Romancing On The Rock is a guide in helping men to understand not only the significance of his wife in God's plan for him, but how God expects him to treat this precious present he has been given. It offers insightful advice and some great "romantic tips" in how to keep the fire going in your marriage!
Romancing On The Rock
A Man's Guide TO Keeping The Fire Alive!By Kelly FallisAuthorHouse
Copyright © 2010 Rev. Kelly Fallis
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4567-1204-4Contents
Forward 9 yrs later..........................................ixChapter 1 True Love..........................................1Chapter 2 The Four Precious Presents.........................13Chapter 3 Being Romantic.....................................33Chapter 4 Respect............................................38Chapter 5 Thanksgiving or The Bedroom........................41Chapter 6 What Do You Mean "You Forgot?".....................45Chapter 7 So you want to get Romantic........................51Chapter 8 Being a Godly Father...............................58Chapter 9 Why Jesus?.........................................62Chapter 10 Showing Her You C.A.R.E...........................67Chapter 11 130 Ways to Please Your Lady......................72Chapter 12 The Bottom Line...................................87To the Ladies: Crown or Cancer?..............................89
Chapter One
True Love
Since the dawn of time man has asked the ever eluding question; what is the true meaning of love"?
No matter where one may look, all that is seen are differing views and meanings of this mysterious question handed down through the generations.
Sadly the answer to this ever-eluding question has mistakenly been the beginning of many relationships and the start of many marriages. The reason I say sadly is because once the happily married newlyweds realized that what they thought it was, which like us all, was anything but the true meaning, they inevitably call it quits, only to move on to the next relationship with the same question at hand. Nowhere is this scenario played out more than within Christ's own earthly body, the Church! There are more divorces today within the Body of Christ than there are reported within the secular world. The reasons are numerous, some even downright ignorant.
How many Pastor's do we hear talk about how God wants us to be happy which, without the proper clarification and teaching of exactly what that means, is translated into, "well my husband (or wife) just doesn't satisfy me anymore, or just doesn't understand me; surely God wants me to be happy so He won't mind if I get a divorce". It's amazing how we can twist God's words so that they suit what it is we need and not Him! Did you ever stop to think that perhaps God is not so much concerned with your happiness as He is with your soul? Do you think that perhaps that was what Paul was referring to when he was left in prison?
What is just as sad, especially within the body of Christ, is the ignorance to the fact that this very question has been answered since the dawn of time; we've just never paid any attention to it. It was more because of our own disbelief or confusion about the very author himself, rather than the true answer that has lain before us.
Or, in the case of The Church, its the lack of desire to truly seek out the answers to the questions we have, in part, because we know deep down inside the answer we find will probably not be the one we want in the flesh.
You see we have all heard, and on one occasion or another since our youth, either spoken of, or seen, some kind of a scenario play out that told us of this ever-elusive "GOD". But yet we could not seem to lay our finger on exactly who, or what, this entity was. So if we didn't really have a true sense of who He might be, we weren't about to seek out an answer from what we didn't understand, let alone believe that He had the answer to what has been one of man's most difficult questions:
What is true love?
And yet the answer has lain before us, like a treasure waiting to be discovered if but one would believe in treasure maps. Yes, God has given us that treasure map but we have either read it and only wanted to believe those sections that would pertain to our life, or, pass it off as some far fetched story of some great imaginations handed down through the years. This great treasure map ladies and gentlemen is called the Bible.
We read all about great love relationships in the Old Testament like Abraham and Sarah or Jacob and Rachel and yet not one of these relationships faired any better than those today. There was adultery, lust and just as much deceitfulness as any marriage today. Why?
Simply because they, just like us have failed to look to the very creator, who is the very essence, the presence, the magnifier, the supplier, the giver, the river, the emancipation of, the declaration of and the final authority of love Himself, the Lord Jesus Christ, for their answer.
God, our Father, our creator desires us to have the very thing He created us for, an intimate relationship. He knew that sin had not only separated man from Himself but that there was a lack of any true love within the human race. Let's face it; animal sacrifices but were a temporal bridge at best. Man was simply inept to grasp a covenant covered by the blood of an animal. So our Father decided to send His one and only Son to not only be a bridge between us, to be the ultimate and final sacrifice, to be a new covenant, but that prayerfully, lovingly, by sacrificing His only and only begotten Son, that perhaps finally man would see just how much the Father truly loved us. Perhaps man would finally understand what true love really was supposed to look like! Perhaps He could teach us the true meaning of love, by being love itself.
