QUEEN OF HER OWN HEART

Invocations for Self Renewal

Dear Reader,

This collection, Queen of Her Own Heart, has to do with making a conscious choice about how you are going to show up in the world, and who you are going to become.

When we just allow the world to happen to us, we can almost experience it as an assault or onslaught, things just coming towards us of which we have no choice or control. In some cases that is so, but in others it is not. We get to be a part of what happens, and the more we practice it, the more potential we have for truly collaborating with our lives in a conscious manner.

When we decide to be at cause for our life, our many particles and how we are made up begins to change, and with that change we see what we weren't seeing before, like opportunities or relationships that reveal themselves based on how we are vibrating.

To CHOOSE to be in love with the day is indeed a choice, and one that will change our lives from the inside out. And besides, it is so much more delicious that way.

I hope you enjoy the journey here and maybe you will discover something new about the queen of your own heart and what she wants to speak to you ...

Signed in the crystals from the crown of the queen,

Shiloh Sophia

After 1000 Broken Vows

After 1000 broken vows
we will rise again. I promise.
Surrendering to the mystery
of knowing and not knowing,
we finally understand
that we will not do everything
we say we will.
This confession
should feel like a relief.
We have transcended getting it right,
when we finally get it that we won't.
We can let ourselves off
our own meat hooks
when we finally know
integrity comes and goes.
Perfection is over-rated.
One fine day,
in the middle of the night,
our truths lined up single file
and went out for a midnight spree
and then didn't come home
and we woke up truth-less.
Then it is time to begin again.
Better that the heart
be broken 1000 times
than never open at all.
My job is to wipe the fevered brow
of our restless creative musings,
not demolish the hospitals
that house our sicknesses.
Though I do dream of revolution for breakfast.

This is my truth:
I have no idea what is going on.
I only know that we must create
and keep on creating no matter what.
Before the mending with red thread,
first, the breaking open.
Vow 1001 ...
I have been waiting for you.

~ Self–Forgiveness ~

Where is self-forgiveness needed by you, for you?

We are often our own worst captor, holding ourselves caged, even when we don't need to. We set expectations for ourselves that we wouldn't expect others to keep and yet we set ourselves up to fail, based on our invented criteria. When we release our own cages, there is freedom available. Are you interested in experiencing more freedom? Imagine the cage door opening ... creaking on the hinges and releasing. What is held inside? What did you see?

Interestingly enough, so much of living in the spaciousness of forgiveness is about choosing to allow it in, the belief that there is love available and that you can be a partaker in this love. When we move in the space of being forgiven instead of being wrong, the way we move in the world is expanded.

Let us begin with this simple clear place of inviting forgiveness. Imagine what your vow 1001 would be. What would become available to you if you released yourself? What vow? See if you can see it written in the sky, the stars, the clouds....

Festival of the Open Heart

Look, there is a festival happening;
we are gathering in the streets
to be in the space of what moves us.

Stop trying to save yourself;
choose to enter into the pleasure
and chaos of being so very alive.

I know you don't feel like it;
bones, head and heart complain
and strain against the idea of this joy.

I am talking to myself here,
as artists and poets often do;
I am also talking to you.

Would we rather stay locked up
in the story of our own making
where we are always right and safe?

I don't know about you
but I am putting on my red dress,
yes, right now, and the golden boots.

I am closing the eyes that fear being seen
and opening the eyes that LOVE to be seen
while dancing in the streets of Love.

The drum that heralds the start of the festival
begins to beat – can you hear it?
Match your heart to that pace!

There are many things that would take us
away from what we love and dream of,
too busy to dance, sing, chant, pray and play.

I am not saying life isn't hard. I know it is.
I just want to choose to walk a sacred path,
instead of using all my energy in survival.

We are Divine Love on earth
and when we dance in this way
we dance with the Beloved in our arms.

To begin, we must open our arms wide enough
to let something or someone in;
let us make our way into the LOVE zone.

I will be at the festival if you want to find me.
What's that you say? Oh good. You are coming?
Because of you, this is going to be a great time!

When we are old, we won't say we regretted this.
We will say – remember the festival?
The one that changed everything?

This is, of course, the festival of the open heart.
There is a chance to join it every single day,
if we choose to take part.

I cannot think of any place I would rather be
than here with you,
moving together at the pace of beauty.

~ Living from Yes ~

How have you been withholding yourself from what you want?

