CHAPTER 1
Now is the Time ...
to Obey
Jill Young
My journey began on July 3, 2007, when I went to the hospital for acolonoscopy. I remember being wheeled in to this small room, and itwas freezing cold! I was probably in there about two minutes before I fellasleep. I woke up while being wheeled into recovery and it seemed thatimmediately the doctor was shoving a picture in my face telling me I hadcancer saying, "This is the tumor that has spread outside your colon".Talk about bedside manners—he had none!
I was kept at the hospital all day and met with the surgeon who was sucha nice man as well as a man of faith. He was sending me home since thenext day was the Fourth of July, and he wanted me back for surgery onJuly 5th.
Everything happened so fast that I didn't really have time to think aboutwhat was happening to me. I just felt like I would go and have this tumorcut out and everything would be back to normal, right? Wrong! I did goback for my surgery on the 5th of July, and I was in surgery for about 5hours. I went to recovery and then to ICU for a few days and was thenmoved into a room.
The surgeon came in and talked to me and told me that I had stage 3cancer and that I would need to take chemotherapy. I found myself anoncologist at Bruno's Cancer Center in Birmingham, AL, and went to meetwith him. He proceeded to tell me that I had stage 4 cancer because it hadnow spread to my liver. He said that I need to attack this very aggressivelyand take chemo for six months. The process would be for me to come inevery other week, take my treatment and take a pump home with methat would pump chemo into my system over the next 24 hours, and thenI would remove the pump myself. He told me I should not lose my hair, buthe gave me a long list of other side effects that I might experience.
I sat with him dumbfounded over the sheer volume of information I wastaking in without mentioning the fact that I'm processing the knowledgethat the Cancer is now Stage 4—the final stage doctors give a patient.
I will never forget the long ride home, sitting there looking up at the skyand thinking about my boys—how was I going to tell them? I really don'tremember much about that night but my husband, Greg, told our olderson that mommy was sick and had to see the doctor. My younger sonwas too young to know what was going on—he just knew mommy hadto take a lot of medicine.
Lying in bed that same night after seeing my oncologist, I began talkingto the Lord asking a lot of questions like, "Why me?" "Am I going to beokay?" "Am I going to be able to raise my boys?" And I will never forgetthat night what the Lord told me. He said, "You are already healed,"and then He said, "Raise your hands to heaven and praise me." Oh whata powerful promise He gave me! When I raised my hands to heaven andstarted to praise Him I broke down crying and sobbing. I had a revivalin my bedroom, and it was exactly what I needed to get me throughthe next six months of chemo and all the ups and downs that go alongwith it.
The six months of treatment actually went by pretty fast, and all myscans were showing that I was cancer free! The oncologist told me thetreatments were over, but I had to continue to come back every threemonths for PET scans and blood work, so that's what I did.
Coming up on my one year anniversary of being cancer free, I went toget the results of my PET scan, and the doctor didn't have good newsfor me. He told me that the cancer was back, and it was in my liver. Myheart sank, and I'm thinking, here I go again, immediately feeling all theemotions and fear of the year before while trying to listen to what thedoctor was telling me.
He told me that he had already spoken with a surgeon about going in andseeing if he could remove the tumor from my liver, and the surgeon hadagreed to do the surgery and see what he could do.
I met surgeon that same week and he told me that he felt like he coulddo the surgery and remove the tumor. The surgery was set for the verynext week.
Surgery was set for 7:00 am, so I arrived at 6:00. My mom and dad wentwith us, and my older son came a little later with my brother. I was atpeace. I knew that my Lord was going to take care of me, and I did nothave anything to worry about. They took me back to get me ready forsurgery, but I was able to see my family before they just prior to enteringthe operation room. Greg held my hand and prayed for me and thesurgeon.
I woke up in the recovery room in so much pain. I really had difficult timebreathing because they had cut through my abdominal muscles to get tothe liver. The surgeon came to see me, and he told me that he couldn'tremove the tumors from my liver; he thought it would be best if I tookchemo to shrink them and then we would reevaluate the surgery later.
This was not what I wanted to hear, but if it is what I had to do, then Iwould do it.
When I came home from the hospital, I was filled with questions for myLord. I had to talk to Jesus. More why's—"Why am I having to go throughall this again, Lord, when you told me that I was healed, cause it reallydoesn't look like I'm healed." He spoke: "I told you that you were healed.You may not see the results of it yet, but if you faint not, you will see yourhealing, and then you will understand why our Father has allowed this tohappen." So I said, "Okay Jesus, I'm not a quitter. I will fight, and I will seemy healing, and whatever you want me to do, I will do it, and I give you allthe glory!"
