Here is a diary of one woman's journey from job loss in tough economic times to a heart that knows she has nothing to worry about because her success is in her hands. If she says she has golden hands then she does. Within three days of being notified of the job loss she quickly moved from anxiety to total confidence. She found that success was as easy as looking inside of herself and decided to start writing it down in the form of this book. The self-realization was so gratifying and pleasurable that she wanted to share the experience in hopes of helping others find their way to success or simply to enjoy her story. Written in a very conversational style this book is easy to read and chock full of believable ways to change up your life in a very positive, self affirming way. This is a fun, upbeat book which makes moving yourself on the road to success seem very do-able. Who wouldn't want to find a way to be and feel victorious on their own terms (of success)? Shelley Howe believes in herself as she believes in you. She takes you on a tour of her life for three months while she moves from unexpectedly unemployed to self employed and loves every minute of it. She makes the expression of one door closing and another bigger more beautiful opening a reality and shows you the way. Go for the gusto and get it! It is yours for the taking and Shelley both shares her story of how she got it and gives you some tools so that you can get it too. Enjoy!
Success was My Only Option
My Diary to SuccessBy Shelley HoweAuthorHouse
Copyright © 2009 Shelley Howe, M.S., R.D.
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4490-3713-0Contents
1. What is Success?....................................................12. The Awakening.......................................................33. A Little Background.................................................54. Beginning the Process...............................................75. Dreaming Realities..................................................96. Imagery.............................................................117. The Plan............................................................138. Feeling Good........................................................159. Perspective.........................................................1710. Redirecting Thoughts................................................1911. Why Not Dream Big...................................................2112. New Beginnings......................................................2313. Going For It........................................................2514. Be Fearless.........................................................2715. Wisdom..............................................................3016. Confidence..........................................................3217. Gratitude...........................................................3518. Life Plans..........................................................3719. Inspiration.........................................................3920. Life is Short - Enjoy it Now!.......................................4221. Procrastination.....................................................4522. The Future..........................................................4823. Working.............................................................5124. Strength............................................................5425. Appreciation........................................................5626. Life Coaching.......................................................5927. Motivation..........................................................6128. The Time is Now.....................................................6329. Love................................................................6530. Making This Happen..................................................6731. Take Risks..........................................................6932. Struggles...........................................................7133. Attitude............................................................7334. Effort..............................................................7435. Expressions.........................................................7636. The Book............................................................7937. Career Plans........................................................8138. Setting Your Course.................................................8339. Achievements........................................................8540. Hope................................................................8741. Exhilaration........................................................8942. The President of the United States..................................9043. Mortality...........................................................9244. Life Matters........................................................9445. Resilience..........................................................9646. Moving Forward......................................................9847. Friends.............................................................10148. Giving..............................................................10349. Words of Experience.................................................10550. Finances, Clutter, Procrastination and Lateness.....................10851. Role Models.........................................................11152. It's All Good.......................................................11453. Networking..........................................................11754. Timing..............................................................11955. Happiness...........................................................12356. Evolution...........................................................12557. Quotations..........................................................12858. Positive Steps......................................................13159. Marketing Yourself..................................................13560. Luck................................................................13761. Results.............................................................14162. Time Management.....................................................14363. Baby Steps..........................................................14664. Being Whole.........................................................14965. Road to Change......................................................15166. Serendipity.........................................................15667. Taking Control of Your Life.........................................159
Chapter One
What is Success? * * *
A Wikipedia definition is: the achievement of something planned or attempted, impressive achievement, especially the attainment of fame, wealth or power, something that turns out well, as planned or intended, somebody successful, somebody who is wealthy, famous, or powerful because of a record of achievement.
Are you a success in your own eyes? Success is personal. We do not get do-over's in life. Wouldn't it be great to feel the empowerment of success according to you? You build on your successes in life to gain confidence and self esteem. It starts on the first day of your life and continues from there. Your parents see you on day one and make all of those pleasant smiles and noises at you and you feel good inside. That is the beginning. A few weeks later you roll over and your parents begin to applaud you. Sitting up is earth shattering. The video cameras are in full bloom for your first steps. Next comes words, then sentences and then the fun begins.
