About two thousand years ago, J. C. De Lord came to Earth to perform a miracle so the "saints" would continue to believe in him. But too much time has passed since his last visit. Saddened by the thought that his disciples have forgotten him, J. C. decides to make a guest appearance as a player at Super Bowl XLIV. With kickoff only an hour away, J. C. enters the New Orleans Saints' locker room at Sun Life Stadium ready to play some football. With the air filled with eager anticipation, it is a picture-perfect evening for the Saints to battle their worthy opponent, the devilish Virginia Villains. Chosen to play quarterback in the second half of the game, J. C. has one big problem - he has never played football. With Apostles and Saints as his teammates, J. C. and Coach Fumble Pitts somehow manage to pull off a few miraculous plays that include walking on water, speaking in tongues, and a Hail Mary pass like no other. ALL SAINTS PLAY is a humorous tale filled with delightful and despicable characters who prove that sometimes all a football team needs to win is a miraculous intervention.
ALL SAINTS PLAY
By R. J. AntanaitisiUniverse, Inc.
Copyright © 2011 R. J. Antanaitis
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4620-3161-0 Contents
Author's Note.........................................................................ixPrologue..............................................................................xiRecently..............................................................................1J.C. Arrives at Sun Life Stadium......................................................3Some of the Saints: Peter, Thomas, and Jude...........................................6Early January: Way Down South in New Orleans..........................................14Two Quarterbacks Bite the Dust and Breakfast with Vince and Guido.....................20Back at Sun Life Stadium and the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly..........................23J. C. and the Hot Dog.................................................................29What Is a Quarterback?................................................................33The Game and a Kidnapping.............................................................34Zoomer Becomes a Sandwich.............................................................40The Reporter, a Prediction, and Motherly Advice.......................................45The Locker Room.......................................................................49Sons of Thunder and a Bolt of Lightning...............................................62The Second Half.......................................................................65The Crowd Is Buzzing!.................................................................69The Traitor and Speaking in Tongues...................................................73Hail Mary.............................................................................78Defense and the Great Flood!..........................................................81Another Sneak.........................................................................87The Saints Kick Off Again.............................................................92The Two-Minute Warning................................................................96The Eagle Soars!......................................................................99Epilogue..............................................................................105Time-Outs.............................................................................111
Chapter One
Recently
J. C. sat down by himself, and his gaze immediately affixed upon a nearby cloud that seemed incredibly close. The cloud swirled lazily and aimlessly. J. C. thought, What a heavenly view this is.
J. C. and his father had decided that a very long time had elapsed since his last visit. It seemed like eons. There were many reasons to visit and many reasons not to visit. They debated whether J. C. should visit a couple of sheepherders in a remote village in Tibet or someone named Bruno in the Bronx. Maybe he should attend a significant event like the final baseball game in the World Series in late October. J. C.'s father finally concluded that J. C. should make a guest appearance as a player at the next Super Bowl, which had already been scheduled for early February in Miami, Florida. It would be Super Bowl XLIV. J. C. shrugged his shoulders and agreed that Super Bowl Sunday would be acceptable to him.
One day, during another lengthy conversation with his father, J. C. offered, "Some people will probably question why I would appear at a football game instead of being there for an earthquake, tornado, or hurricane. It's too bad that people don't understand that the almighty powers do not sit around and concoct natural disasters or bus, train, or aircraft accidents. There will be occasions when a cat falls out of a tree and does not land on its feet, and there will be times when a polar bear will fall through a chunk of ice and drown. Throughout the universe, the weather and atmospheric conditions change periodically. As a result, Mother Nature decides whether people are going to have a sunny day, a cloudy day, or another type of day altogether." J. C. focused on his two scarred palms and added, "Things happen in life, and I am well aware of this fact, as I experienced it during my human existence." J. C.'s father reminded him that if he returned to Earth, anything could happen.
