How to Score a Date with Your Potential Employer
By Yolanda M. OwensiUniverse, Inc.
Copyright © 2010 Yolanda M. Owens
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4502-7118-9Contents
Preface.....................................................................Page vChapter 1 Welcome to the Dating Game.......................................Page 1Chapter 2 Living Single—Self-Awareness...............................Page 5Chapter 3 The Dating Profile—Résumés.......................Page 18Chapter 4 The Bar Scene Upgrade—Networking...........................Page 46Chapter 5 The Blind Date—Interviewing................................Page 64Chapter 6 The Flowers and the Trees........................................Page 91References..................................................................Page 93
Chapter One
Welcome to the Dating Game The Birds and the Bees
There are a lot of similarities between looking for a job and dating, as you put yourself out there for someone to notice you, accept you, and ultimately date/interview/hire you. There's a getting-to-know-you stage, a stage of evaluating whether you want a second date, and a stage of deciding whether you want a long-term relationship. And like dating, there are some rules of engagement. So before you're released into the world of job seeking, I'm going to exercise my parental obligation to walk you through the birds and bees of employer dating.
Patience is a virtue. Good relationships take time to develop, so enjoy the dating process. You may experience long-distance relationships, employers who take their time in calling you back or in making decisions on where they want the relationship to go. A relationship with an employer may fizzle after months of dating, or you may find yourself involved with an all-talk and no-action player. In the midst of it all, build your network, learn from your mistakes, and use the stories for small talk at your next function. The right opportunity will come, and your patience will be virtuously rewarded.
One difference between personal relationships and relationships with an employer is that the relationship is not monogamous. In other words, it's okay to date multiple employers at once before finding "the one." A matter of fact, it's encouraged! So take this one opportunity in life to spread yourself around and get to know as many employers as possible before landing your first professional relationship.
It's okay to flirt in the relationship. There's no better feeling than having multiple employers interested in you. It's a stroke to your ego and validates your marketability. So take advantage of the situation if it happens to you. The rule of thumb in the professional world is that it's best to have another job before leaving your current one. So make sure you don't burn any bridges with the other employers you "dated" during your job search. Remain in the friend zone and keep the lines of communication open, because you never know when someone from the friend zone may think of you for a new opportunity. Also, employers are notorious bird-doggers. In other words, they like going after candidates who are already taken and performing well, so remember this as you progress through your career.
You will be expected to put out. Employers will be investing a great deal of time, money, and resources to recruit you (FYI, employers do more to recruit fresh college grads than average employees), so they're expecting you to put out for them in your performance, attitude, and level of professionalism. Be prepared for the interview, arrive on time for any meetings or events planned for you, and take the time to shake hands and kiss babies by meeting with and greeting individuals during the interviews and corresponding events.
Be an ethically transparent cheater. Honesty and candor are attractive characteristics in any dating circle. Let employers know you're interviewing with other companies and exploring other opportunities. If you have other offers on the table, let them know that and your deadline dates. Employers will appreciate your honesty and do what they can to be sensitive to your other deadlines.
Never give ultimatums! This is the kiss of death in any relationship—especially in a new relationship where you have little experience. Keep in mind that you're lobbying for your first job with a plethora of college grads swimming in the same competition pool. So be careful not to beat your chest and demand a decision from an employer to adhere to your timelines and requests. Offers can be easily rescinded and given to a more gracious (and patient) candidate.
Hang with people who are already in a relationship. Contacts who are already employed are in a better position to give you access to their inner circles—their employers! Keep in contact with friends who have already graduated and may be able to refer you and keep you abreast of openings in their companies. Sorry, but your single friends are your competition. But keep them around as your support group; you can share bad date stories and learn from each other's mistakes.
You will need to kiss a lot of frogs before finding your castle. As you cruise the employer dating circle, you may find that opposites do not attract, chemistry is nonexistent, or personalities don't mesh before finding the employer that makes you exhale and gives you the warm fuzzies. Until then, be cognizant of the fact that you may get your feelings hurt and be disappointed. But the feeling of finding the right employer will make the warts you accumulated your badges of honor.
