This book is about one's struggles, triumphant and acceleration into the things of God. Pastor Lisa tells the story of how you can be born into the life of drugs, and never allow the negativity of a difficult childhood to prevent you from seeking God and His glory. This book will challenge you to seek the master plan of God for your life regardless of your struggle or family issues.
IN THE Process
By Lisa C. BrooksAuthorHouse
Copyright © 2009 Lisa C. Brooks
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4490-0224-4Contents
1 Where Did It All Begin?.......................12 The Seed......................................5a. No Regrets...................................6b. He's Still God...............................93 Going Through The Motions.....................154 Stay In Your Lane.............................195 Misplaced Focus...............................23a. Distractions.................................266 Don't Forget to Remember......................317 Pressure......................................378 Don't Stop Dreaming...........................419 Friends.......................................49a. Best Friends.................................5210 Family.......................................57a. They Are So Precious"........................6111 I Got This!..................................6512 May I Help You?..............................6913 Will I Ever Arrive?..........................77
Chapter One
"Where Did It All Begin?" Wednesday November 14, 1978 11:30 p.m.
I'm sitting at the dinning room table with my sister, my mom, grandma on the piano, and a friend of the family was there; he was a minister. We were singing a song called, "I Walk With God", and I began to cry and be broken in my spirit. Being fourteen years of age at the time, I really didn't understand what was going on in my life. All that I remember is this; I would come home from school, go in my bedroom, and for hours I would read the bible. I would fast and pray for days. My mother would look at me and ask me was I okay. I knew in my heart there was more to God than a Sunday school class and a choir. I had a hunger for the Lord that was unreal. Not knowing that there was a void in my life and that this void was going to be filled this night. Well, to make a long story not as long, the Lord filled me with His spirit. When they picked me up off the floor, with tears streaming down my face and speaking in a language that I was totally unaware of; I knew the real meaning of being 'drunk in the spirit'. What a night. I got on the phone and it was midnight. I called everyone I could think of, saying.... "I've got the Holy Ghost!" I thought about Paul and Silas; and you know what, things really do happen at midnight.
I remember the saints saying, "I looked at my hands and they looked new", that is exactly what I was feeling the next morning. I started throwing clothes away, as well as some of my music. This was a new day, a new beginning for me. This was the beginning of sanctification and restoration. Believe me God gives us grace and faith, but we must sanctify ourselves through God's word.
"Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth." (John 17:17)
I realized, "wait a minute, I have the same hands, same feet, same face, and some of my thoughts were the same". That's when the Joel 2:25 process had begun. I didn't understand at that time, that with everyday of our lives, we are being restored. As we walk with the Lord He restores us.
"And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you." (Joel 2:25)
God's desire for you is to give back to you every thing you lost. He has a double portion blessing for you, but if you don't change your mind, you will never receive it.
Just take a moment and picture a Father and son going for a walk in the park talking and sharing, as well as bonding. The son may have a few questions for Dad or maybe he just wants to be in his father's presence. That is exactly what we must do with our heavenly Father. Spend time with him. He wants fellowship, and as we spend time reading His word and praying, we are seeking Him. As we seek Him, we renew our minds. Yes, He gives us a new mind; old out, new in.
Here's an example: the old mind says, "I can never love or be loved because I didn't receive love as a child. I was abandoned and no one cared". The new mind in Christ says: "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, and that sacrifice was made for me! For that reason, I can love, and I am loved unconditionally".
A new mind is the beginning of the process of restoration, which allows us to comprehend that God wants us to have the best life. In St. John 10:10, it's called abundant life; the God life, complete in Him. Your process will begin in your mind.
We must have the mind of Christ. In order for us to develop a Christ-like mind, we have to renew our minds. It is then, that transformation will take place.
"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God." (Romans 12:2)
As my mind begins to change, which includes my soulish man, my intellect, the seat of my emotions will experience change. This is not an overnight method. It's not magic. It is surrender, then receiving, and finally applying on a daily basis. I surrender my will, I receive God's word, which is His will, and then I apply His word to my life. That means I become a doer of the word and not a hearer only. When we put this method into operation, manifestation will always follow. If you change your mind everything else will change. Let me warn you. This does not mean that you won't have crazy thoughts come across your mind or a flash from your past. The remedy for that:
"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" (II Corinthians 10:5)
Chapter Two
"The Seed"
So often we read the word of God and of course we are encouraged, but when we find ourselves in the lines that we have read that can be difficult. For example, God spoke to the prophet Isaiah concerning His people being objects of His love and honored in His sight.