How your life journey culminates is a combination of so many factors. As a child there are so many things you cannot control, the rest of the journey from this day forward is in your hands. What do you want?
What kinds of successes are meaningful to you? Only you can design the plan for your future achievements. I started this book one day in November 2008 when life presented me with some choices.
On a Monday in late November I was told that I would not be needed at my job January first. I am the breadwinner and the insurance holder for me, my husband and my two sons both in college. I was blindsided by my supervisor's news. I had a strange reaction to that news. There was no time to feel sad, mad or freaked out as I had relatively large expenses and little time to figure out where the money was going to come from. I knew one thing and that was that even though this was occurring in difficult economic times, I had to thrive for myself, my husband and my children. Oh yes.... Fear crept in occasionally especially in the first couple of days. But on the third day I "got it": Success is my only option. I have been feeling great since that discovery.
I had always been a groupie for certain self-help people and philosophies: Oprah, Dr. Phil, Suzie Orman and the power of thinking positively. My life had all of the ups and downs of family and working life. I already knew that optimism carried me through. Fortunately for me it is the way that I have thought. When times are especially difficult I try to focus my energy into positive energy. But that is the point ... I can focus my energy into productive energy and my entire mood and belief system is fortified, and SO CAN YOU!
Chapter Two
The Awakening * * *
I was mulling over the fact that my life was about to take a turn due to my layoff from work in the worst economic times that I have lived through. I knew that being angry, depressed or frightened was not going to be productive. I don't feel good when I'm anxious. I was determined to feel good in spite of what life just dealt me. I was given a little over one month to figure out what I was going to do to replace the income I would be losing by being out of a job, not to mention the health benefits, etc. It took me three days and I had the answer. Among other ventures, I would write a book. All were going to be successful. They had to be. Failure was not an option.
I must admit that yesterday I spent about an hour getting anxious. Suddenly I remembered that I did not have to feel that way. I could control my own mental energy and mindset. We will discuss this later in the book. I then got to an emotionally better place. I felt confident. I surprised myself at how easily that happened in the midst of what could have been construed as a crisis. So now I want to share this opportunity with you.
I have always known I am an optimist. I have had all of the bumps in the road that most people experience. I choose to experience them with the belief that things will get better. It is all about the mindset and how to control it. Many times it is done in a subconscious, habitual way. That may sound simplistic. It has also been my experience that others are skeptical about the power of positive thinking. There is another way of thinking that leads some people to not finding that light at the end of the tunnel. They fall into emotional or physical turmoil. Sometimes this is a temporary feeling and other times it becomes their experience.
I have not always understood why I am fortunate enough to think more positively. People are always telling me that I am so lucky in the way that I react to stressful situations. They tell me that I am the most positive person they ever met. One even told me that I should be a motivational speaker. I will speak through this book.
I find out what good can come out of what others perceive as not so good situations. We each have something to "bring to the table". If this tool that I bring is helpful to your well being then grab it. Add some pleasure to the time you have here on earth. I meet many others who think the way I do. They have a happier inside outside appearance than some others. Sometimes I will even speak to them about this mindset we share and how much we enjoy sharing the gift of experiencing life this way with others.
Grab this life saving belief that your mind can be open to joy. Even in the worst of times you can find your way to joy. Life becomes a more pleasant experience.
Chapter Three
A Little Background * * *
My mom, who is 86, lives her life not feeling the negative energies of life. Worry and anxiety are not part of her being. She is loving and bright and has had a way of enjoying her life in spite of the trials and tribulations that life brings. I know that her role model was to live life calmly without confrontation. My dad, who is also alive, at almost 86, does not have that gift although he has many others. So often I have watched him suffer with the pain of anxiety and despair. One of his gifts is his will to live a full life and his love of family, which is also priceless. Maybe I will write about that in my next book. There is much I learned from him as well. Right there in my house growing up I saw two very distinctly different ways of looking at life. My dad was a successful businessman with a good marriage and three daughters that he loves and enjoys. It was in hard times I became very aware of the very different ways my parents experienced the same situation. My dad would suffer through it and survive. My mom would not suffer and would carry on with her life. I do not know if I consciously grasped her style or if I came by it naturally. I only know that it has made my life easier.