I waited about a month before I could start my treatment again so thatthe incisions had time to heal. Greg and I went back to see what myoncologist was going to give me this go-round. He planned to give methe same thing that he did the first time, but with a few changes. He putme on an experimental drug, and I went every two weeks.
This time, I did lose my hair, and this was really hard on me because I hadlong, curly hair, and I lost all of it. The treatments were getting harder,and it started to take a tow on my body. I just kept hanging on to whatJesus told me. Greg, my boys and I hung on and were determined not tolet go.
After about six more months of treatment, the scans were showing thatthe tumor was shrinking. My oncologist agreed that maybe it was timeto go back to see the surgeon.
The following week, we met with the surgeon, and after looking at myscans, he felt like it was time to try again. This was in October 2009. Weset up surgery for the following week and went through the same routineas before. I will never forget all the prayers that went up for me duringall this and to everyone that said those prayers for me, I say, "Thankyou. You will never know the strength that these prayers gave me andstill give me. I love each and every one of you. You are all saints, and Iwill never forget you for the time that you took to pray for me." (Thereare a few very special saints that I also will never forget—one dear friendfrom Florida and another from Canada. They both came over before mysurgery and laid hands on me and prayed for me, and I thank you both forbeing obedient. Two others came to Alabama from up North and beganattending our church where we were members. I believe that God sent themto minister to my husband and me. Thank you for your obedient hearts andfor all those nights that you would walk up and down the streets prayingfor me. I love you both!)
Well, on the morning of my surgery, it was the same routine as before.We got to the hospital at 6:00 a.m. and surgery was at 7:00 a.m. Theycalled me back to prep me for my surgery, and my family came back tosee and pray for me. I was calm even though I knew how bad the surgerywas—I hadn't forgotten the last one—how much pain I would feel whenI woke up in recovery, but I was still at peace. I knew that My Father wastaking care of me. He always has, and He promised He wouldn't stop.
They took me to surgery, and it was freezing cold just like before, andthen I awoke in lots of pain and a dry mouth! I wasn't supposed to haveanything to drink but the nurses slipped a little ice in my mouth everynow and then—God Bless Them!
My family started coming in to see me one or two at a time. Everybodyseemed happy, but I hadn't seen the doctor yet. I wondered what was up.I asked my mom and Greg where the doctor was. Mom asked me, "Haveyou not seen him yet?" I said, "No," wondering what she wasn't saying.
Greg said the doctor had come out to talk to them after my surgery andtold them he could not find any tumors in my body—anywhere! Not inmy liver, not in the lining of my stomach, not anywhere! He removed theright side of my liver where the tumor was, but he said that although hehadlookedreallywell,therewasnothingthere!Imaginethat—nocancer!I was so happy, I had to praise God and thank Him right there. The wordsthat He had given me two years prior had finally come to pass. And we allgot to see the result! All the glory goes to you, Father!
I was released from the hospital within about a week. It took me aboutfour weeks before I was strong enough to get around. I started to retaina lot of fluid in my abdomen, and I was miserable. I couldn't breathe wellor rest at all. I went to see my oncologist because he wanted to start meback on chemo just as a precaution, but my body was in such bad shapethat he felt sorry for me and sent me to get the fluid drained off. He toldme that we would hold off on treatments right now.
The nurse used a really long needle, inserted it in my stomach and draineda gallon of fluid! They had it tested to see if there were any cancer cells inthe fluid, and the test results showed that there weren't any cancer cells(Great news—another testimony to God's healing power), but no onecould determine what was causing the fluid. To this day, I'm still botheredwith fluid on my stomach. I just take my Lasik and deal with it, but in Jesus'name it will get better also!
For almost a year, I got CAT scans every two months, and they all cameback clear. In just two more weeks, it would have been a year since mylast surgery, and I had another scan. When I went to get the results, myoncologist did not have good news for me. He told me that cancer wasshowing up in my liver again! NO! NO! Here we go again. The oncologist hadalready spoken to my surgeon and they both agreed that I would be betteroff if I took more chemo for a while and see about having surgery later.
My oncologist planned for me to come in every week for treatments. Hetold me that I would lose my hair again and all the other side effects thatI would have to endure, and he wanted me back in his office next weekto get started.
It was another long ride home. My family and I—we all thought that thiswas over. That is what I asked the Lord. I remember asking, "Why, Lord?You told me that I was healed, so why is the cancer back?" And I recallHis simple reply, "It doesn't matter what man says. It only matters whatI say". "Okay Lord. But does this mean that I've got to go through all thisagain?" And then the Lord said, "It is not always about you. Sometimes itis about someone else." With that I knew what I had to do. I knew I hadto be strong and just keep standing because I WAS GOING TO HAVEVICTORY IF I FAINTED NOT!