So what's the moral of the birds and bees? The long and the short of it is that relationships, whether they be personal or professional, take time, effort, and a whole lot of trial and error. It's a continuous learning experience for you, the employers you're interviewing with, and those you meet along the way. Take the time to share and reflect on your dating course, absorb and borrow advice (and anecdotes) from others, and watch yourself and your aspirations blossom. Keep in mind that opportunities stem from shared experiences. So the more experiences you have, the more aware you are of your role in those experiences, and the more you'll have to contribute to your pool of opportunities.
Chapter Two
Living Single Self-Awareness
The road to finding your ideal employer can be a lonely one. However, if you're looking for a happy ending to your journey, you'll need to start the first leg of your trip flying solo. And as with many aspects of life, you need to prove yourself before moving up. Same goes with your job search. You need to know yourself before you can successfully achieve your goals. So don't be afraid to travel the road untaken or do a little self-exploration on your way to self-awareness. You'll have plenty of time for misery-loves-company further down the path. But if you're self aware, you'll be leading the misery support group instead of renewing your membership.
So what is self-awareness? You see, self-awareness, in the professional sense, is simply discovering your talents (what do you want to do?) and selecting a position/profession where you can utilize those talents in a work environment that's right for you (what's your type?). In other words, you need to marry the realization of what you're good, bad, and mediocre at with what you want, don't want, and are willing to compromise on.
Sounds like a simple enough equation, right? Well, as with any formula, it takes a lot of trial and error before you can get it right. You're going to be moving from the real world while frequenting the cutthroat world of employer dating. And with all of these worlds colliding, you'll need the wherewithal to manage the fallout and keep your composure. So in order to prepare for your transition, you need to date yourself.
You see, the whole concept of dating is taking the time to know someone better. So dating yourself is taking some alone time in order to get to know the real you—better. Dating yourself is also a surefire way to make certain you're equipped and ready to enter into a relationship. When you know the "real" you, you're less likely to cosign on opportunities that may not be right for you.
Understanding What You Bring to the Relationship
In my experience, the biggest dating obstacle is realizing your self-worth and what you bring to the relationship. It sounds hokey, but this is where your power lies. If you know your strengths, weaknesses, talents, shortcomings, and passions, you'll be able to sell yourself and get what you want.
Picture it ... It was my senior year; I'd declared my major as indecisiveness after changing it four times. My parents swore that I was going to be the oldest living senior on an AARP scholarship because I had just announced that I didn't want to work in my major—elementary education. So now that I'd decided that being a full-time teacher was a better means of birth control than a career aspiration, I had to make some serious choices: delay graduating on time by taking on another major, or work with the degree and experience I had and try to land a job in the sexy world of business. I chose the latter, revamped my résumé, and hit the interview trail. I realized that teaching had a lot of transferable skills that anyone in the business world would love to have in a person on their team.
You see, you have to be part-thespian to be a teacher. If you can keep the attention and organization of thirty eight-year-olds all day every day, then you can pretty much rule the world. So I used this to my advantage in my business interviews and sold my ability to adapt content to my audience, emphasized my communication and presentations skills, and touted my ability to capture and hold the attention of just about anyone, honed through my teaching experiences. Add to that all of the office experience I had racked up through the on-campus jobs, summer internships, and business courses I had accumulated while moving through my revolving door of majors, and companies were beating a path to my door to find out about my unconventionalism. I took lemons and branded myself as a lemonade connoisseur. But I wouldn't have been able to accomplish any of it without self-awareness or experience.
So what's the moral of this story?