He knew that if He could somehow get us to understand the true love that He had for us, by being the perfect example of love that perhaps we would begin to share His love for us with one another.
So God gave us His one and only Son, Jesus Christ.
This is how God expressed His love for us!
We expressed ours how? By crucifying Him!
Yes, that's our love!
So our Creator, the ever patient, ever slow to anger Father that He is, through the power of The Holy Spirit, instilled upon man the answer and had him write it down, the ultimate description of true love. Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians, inscribed to us the perfect description of what the perfect love truly looks and acts like. Never before, nor since, has there been a greater description of what true love really is then those eloquent words written in 1 Corinthians 13:
(1) Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels but have not love, I have become but a resounding gong or a clanging symbol. (2) And though I have the gift of prophecy to understand all mysteries and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. (3) And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I present my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. (4) Love suffers long and is kind. Love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;(5) does not behave rudely, does not seek it's own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;(6) does not rejoice in inequity, but rejoices in the truth;(7) bears all thing, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (8) Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail, whether there are tongues they shall cease, whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. (9) For we know in part and we prophesy in part. (10) But when that which is perfect has come, than that which is in part will be done away. (11) When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I thought as a child, I understood as a child, But when I became a man I put away childish things. (12) For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. For now I know in part, but then I shall be known just as I also am known. (13) And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; BUT THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE. (Capitalization is mine)
Now guys you will notice in verse 8 it does not say that love may fail, or that it can fail, or even that it is going to fail, NO, God's word says that LOVE NEVER FAILS!!!
He says it bears all, believes all, hopes all, and endures all. Not, well my lying eyes saw her talking with that guy at the store and I wouldn't doubt she probably has something going on. No, when God says to believe all, He doesn't mean believe all the bad you can about your spouse, but instead to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Not to listen to the little doubts that Satan likes to plant in our minds, but instead to believe in the covenant that you both swore your love on and too. To endure all those nagging questions that will be thrown at you and instead look to Him for strength in your time of weakness. To bear all the temptations that you two will be put through in Satan's attempt to destroy that, which God has brought together. Its so funny to hear how many men and women make the statement that when they get married they will settle down, as though somehow a written document or the mere fact that they made a declaration of, "I do", will somehow make them invulnerable to the temptations of the flesh. As though Satan is going to go," "Oh well they're married now I guess I have to leave them alone!" Marriage my friends is the foundation of the Kingdom of God, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Gen 2:24) and no one understands this better than Satan! He will do EVERYTHING HE CAN to destroy it!. 1 Peter 5:8 says; "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour".
If we are to endure it must be as one together, not as separate entities looking out for our own self-interests.
There are more proverbial scriptures based on adultery than any other subject. Do you suppose God is trying to tell us something?
Let's review some of His wisdom:
"To deliver you from the immoral women, from the seductress who flatters with her words, who forsakes the covenant of her God. For her house leads down to death, and her paths to the dead. None who go to her return, nor do they regain the paths of life. Prov 2:16-19
Explanation For The 21st Centurion:
Look guys, my wisdom will keep you from the tramp who messes with your mind by making you think your The Rock. Sleep with her and your life is over, as you know it. You WILL NOT be able to "take-it-back" and the pain you will inflict will last forever. And if you happen to be married to one of those roller-derby babes, you just may not wake up the next morning either!
His wisdom:
"My son, pay attention to my wisdom; Lend your ear to my understanding, that you may preserved discretion, and your lips may keep knowledge, For the immoral woman drip honey and her mouth is smoother than oil; But in the end she is bitter as wormwood. Sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death. Her steps lay hold of hell. Lest you ponder her path of life, Her ways are unstable; you do not know them. Therefore hear me now, my children, and do not depart from the words of my mouth. Remove your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your honor to others and your years to the cruel one; lest aliens be filled with your wealth and your labors go to the house of a foreigner; and you mourn at last. When your flesh and your body are consumed, and say: How I have hated instruction, and my heart despised correction! I have not obeyed the voice of teachers, nor inclined my ear to those who instructed me! Prov 5:1-13
Explanation For The 21st Centurion:
You should have listened to me! Stay away!