Easier said than done. It was a hard battle. After leaving the doctor'soffice that afternoon, I cried and cried. It took me a while to get my focusoff of me and to stay focused on the Lord. I had to be in a place where Icould hear Him when He spoke to me. It is so important to be in a placewhere you can hear from Him because the mind is a battle field; the devil isalways trying to get you to mess up and do something stupid so you can'thear from the Lord when He speaks. We know the devil's plan, so let'salways be on guard.
The following week I started my treatments—I came in every week, andyes, I was sick. I kept this up for about five months, and I finally asked thedoctor if we could see what the surgeon thinks. He agreed, and we setup an appointment, took my last scan and went to see the surgeon ...again. He looked at my scan, and he told me that my liver looked good tohim and that he didn't see a tumor. Well this to me was good news, butthen I'm thinking, but what does my oncologist see?
The next week, I went back in to talk to my oncologist, and he disagreedwith the surgeon and wanted to continue my treatments. Regardless ofwhether or not this was what I wanted to do, I agreed and followed myoncologist's advice for two more months. We got another scan, and thistime the oncologist said that I had a spot between my liver and pancreasthat was blocking the bile duct which was not good. He wanted me to doradiation, so I went to see the radiologist. He explained that they wouldgive me 15 treatments, take a break for a few weeks and have anotherscan to see if the radiation killed the tumor. But, before I started myradiation, they wanted me to have another PET scan to be sure therewasn't anything else that needed radiation. We set up an appointment tohave this done the very same week.
Friday, June 3rd, 2011, I went for my first PET scan in 2 years. Needlessto say, the prior week had been a bag full of mixed emotions—lots ofcrying, a little depression, and to be honest, even fear tried to creep in. Iknow that all of this was the enemy trying his best to defeat me and getme to give up. And in my head and heart, I'm rebuking him—"Devil, youare a liar, and you must flee!"
When I'm alone, I talk to Jesus, pleading with Him to please speak to me.Jesus, I need to hear from you. I feel alone. I have stood believing the Wordyou gave me four years ago that I was already healed, but, Jesus, that wasfour years ago—I need to hear from you now. Every report that I'm gettingfrom my doctors are all negative—they never tell me anything good. Jesus,please, I need to hear some good news to keep me going. I'm tired, and I knowI can't give up! I promised my little boy that I would never leave him. PleaseJesus, don't make me out to be a liar! Still I hear nothing; I feel isolated. So,the week leading up to this PET scan, I was nervous and concerned.
On Friday morning, all the same feelings and thoughts were still thereas I arrived for my PET scan. I took a book to read, but I really wasn't inthe mood. While being injected with more chemicals prior to the scan, Ihad to sit and wait for an hour. When I couldn't concentrate enough toread my book, the thought hit me that maybe Jesus wanted me to sitand listen. That is what I did. I just sat there and had some quiet time andwaited, but I still didn't hear or feel anything different. Before I knew it,the door opened, and it was time for my PET scan.
They got me ready for the scan—my arms strapped down, pillow undermy head and knees, and then they placed a nice warm blanket over me.I got so sleepy that I couldn't keep my eyes open, so I drifted off. All ofa sudden, I heard my name spoken, "Jill. Focus on Me." I immediatelysaw an outline of Jesus, and I knew it was Him! He was here with me!
He began to speak to me. "I know that you are tired, and I want you toknow that I'm proud of you for standing all this time and not wavering onthe Word that I gave you when this all started. I want you to know thatyou are well. All this is about over, and whatever they find on this scan, itis going to be okay." During the time Jesus was speaking to me, the devilwas nagging me, saying, "You know that this is not really Jesus speakingto you; it is just something that you want to hear from Him."
Then I hear Jesus, "Focus on Me. Don't take your eyes off of Me. Don'tlisten to Satan. Listen to Me." Jesus continued, "You will be rewarded foryour faithfulness and you will be here on earth to raise your boys, and youwill have a long life here on earth. You have gone through this because Iwant you to share your story. Tell my people that they don't have to diefrom sickness. They can be healed from all diseases here on earth. OurFather wants to heal them. He wants them well. If He healed you when itlooked impossible to man, then look how many others He wants to heal. Iwant you to rest and have peace that all these things that I tell you havebeen spoken, and it is done."
Talk about tears from heaven. I was bathing myself in tears, and I can'twipe my face because my arms are strapped down. I'm thinking when myscan is done and this nurse comes to let me up, what's he going to think? Ididn't really care! I had finally heard from Jesus. I had been trying to hearfrom him for months and He chose to talk to me while I was in my PETscan! Talk about perfect timing—well it was. He had my full attention,and He knew I had to be encouraged. He did not want me to give upand die; He knew I was getting tired, and boy was I. But I got a surge ofenergy that I ran on all weekend with no concern about the results of thescan I would get on Monday. I already knew the results because Jesushad already told me.
