Powder Puff Principles is about remembering the grace and good manners our mothers and grandmothers displayed in their dress, behavior, and the image they projected, while preparing ourselves to do the same for our children. Powder Puff Principles is about being polished and prepared, and adhering to morals and integrity. These principles allow us to embrace our own strengths and femininity while empowering us to do anything we put our minds to.
Powder Puff Principles
A posh girl's guide to etiquetteBy KYM JACKSONAuthorHouse
Copyright © 2012 Kym Jackson
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4772-6836-0Contents
Foreword.............................................xviiWearing the Crown....................................1Hey, Girlfriends!....................................5Hygiene Etiquette....................................11Skin Care............................................19Beauty for Life......................................27Makeup...............................................35Hair and Nails.......................................45Spa and Salon Etiquette..............................53Finding Serenity at Home.............................57Fashion and Wardrobe.................................61Everyday Etiquette...................................67Electronic Etiquette.................................81Ageless Beauty.......................................89Your Cleansing Thoughts..............................97The Powder Puff Principles Books.....................101Acknowledgments......................................103Bibliography.........................................105About the Author.....................................107
Chapter One
The difference between having a dream and living a dream is what you do to make the dream reality. —AJ Johnson
Wearing the Crown
For me, wearing a crown really was a dream come true. Even as a child I was fascinated with the whole idea of beauty queens and pageants, and I dreamed of becoming Miss Texas and then Miss USA. I worked hard toward that goal, and I won first runner-up in the Miss Texas USA pageant, only to realize that time was running out for me to achieve my goal of wearing the Miss Texas crown. At age twenty-four, I became too old to continue competing in the "Miss" pageants. Apparently, twenty-four was over the hill! I realized that winning the crown in that particular pageant was just not going to happen in my life; I had to deal with that harsh reality and find comfort in knowing that I had done the best I could. But winning a pageant was still one of my heart's true desires.
While I had heard of the Mrs. Texas Pageant, I wasn't married at the time, so I couldn't compete. Fifteen years later and now married, I once again contemplated the idea of entering the pageant, but the timing was not right; though blissfully fulfilled by my new role as wife and mother to two very busy boys, my original dream was never far from my thoughts. Then one day, I just picked up the phone and called the Mrs. Texas USA Pageant—and the rest is history. My experience as Mrs. Texas 2005 was everything I dreamed of, and more! A quote by Pastor Joel Osteen sums it up: "You will produce what you're continually seeing in your mind." I saw myself as Mrs. Texas, something I really wanted! Ultimately, winning the crown became one of my greatest life accomplishments, not just because I won, but because I never gave up on a dream. And the journey involved in winning Mrs. Texas has been nothing short of incredible.
Never give up on your dreams and passions. Remember, you are just being groomed and fine-tuned to face the beautiful challenges of your future. Dream on ...
Chapter Two
Happiness is like perfume. You can't give it away without getting a little on yourself. —Freya Stark
Hey, Girlfriends!
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." We've all heard this old cliché. The question is, What is the eye beholding—just physical attributes, or the many nuances that make up our total radiance?
I've been in the beauty business for more than twenty years, and my mother, Elouise, for thirty-plus years. Chauncey, my daughter, has given us insight into the questions and concerns of the younger generation. Over the past two decades, we have done seminars, workshops, and even a television program in which we openly addressed the issues and concerns surrounding beauty and etiquette.
Yes, beauty and etiquette are synonymous. You can have perfect features—a lovely smile, great eyes, beautiful skin—but if your social graces are inadequate, your total radiance still needs work. Many people are unaware of it, but true beauty is usually just an outward manifestation of inner beauty.
Over time, every successful woman accumulates wisdom comprised of Mom's teaching, Grandma's reminders, friends' discoveries, and an abundance of information gleaned from the pages of countless magazines, books, videos, and websites. Powder Puff Principles is no exception. It reflects our accumulated wisdom, much of which may have originated from sources now forgotten or misplaced. In that respect, the advice you read on these pages includes the time-honored wisdom of such luminaries as Tyra Banks, Donatello Versace, and Coco Chanel.
This book is a collection of observations, ideas, and suggestions compiled over many years. It is a generational collaboration—and I am very grateful to have a mother and daughter who make such wonderful collaborators!
Our simple wish is that the next time you ask, How should I ..., When should I ..., or Where should I ..., you will find the answer in these pages. These basic educational principles never change, and they apply whether you're involved in a pageant, cotillion, or modeling—or just dressing for success.
So much of what we talk about in this book pertains to everyday lifestyle, etiquette, beauty, and simply treating others as you want to be treated. Our goal is to help make your day-to-day life just a little bit better. The advice here is like riding a bike: once you learn it, you won't forget it. You may get rusty over time, but with just a brief refresher, the knowledge returns quickly. Through practicing what you learn here, you will build your confidence in social situations and begin to define and improve your image for everyday living.
