How to Stuff-Up You & Your Life

Based on the presumption you are determined to continue being unhappy and miserable, let's begin with some questions that I frequently get asked. You will then see that my answers to these questions will make it easier for you to justify to yourself and to others, why you can't do any better than you might be doing, right now.

Question 1: Why shouldn't I blame other people for doing what they did to me, or for what they still do, to make me feel unhappy and or angry?

Answer: It's your right to blame others, most other people do! Let's face it, blaming other people is easier because at least this way, you can avoid making the changes you might need to make, or deny any responsibilities that you might need to own.

Yep I agree, it's much easier to blame everyone else for everything.

Question 2: What can I do to ensure I feel depressed all the time?

Answer: This is easy to do. Start by making a list of all the things you don't like about yourself and your life. Then each night, before going to bed, read your list over and over, making sure you dwell on, and visualise each and every point. Then as soon as you get up in the morning, start reading your list again. I call these Red thoughts and red thoughts are the ones you need to think, because they induce negative feelings such as hopelessness, anger, hurt, frustration, jealousy and envy etc.

Here are some common red thoughts to inspire you.

I hate my life! (A great one to start with)

I'm ugly! (This one works for everyone)

I'm fat! (A great one for lots of us)

I hate my job! (Another good one)

I hate my car! (This one helps you to feel inferior)

I hate where I live! (Great)

I never have enough money! (The best one to make you feel inferior)

Nothing ever goes right for me! (This one works every time)

I'm Useless! (Fantastic)

No-one likes me! (Excellent)

I always get sick! (This one will ensure you do get sick)

I'm always tired! (This is a very important one to include)

I'll never find someone to be happy with! (Fantastic)

I'm dumb! (Perfect)

Everyone picks on me! (It doesn't matter if this one isn't true it's still worth saying)

Now, you might be saying most of these to yourself already, so examine your list and add more as they come to you.

Repeat them to yourself at least three thousand times a day and remember, the more effort you put into this, the better your results will be.

Warning! Eliminate as many Green thoughts as you can. Green thoughts are easy to detect, because they are the positive ones and they might make you feel good and we wouldn't want that now, would we?

Question 3: What's the best way to feel anxious?

Answer: The answer to this question is the same as question 2. Make a Red thought list of all the things you have to worry about, and make sure they all start with "What If?" Let me give you some good examples.

What If no-one likes me? (A perfect one to start with)

What If I fail? (An oldie but a goodie)

What If I get sick again? (An important one)

What If I get it wrong? (You can always count on this one)

What If I never find someone to love? (Fantastic)

What If I can't get it right? (This one works every time)

What If I never have enough money? (Perfect)

What If I don't look good enough? (This one is vital)

What If I can't find a good job? (Fabulous)

What If I don't know what to say? (Brilliant)

What If they think I'm stupid? (Perfect)

What If they laugh at me? (Works every time)

What If they think I'm fat? (Great)

What If I do and What If I don't? (Make sure all of your sentences start with either one of these)

What If that happens? (Perfect and again, always use this one at the start of sentences)

What If that doesn't happen? (Make sure you remember to use this one too)

May I suggest that for optimum results, you combine your Red lists as this will definitely ensure you get to feel depressed and anxious at the same time! How good will that be?

Remember, make sure you weed out those annoying little Green thoughts, because if you were to start saying;

"So What?" to the "What Ifs?" you might inadvertently eliminate some Red thoughts and we wouldn't want that, would we?

Question 4: I'm okay at times, so I don't need to make any changes do I?

Answer: You're right! As long as you are okay at times, that will have to do. Effort and commitment is required to improve you and your life and so it is easier to pretend you're okay even if you're not, right?

Question 5: I'm sick and tired of hearing people go on and on about positive thinking, what's the big deal about it anyway?

Answer: Let's face it, being happy isn't for everyone, so why make an effort to think more positive thoughts? Billions of people are miserable, unhealthy and anxious, so at least you are not on your own. That's good isn't it?

Questions 6: It's not my fault that I'm unhappy, so why should I keep trying?

