CHAPTER 1
Choices
Certainly, a thousand thoughts had entered my mind. What to do next? Simple: Get another paying job. That's the best answer possible. And to do this, it's important to be proactive and phone all of one's contact opportunities to see if there are job openings.
Contacts can be any of the following:
• Friends
• Neighbours
• Associates
• Previous employers
• Newspaper advertisements
• Internet positions
• Shop signs
Wherever there is a possibility for a paid position in your field of specialty, knock on that door, pick up the phone, or simply send or email your resume.
This can be the quickest transition into your new role after your previous position has come to an end. However, if you are like me and find that no immediate contacts have job openings, this book is meant to encourage you forward and successfully guide you to your next job.
Monday morning arrived, and I anticipated a productive day of job searching. But after several hours of searching, feelings of dejection appeared. I took the dog for a walk and then continued my job search. I looked through the newspapers and job websites and rang a few new contacts, but no job opportunities appeared.
There I was for the first time, as a dad and husband, without paid work. What a shocker.
I wondered, how long would it be before a new door opens? Can we survive as a family? Do I need to contact our bank regarding our mortgage repayments? Do I need to contact our daughters' school regarding fees? Do I need to seek government assistance?
All of these phone calls were hard to make, as they really acknowledged that I was in the desperate position of being in between jobs.
Being motivated, I needed to achieve something that Monday, so I felt the need to make a phone call to seek understanding and possibly help. I knew I was not the first man to be unemployed in Sydney, Australia and I was certain that I wouldn't be the last, yet this journey felt like one of the hardest journeys a person can go through in life.
I asked myself whom I should call first.
The most important phone call would be to the bank, to discuss our mortgage repayments. I had thought I would have a new job in two weeks, yet this hadn't happened. I felt a need to share this with someone. How would the bank respond? I had no clue.
I picked up the phone and dialled the bank's number. It was answered by an employee who received my news surprisingly well. It was as if they received phone calls like mine regularly. The employee completed the "seeking assistance" documentation while I was talking to him and then asked when I would get a new job. I simply and instantly answered, "Next week!" I was informed that the bank would consider what it could do to assist us. I said goodbye and felt encouraged that I had shared my situation.
Making a phone call like this was hard, yet from my financial experience, the earlier you inform creditors that there is a potential difficulty, the more understanding they will be.
It seemed a world away from the first time I had entered our Sydney house. Seeing the polished timber floors and feeling the ducted air conditioning, my wife and I had instantly fallen in love with it. Having negotiated the purchase price, we had visited the bank for finance approval. Three years later, my being unemployed and having the bank consider repayment options seemed oceans away from our first encounter.
Personally, I felt the bank would simply defer some loan repayments, which would release the pressure valve on our finances. I was feeling so much better now that I had made this phone call. Certainly, it was not a job, yet I felt a level of success in seeking understanding. That was a great place to start.
A week later, I was informed that a property assessor would be visiting our home to conduct a property valuation to ascertain its current market value. I felt happy (I thought) that something was happening, but a property valuation sounded quite major!
The appraiser arrived, and after I had informed him of our minor improvements, the valuation was fully in his hands. I felt speechless, realizing that my situation of being unemployed had led so quickly to the bank conducting this assessment. I really didn't understand why they were doing this, as our monthly payments were up to date.
Anyway, it appeared part of this journey had been taken out of my hands. The appraiser didn't say much, only informing me that he would pass his assessment onto bank officials, who would be in contact with me. I thanked him for his contribution.
Three weeks after my initial phone call, I received the long-awaited final phone call from my bank in relation to our home mortgage. The employee firstly confirmed my identity. Then came my question: What was the bank's decision? I decided to sit on my bed as I waited.
The employee informed me that, after the valuation and the other relevant information had been received, the decision had been made. We had been granted a four-month holiday from our mortgage payments. I thanked the employee for this information and sought clarification. "What will this four-month holiday look like?" I asked.
The reply was, "You will never need to pay for these four months."
I asked for further clarification. "Do you mean these four months in repayments will be added at the end of the loan term?" The reply came. "Ken, the bank has exempted you from ever repaying these four months of your mortgage."
Still trying to come to terms with this supernatural miracle, I needed to ask, "Are you saying that this is a free gift?"
He replied, "Ken, yes. It is a free gift."