How would you like to make your life easier? I bet you would. Your ability to control your mood and your destiny through your thought process is everything you need to succeed. It does not cost anything. Where else can you obtain such a gift at no financial cost?
Not only can you feel more hopeful in difficult times but you can actually achieve success in health and wealth thinking yourself to it. I am not original in my thinking. You may have heard some of this on TV or in self help books. There are many who have successfully put their thoughts on this subject into a book or a seminar. Perhaps they did not reach you and I can. All I know is that it works.
When I was young I was inspired by motivational speakers. I marveled at those who believed that they could do anything and be anything in life. I was in awe and absorbed and felt the power of their words. There are many who I could credit my way of thinking to but I am never sure which came first.... The inspirational way of thinking I was reading about or listening to, or the fact that I agreed with their words and said to myself "yes, I have always thought that way too".
So many have inspired me. It started long ago with J.F.K., then Martin Luther King, even Anthony Robbins. Then all of the amazing people that Oprah would have on her show that had so much to offer us from their life experiences. Oprah herself and Suzie Orman and her handle on financial intelligence, sports great Martina Navritalova and now President Barack Obama all inspired me. We do not all have to agree on politics to be inspired by a man who has the courage to challenge a country to hear and listen to him in spite of the color of his skin, against all odds, and win a Presidential election. There are so many good role models out there who "get it". They are out there living the dream.
Yesterday a friend emailed me a video clip from "You Tube" in which a young man was giving an inspirational speech to an audience of adolescents about life. His zest for life and all that it could be was so evident. Life was precious to him and a gift in spite of the fact that he was born with no arms or legs. The things he can do with his body are unbelievable. He was playing golf and the ball sailed right into the hole. What can you take away from that? A lot.
Chapter Four
Beginning the Process * * *
Take from these examples as they would want you to gain strength from their experience. It is not something you want to keep to yourself. It is too good not to share. Turn what might be perceived as defeat into triumph. This enables you to move forward with less effort. It is an empowering feeling to know that you can spend time thinking this way and direct your mind this way. It will require attention to retrain yourself if you haven't been thinking this way. With practice it becomes second nature. After a while, you will not even know that you are doing it. It is easy once you pick up some of the tricks of the trade which I discuss in the next paragraph.
Here are some of the tools I have acquired along the way. When you are feeling stressed, depressed or sorry for yourself, it is time to write out your "grateful list". I write in mine as often as I remember. You could do it at the same time of day to make a habit of it. It is a start. You will be amazed at how many things you will put on your list. Reading the list over can add positive energy to your world. You could start with a short list one day and add to it each day, or periodically, depending on how much you need to focus your energy at the time. I feel grateful for ____________and _______________ and________________.
Are you happy with where you are? Do you like what you are doing? Are you living the life that you want to beliving? If you are not, what do you have to do to get there. Make a list of all of your dreams. The more you focus on and visualize your dreams and desires the more energy you will have flow into making that a reality. If you choose to focus on what you do not have then that is where your energy will flow and you will receive a life of disappointment.
Either way the process really works. Many who come before me have thought it, studied it and researched it. They call it the "Law of Attraction". It took me awhile to understand the name phrase coined for the way I choose to think about life. There are so many who understand it. It is written about and spoken about in various ways over and over.
If it is a new job you want then think about you in that new job. Imagine yourself in the new job. Write about it or post a picture of yourself doing it. This focuses the energy where it needs to go. It is positive energy and keeps you moving forward. Do not think about the fact that you do not have a job or your energy will go to that negative place. Imagine yourself getting several job offers. Why not?? You deserve it, don't you? Don't think about why you lost the last job or the negative experience you may have had on that job. Think about the new opportunities and possibilities and they will find their way to you.
