Embracing Your Sensitive Soul

"Never apologise for being sensitive or emotional. Let this be a sign that you have a big heart and aren't afraid to let others see it. Showing your emotions is a sign of strength." Brigitte Nicole

You are a unique individual made up of many parts. Your innate sensitivity is an integral part of who you are as a person. You cannot change it. It is part of what makes you you. You can either choose to embrace it or you can choose to resist it. Fighting your sensitive nature will consume much valuable energy and create endless inner conflict for you. It will also lower your self-esteem in the process. When you reject, repress or deny parts of yourself that you dislike or that you view as flawed by refusing to acknowledge them, then you will also lack integrity as a person. That is, you will not be true to yourself which will create constant disharmony within.

It does not matter what others think of you. What matters is what you think of yourself. After all, you're the one you have to live with 100 percent of the time. Just as you will not like and accept everybody you meet for who they are, other people will not always like and accept you for who you are. It is unrealistic to think that you can please everybody all of the time. Knowing this is important in order for you to accept yourself for who you are. When you resist your sensitivity in order to hide your true self from the world, for fear of rejection or whatever, then it will be more challenging for you to manage. However, when you do choose to acknowledge and accept it as an integral part of who you are, it will be easier for you to manage. Doing so will also help you to experience greater levels of inner peace.

So how did you come to be so sensitive? More likely than not, you were born that way. As to what degree, that will vary between individuals. Some of you will be more sensitive than others. It is possible that the sensitive soul has a higher than usual reactive sympathetic nervous system making you more sensitive than most other people to all forms of environmental stimuli. The sympathetic nervous system is responsible for alerting you to any real or perceived danger in order to protect you, whereas the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for calming your nervous system down after the threat has gone, thereby returning you to a state of balance and harmony. Ideally, you will embrace activities that you know will relax your nervous system rather than have it remain in a state of constant arousal. Alternatively, you may have inherited your sensitive nature from your family or you were born with a sensitive soul in order to bring healing, peace, compassion and understanding to the world.

As a child, being sensitive may have been embraced by those around you or it may have been squashed as it was considered unacceptable. If the latter, it will most likely take a little longer for you to embrace being sensitive as an adult. You may also find that your level of sensitivity will increase with age, for whatever reason, as has been my experience. Whether this increase is the result of an accumulation of unresolved emotional baggage, due to a reduction in tolerance or naturally occurs, it is something to be aware of.

So what attributes determine that you are a sensitive soul? If you find yourself identifying with most of the following traits, then you can consider yourself to be a sensitive soul.

Chances are, if you are still reading this book, you have identified with being a sensitive soul. Alternatively, you are a therapist who seeks to understand in order to help your clients, or you know someone close to you that displays these attributes. You may, however, view some of the previous attributes as negative, but on the flip side, there are also many positive qualities that the sensitive soul possesses.

Hopefully, you can now see that you have many positive qualities in which to share with the world; you are not such a flawed person after all. There is nothing wrong with you; you do not need fixing. Just like everybody else, you too, have strengths and weaknesses, perceived or otherwise. And no, you are not perfect, but neither is anybody else. Besides, what you may view as a weakness can always be worked on to lessen its impact on your daily life.

In hindsight, what you may perceive to be a weakness can often turn out to be your greatest strength in disguise. In the overall scheme of things, there could be far worse traits that you could possess. You may at times view being sensitive as a curse. However, your purpose in life is to shine a light on what may sometimes seem like a cruel, dark world by showing compassion and understanding to those who are troubled. Although some aspects of being a sensitive soul may be rather challenging at times, where possible, try and focus on your positive qualities and what you have to offer.

Throughout the following chapters, we will explore various strategies and therapies that may assist you in managing and integrating all aspects of being a sensitive soul. Developing a better understanding of yourself by learning what it means to be sensitive will not only improve your ability to cope but also increase your level of self-acceptance. As energy levels and managing emotions, whether they are yours or others, are the most challenging aspects of being a sensitive soul, they will be the main focus on this particular journey.

