CHAPTER 1
Resting
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"So the people rested on the seventh day."
Exodus 16: 22-30
I heaved myself out of bed this morning, put both feet on the floor, made coffee and read the paper, took a shower, dressed and wanted to go back to bed. My body says will this be another 'slow day.' But before I fret and fume about not being able to do everything for everyone else all the time, I need to acknowledge the reality of my situation and accept myself exactly as I am today – with an aging body that needs more rest – saying with Katherine de Schlegel, "Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side." The Bible, in several places, says the Lord emphasizes the need for rest as His people. He knows we can't be on the go 24/7, especially in our elderly years. He sets us an example. The least I can do is to return this sentiment by admitting I am what I am and what I am is wonderful. And to take care of this aging body with gratitude.
So when I have a 'slow day' – days I need to catch up on my rest – I will pamper myself with simple things. I might have an extra nap or paint my toenails green instead of red or watch a favorite video. Or I might do nothing, have a quiet time with an extra cup of decaf on the balcony watching the Lord's world unfold. It's a day of renewal. Today I need to be there for myself.
Thank you, Lord, for loving me and through the Holy Spirit and scripture teaching me how to take care of this body you gifted me. Help me learn how to join you in your sustaining rest. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
CHAPTER 2
DGoing Toward the Unknown
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"Answer my when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have given me relief when I was in distress, be gracious to me and hear my prayer."
Psalm 4
As I journey into the elderly years I need more than ever to know that the Lord is with me. The unknown is dark and scary to me. Darkness hides all sorts of potentially harmful things: ferocious animals (health and financial snares), venous snakes (uncaring health care people and loss of ability to care for myself), lurking enemies (changes I don't want). Any could be waiting just out of sight. That's the trouble with the unknown – you just don't know what's waiting there. A couple of wrong moves could bring disaster.
In the words of Psalm 4 I hear words to still my anxious heart. When I ask God to have mercy and hear my prayer, He does.
As a faithful follower of Christ, God will 'take personal care' of me, counseling and guiding me about dangers I might overlook. He will make known to me His will through the Comforter and be with me as I face the challenges of growing older every day. I have reason to be apprehensive but when I am in the right relationship with God I need not fear. I will do my part: laugh, love and learn something new every day.
Dear Heavenly Father, may I ever seek to know your will for me trusting You will provide for me. Amen.
CHAPTER 3
Freedom
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"If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
John 8:32
My daughter visited us at the beach for a few days without her family. When she was leaving she said, "You know, Mom, you have the best of all worlds! You have congenial people living around you that you may visit when you want, yet you have the privacy of your home when you want. You and Vince eat meals in a restaurant or cook at home – and go to a movie when you like. My goodness, such freedom!"
I never thought of being older in years and being 'free' in the same context but she is right. During this time I am grateful to get to write my own script for living each day which is a delicious type of freedom.
Another type of freedom, a more lasting one, is what John records. It comes when I gratefully recognize the number of ways the Lord has intervened in my daily life creating in me a feeling of wonder, certainty, gratitude, and freedom from depression, disappointment and disenchantment. It allows me to walk securely and 'free' each of my days no matter how few or many, sure in the awesome knowledge that as a follower of Jesus Christ my life is in the finest hands.
I know I will not live forever – nor do I want to. But, I don't want to waste my time lamenting the things I cannot do or worrying about the things of tomorrow. While I am here I want the type of joy, freedom, and knowing the truth that being a disciple of Christ brings. And, if I choose, I'll eat my dessert first tonight.
May I continue learning Your word, most gracious and loving Father, as I journey through my elderly years. I thank You for this day which you have made. May I rejoice and be glad in it. Amen.
CHAPTER 4
I am known
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"For thou didst form my inward parts, thou didst knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise thee, for thou art fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are thy works! Thou knowest me quite well: my frame is not hid from thee."
Psalm 139:13-14
I gratefully accept that the Lord created me for a purpose – He knew what I would look like, what my abilities are, what my personality would be like. I believe and am awed by the wonder that I was gifted (or made) for the special purpose the Lord has in mind for my life. In my advanced years, I struggle sometimes to know how to carry out those special purposes, although I do not doubt that they are there. I do think that I have not used His gifts to the fullest extent nor always followed His ways and when I worry about these things I take comfort in the fact that this is why Jesus came into this world in the form of a man: to intercede for me.