J. C. walked away from his father and sat by himself. As far as he could remember, he had always been able to make quick and incisive decisions. J. C. occasionally spoke out loud when there was no one else around who could hear him. He exclaimed, "I'm going to the Super Bowl! There will be thousands of people there, and the game will be watched by millions of people all over the world." Then he suddenly shouted, "Are you ready for some football?" He responded calmly, "Yes, I am." He consistently kept himself in good shape, so there would be no need to work out or lift weights or run long distances. He was ready to go. He was ready to play. He thought about how football teams work extremely hard for many months to earn a victory. He also thought there would be no need for any pomp or circumstance when he showed up for the game. The only thing his team would have to do would be to score one more point than the other team.
Without much further thought, he determined the game should be an exciting one. It would not be a game which had a final score of ninety to zero. J. C. stood up abruptly and declared, "I have to go make plans for Miami! I'm going to the Super Bowl!" He tugged slightly on his right earlobe with his thumb and index finger. The nearby clouds became agitated, almost as if they were initiating plans of their own as they whirled off in a purposeful direction.
J.C. Arrives at Sun Life Stadium
J. C. De Lord, dressed in a plain T-shirt and faded blue jeans, stood with his arms folded on the sidewalk near an intersection just a few hundred yards from Sun Life Stadium (the home of the Miami Dolphins football team). J. C. said he only had three words for me, "Bubba, we're here." He had never played football before, but he was focused on his imminent transformation into a professional football player. J. C. had to make his way into the locker room to suit up for the game. At first glance, it appeared that J.C De Lord was nondescript. Closer scrutiny revealed he was about six feet one, weighed approximately 190 pounds, and possessed an athletic physique. He had piercing light-blue eyes, dark-brown hair, and a short, well-kempt beard that was about half a shade lighter than the hair on top of his head. If you looked closely, there were long- healed scars on the palms of his hands, the tops of his feet, and the upper part of his forehead. Most women would consider him fairly attractive.
The kickoff for Super Bowl XLIV was about an hour away. It had been a dark and stormy afternoon, but this was not unusual weather for Miami, Florida, in early February.
There were thousands of people milling about. It was as if Sun Life Stadium was the beehive and all the people were the bees. There was incessant buzzing coupled with perpetual motion both in and around the "hive." Ticket scalpers were trying to sell tickets at prices so high that most people would have to take out a second mortgage to be able to buy them. It was late afternoon, and J. C. gazed up toward the heavens and spoke softly to himself, "The weather should really be better than this. Mother always said if you don't like the way something is, then fix it." He looked up, and the clouds twirled and shifted and began to drift off into the distance. Only a few minutes elapsed before bursting rays of sunshine brightened the sky and a full, resplendent rainbow appeared. From where J. C. stood, the stadium was perfectly centered at the bottom of the rainbow, and the structure gleamed and sparkled like a colorful kaleidoscope.
To be more specific, it was about five o'clock on a Sunday afternoon in early February. As the storm front dissipated, the air was filled with eager anticipation that it would, in fact, turn out to be a picture-perfect evening for Super Bowl XLIV. The football field remained wet and slippery from the earlier rainfall, and it was still windy enough to be slightly bothersome. It was still beautiful. As some people put it, Miami in February is "God's country," and the way the afternoon was turning out was proving them right.
During the past several weeks, it seemed that every newspaper and sporting magazine in the world had been saturated with articles and stories explaining how the football season, which began in September 2009, had already turned into a miraculous one for the New Orleans Saints football team. After the city of New Orleans battled courageously with Hurricane Katrina during the fall of 2005, the Saints' recent performance was embraced by old and new fans alike. After losing their first two games of the season, they marched on audaciously to win twelve consecutive games. Then they suddenly managed to lose their last two regular season games, proving that they were mere mortals after all. The Saints' overall record of twelve wins and four losses was the best in the NFC, and it earned them a bye—essentially a week off—in the first round of the playoffs.