"When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee." (Isaiah 43:2)
It's okay when I'm reading about the children of Israel, but what happens when my waters, rivers, and fires begin?
I'd like to share with you a part of my life that was very difficult for me. During this period, I was very miserable. I believe I was a young girl maybe twelve or thirteen years of age, and I didn't understand why my life wasn't going in the direction of perfect. You know, I didn't understand why I couldn't get new clothes and have all the things my friends at school had. Why did I go home to a house that was full of drug addicts and alcoholics? The only comfort I had was my mother. She always tried to make me feel better and she went to great measures to sacrifice for me, but at twelve, I'm saying, "why me"? This situation caused me to be depressed and suicidal. I didn't want to live. I didn't want to deal with the embarrassment any longer. I would ask myself why am I alive? So one day, I found some pills and I decided, forget it I'm going to end this misery. Then I could hear my mother saying "You know what happens to people that commit suicide? They go to hell". I thought about it long enough to change my mind. You know what? There was a seed in me and God's hand was on my life. Even though my father at the time did not know the Lord and my house was not a Christian home. My mother would make me go to Sunday school, not knowing that the word of God was being planted in my life. Every time I heard the word, I watered the seed and it began to grow. Yes, the seed saved my life and I didn't even know it. Stay in the word and water your seed.
"No Regrets"
On July 21, 2002 I lost my father. This was a great loss for me. You see, my dad, Charles Warren Harris was a great singer. He recorded with Motown Records in the 1960's, in a group called the "Monitors". He traveled the country performing in the Motown revue with many famous artists such as; The Temptations, Gladys Knight and the Pips, Stevie Wonder, and many others. Life in the fast lane was destruction for my father. We never had the proper relationship that a father and daughter should have. I do realize that everything we have is from God, and I believe that my talent came from my father. I really wanted my dad to witness the ministry that God placed in me through music, but it never happened. Consequently, dealing with his death brought me to a weak point in my life and in this time, I experienced God's strength as never before.
There were nights that I would lie in bed clutching my blanket sweating and praying that my mother was okay. I would listen to my father talk to this hero of mine as if she were trash. There was nothing that I could do but hope that she would open her bedroom door and come out of her room. Every time she would come out, I would exhale and call out to her, "Ma, are you okay?"
My mother was a warrior, she suffered a broken jaw and many more injuries, but it never stopped her from being an example to me. She never stopped loving me. What a great woman. I loved her so much for being so brave and I hated my father for being so callus. You see at the time, I didn't understand his issues; and to be honest, I didn't care. I had no knowledge that he was in bondage, under satanic influence. I didn't know that he was abused and neglected and introduced to sexual perversion as a small child. What was going on in my little mind was how "could someone abuse this sweet lady". He must be crazy. There were days that I hoped he would never come back home or that he would die in a car accident or be killed by one of his addict friends. I know that was really terrible for me to feel that way about my father at ten years of age, but that was how my life was rolling during that time.
I remember an incident that took place that I'll never forget. My father told my mom, myself, and my brother, (a toddler at the time), this: "I'm going to the store and I'll be right back", my sister lived with my grandparents at the time. Well, he came back a month later. He called home from Mexico and had the nerve to bring back a sombrero! I was traumatized. Not knowing that he conducted a bad drug (cocaine) transaction and if found he would've been killed. My mother had to sell all of our furniture and our car. We had to leave our home and move in with my grandparents. I remember hearing my mother on the phone whispering, "Please don't kill him. I promise I'll get the money for you". I was exposed to this lifestyle for years. Coming home to a house filled with smoke, drugs, profanity, women, and loud music was normal for me. I must add this for the record. When my father wasn't drinking or using drugs, he was the nicest person on earth. He was very instrumental in teaching me how to be a manner able young lady. I had to say "yes sir, and yes mam". He had great potential but he was drawn away with his love for drugs and alcohol.
My father would prepare the cocaine in the kitchen and there would be mounds of marijuana sitting out on trays right at my fingertips. I guess you're wondering did I use? No, I never, touched any of it. It was disgusting to me to see people sniff this white substance up their noses while sometimes having a nosebleed. It was horrible to eyewitness men being thrown in a tub full of ice cold water hoping that they didn't overdose. I believe that I never engaged in the madness because God had a plan for my life and I chose to tell the Lord 'yes' at an early age. I didn't say I was perfect, but I did avoid a lot of unnecessary grief.