For all the ups and the downs of my life I thank Him for His loving wisdom in allowing the things that have influenced me, that have allowed me to be open, to respond to His guidance. If things had been different I would not be the person I am.
Accepting that I am "wonderfully made" means knowing that the Lord is not the least bit dissatisfied with my inborn talents, intelligence, appearance, personality. He has plans to use these things to further His kingdom on earth. Therefore, I am one of a kind, an original — uniquely designed.
Dear Lord, I am in awe of You as Maker of the Universe and of mankind. You chose me for one of your missions. I kneel in worship before such a loving power. Amen.
CHAPTER 5
Overwhelmed
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"Come to me, all you that are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11: 28 – 30
There are times when I desperately seek help. Times when the 'what ifs' and the 'and thens' overwhelm me: the terror of facing the threat of a life threating illness, chemotherapy treatments, finding I may have some pending financial disaster (paying for a root canal or filling an expensive medical prescription), the death of a spouse or friend, or some major life decisions (moving to a retirement facility or nursing facility). It could be an accumulation of smaller things: my washing machine is leaking; the toilet keeps running; I've lost my helper's phone (or cell) number; I can't find one of my hearing aids and I don't have any new batteries. The stress brought on by these and other life situations cannot be solved by taking a nap. And when friends quote the old, much used phrase, "God never gives you more than you can handle," I wonder.
I wonder if facing such condition is not a God-time prompt, a reminder of the peace and comfort such a contact with Him can bring. He is always there watching as I experience stress trials, even personal conflicts. I cannot believe my experiencing stress is about testing or punishing me, rather, it's about using this opportunity to remind me of His promises, strengthening my faith. He promises to help me when I face difficulties and to share my burden. This does not mean He will hand me answers or make my anxiety disappear. Rather, He will show me the tools I need to handle my "impossible" situations. Exercising my faith, I can rest in the knowledge that Jesus and my family of faith can help me when I face my struggles.
Lord, thank You that Your place of rest has always been with us. Thank you for showing me the tools I need to handle my struggles when I confess them. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
CHAPTER 6
Broken heart
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"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."
Psalm 34: 17 – 20
I have experienced times of the deep valley of sadness, but also times of mountain top joy. When I feel my heart is breaking – the death of a friend (human or animal), death of a spouse, a mandatory change of lifestyle – I look to prayer and scripture as well as friends for help. It's comforting to know that the Lord is close by as I navigate through the grieving process.
Through prayer I will make known to the Lord my anxious, troubled heart and ask for His guidance. I can only do this if I am willing to commit to listening for and willing to follow the leadership of the Holy Spirit. I am told that "when the righteous cry out, the Lord listens; he delivers them from all their troubles."
God, remind me in my suffering that Your love endures. Guide me now into a life of greater faith and service. Amen.
CHAPTER 7
Lonely
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"If any off you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, without doubting, for one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind."
James 1:2-5
It's a real challenge for me not to feel left behind when the loneliness blues descend. I know that my family and others care for me, but they have lifestyles that can't include me always. I cannot expect them to always be at my beck and call, so I need advice on how to handle this situation before it gets to the pity-party stage. James says God has a 'bountiful supply' of wisdom for all who openly ask for and expect an answer. No one ever promised me a life without its challenges, difficulties or temptations! Rather, I am granted times to lean on the Lord and learn the wisdom he teaches. In verse 8 James also warns me, "If you don't ask with faith, don't expect the Lord to give you any solid answer."
Dear Lord, thank You for the opportunity to take my hurts and questions to You and to hear Your wisdom. May I always be open for Your answers. Amen.
CHAPTER 8
All Things
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"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
Romans 8: 28 – 29
I can't believe God let my nervous system start mis-firing and now I have to live with an essential tremor, or allowed Alzheimer's to take my mother away from her adoring family so I had to deal with all sorts of unexpected and unwanted changes. However, I am humbly grateful that he let me watch my children mature to adulthood with families of their own so now I can enjoy them as adults and that I found a congenial retirement village in which to live.
In Romans I am told that all things – good, bad and horrible – go into making me the person I am. That when I try, no matter my circumstances, to live in harmony with God's own will, I will be fitting into His plan for me. By faith I am told I am accepted just as I am – warts and all. I am what I am and what I am is wonderful in his sight!