It is impressive to know your social graces. As a teenager, you may have thought that it was an old-fashioned notion for a woman to cook, set a table, and be beautiful and smart all at the same time. We hope that by now you have discovered that it is awesome to be a woman. We should embrace and nourish our femininity. Why shouldn't we be the best women we can be?
Don't let anyone rain on your parade
Sometimes we have to be stronger than we want to be, and we need to pull this strength from the core of our being. Challenging as they are, these are the times when we realize that all things are possible and that we deserve the best. The same is true when developing your sense of self, but in this case, you grow from the inside out. A strong inner core combined with a healthy mind and body can make you feel invincible.
You deserve to live a happy, healthy life, no matter your circumstances. As women, we have the ability to make lemonade from lemons. But, with a little inner strength, we can serve that lemonade in crystal goblets on a silver platter, with a smile from the soul. It's as easy as taking a stand and saying, "I should be different, and I am the person who is going to make the change."
Girlfriends, don't let anyone stop you from being the best person you can be. Sometimes the "rain" can bring out the very best in us, making us stronger than we ever imagined—and much, much more than we ever thought we could be!
It's good to be me!
A lot of women look in the mirror and find fault in what they see. Many of us spend precious time focusing on our every flaw. This is not healthy, and it could be dangerous to your self-esteem. Self-acceptance is looking in the mirror and saying, "I may have flaws, but I am still beautiful." Self-acceptance means loving the fact that you're unique and using what you have to be the most beautiful woman you can be. It means disowning your flaws and embracing your assets.
Start by being your own cheerleader. Tell yourself, Go, girl! when you succeed and That's okay when you fail, realizing that at least you tried. It's saying, "Yes!" out loud—affirmation that you look and feel good, whether it's first thing in the morning when your hair is all messed up or after you've spent three hours getting dressed for a date. It's loving everything about you.
How do you do this? It's as easy as looking at yourself every time you get the chance and saying, "I love who you are—inside and out."
As the Bing Crosby songs goes, "You've got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, and latch on to the affirmative. Don't mess with Mr. In-Between."
Becoming true to you
People stretch the truth daily when it comes to their age, weight, money, and more. But why do we lie to the one person who knows the truth—ourselves? Shakespeare said it best: "to thine own self be true." However, I'd like to add, "and then you can be true to others." Being honest starts from within, and it eventually evolves into wanting to be totally honest all the time.
Telling the truth is such a liberating experience that when you do it, even the skeletons in your closet will no longer haunt you. It isn't always easy to tell the truth; if it were, more people would do it. But honesty has its own rewards. Being an authentic woman is attractive and compelling. If dishonesty has become a bad habit and you want to become an honest person, start by admitting to yourself one truth a day. Then try two a day, until eventually you are being completely truthful all day, every day. Once you are honest with yourself, you will find it so much easier to be honest with others.
Be confident, even on those days when you don't feel it; no one has to know but you. Take deep breaths, smile, walk with assurance, and think before you speak. Body language says a lot, so stand tall and look people in the eye when you speak to them.
Be good to yourself first so you can be good to others. Learn to release anger or frustration in a constructive manner so you don't take it out on those around you. Most important, be willing and able to forgive yourself and others. Nobody's perfect.
Posh Tip: When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
Chapter Three
I am a huge fan of personal hygiene, so I embrace water! —Jennifer Connelly
Hygiene Etiquette
Hygiene is simply being as fresh and clean as you can be. It is a very sensitive and personal subject for most people, but also very important. This is where your outer beauty gets to show off your light from within.
Hygiene is the first and most important part of not only your beauty regimen but also of caring for and loving your body. Look at it this way—these are things you already know; we're just giving a few little reminders that will keep you fresh and clean as whistle. No matter what you wear or how you fix your hair, your look will not come together if what is underneath is unpleasant. So here are some simple suggestions that will ensure your daily grooming is picture-perfect.
Teeth
One of the first things a person notices about you is your smile—your pearly whites. But you don't want your breath to be noticeable as well. An easy way to avoid this problem, especially if it results from a lengthy time lapse since your last brushing, is to chew a piece of sugarless gum; however, you should chew it for only a short period of time. Be careful not to swallow it, and by all means discard it properly by inconspicuously spitting it into a tissue or folding it back into the wrapper it came out of. Mints are your best option—keep them handy at all times. Mints come in such cute packaging these days; they could almost be considered an accessory! Gum may be an option sometimes, but typically it is not suitable for church, school, speaking or dinner engagements, or other more formal situations.
Mouth Grooming 101
These rules are essential to keeping teeth and gums healthy:
1. Brush your teeth at least twice a day, when you wake up and before you go to bed—especially if you have a sweet tooth!
2. Floss daily to remove plaque and the food between your teeth that brushing alone misses.
3. Use a mouthwash that is not too sweet, since sweet mouthwashes contain sugars that actually cause tooth decay.
4. See your dentist twice a year for cleanings.
5. Professional teeth whitening or over-the-counter whitening products are always options to explore. But be careful, because too-frequent whitening can destroy the enamel on your teeth.