This may sound strange at first. When you start to experience it over and over again you will believe in it more and more. I believe it is what takes us through life. You choose your path in so many ways. You live life and how you respond to the various experiences in your life shapes your future. How great is that? You need to focus on the things that you can control.
Chapter Five
Dreaming Realities * * *
We all go through the daily grind with its ups and downs. The key is to turn the downs into opportunities. You must be thinking ... enough of this self help nonsense. But don't go there. Instead, stay with me and clear the path to the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. You will find a way to touch, feel, and embrace the light. Tune into your mental energy. Think and visualize your greatest wishes. Put up pictures of the items you dream of having. Write the words down of the items you wish to own. Look at them; surround yourself with what they mean to you. You will be surprised at what happens next. You have attracted those things into your life.
You have heard of listening to relaxing music or words when you are stressed. This is just taking it to the next level. Believe that you can will your self to create a better life.
If you desire to be a powerful, wealthy, healthy good person then if financial success is your priority then you are free to think in those ways. You can put timelines into your thoughts to make it more definite. The timeline may not come to pass in exactly the number of days, months or years you wish; it is likely to come close to your timeline. That is how much you determine your future.
I had a house on the market to sell in these difficult economic times. I had not put enough of the right mental focus to obtain an offer on the house. I was getting impatient so I focused on having to sell that house soon as keeping it was costly. I decided to say to my broker "I want to sell the house today." Within one day we had three offers to choose from. These types of experiences reinforce what I am saying, even to me.
I was having a discussion, about selling the house with my realtor Denise. We had gotten quite close after having worked together for many months. I was telling her about my experience of spelling out my wish to sell the house that day in such specific language. She said she did not notice the way I had said it.
She told me a related story. Her dad had given her advice when she was younger and concerned over preparing for upcoming exams. "Study as needed but always remember to think about getting an A," he said. She practiced his advice and found it helpful and inspiring. He had got it. She got it. She is a very positive person whose energy is a pleasure to share.
I shared with her a tennis story in which I thought like her dad does. I have played tennis regularly for over 30 years. As I am warming up, doing stretches or driving over to the tennis courts I often imagine myself having won the match. As I was getting ready for tennis I thought .. "I am going to play great tonight." I do not remember to mentally prepare myself every time I get ready for tennis because I also get bogged down, with thinking about other things. It is only when I summon the mental energy to prepare for tennis that it is incredibly helpful. Sports psychologists and athletes use both imagery and mental focusing to improve performance. It works and has been used for years. Some of getting it is preparing your life for the experiences ahead.
Chapter Six
Imagery * * *
Why is it that if you have an important social event coming up you suddenly develop the great strength to work on becoming extra beautiful and healthy. It is because you want to look great for the event and you are imagining yourself that way. You have already been using this method of thinking your way through your life. It has probably not been thought of in quite that way.
How many people struggle to lose weight and become fit? It has been one of the issues I have struggled the most with. Try this. Put up pictures of how you would like to look. Put up pictures of people exercising and getting healthy. Imagine yourself the way you would like to look and feel. It can help you get started on the journey to better mental and physical health. Your body and health will start to improve. You do not have to believe me just try it!
Why does this work? Is it the power of positive thinking? Is it will power? Is it mind control? Is it because you control your life? It is all of those ideas and more. Why is it that some people will buy into the power of positive thinking and some will not? Those that do can usually recall times in their lives in which they have already used this way of thinking. Now the neural synapses are going off and reminding you of your success with this thought process. It is worth revisiting and refocusing to achieve the life you want. Those who are not ready for this may take longer to get the concept or be unwilling to put their faith in it. This is not simple. If you can project your success into your thoughts and not let go then you are one step closer.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Success was My Only Optionby Shelley Howe Copyright © 2009 by Shelley Howe, M.S., R.D.. Excerpted by permission.
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