Identify your marketable skills and abilities. Given that you're a college student, your work experience is going to be limited. You'll need to draw on your other life experiences—personal, academic, professional, volunteer, and so on—to show what you're made of. Ask yourself, what do you do in your spare time? What do your friends ask your advice for? What are your hobbies? What are you good at? (Keep in mind that you don't have to like doing it.) What classes did you excel in? (They don't have to be related to your major.) You can find skills in your passions that can translate into a number of valuable assets that will make you desirable to employers and set you apart from the competition. So spend some time with yourself and ask others (e.g., professors, classmates, managers, parents, family members) what they think you're good at. You may be surprised at the hidden talents you have and how those talents can translate into a branding tool in your job search. You'll also need to know what job-related skills you bring to the table and how to convey them in a way that makes you stand out. Are you good with people, information, data, ideas, or concepts? Are you self-sufficient, resourceful, creative, easily adaptable, energetic, and ambitious? What makes you good at these things, and how have you made improvements to the way you've done them? Which of these areas are you the strongest in (again, you don't necessarily have to like something to be good at it), and which do you enjoying doing most? Answering these questions will help you market the true you and stand apart from the competition. It will also help you highlight your strengths when composing your dating profile (aka résumé) and demonstrate your maturity. And you know what a sexy quality maturity is in the dating game. Get experience! Most employers want to see some sort of work-related experience achieved during your college career because if they hire you, they'll be looking for you to put out, so to speak. Whether paid, volunteer, glamorous, or gritty, work experience shows employers you're well-rounded and able to manage your time. And it's also a good way to figure out whether you prefer managing projects or asking, "Do you want fries with that?" As I mentioned previously, after completing my student teaching, I realized that teaching wasn't what I wanted to do when I grew up. But I took the skills I learned from the experience and made my way toward the sandbox I really wanted to play in. So if your schedule permits, find a way to gain some experience in the fields you're interested in through these opportunities: * Internships * Summer Jobs * On-campus * Self- Jobs Employed Jobs * Temp * Volunteer Agencies Work * Special * Campus Projects Activities * Extra- * Research curricular projects Leadership positions
Whether you realize it or not, as a college student, you have a lot to offer employers. You'll find that the academic world is roughly about five years ahead of the business world in terms of technology. Employers are hungry for these skill sets but don't necessarily have the budgets to hire high-priced consultants to manage the market research, development, implementation, and integration needed. This is where you come in. Market yourself as a part-time student consultant who can manage these types of projects at a cost that's friendlier to their bottom line and with a fresh, untainted perspective. You can build a company Web site, do some benchmarking and financial modeling, write lesson plans, or conduct market research, for example. Not only will you gain valuable experience and insight into the organization, but you'll also get paid for your perspectives, be able to showcase your skills, and build some great contacts in the process.
Okay, now that I've given you all this advice on the types of experience you need to obtain, I'm sure you're asking yourself, where do I find the jobs that will supply them? Well, the following are a few Web sites to get you started.
Where to search for Experience
* SNAGAJOB.COM (summer jobs, hourly employment)
* Collegerecruiter.com (internships, full-time positions)
* Jobs.campusgrotto.com (full-time positions and career tips)
* Vault.com (internships, full-time positions, salary information, employer research)
* Job-hunt.org (internships, full-time positions, salary information, employer research and career tips for college students)
* AFTERCOLLEGE.COM (career advice, financial tips)
* Monstertrak.com (entry-level positions, internships, diversity leadership opportunities)
This is not an exhaustive list by any means. This list is merely intended to be a starting point to get you moving in the right direction and begin building your job-search network. Use these sites to start and do some additional research to expand your network of connections. For more information, check out the references section at the end of the book.
Make Yourself Uncomfortable!
Learning about yourself can be exciting and intriguing. It can also be intimidating and make you a little uncomfortable. In my opinion, making yourself uncomfortable is the most important part of self-awareness. It is part of becoming more mature, responsible, and marketable. Now I'm not suggesting that you air your dirty laundry on YouTube or list your top ten embarrassing moments on your Facebook profile. What I am suggesting is that you explore and try things you normally wouldn't do to get a better sense of what you like, what you don't like, what you're willing to compromise, and what you're good, mediocre, and just plain bad at. And as a college student, you're at your prime to make yourself uncomfortable and become more self-aware. A matter of fact, you're at a four-year clinic of self-awareness with a $40,000-a-year co-pay at your current college/university. So get your student loans' worth out of the situation and make it worth your while.
If your schedule and student loans permit, take a course or elective in a subject that interests you and has absolutely nothing to do with your major or core requirements. It can be country line dancing, underwater basket weaving, music or art appreciation, cooking, wine tasting, bookkeeping—you get the picture. The key is to do something you haven't done before that will help you achieve these results:
Build your skill Uncover a Connect you with sets and passion or people outside of marketable skills talent your normal circle
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Excerpted from How to Score a Date with Your Potential Employerby Yolanda M. Owens Copyright © 2010 by Yolanda M. Owens. Excerpted by permission of iUniverse, Inc.. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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