Answer: You're right; you shouldn't have to keep trying. This is your life and you need to do whatever is easier for you. You already know how to be unhappy, so why should you choose to learn something new?

This is who you are and this is how it has to be, right?

Question 7: Why should I have to change?

Answer: If change was taught at school we might all know how to do it, but it's not, so you can't be blamed for not knowing, or being prepared to give it a go. Besides, you mightn't even like yourself, or know what to do with yourself if you were to change, right?

Question 8: I'm tired of trying to improve my life, because nothing ever goes right for me. Why should I bother?

Answer: If everything always goes wrong for you, just give up as it's a whole lot easier than choosing to do things differently, right?

Question 9: "Why won't people believe me when I tell them that I don't have enough time, to devote to myself?"

Answer: Of course you don't have enough time for yourself! You're probably too busy doing everything for everyone else to make time for you, and you might even be accused of being selfish, if you were to put your happiness before others. Just keep telling yourself, "I really will do it when I have more time!" or my favourite and the one I hear the most, "I'm gunna do it one day, I just need more time!" That will make you feel heaps better, right?

Question 10: What would I talk about if I stopped judging and complaining about my life to other people?

Answer: Let's face it; there'd be a whole lot of silence in the room if we didn't complain about everything to everyone. What would we all talk about? At least this way, most of us have lots of things in common, because talking about how hard life is and how stupid other people are, makes us feel much better. That's good isn't it?

Question 11: How else could I feel like I am better than other people, if I didn't judge and condemn them for what they do and don't do?

Answer: Of course it's important to have an opinion and to judge people—doing this helps many of us to feel like we are better than other people and when we all agree that someone is stupid or pathetic, we all get to feel good together. We feel good, because what we are really saying to each other is: "We are much better than them, because we wouldn't do that, would we?" How good is that?

Question 12: How will I cope if I don't live in my own Pretend World, pretending I don't intuitively know what I am pretending not to know?

Answer: The Pretend World is a very important world for most people and I agree, pretending we don't know things can be very handy at times and when we all pretend together, no one needs to confront whoever or whatever the situation really is, that's better isn't it?

Let me give you an example of The Pretend World.

Jane is a girl at work and none of us like Jane because she is lazy and inefficient in her work. Unfortunately for us, our boss is Jane's sister and she protects Jane by never asking her to do any of the boring or difficult work. We in turn, all pretend not to notice how incapable and protected Jane really is, and we also pretend that we don't know that both Jane and our boss know that she is not contributing fairly to our team.

This way, Jane and her sister get to pretend to us that they don't know we all know about her and Jane and because we all pretend together, everyone's safe. Safe from confronting the situation, and safe from what might happen, if we did.

So if this is happening with someone or something in your life, you can keep pretending to yourself that it's not really happening and you will be safe from having to do anything to change it. That's better, isn't it?

I hope after reading my chapter on how to Stuff-Up You and your Life, you can continue to feel more justified living the way that you do. I mean, you now have ample excuses, "oops" I mean reasons to deny and avoid the chance to create a full and happy life by making the changes needed to ensure this happens.

The moral of the story is:

"You can go on hitting your head against a brick wall if that's what you choose to do, because that brick wall isn't going anywhere and unless you start thinking and doing things differently, neither are you!"

How to Stuff Up the kids and their life too

This chapter contains vital tips on how you can Stuff Up your kids and their futures too.

Your children model themselves after you, so how you see and feel about yourself, sets the scene for them. But don't worry, because there are billions of other parents around the world who are just as unhappy and living dysfunctional lives too. So why should you, be any different to them?

Question 1: Does yelling and screaming at your kids help?

Answer: Seriously, how else can you get them to do what you tell them to do? And even if yelling and screaming isn't working, at least you feel better for it, don't you?

Another great benefit is that it teaches your kids to yell and scream back at you. Then when they do this, you will be able to yell even louder at them, for daring to yell at you.

After all, why break with family tradition, because your parents probably yelled and screamed at you and it hasn't done you any harm, has it? And guess what else? Your kids will probably keep the family tradition going by yelling and screaming at their kids. How good will that be?