With this type of encounter at such an early age, I knew that I had to love my father in spite of what he put my mother through. Regardless of his monstrous behavior; if I wanted to please God, I had to love this man. Now that was a process! It involved much prayer and much time in consecration, but with God's help, I loved him more than ever before he died.
"He's Still God"
On Tuesday, March 16, 2003 at about 8:15 a.m., I went to McDonald's to get my mother some pancakes and bacon. Oh yes, and hash-brown's. She was persistent the day before and I was on a mission, not knowing that it was her last meal. Let me explain, my mother, Shirley Ann Harris was diagnosed with colon cancer in June of 2003. She was taking chemotherapy, and she was becoming progressively weaker with each passing day. This lady was always strong naturally as well as spiritually. You could always find her encouraging someone. It didn't matter who it was; could have been a stranger on the street or in the grocery store. She was either on the phone or in someone's face telling them, "you can make it, don't give up just trust God." She was on fire for the Lord, considering how she endured twenty plus years, in an abusive marriage relationship with my father. She would tell you without hesitation that God is good.
Seeing my mom in this state of sickness was the greatest challenge that I had ever faced in my life. I was actually experiencing my faith being tried in the fire. I had so many questions for God. I didn't understand this scenario; she was only 64 years old, never hospitalized for any severe illnesses, always full of energy and joy, and she loved being a child of God. My mom would tell me "Lisa, there's nothing too hard for God". For that reason, I believed that Shirley Harris would be around for a long time. For the entire eight months we prayed together, confessed the word of God together, cried together, and praised God together; but on March 17, 2004 at 12:15 a.m. she wanted to be with the Lord and I wanted her to stay with me.
It was as if I were dreaming. Please don't misunderstand me; I know she's in a better place; a place that's unimaginable, and a place that we all look forward to going to one day. She is already there and that is comforting to know, but it did not erase the pain that I was feeling that evening in the hospital waiting room. I felt like I was ten years old. I remember saying to myself, "I want my mama", at forty years of age. My daughters and my son were in the room with my mom as she was making her transition. I knew that I must trust God or I would not make it through this experience. LaTia began to sing her favorite song, "Anointing Fall On Me", while holding her hand, and continued, "Let the power of the Holy Ghost fall on me, anointing fall on me". Her heart began to race, and then it slowed down until she flat-lined with no cardiovascular activity left. I wanted someone to wake me up, but fortunately for her, I was not dreaming.
There were so many thoughts and images that raced through my mind, as my mother was expiring. I recalled the years I spent with her as a young child; the discipline she enforced, and the love that she poured into me for 40 years of her life. Then I began to put the puzzle together, she knew all this time that she wasn't going to be with us long. Now I could grasp why, days that I would visit with her in the hospital and nursing home, her fingers would have blood on them. This happened from her catching the blood trickling down her nose in the middle of a conversation. We would wash her hands and face wondering why does she have nosebleeds everyday? She didn't tell me; she had a tumor on her brain. My mother didn't want us to worry, and I believe that she was in denial. I can recall asking her, "Mother, exactly what are your doctors saying?" I noticed that she would never give me a direct answer, so I told her, "Please don't withhold any information from me, I love you and you are not a burden to me. You have been here for me all of my life, and now it's my turn". She would always say, "I know, but I'm okay. You know the doctors say a lot of things, but I don't receive it. I'm in the Lord's hands".
When I tell you this was a challenge for me, it was more than I expected. I was so aggravated. I knew that I clearly could not and would not call God Almighty on the carpet, but I asked myself was there anything different that I could have done? At this point, in the midst of tears, I had to control my thinking process with the word of God. I could stand on this truth: I honored my parents until the day that they both died; and honoring them is what was required of me by God.
"Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." (Exodus 20:12)
I realized that I must stay yielded to the word of the Lord, not because this is what my mother would have wanted me to do; but it was what God expected for me to do. He wants me to totally depend on Him. When I don't understand, and when I'm weak and confused. That is when His strength and love is manifested.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from IN THE Processby Lisa C. Brooks Copyright © 2009 by Lisa C. Brooks. Excerpted by permission.
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