Recognising Energy Drains

"May the sun bring you new energy by day, may the moon softly restore you by night, may the rain wash away your worries, may the breeze blow new strength into your being, may you walk gently through the world and know its' beauty all the days of your life." Apache Blessing

By being very sensitive to your environment and having limited reserves of energy, it is vital for your wellbeing to recognise what or who drains your energy. Your energy levels will fluctuate throughout the day, increasing or diminishing depending on what you are doing and who you are spending your time with. The amount of energy you have at any given time will serve to indicate what is good for you and what is impacting on you negatively. Low energy is a signal that changes need to be made. Although everybody is different, for a sensitive soul, the most common factors that can affect your energy levels include people, environment, diet, tragic world events, technology, thoughts and emotions. Other factors may include clutter, perfectionism, procrastination and/or music. It is important to be aware of what you allow in or expose yourself to, as any of these things may zap your energy, leaving you feeling drained.

Your Environment

Over the years, I have become increasingly aware of particular environments that have affected me in a negative way, overwhelmed me, or zapped my energy. Such environments are normally attended by large crowds, are extremely noisy and/or may be negative in nature. These include shopping centres, parties, nightclubs, musical events and sporting events. The impact these and any other environments have on you will differ, depending on the individual. The important thing is that you recognise what environments affect you negatively so that you can avoid them or take action to minimise their effect on you.

Shopping centres are constant sources of stimulation. From the minute you walk in, you are bombarded with a multitude of stimulation in the form of advertising, lights, noise and choices, not to mention people. If you feel that shopping is detrimental to your sense of wellbeing, then you may need to limit the amount of time you spend at the shops or go during the quieter times.

Parties need not necessarily be a source of stress. The majority of parties, on the whole, are joyous celebrations surrounded by mostly happy, positive friends and family. However, sometimes this is not the case. It rather depends on the behaviour of the people attending and the topics of conversation. Also if you consume alcohol, it opens you up to psychic attack in that you will be more likely to absorb the energies of other people. If you do find yourself in an environment that is too noisy or toxic, then it's probably time for you to leave. When choosing whether to attend a party or not and for how long, it may pay to consider such things as the occasion, location, music, alcohol consumption and the people attending.

Many years ago, I attended a particular birthday party. Although no one seemed to notice, it was obvious to me that the host, who I had never met, was still feeling rather raw from the recent loss of her husband, even though he had not treated her well. I did not know many people in attendance but I made an effort to mingle anyway. I soon found that the topics of conversation tended to be extremely negative including such things as drugs, violence and jail. There was also huge amounts of alcohol being consumed by most people. Much to my surprise, it was not long before I found myself sitting outside on the nature strip in tears. Needless to say, it was a very toxic environment and I vowed that I would never allow myself to be in the company of those people again.

Visiting nightclubs and attending musical events, depending on the performer and the location, can be extremely overwhelming due to excessive crowds, lights and noise. Rather than expose yourself to this onslaught, you might be better off listening to music in the comfort of your home.

Sporting events can also be a source of stress depending on the type of sport you wish to attend. For instance, tennis allows you to relax and enjoy as it is not too stimulating as the spectators are required to remain quiet during play. As for sports such as soccer, rugby or football, this is not the case. Spectators of these sports tend to be extremely vocal and can even be rather unruly which can be very unsettling for a sensitive soul.

Television

What you view on television and the movies that you watch can have a major negative impact on your energy levels and emotions, particularly the news and that which is of a violent or tragic nature. However, exposure to violence on television may lead you to believe that the world is a far more dangerous place than it actually is. If this is the case, you will find that it may challenge your overall sense of safety and security. Whilst you need to be aware of your surroundings, you cannot live your life in constant fear.