During the second week of playoff games, the Saints surged to a 14–0 halftime lead over the Dallas Cowboys and then managed to hold on for a hard-fought 17–13 victory. In their next game, the Saints found themselves trailing the Chicago Bears by a score of 27–14 at the end of the third quarter. To make a long story short, a seventy-three-yard return of a blocked punt and a forty-seven-yard touchdown pass with only twenty-four seconds left on the game clock enabled the Saints to overcome the thirteen point deficit and win the game with a score of 28–27.
This took the Saints to exactly where they wanted to be. They found themselves on their way to the Super Bowl for the very first time in the franchise's history. Was it remotely possible that the Saints could win this game of all games for themselves, for the National Football League, for the city of New Orleans, and for all of their faithful and faithless fans? In a way, the Saints had won the holy wars by being victorious in their first two playoff games. Now it was time for their greatest battle ever!
Some of the Saints: Peter, Thomas, and Jude
Three of the Saints' most important players were Peter Rockport, the fullback, Thomas Allmen, a wide receiver, and Jude Thadley, a halfback. Jude was a friendly guy, and he was always in good spirits. He grew up on a cattle farm in Iowa with so many brothers and sisters that it was almost impossible to account for them all. For some reason, his mother seemed to have difficulty remembering all of their names. She would call out for Billy when she really wanted Bobby. Jude's specialty on the farm was baling hay. As a young teenager, he acquired the nickname "Hay Jude," and it stuck with him for the rest of his life. If he was given the football and had just a little bit of room, he would make the best of it and gain some yardage. Every single time he ran with the ball, the crowd would chant "Hay Jude," and it always sounded as if the crowd were singing. Over time, Jude gained a reputation for making impossible catches and for gaining positive yardage, especially in desperate situations. He had one of the best pickup lines ever, and only he could use it. He would approach a pretty girl and say, "Hay, I'm your man."
The unquestionable foundation of the team was Peter "Rocky" Rockport. Rocky was a stalwart. You could always hear Rocky saying, "You can count on me, count on it, and count me in." Rocky grew up in a small Texas town with two younger siblings, a brother and a sister. He lived in a nice house and had a perfect family. When he was fourteen years old, his father died unexpectedly. Even though there was a sizeable life insurance policy, Rocky immediately assumed the role of "man of the house." He possessed an innate mechanical ability. He was born to nurture and take care of others. He assumed total responsibility for mowing the lawn and all other household chores, both inside and out. He took good care of his mother, brother, and sister. The day he turned sixteen, he sought and found employment at both the local hardware store and the supermarket. He immediately began to work forty to fifty hours per week, but he still attained excellent grades and was on the high school wrestling team and the football team, where he played fullback. If there was a critical play and the team needed a yard, they could count on Rocky to gain two yards or more. He was reliable, dependable, conscientious, and he was an Eagle Scout. Rocky eventually went to an Ivy League university with both academic and athletic scholarships, and he graduated magna cum laude. It seemed like a relatively high percentage of Rocky's classmates had relatives who had previously attended Ivy League schools. Rocky didn't, and his graduation day brought great joy to his mother.
Rocky was the Saints' fullback, and he wore the number twenty-nine on his jersey. The summer before the 2009–10 season, he was signed by the Saints after playing in the Canadian Football League. Rocky was a brute, at six feet four and 240 pounds. He was a difficult runner to tackle despite the fact that he was bowlegged. He always joked that God had bent his legs "just right," and this allowed him to maintain extremely good balance. Whenever Rocky ran with the football, he ran just one way, directly downfield toward the goal line. Shortly after being signed by the Saints, he met several of the other players, including Thomas Allmen.
Thomas Allmen was raised in Indiana by a stay-at-home mom and a father who worked as a laborer in a nearby factory. Thomas always had a special relationship with his sister, Faith. He teased her all the time, but he loved her. His parents loved them both but were not demonstrative with their love. There always seemed to be enough food on the table, but there was never much money left for nonnecessities. He worked hard in school. Sometimes he achieved very good grades, As and Bs, and sometimes he ended up with Cs and Ds. The grade he got usually depended upon how much he liked the subject matter or the teacher. And even though he worked hard, he was always doubtful that he could write a paper or do well on a test. He was also doubtful about relationships with other people and about his athletic capabilities. He was always a pessimistic guy. This characteristic was embedded into his personality, despite the fact that he had so many things going for him. He doubted that anything would ever work or come out well in the end. Thomas earned a football scholarship to a prominent college, where he was a starter for all four years, and he matriculated with a degree in business administration.
