MY ADVENTURE BEGINS

It was a warm summer's night on Saturday, May 28, 1994, as I stood in line to pay the $7 cover charge at Yesterdays in Destin, Florida. I had entered a time in my life, when I was beginning to look at everything through a spiritual consciousness. I was starting to realize that everything in life is a choice and that our choices create our lives, minute by minute. So I had a life-changing choice to make, when I heard the cashier say, "You don't want to go in there. It's standing room only, and you will never find a seat!" Without even pausing to think, I replied, "I'm here with 150 single people from Atlanta, and I'm sure there will be a seat waiting for me, when I get in there." I handed her the $7, got my hand stamped, and walked in the door.

As soon as I entered the nightclub, I found a table with a large group of my Atlanta friends. I waved to my friend, Glenn, and we headed out to the dance floor, feeling the joy of the music and dancers all around us. I had been coming to Destin with our singles group, Every Single Person, every Memorial Day and Labor Day Weekend since my divorce in early 1987. For about four or five minutes, I experienced the ecstasy of movement, as the music moved through me, taking me away from the mundane cares of everyday life. During those seven years of going on the Destin Trip, my two biggest delights were that first plunge into the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico and that first dance, after walking in the door of Yesterdays!

The song was over and we returned to the table. I noticed there was not an empty seat available. Somewhat absentmindedly, I reached over to the neighboring table and grabbed an empty chair, without ever making eye contact or speaking to the folks at the table. As I sat down, I suddenly realized I had been terribly rude and inconsiderate to "just steal a chair" like that, on the night it was SRO at Yesterdays. As I looked across to the other table, wondering what to say, a middle-aged couple came off the dance floor and realized they were one chair short. A young couple in their 20's just looked on, while a handsome middle-aged gentleman stepped over to another table and politely asked the couple sitting there if he could take their extra chair. Everyone was able to sit down and enjoy the music, and I realized that I could stop feeling guilty for my mistake. I was soon to find out that it was one of the most important mistakes of my life!

"Wow! That man looks just like my Grandfather Frank, when he was in his 50's!" He was neatly dressed in khakis with a paisley silk shirt of khaki and black with splashes of blue and pink. His wavy dark brown hair was nicely combed and he wore gold rimmed glasses that gave him the distinguished appearance of a college professor. I looked at the woman, who had just come back from the dance floor with her husband, and tapped her on the shoulder. "Is your friend single?" I asked. "Oh yes," she replied. "Is he here by himself?" I then asked, having visions of a girlfriend coming out of the ladies room and bopping me with her purse! "Yes, he is," was her answer. "Do you think he would dance with me?" "Oh sure!" was her reply.

Where did that thought come from? In seven years, I had NEVER asked a man, I did not know, to dance with me at Yesterdays! With 150 people from Atlanta, I had plenty of friends handy. Plus, being in Destin, AKA the "Redneck Riviera", one could never know if he was a "beer-drinkin', truck-drivin', gun-totin' Southern Boy". Growing up in the Boston area, my type was more the college professor who enjoyed a good wine and some classical music. Somehow, I was being guided. So I took a deep breath and walked over to his side of the table.

In my 14 years as a Nurse Practitioner doing medical examinations, I had learned that one never touches a stranger, until a level of comfort is achieved through conversation. Yet there I was, coming up to this man from behind and placing my hands on his shoulders before I ever said "Hello". I leaned over his right shoulder and smiled brightly, asking "Would you like to dance?" He smiled back and in a deep southern drawl replied, "Why certainly!" He stood up, took my hand and led me to the dance floor, where the Righteous Brothers "Unchained Melody" was playing. Soon I was in his arms, feeling so comfortable, like I had been there before. There was something so intimate about the way my right pinky finger was caught between the fingers of his left hand.

Before I could even think, I was singing to him, "I need your love ... I need your love ... God speed your love ... to me." At the end of the song, he whispered, "I always wanted a woman that would SING to me!" My heart skipped a beat, as I had been a singer all of my life. Because of that, singing a love song to a man had extra special meaning to me. The gentle kiss that he planted on my forehead just caused me to melt. I knew I would not leave his side for the rest of the evening.