Watching the news or anything violent can cause you to become depressed. As it is only natural for you to empathise with others in distress, your heart will often go out to all the victims of the world and their families. World tragedies, such as floods, fires, plane crashes and the like, can be the most difficult in which to deal with, particularly when it is televised constantly and everybody around you is talking about what happened. It becomes like a form of mass hysteria which can completely drain your energy and thoroughly depress you for some time after the event. If you do find yourself feeling like this, then I highly recommend Red Clover flower essence which has the ability to lift your mood very quickly in such situations.

When watching television or movies, I suggest that you be mindful of how you feel as a result of what you have viewed. You may find that you need to be more selective with what you watch and choose programs that uplift or inspire you and or make you laugh. It would pay to remind yourself sometimes, that there are a lot of good people and good things that happen in the world if only you take the time to look for them.

Technology

In today's world, we are bombarded by increasing stimulation thanks to technological advances. This includes computers, video games, internet, social media, mobile phones and the numerous other electrical gadgets that are now available. There is so much access to data available nowadays, that you may find yourself constantly becoming overwhelmed with information. Once you reach sensory overload your brain switches off, brain fog sets in and you are no longer able to absorb or integrate any further information. Your energy levels are also likely to take a nosedive as a result. If this is the case, you may need to limit the amount of time you spend on the computer, or if your job requires that you use a computer, as most do nowadays, then try and schedule regular breaks whenever possible. Another thing you may wish to consider, as it can also affect your energy, is the possibility of radiation absorption and the health risks associated with using electrical appliances. The use of an ionizer, plants and or crystals such as black tourmaline or lepidolite can absorb or protect you from such exposure.

The majority of people now have a mobile phone these days. Whilst convenient, it means that you are available to others 24/7. Being on call all the time, or trying to please everybody constantly, can cause you to feel pressured and result in your energy becoming depleted or scattered. If you do not wish to be interrupted for any length of time, you may benefit from switching your mobile phone off or by putting it on silent. Keep in mind too, that whilst talking on the phone you will naturally absorb the energies of your caller. If this is a problem for you, then you need to limit the amount of time spent talking on the phone with negative people, or be a little more selective of topics of conversation, if possible.

Clutter

Your home is your sanctuary, a private retreat from the outside world where you can relax, rejuvenate and be yourself. A home is considered to be a reflection of yourself and its occupants. If your home is cluttered, disorganised, untidy or not well maintained, energy will not flow freely through your house. Clutter can create stagnant, negative energy that may drain your energy physically and mentally. Living in a cluttered environment causes stress in your life. All the things that need doing around the house will play on your mind distracting you from activities you would rather be putting your energy into.

Many of your belongings will also have emotional attachments that tie you to the past. By letting go of any emotional baggage you carry around with you, you are then free to enjoy the present and move forward with your life. Where your thoughts go, energy goes. As they say, out with the old in with the new. De-cluttering your home can be a very therapeutic exercise, as doing so will generate new energy, create mental and physical space as well as help to release any negative emotions. To avoid becoming overwhelmed in the process, I recommend that you concentrate on one area at a time.

For more information on this topic, you may like to read Sacred Space written by Denise Linn.

Perfectionism

Perfectionism, according to the dictionary, means the demand for the highest standard of excellence. What an enormous amount of pressure to place upon oneself! Such pressure to perform will undoubtedly leave a sensitive soul feeling overwhelmed, which will in turn affect your energy levels. Not only will you have high expectations of yourself, you will also constantly strive to live up to the expectations of others. In your endeavour to be perfect, you may actually be trying to fulfil an unconscious need for approval and acceptance by others. This can be the result of a fear of being rejected or criticised by other people. Generally, the sensitive soul does not handle criticism very well as it is often taken personally. However, by striving to be perfect, your internal voice is telling you, "Nothing I do is ever good enough." Thinking like this will only serve to destroy your confidence and self-esteem. You may find it helpful to give your inner critic a name such as Bob, for example. Then whenever Bob speaks up, tell him to shut up or go away. Doing so separates you from your inner critic. You will find that the more you tell him to go away, the less often he will show up.