In The Parlay Effect: How Female Connection Can Change the World, Anne Devereux-Mills uses her insights as Founder of Parlay House to show how small actions can not only result in a meaningful boost in self-awareness, confidence and vision, but also become the genesis for communities that have a positive and multiplying effect in their impact.
A former advertising agency CEO, Devereux-Mills tells the inspiring story of how, just short of her 50th birthday, she lost her health to cancer, her last child to college and her job to the recession.
Stripped of everything that had been her identity, she set out on a path to rediscover herself and recreate her life. Her personal restart began by living in that ungrounded place “after what was and before what could be” and assessing the paths she had taken that lead to her rise to power in the dog-eat-dog world of advertising in New York City.
˃˃˃ The recurrence of her cancer hit her during the recession of 2010 when taking a few weeks out for surgery meant not being at the office to run the company.
Instead of giving her the time to heal, her boss chose to replace her with another leader. In a trifecta of tragedy, the timing of the cancer and the job loss coincided with her last child leaving home for college. As a single mom, Devereux-Mills felt stripped of all of her self-definition. No longer the CEO, no longer the active “mom” and no longer the vibrant, “can-do” woman she rethought she was, Devereux-Mills chose to take the moment to look at the pieces that had been missing in the years when she had been raising kids and running companies.
˃˃˃ She realized that when she got sick and lost her professional power, that many of the people who she had considered friends really weren’t there for her at all.
In fact, most of those relationships had been transactional, framed by favors that were owed and could be exchanged. Recognizing that she was missing authentic relationships that were not based on what she “did” for a living, but what she cared about as a person, in 2012 she founded Parlay House, a now-international series of salons that bring diverse groups of women together in cities around the world to connect based on topics they care about and have few other safe spaces to address.
˃˃˃ The name Parlay House came from her observation that most of the members who found the gatherings most useful were at some sort of inflection point in their lives where “parlaying” one thing into another was crucial to their sense of self, their sense of community and their sense of hope.
She also saw that the gatherings triggered a series of micro-actions among the participants that resulted in waves of connection, support and strength beyond the gatherings. One woman helped another in some small way, which carried on to a third. The dubbed the cascade that emanated from these chain reactions, “The Parlay Effect.” Woven through the book are the findings of research that Devereux-Mills conducted in collaboration with Serena Chen, PhD, a tenured Professor of Social Psychology at University of California, Berkeley that investigated the social science behind the Parlay Effect.
Through a combination of scientific research, Devereux-Mills’ personal story and those of women she has met since her inflection point, The Parlay Effect offers a blueprint for anyone who is going through a life transition. It teaches how to use the wisdom gained from these experiences as a catalyst for acts of kindness that can become exponentially powerful. The stories and science will help you reframe your relationships and in turn:
- Feel stronger in your ability to help others
- Feel empowered at a time when many of us feel helpless
- Know how to be part of creating communities that are shaped by personal value
- Feel more empathy, joy, inspiration, energy, peace, confidence, and clarity.
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