse me for talking while you are trying to interrupt.
RLN July 2010
Education, Experience and Common Sense
(the ultimate team)
So many times I have witnessed interoffice battles over these 3 subjects. What a shame since they are all 3 needed and valued. Maybe not at the same time.
Example #1:
It takes a college education to develop a new type of paint, with all the chemicals and colors involved. Experienced people have taught the chemist what type of surface and weather conditions this paint should to be designed for. Now common sense will choose the application method and surfaces to use it on.
Example #2:
In the office environment, education can be both beneficial and harmful. If the college graduate comes in and claims they are smarter, then the team will develop a negative attitude. Those with experience in the procedures will be offended. Common sense says that experience has kept the department going and now education must learn from experience, then develop and listen to new ideas, together.
There are some careers that an education is a must, as in medical, education, engineering etc. Experience goes a long way in plumbing, electrical, carpentry, steel, etc. A technical education in these categories are very beneficial. With all of these career fields and others, they still must contain common sense to survive and reap the maximum potential.
At NO time should an educated person try to dominate some ones experience. I repeat myself by saying "It requires common sense between the two for a proper solution."
Have fun! Put this team on your team.
RLN August 2008
EDUCATION
Your education has failed you if you know all the answers,
and you still don't know how to ask a question.
* * *
Education is never complete until you combine it with
experience and common sense.
* * *
Enjoy a challenge admit you don't know something then go learn it
* * *
Before you try to impress someone with what you think you know,
impress them by directing them to someone that does know.
* * *
Education comes in many forms not just in books
RLN June '08
Work Ethics
Before you get critical of others.
Remember to check your own work ethics first.
* * *
Blaming others for a problem is the easy way out,
and can create additional problems.
* * *
First look at and correct the error
Then evaluate the person.
A person may not be the error!
RLN Aug. 2007
PRODUCTION
Whether evaluating or training
- Remember Numbers don't make people
people make numbers.
RLN June 2008
It's OK to ask Questions!
Questions mean: That you want to learn more
Questions mean: That you are interested in your work
Questions mean: That you want to improve your quality of work
Questions mean: That you care about your work
Questions mean: That you are striving for better customer service
Now, are there ANY Questions?
RLN Sept. 2001
SUCCESS
How do you view or recognize it?
An early news show had a young man on as a guest. He had his guideline to becoming successful. Due to my need to get to work, I wasn't able to listen to the interview. When I got to work, I noticed that no-one was reading his book. Yet, I saw success in so many of my co-workers. They had overcome the pain of a family illness or death. They had overcome identity theft and being befriended. Stories were being told about a family gathering or a road trip. People giving others support and at the same time taking care of customer needs. Success was everywhere. None of their stories were about wealth.
So I began to think about success; the way the news media portrayed it and then the way I see and recognize success.
An athlete sets a new record in a sport. This type of success always makes the sport headlines. Then the athlete begins to get offers and begins to make big dollars.
How about an athlete in the Special Olympics? It may take these people 2-3 years just to get up on skis and train for this moment. Both are great success stories, right?
So many times a public speaker is considered successful for their ability to speak in front of such large groups.
How about the person who has had a stroke and has now managed to communicate using special equipment? Both are great success stories, right?
A great celebrity in the art of music draws thousands to a concert and makes millions of dollars. Wow what great success! But yet they can seldom raise their own children, stay off influencing drugs, or manage their wealth.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Looking at Yourselfby Ron Nitchie Copyright © 2011 by Ron Nitchie. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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