We were inseparable, until the club closed at 1:30 AM. The rest of the evening was spent sipping Diet Coke, getting to know one another, dancing, and laughing. He gave me a business card which said, "Captain Rodger C. Vardman, Columbus Fire Department, Columbus, Georgia". Being blessed with an insane sense of humor, I knew I had to test him to see if he could handle my craziness. Rodger was a fun person, but seemed quite serious on the surface. An extremely funny line popped into my head. "Is it true what they say about firemen? They have a big hose and they know how to use it!" He laughed heartily and looked at me in a way that said he was wondering what else this woman would say before the night was over.

I knew there was so much left for us to say to one another, so as the club was closing, I asked if he would like to walk on the beach with me. He threw the car keys at his friend Jerry, and piled into the back seat of my roommate's car. When we arrived at Hidden Dunes Resort, I knew I had to get creative. This man could not walk the beach in those nice clothes. Knowing that my roommate Kevin was sleeping on the beach with my roommate MaryEllen, I crept into his room to "borrow" his bathing suit and flip flops. Then we grabbed my beach blanket and headed off into the moonlight.

On our route from the condo to the shore, he patiently waited until we were completely alone for the first time that entire night, then stopped me in the middle of the street to give me the kind of kiss that you only see in the movies: warm, lingering, gentle yet passionate, transformative, causing time to completely stop until we parted lips. I was speechless until we got down to the sand, leaving our flip flops in the boxes at the end of the boardwalk. He had his arm around me and held me tightly to his left side, when he said "I have been walking this beach alone for seven years and it has been breaking my heart". A reply left my lips before I could stop myself, "Don't worry. You'll never have to walk this beach alone ever again!" Then my ego jumped in and was quite upset with me. I said to myself, "How can you say that to a man you've only known for 4 or 5 hours?" Yet in my heart I KNEW I was right.

The moon was full, the stars were twinkling, and the waves were rhythmically crashing on the shore, as we spread out the blanket and lay down side by side. His head was on my left shoulder, as we cuddled and kissed and spoke openly about our personal lives. "Where do your parents live?" I asked. "Well, my Mother is in an assisted living apartment in Columbus. My Dad died when I was a young boy and I never really knew him". As soon as he mentioned his father, I had a strange feeling in my gut that there was something wrong with that story. It felt like he had been lied to about his father. Suddenly, I felt his father's presence with us and realized it had been there all evening. I wondered if his Dad was that unknown force that had brought us together, on an evening when I was told I would be wasting my time going into Yesterdays when it was SRO?

I told Rodger about my job as a Nurse Practitioner in Family Practice in Midtown Atlanta. I was a single Mom with a beautiful 12 year old daughter named Julie, after Julie Andrews my childhood idol. It was interesting that Rodger and I both got divorced in 1987. I told him how I went to therapy with Julie's Dad for 3 years, trying to make the marriage work. Because of my Roman Catholic upbringing, it was very difficult for me to entertain the possibility of divorce. However, when my 4 year old child was standing in our kitchen with clenched fists by her sides exclaiming "I HATE yelling!", I realized I had to end the marriage and create a peaceful home where everyone communicated effectively and cared for one another. What an amazing moment, when Rodger looked at me with those bright blue eyes and said, "Marguerite, no one has ever REALLY loved you before!" Somehow I could tell he was signing up to be the first man who DID.

Before we knew it, it was about 4:00 AM and we realized we needed to go home and get some sleep. I had to be up and dressed at 10:30 the next morning, as several of my friends were planning a church service on the beach. Rodger decided he would attend, as he was trying to figure out how Marguerite could be out dancing to Rock `n Roll that night and delivering a sermon the next morning. I was not an ordained minister, but it was a career path I had been toying with for the past few years. I had been a church soloist since the age of 16, and as a former college professor, it was not difficult for me to come up with a topic and formally present it to a group.

I was almost amazed, when we got to the beach the next morning that this man was still looking at me with so much love in his eyes. We all spread out blankets and held the service sitting on the blankets by the sea. About 20 people rolled out of bed and attended. We had prayers, songs, a meditation, and a lesson. One of the guys took off his baseball cap and we passed the hat for an offering, to bring back to our beloved church, Unity North Atlanta. As soon as the service was over, we stood up to hug each other and fold up the blankets. My dear Rodger spoke words that made my heart sing! He very seriously said, "Marguerite, I have been waiting my whole life to find a church like this." Any doubts I had about pursuing a relationship with this man just floated away on the ocean breeze, as I realized at the depth of my being that this would be a spiritually based relationship. It was an answer to my prayers.