Without actually meaning to, many of us have been holding ourselves back from what we really want. Whether that is from self judgment or fear, the result is we don't experience enough "Yes's" in our body and soul. We sit the dance out; we don't throw our hat into the ring; we give the seat to someone else; we just let go instead of letting ourselves have more of what would bring us delight. We let desire go dormant.

Living from the "Yes" place begins with choosing to participate, which means moving through the fear while the fear is still present. This is easier said than done; otherwise, we would have done it, right? We are afraid we will feel like a fool. Well, sometimes we will; better to embrace the fool! Will you allow less fear and more play to move through you? Just try it ...

Saying yes changes how your body, mind, spirit and relationships feel, and it helps the no's- be more clear, too. Imagine you are living into your yes. See yourself as embodied as yes. What do you see or notice about you in a full body yes?

Remember You

Remember
no one can do what you do
the way you do.
Remember that what you do
is needed and wanted.

Remember
you have a unique purpose
that has always lived within you.
This purpose will continue to call on you
until you say YES!

Remember
saying YES will call upon you
to become more than you are.
This is the bliss of life,
to be the most YOU that you can be.

Remember
the key is to keep going no matter what.
You can start and stop
as many times as you need to.

Remember
unless you do this
you may always wonder, "What If?"
To try to live a dream
changes how we dream,
even if we don't reach it.

Remember
Living a dream,
is the journey, is the process,
is the dream revealing itself.
We are not waiting for a destination,
since we can live each moment truly.
Why wouldn't we?

Remember
it will sometimes seem
as if forces are against you.
When we gather up enough speed
to break through the resistances,
we often encounter obstacles.
This is not a sign to turn back.

When we move forward in our vision
energy moves towards us at that moment.
It opens up the next action,
the next door, the next opportunity.
When we take a leap of faith,
new territory opens up
that we did not see before,
and we gain access
to information not previously available.

This is glorious news!

When we risk believing in ourselves,
we will be amazed at the support that comes.
We will recognize that doing this work
is what we were born to do.

When we remember life not lived fully
is not the life we want,
then we choose.
And we choose powerfully
not to turn back again.
We may fail. We may fall.
We may even disgrace ourselves.
But what if we didn't?
Or what if we did?

Remember to remember YOU ...
and what you are all about.
Go forward now!
And live the life you were born to live!
You belong to life
and life belongs to you.

~ Claiming Yourself ~

Have you forgotten you?

What comes up for you, when you sit with the idea that you may have forgotten parts of yourself? Isn't it odd that we think of everyone besides ourselves and sometimes wait a lifetime to go, "Hey, you know what? I have to be included here too." When we choose to make ourselves significant to the story, not only will others begin to see us that way, but our own genius will be able to make itself known. Claiming ourselves changes us (and let's the Muse emerge).

To re-member is to call back the places within you that have come apart. Remembering is a soul journey, one that causes you to go into deep inquiry if you are willing to do the work. There is some hidden sense within us that we used to be more ourselves as a child - at some other point in life, a time when our soul essence was really intact. Some say that soul is intact no matter how far you have come away from it and that when you return to it, it is as if you didn't miss a stitch! An integration begins immediately.

Imagine that you are calling these lost parts back from a vast canyon where they have been waiting. Give each part a name as they are brought home to you from a lost land, and reclaim them.

Peanut Butter for the Muse

Who is that peeking out from behind the veil?
Winking in the darkness
with the eyes you only sometimes use
She wants to know
Do you dare encounter the Muse?

A word of warning
Don't look at her with a direct gaze
She may flee from you into her own place
Leaving trails of feathers
the scent of truffles or a storm
and always the air of lady mystery

She uses your secret names to call you
as she rises to the surface of form
But where is she calling you?
To the place she dwells
You ask the address, but she refuses and sighs
Another time perhaps ... we do have work to do

Many years could go by
before that winking blinks again
When you see her blinking
into the space between spaces
Blink Blink Blink Wink Wink
Pay attention, as the time of arrival
is near this place

Will you come this time and mystery dive?
Should you be worried, you wonder
Well, yes, she quips
You could even be scared to life instead of scared to death!

Having Muse eyes creates different lives
Don't ask what will happen or how long it will take
or if you will survive this near miss
Risk everything for this
A soul is enlightened by the Muse's kiss
If you lose her trail again,
there are things you can do to woo her,
but don't tell her I told you this:
Ask her what she likes, what she really, really likes

My Muse likes to consume my fear with
a chunky peanut butter ball
on a bit of dark chocolate
I leave it for her here
on the drawing board next to a stack of blank paper
Then I listen with the other ears within

I quiver with sudden curiosity
the blue butterflies in my belly swoop in
I pick up the pen and begin
As I hear her cry out
to the starry midnight sky:
Where oh where shall I take her?