His wisdom:
"To keep you from the evil woman, from the flattering tongue of a seductress. Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, nor let her allure you with her eyelids. For by means of a harlot A man is reduced to a crust of bread' and an adulteress will prey upon his precious life. Can a man take fire to his bosom and not be burned? Can one walk on coals and his feet not be seared? So is he who goes into his neighbor's wife: Whoever touches her will not be innocent. Prov 6:24-29
Explanation For The 21st Centurion:
If she winks at you RUN! The beautiful babe next door, forget about it!
His wisdom:
"Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; He who does so destroys his own soul. Wounds and dishonor he will get; and his reproach will not be wiped away, for jealousy is a husband's fury; therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance. He will accept no recompense, nor will he be appeased though you give many gifts". Prov 6:32-35
Explanation For The 21st Centurion:
If you think he's going to "forget about it", your crazier than you think!
His wisdom:
"For at the window of my house I looked through my lattice, and saw among the simple, I perceived among the youths, A young man devoid of understanding, Passing along the street near her corner; And he took the path to her house, In the twilight, in the evening, In the black and dark of night. And there a woman met him, with the attire of a harlot, and a crafty heart. She was loud and rebellious; Her feet would not stay at home. At times she was outside, at times in the open square, Lurking at every corner, So she caught him and kissed him; With an impudent face she said to him: "I have peace offerings with me; Today I have paid my vows. So I came out to meet you, Diligently to seek your face, and I have found you. I have spread my bed with tapestry, colored coverings of Egyptian linen. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill until morning; Let us delight ourselves with love. For my husband is not at home; He has gone on a long journey; He has taken a bag of money with him and will come home on the appointed day." With her enticing speech she caused him to yield, with her flattering lips she seduced him. Immediately he went after her as an ox goes to slaughter, Or as a fool to the correction of the stocks, till an arrow struck his liver. As a bird hastens to the snare, He did not know it would cost him his life". Prov 7:6-23
Explanation For The 21st Centurion:
It's amazing how many people think they can get away with an affair! If the devil allowed you to get away with it his LIE would not be working. He MUST have the affair found out in order for the lie to work, thus breaking up the marriage.
Just because she says he isn't around doesn't mean it's true! Adultery is not worth your life, his life, your wife's or your children! That's why God says FLEE!
FLEE from the woman who flatters you, after all, face it bud, you aren't THAT HOT!
So you think you can handle a little flattery and batting of the eyes! Listen to what The Father says:
Now therefore, Listen to me, my children; Pay attention to the words of my mouth; Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways. Do not stray into her paths: For she has cast down many wounded. And all who were slain by her were strong men. (Boldness mine) Her house is the way to hell, Descending to the chambers of death. Prov 7:24-27
There are other words of wisdom that deal with adultery that you can find in the following Proverbs: 9:13-18, 11:6, 17:19, 22:14 23:27-28, 28:10, and 28:18
Bottom-line guys is adultery is spiritually, morally, and ethically wrong and there has never been ANY GOOD that has ever derived from it.
Remember: Ignorance Is: The lack of knowledge in a particular area or subject.
Stupidity is: Having that knowledge and refusing to use it.
It's OKAY to be ignorant at first, this is what education or knowledge is used for, to erase it. It is NOT OK to be willfully stupid!
To love the wife that God has given you becomes even easier when we seek His ways in doing so:
In Ephesians 5:25 we read:
Husbands love your wives as Christ so loved the church. (italics mine)
Guys, this little two-letter word, AS, is the most defining statement in the Bible in how God expects you to love your wife. How did Christ love the church? He DIED for it. Now I know the first place your going to go is, "well I'd die for my wife". Sorry Guys, it's not that kind of death. Of course if something came against your wife we wouldn't think twice about laying down our life to protect her (at least I hope so guys or we need to talk [??]), no, the death I'm talking about is can you die to yourself on a daily basis? Can you wake up in the morning and instead of thinking about how you are doing; think about her and what can you do on this particular day to make her day brighter.
I know that this can be a tall order and one that seems impossible to fill at times, but the great news is that after God told us how we are supposed to love, He also gave us the biblical roadmap leading us to the strength we will need;
In Ephesians 6:10-17 He says;
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.
Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
STAND, therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness.
And having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Romancing On The Rockby Kelly Fallis Copyright © 2010 by Rev. Kelly Fallis. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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