Thomas was a man who had very little faith in almost anything he did or thought about. Every day of the year, he woke up and said, "I doubt that today will be a good one." He played the position of wide receiver for the Saints, and he was absolutely convinced that his team could never win the Super Bowl. Although he was a person of "little faith," he was the Saint who was most obsessed with turning the fortunes of the team around. Every single day he fantasized about the New Orleans Saints winning the Super Bowl. He also dedicated time every day to deep meditation and prayers for the Saints to be successful. He couldn't really explain why he did this. He finally concluded that he must be possessed by either a good spirit or an evil spirit. Thomas had been a Saint for several years, and he thought constantly about what he or his teammates could do to make the Saints a better team. He thought of new and innovative offensive plays and shared them with the team's offensive coordinator, who was actually receptive to some of his suggestions.
Thomas was well aware that his team was one of only a few that had never yet been to a Super Bowl. During the past three seasons, it had become painfully obvious to Thomas that the Saints would not get to the Super Bowl and that the only way he would see the game would be to watch it on television. This year finally provided a glimmer of hope to his dreams and aspirations. After the team reeled off several consecutive victories, Thomas began to believe the Saints could win it all this season. To Thomas, this would be a feat bordering on the miraculous, as he routinely thought that nothing good could ever happen in his life.
Thomas was blondish with a light complexion. He was six feet one and 210 pounds. He was a wide receiver and wore a jersey with the number three on it. He was a veteran; this was his third year with the Saints. Although he could be social in a crowd, he was generally a loner. He was a thinker. He loved to read books and do crossword puzzles. Whenever he ran with a football, he ran with a darting motion, here and there and everywhere. He went to the left, he went to the right, and then he went back to the left. He was fast, tricky, and elusive. He knew what he wanted to do, but at the same time, he often didn't know how he wanted to do it. He constantly changed his mind. He couldn't decide what he wanted for lunch. Thank God he had his Faith, his sister, to help him buy clothes, furniture, and accessories for his apartment. In fact, she often helped Thomas make final decisions, which on some days even included the selection of a sandwich.
Faith was one of life's faithful fans. She was an avid fan of the New Orleans Saints. One reason for this was that her twin brother, Thomas, played on the team. Another reason was that she worked at a casino in Biloxi, Mississippi, for a couple of years following her graduation from college. It was Faith's perception that a large percentage of the people who lived in Mississippi rooted for the Saints. She understood that you actually had to live there for at least a year before you could even come close to being able to pronounce the word Biloxi correctly. Faith always acknowledged that it was difficult to do, but she believed it should sound something like "Baluxxi" or "Bluxxi." As soon as she came closer to the proper pronunciation, the locals began to embrace and befriend her. During her time in Mississippi, she had developed a deep love for the Saints. She came to understand that it is challenging for a person to faithfully follow a sports team that has not played well historically and does not have a respectable win-loss record. She understood that you somehow have to dig down deep into your heart and soul to continue to follow and support a team like the Saints. Despite the fact that she had witnessed many agonizing defeats, she continued to believe that things could only get better. She was always convinced that the team would win its next game. Even though she didn't see positive results, she continued to believe. There are so many fans throughout the world that faithfully support losing teams for decades. If asked, a lot of these fans would say their team will probably lose the next game, but they somehow concurrently believe in the deepest recesses of their souls that their team will definitely win the next game. All sports fans are well aware that there is always next year.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from ALL SAINTS PLAYby R. J. Antanaitis Copyright © 2011 by R. J. Antanaitis. Excerpted by permission of iUniverse, Inc.. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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