6. Veneers, braces, and envisaging all are options for teeth that need to be straightened. With today's dental technology, your smile can be as beautiful as you want to make it.
Face and body
1. Cleanse your face daily, and don't forget your ears and neck.
2. Shower or bathe at least once a day. Think of ways to make bathing fun: a new bath oil or bubble bath, candles, music, etc.
3. Shave, wax, thread, or cream, to your level of tolerance, everywhere you have unwanted hair. If you're a young teen, talk to your mom, sisters, and friends to determine what is age-appropriate and acceptable. You don't have to take it all off, but by all means, keep it neat and under control.
4. A bikini wax is used to remove the hair from around your panty line. Have this done professionally; do not attempt to shave around this area, as it can be very uncomfortable and cause bumps and rashes.
Deodorant and antiperspirant
1. A deodorant deters only odor, not perspiration. An antiperspirant stops you from perspiring but not from having body odor. Make sure you get an antiperspirant deodorant that does both.
2. When wearing sleeveless tops, make sure the deodorant you use is colorless. It doesn't have to be seen for people to know you're wearing it.
3. Bodies sometimes become acclimated to a certain brand of deodorant, so find two or three that work for you and change products occasionally.
4. A feminine hygiene deodorant is as important as underarm protection. Use both.
Perfumes
Don't swim in your perfume. Be considerate of others.
Apply perfume only to pressure points: the wrists, behind the ears, inside the elbows, and behind the knees.
When using spray cologne, two or three squirts is plenty, and layering helps. Use the same fragrance in a bubble bath, moisturizing lotion, and spray cologne.
For best results, don't spray perfume directly onto your skin; spray it into the air and walk through it.
Menstrual hygiene
No woman feels totally comfortable during her period, but we must all endure it eventually, and so we should welcome it rather than feeling embarrassed. Menstruation is simply part of being a woman, so learn to accept it rather than run from it.
That said, your period can present a variety of challenges —premenstrual tension, bloating, cramps, and the logistics of dealing with a heavy flow. It is important to learn which forms of protection work best for you—sanitary pads, tampons, or menstrual cups. Whichever method you choose, make sure to change it regularly to avoid leaks, an unpleasant odor, and other problems.
You should know that tampons, especially, must be changed on a regular basis. If left inserted for excessive amounts of time, you increase the possibility of toxic shock syndrome (TSS). While all the causes of TSS have not been definitively proven, tampon usage has been linked to this deadly condition.
To help maintain a clean, fresh feeling, frequent washing is also important during "lady's time." Exterior washes and sprays may be used for added freshness, but we do not recommend the use of tampons or pads that contain deodorants, as these can cause irritation and other problems in some women that might require medical attention.
Q & A
Q: Is it possible to "over-bathe?"
A: Yes, and it falls under the category of "too much of a good thing." The biggest danger of over-bathing is dehydrating your skin and removing its natural oils, which will cause it to become rough and scaly.
Q: Why do my feet seem to have an odor so quickly after I shower?
A: After bathing, make sure to thoroughly dry your feet, especially between your toes, to avoid problems that cause foot odor.
Public hygiene
Public hygiene is also very important because it is seen by all who surround you. That includes not just how you present yourself but also how you act when out in public. It only takes one negative action to undo all of the beauty you display on the outside. Show consideration when you're out and about. Coughing out loud in public without covering your mouth and not washing your hands after a visit to the ladies' room are just a couple of many habits that portray you in a negative light. If you're walking your dog, always bring along a scoop and a catch-bag; never leave Fido's mess for others to step in or smell while on walks of their own. Spitting, cursing, loud burping, or flatulence are all no-no's and should be avoided in public at all cost. A good rule of thumb: if you wouldn't do it at home with your parents, don't do it in public. And treat those around you with the same respect you'd want to be shown.
Posh Tip: Your body is a temple and should be treated as one. A few extra moments at the start of the day to make sure your hygiene is right can save a lot of embarrassment and explaining later on. A clean body evokes confidence!
Chapter Four
Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. —Mother Teresa
Skin Care
I started my skin care regimen when I was nine years old. I remember my grandmother telling me that if you start taking care of your skin early, you will never have anything to worry about—no pimples, no wrinkles, no blemishes. Guess what? She was right! Grandmother knew something about the fountain of youth; she always took her vitamins and maintained a daily skin care program her entire life. When she was eighty-five, people didn't believe her when she would tell them her age. And apparently, her skin care lessons truly work because most people now have a difficult time guessing my age, or my mother's.
If you weren't lucky enough to have someone teach you good skin care techniques at an early age, it's never too late to learn.
Grandma's skin care regimen
1. Make a special effort to wash off your makeup in the evening, no matter how tired you are. Your skin needs to breathe at night.
2. Drink a lot of water. About 60 percent of our body is made up of—you guessed it—water. That means if it doesn't stay hydrated, it will dry and wrinkle like an un-watered houseplant.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Powder Puff Principlesby KYM JACKSON Copyright © 2012 by Kym Jackson. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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