Question 2: Why set boundaries, no-one else does?

Answer: Yes I agree, there's no point setting boundaries, not unless you're prepared to stick to them! Without limits or boundaries, your kids will quickly learn how to blame everyone else for their behaviour and lack of achievement. This way, they don't have to worry about taking any responsibility, for the consequences their actions bring and because you love them so much, you can continually make excuses for them. All good parents stick up for their kids by making excuses for them, don't they?

Question 3: Shouldn't all parents protect their children from the outside world?

Answer: The benefits in over-protecting your kids are endless, (well for you that is) and they include:

1: You get to be the most important person in their life and how good is that?

2: You get to protect them from having to learn things the hard way, that's good isn't it?

3: They will depend on you for everything and what parent doesn't want that?

4: Even when they are older, they will still need and depend on you and again, what parent wouldn't want that?

5: And you can wear a special badge of honour saying: "I am the best parent in the world because I love and protect my children from everything!" How fantastic, yes?

Question 4: Instead of over-protecting my kids, shouldn't I toughen them up by pointing out their weaknesses to them?

Answer: Definitely, this works a treat. What child doesn't like their parents embarrassing them or judging them for things that they either can't help or avoid?

And what child doesn't grow up and thank their parents for supposedly toughening them up, by making them feel inferior and stupid when they were a child, right?

Question 5: Why shouldn't I give my children what they want, when they want it?

Answer: Absolutely, give your children everything they want because this will confirm how much you love them and also, you get to brag to other people about how much you give to your children. By not teaching your children that they need to-give-to-get, you avoid being thought of as mean, and we wouldn't want that now, would we?

Question 6: What are the benefits of giving my children as much freedom as they like, when it comes to playing video games, watching television and talking on Facebook and other social media?

Answer: The benefits are endless and they include:

1: It ensures the children aren't exposed to too much sunlight and vitamin D by having to play outside, that's good isn't it?

2: As the parent, you get to be the good guy for letting them do what they want and when their friends complain about how bad their parents are for putting restrictions on them, your kids can brag about how awesome you are for letting them do as they like, how good?

3: Facebook teaches your children how to talk to others without having to see or face them. It also gives them the courage to say whatever they like to someone, no matter how that's likely to make the other person feel, that's good isn't it?

4: Video games sharpen your children's reflexes for when they might need to kill someone, or fight in a war. Video games and television also allow them to live in a false reality of a world that doesn't exist, a world where they can be anyone they want to be without having to step outside their front door, how good will that be for them?

5: Number five is probably the best and the most important benefit of all—to you the parent, that is! Video games, social media and television are the cheapest and the best baby sitters of all time and if you plan it well, they will keep your kids occupied and out of your hair day after day. Then if you're really lucky, you will only have to see your kids at meal times, unless of course, you get them to eat their meals in front of the TV, how easy will this be for you?

Question 7: There's nothing wrong with blaming the other parent for how un-appreciative, badly behaved and disrespectful our child or children are, is there?

Answer: Blaming anyone and everyone for your child's short-comings is very important. This approach allows you to look like the good parent. It also teaches your child a vital life lesson, that he or she can also blame other people for everything too. This is very important in today's world as the emphasis has changed from being praised for having the courage to own up to one's mistakes or actions, to being congratulated for getting away with it, how good has this been for us all?

Question 8: What are the benefits to parents for blaming our children's teachers for their lack of social skills and academic abilities?

Answer: Again, blaming others seems to be an important strategy for people of all ages today, so why shouldn't you and your children reap the benefits too? By not accepting responsibility for your child's lack of social and academic abilities, you can continue to live in the Pretend World, hoping no-one else notices what you are really doing, and what parent doesn't want that?

Question 9: Why shouldn't I save myself from all the stress that comes from trying to get my kids to eat healthy foods?

Answer: I agree, it's all too stressful and letting your children eat what they want, teaches them how to get other things they want too. It also saves you a whole lot of time and effort having to shop, cook and then having to try to get them to eat healthily.