O God, Creator of all, thank You for making me a part of Your magnificent plan. Teach me to wait patiently and confidently trusting you will show me my path. Amen
CHAPTER 9
Questions
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"Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; For I shall praise Him, My salvation and my God."
Psalm 42
Sometimes I get blue, feel unimportant. I used-to-be hostess at parties, deliver meals-on-wheels, help in the soup kitchen, run and play with my children, enjoy the companionship of singing in the choir – carols or Christian marching tunes. Surely there is still something at which I can succeed. Now my energy level is low, my voice quakes, and I wonder of what use I am to anyone, including the Lord. Then I read Psalm 42 and realize that when I persevere in doing the will of God, I will show His power in a person who perseveres, whatever the age. That's where I can now succeed.
I'm sure that there will be more times when I feel sad and inconsequential; when I ask, "Why??" I know, too, that the Lord plans to give me more character-building situations. He will fine-tune my circumstances so that my character will finally succeed – that's His will.
Heavenly Father, I turn to You in prayer when I feel frustrated and unimportant; seeking, again, Your will for me. May I never stop hoping for Your abundant mercy or continuing to look to You for guidance. Amen.
CHAPTER 10
Fear
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"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"
Palm 27
It's the negative view of thinking that get me down. I fear getting weaker, being referred to as "tottering," "fragile," "ancient," or depending on others to do things for me. I am terrified of invasive medical tests or the thought of a drawn out illness or that my thinking becomes fossilized. When I focus on bad things that could happen, it paralyzes me from opening up to alternative possibilities. Then is when I turn to Psalm 27 and am reassured, again, that the Lord is with me as I seek a closer relationship with him.
Asking for help, seeking instructions on solving my problems, is the first phase. Waiting patiently for Him to answer is the harder second step. He will answer. By trusting, I gain more self-understanding and learn the different ways God saves me from difficult situations.
Thank you, God, that you have given me the gift of long life and a mission to fulfill. Help me to give up my negative thoughts of aging and to know that Your grace is all I need. Amen.
CHAPTER 11
What Purpose?
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"Don't you know your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not on your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
A few days ago someone called and asked if I would talk to her mother about how I was managing my essential tremor. I was glad to pass along tips on living with shaking hands and voice. Several days later a friend called to ask what my secret was when dealing with lupus. We had lunch and chatted for a couple of hours. Then it dawned on me – I had had my prayers answered!
I had prayed asking why I'd been granted long life when I had such a disintegrating body. The answer came in opportunities to help others who had asked for the Lord's help with their problems. These acts of service were a way I can to be used to let God's love shine.
Holy Spirit, may Your light in me continue to shine as I travel through this phase of my journey. Amen.
CHAPTER 12
Anger
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"If we live by the Sprit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit."
Galatians 5:25
When I find myself fuming, incensed, furious, or angry at something I think someone did or at my aging body, I am worn out. It takes a lot of energy and time to carry on a big huff or resentment! I have to keep reminding myself – over and over – about each of the hurts, rehearsing/nursing again and again all the reason I have to justify such feelings or actions. This takes a lot of time; time taken away from enjoying my more pleasurable pursuits.
Paul, in his letter to the Galatians, reminds me that there is another way. When I ask for and listen to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, who was sent by Christ especially for me, I'll be able to let go all these negative feelings. With tutoring, I can enjoy the fruits of the Spirit and follow the plan laid out for me.
Heavenly Father, help me never to forget to trust my whole life to the guidance and influence of the Spirit. Amen.
CHAPTER 13
Be Still
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"(Jesus) awake and rebuked the wind and he said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" and the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?""
Mark 4:39-40
I took my credit card out of my wallet to make an online purchase and forgot to return it, so I had no way to pay for the department store purchase a few hours later. I can't find one of the six pairs of "reading" glasses to read the newspaper. I forgot to get new batteries for my hearing aid. I am frustrated at my lack of recalling words for my cross word puzzle. My grandson has not returned my call of two days ago. One of my pill cylinders spilled all over the bathroom floor – how will I find them without my glasses?
When my thoughts are whirling around and dark clouds of frustration or dissatisfaction begin to swamp me, I struggle to take a deep breath and remember Mark 4. Jesus calms the waters then asks the disciples about their commitment to faith. Why am I fretting? I am in kept alive of my Savior so all I need to do is take a deep breath, ask for help and be still, believing the Holy Spirit will give the answer in some way.
Majestic God, calm the storms that rage in my life and let me experience Your peace. Amen.