I nearly fell off the bed with excitement. I was informed that the bank sometimes showed people compassion—that it desired to help us move forward. I thanked the employee with all of my heart and was informed that the required paperwork for Michelle and I to consent would be forwarded in the post. Wonderful!
Having had a few minutes to come to terms with this supernatural gift, I asked, "What if I get a job next week?" The employee informed me that the free gift was for four months, regardless of whether I got a job next week. Words could not express how I felt when he said this. Well, I looked heavenward and said, "God, thank you for this massive breakthrough."
I hurriedly phoned Michelle and shared this news, and we celebrated, believing that within four months, I would certainly have a new job and that this result was phenomenal in me moving forward. I felt so happy and content in the midst of being in between jobs, amazed that such a magnificent breakthrough would happen. A celebratory coffee was on my agenda.
Positive momentum is a great thing, and I desired to keep this going by the next largest expense. This next step was to contact our daughters' school. With fees of $6,000 annually, I sought a breakthrough here, as well. Maybe there could be compassion shown—deferral of fees or possibly clearance of what was owed. Who knew?
Our children had attended a local Christian school for five years, and until now, the fees had never been an issue. We had never missed paying on time, which gave us some credibility in seeking compassion and understanding.
The school's business manager was sympathetic to our situation and offered me a three-month time extension for that quarter's fee. I was thankful and sensed further breathing space into our situation. My biggest two phone calls were out of the way, and I felt relieved.
Neither of these phone calls, to the bank or the school, had been easy. Yet, in a desperate situation, I had successfully reduced our expenses, which gave me a sense of accomplishment. Clearly, the next step was to somehow bring some sort of income into our household. It was great to have temporarily reduced expenses, yet I needed some cash—and quickly.
My wife was employed on a part-time basis, which was brilliant, yet I financially needed to contribute something, as there were so many other household expenses that continued to find their way to our letterbox.
The third phone call that I had considered was seeking government assistance, which was the hardest phone call for me to make. I had been delaying this contact as long as possible because of the tough connotations attached to it. I would simply say, "I can't find a job, I need help, and you, government department, can help me some way—any way." This would be one of the most difficult and highly emotional things I have ever had to do.
Instead of calling them, I chose to look online for jobs again instead—in fact, all day for specific work positions. Yet, unfortunately, nothing new had appeared for workers with my skill base. I was disappointed.
Well, back to square one. I decided that I needed to make this phone call. I really didn't want to make the call, yet something within me said I needed to, especially after nearly four months of looking for work. When my last role had come to a conclusion, there had been no retrenchment funds, no cash bonuses, and no severance pay to help me until the next door opened. Hence, now I felt a strong desperation for some income.
The government employee I reached seemed caring, encouraging, and helpful—as if he were specifically trained to understand my plight. As expected, I was invited to come in for an interview to be considered for financial assistance. I was asked to bring along my taxation records, bank statements, driver's licence, and redundancy letter from my last employment.
I found this a very humbling experience to seek this type of support. Please help me, government department, while I am in between jobs.
It was all happening, moving forward into the unknown. I still kept looking and knocking on all job doors, even though it appeared that there was not a key demand for my specific business skills. I knew that technology continues to change, yet there had to be something out there to suit my not-for-profit sector skills.
The government employee also made a separate appointment for me to attend a Sydney employment `support' agency in three months' time. This type of agency supports individuals who are not having success finding work on their own; they would direct and support persons to possible work opportunities. I was not anticipating attending this appointment, as I believed I would certainly have a paid role before then.
Well, I was moving forward, and after this phone call, I knew and believed confidently all would work out fine.
I learned first-hand that this type of government department was there to support, financially assist, and encourage people during this temporary season of life. They were not there for the long term—just for the temporary period where there is a direct need.
What phone calls do you need to make that will relieve pressure for you?
Think about the finance company, bank, landlord, school, government assistance, and family. It's your choice, but I encourage you to be proactive, even if it is a difficult thing to do. Remember this season is only temporary and that the results of your phone calls could surprise you with some well-deserved breathing space.
CHAPTER 2
Getting Support
The first few months of being in between jobs dragged on terribly. The feelings of rejection, hurt, financial strain, uselessness, and family expectations were indescribable.
I learned that it was nearly impossible for someone who hadn't been through this temporary season to comprehend or even partially understand what it was like to be unemployed.