After church, we headed back to Rodger's condo to reconnect with his house guests. Jerry and Sonya were his former brother-in-law and his wife. The young couple was their daughter and her husband. After I got a tour of the condo, the six of us headed to lunch at an outdoor seaside seafood restaurant. Yum! Being raised in New England, I was in seafood heaven! Soon after lunch, Rodger and I realized that we were extremely exhausted from being up all night. Back to my condo we went, for a nap. As we curled up on my bed, with his head comfortably resting on my shoulder, Rodger opened his heart and told me the entire story of his broken marriage. After over 20 years of marriage, he lost his wife, Carla, to another man. This big, strong fireman wept in my arms as he finished his heart-wrenching story. Then he looked deeply into my eyes and said, "But now I know why Carla left me ..." I thought he would then explain how he examined the marriage and found all the flaws, but instead he continued, "So I could meet YOU, Marguerite!" We slept peacefully, wrapped in our new-found love.

That evening, we had a quiet dinner at Applebee's and learned to our amazement that we had this uncanny ability to pick the same entrees on the menu. We then developed a tradition that lasted throughout our entire relationship; of ordering our #1 and #2 choices, so we could share. As the evening was drawing to a close, we realized I would be heading back 350 miles to Marietta in the morning. We made sure we had each others phone numbers, and I promised to call when I got home safe. Since he was on vacation, he said he would come visit me in a week or so. Neither of us wanted to say Good Bye, but the promise of seeing each other soon was reassuring. I was almost afraid I would wake up and find out this was all just a dream.

A NEW LIFE WITH RODGER

On my drive back to Metro Atlanta, I was just a schoolgirl in love! I found myself playing Michael Bolton's "Time, Love, & Tenderness" album on the tape player and singing all the love songs to my new man. As soon as I got in the door and put my bags down, I called him at the condo. He amazed me when he said he had been listening to the same Michael Bolton album all afternoon. Before he hung up, he asked, "Can I call you anytime?" I chuckled and replied, "Baby, we were up until 4:00 in the morning that first night. You can call me ANY time!"

He really meant it. Tuesday night I went to bed and was awakened by the phone at 1:30 AM. "My relatives went to the Casino in Biloxi. I didn't feel like gambling my money away, so I stayed home. Now I am bored. Can I come to see you this week?" "Sure" I replied. "When would you like to come?" "Tomorrow!" he answered. So on Wednesday afternoon; there he was standing at my door with three peach roses in a vase. I felt like I won the Romance Lottery!

That evening was a very special time for us. Wednesday night was when Rev. Steve and Mary Bolen had their Wednesday Night Service and Prayer Circle at Unity North Atlanta. My sweet Rodger was about to meet all my spiritual friends. The tradition at Unity was for everyone to give each other hugs. Trying to stay spiritually conscious, I wondered how a bunch of men hugging me would impact Rodger, since he had a deep wound from Carla finding another man. So I told him about our hugging tradition, on the way to church. Things went perfectly. All the women thought he was so handsome and loved rubbing his back to feel his silk shirt, so Rodger ended up getting more hugs than me. It was wonderful to watch him blossom in the Light of unconditional Love.

Sometime in the next 48 hours, Rodger told me he was in love with me! It was not just a simple "I love you", but it was followed by a complete explanation. He confided in me about his private thoughts on the night that we met. "I didn't notice you until you took the chair. At first, I was aggravated, but then I told myself that you didn't realize what you were doing. I saw you talking to Sonya, and the next thing I knew you were headed my way. I knew you were going to ask me to dance. I started grumbling to myself, `I didn't come here to meet women! I only came to show my relatives a good time. Now this woman is going to ask me to dance!' In the middle of my complaining, you touched my shoulders and something in me shifted. I wanted to say `Yes!' As soon as I stood up and looked in your eyes, I said to myself, `This is HER!' I knew you were the woman I was supposed to be with. The rest of the night only made it easier for me to believe it was true."