According to the Holmes and Rahe stress scale, losing one's job appears in the top ten of key stress levels that affect one's life. This reassured me that my feelings of desperation were natural during such a tough season.
Statistics can be pretty daunting when one looks at unemployment and underemployment figures around the world.
As of May 2014, US unemployment figures were close to 10 million, while those underemployed represent around 13 percent of the workforce. In Australia, unemployment is at 713,400 (5.8 percent of the workforce); underemployment is estimated at 25 percent.
Underemployed Defined
This is a situation in which a worker is employed, but not in the desired capacity, whether in terms of compensation, hours, or level of skill and experience. While not technically unemployed, the underemployed are often competing for available jobs (http://www.investorwords.com).
To many who experience a season in between jobs, there is a natural sense of hopelessness and grief that is indescribable, especially when there is a shortage of finances evident.
I have two friends who had also encountered retrenchment, yet one received $100,000 and the other received $200,000. Both laughed and smiled and enjoyed the holiday away from work. I wish I had the opportunity to enjoy this journey like my friends, yet for me; no finances came my way as I was on a contracted term.
If someone asked me how I was feeling, I would simply bite my tongue so that words of hurt did not exit my mouth. It was so difficult not to say exactly how I was feeling. It's only natural that one's central needs are to be wanted and needed, and when one is in between paid employment, there is a lack of being wanted and needed.
It was awkward sharing how I felt with my family or my friends, as they hadn't encountered a season like this and clearly struggled to fully understand.
These feelings were real, and words cannot describe how I was feeling. I recall how hard it was to leave my bedroom. I just simply felt rotten. It's not like I could stand tall and feel excited about my current situation—it's just that I didn't have the confidence to mix with others (some days, even my great family). I just felt safe and secure there. It was a strange experience that my laptop, Bible, television remote, mobile phone, and diary accompanied me on. I continued to check my email frequently, hoping and praying that a reply to one of my many job applications had come through. I also checked my mobile phone to see if I had missed a call.
Some days, I simply stayed in bed as a safe place, yet I quickly learned it's not a good place to stay for too long. I had never experienced anything tough as this.
It is said that man is expected (by society) to provide for his family, yet when a source of income is not coming in, natural frustration exists. What should a man feel like when he is unable to pay his bills?
Certainly, if I had possessed quality financial reserves available, I am confident my feelings and emotions would have been very different.
Fear is a big word, and it is natural to feel afraid when life's circumstances become difficult, hurtful, and painful.
According to Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, fear is to be afraid of (something or someone), to expect or worry about (something bad or unpleasant), or to be afraid and worried.
To break down the word fear specifically to the season of being unemployed, it is only natural to feel the way you do. The reality is that no income is happening, there is no regular work, and the bills keep on arriving.
Fear can be a terrible experience, especially when job doors are not opening and money is not falling from the sky to maintain the normal lifestyle of one's life.
Throughout this journey, many fears naturally entered my mind:
• Do we need to sell our house?
• Do I need to tell my in-laws?
• Do I need to tell other family members?
• What will people think of me?
• Will we get through this?
• Do we need to change our daughters' schooling?
The key thing to remember is that even though fear can be present, you can choose not to let it have precedent over your life. No fear will ever dominate me, and having faith for better days drives me forward to be a success.
F-E-A-R has two meanings: "Forget everything and run" or "Face everything and rise." The choice is yours.
—Zig Ziglar
Being out of work and the challenges that come with it can create a level of uncertainty and doubt, yet I am never going to put down my anchor in the midst of hurt and pain; it is simply silly to do so.
Nobody wants to stay in the midst of hurt and pain. We want to move forward and get out of the desert as quickly as possible to find fresh water.
There have been many people who have tried to conquer the natural deserts of life, and from my experiences, it's extremely hot, with most people needing to be well supported to get through strong, healthy, and properly hydrated.
Nobody chooses to pitch a tent in the middle of the hot desert with his or her anchor firmly placed in the ground. Everybody who enters needs to find caved shelter and has a strong desire to walk forward through the desert into the zone where lush trees and streams of water prevail.
Warning
Don't let your levels of fear overwhelm you during this desert experience.
I know what it is like when it appears everything is falling down on top of you at the same time and you just desperately want to catch a break.
Nelson Mandela said, "I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."