~ Inviting Curiosity ~

Where is your curiosity taking you?

When you consider a relationship with your internal genius, your wild inner self-ness, what comes up for you? Perhaps you have heard of her counter-part, the critic, or sometimes called the voice of reason. Perhaps this curiosity can take you to meet your Muse.

Consider there is something else, another way of seeing or being you have yet to really be with and explore. What if there was so much more, more to you and to life, right here, hidden within your imagination? Will you consider it? What if this kind of thinking was the way to release your critic? As they say, curiosity kills the critic (the part you no longer need).

Imagine that within you there have been many locked doors. And that today, magically, an unseen hand begins to make rounds and unlock previously locked doors that lead to different chambers.

What do you see? What wants to be revealed? See the shapes and the colors of the doors as each one opens. You may hear locks fall to the ground with a clank. You may hear the voice of your Muse, what is her message?

Queen of Her Own Heart

Every woman is the Queen of Her Own Heart.
It isn't something she does, it is who she is.
She must decide how to govern her own domain.
She seeks friends and allies that honor
who she is and who she is becoming.
She has the power to create miracles.
She does not know how
or when her needs will be met,
but she trusts the will of the Divine.

Being the Queen of one's domain
is not about being
the ruler over anyone else's life or ideas.
It isn't even about calling herself a Queen.
Queenship is about self-honor.
It is about choice.
It is about knowing her limits
and setting her boundaries.
It is about learning how to live
with what comes her way
with as much grace,
majesty and justice as she can.
And sometimes, often, yes,
she has to have her own way!

She knows she has a calling to greatness within her.
She leads her own life as a grand experiment
in happiness, in creativity, and in abundance.
She offers her gifts to others,
but not to her own detriment.
She rests as she needs to,
ruling one's own life takes energy.
She chooses to embody wholeness,
her sovereign essence,
even when she feels fragmented
by all there is to do, and be.

She holds the prayers of the world within her
because she cares what happens – with everyone –
even though she cannot reach them all.
She reaches whom she can.
She often feels like she is not pulling it all off,
and sometimes she isn't.

But she keeps reaching anyway.
She keeps opening her heart
and being in her own power.
She governs her life in gratitude.
She is the Queen of Her Own Heart
She knows that
it is good to be Queen.

~ Self Empowerment ~

Are you in charge of your own domain?

A domain may be another name for the way you approach your space in the world. Many of us have been warned not to take up too much space, to keep our voices down and always be appropriate. There comes a time when we finally choose to empower ourselves, without waiting for affirmation or agreement from anyone else. How's now?

When we begin the journey towards living into self empowerment it is at first something that peaks our interest, like, "Wow, I wonder how that would feel?" as often it is a foreign experience for us to feel that. It may even feel unnatural for most of us. We can learn self empowerment, choose it and one day move into it fully.

When you have power, it isn't power over anyone but yourself and your choices. Therefore, inhabiting your empowered self doesn't require anyone else to do it for you; it is your choice.

Imagine if you considered yourself queen of your own life. What are the first actions you would take? And is there accoutrement that needs to go along with your newly dawned queenship? Something visible or invisible to others? A crown? A scepter?

Witness

Inside of you
is radiant luminous code.
Ciphers ripe for deciphering.
This seeing is what I came here for.
Some might call me an artist,
and a poet if they favor me.
I am merely a witness
to your beauty.
Inside of you stardust is begging the seams
to cross the veil of form.
Reach through and take hold of the strand
of particle and wave.
Pull it through to this place
where we hearts can witness you.
Inside of you
there is something sacred: content.
That which belongs only to you, as you.
Sometimes you don't see it, we do.
We are all witness to it.
We have need for your gifts.
Inside of you there is a great longing to be seen
but only you can fill this longing.
We already see your radiance,
yet your longing persists.
Now you know you must see yourself
to be fully seen in the way you seek.
You are your own witness.
You are the first real witness of you.
Inside of you a great call is calling
a great wheel is turning, towards you.
That which is yours to do is at the threshold,
beckoning for you to witness with your yes.
There are many ways to say yes.
Give yourself as a love offering to your own life.

~ Seeing Yourself ~

What barrier can you remove, so that you can see yourself more clearly as you are right now?

What you are is a cosmic being made of stardust. You are incarnate on this planet at this time, for a reason – can you work with this idea? You matter to the rest of us and to the world. And most of us don't know what the reason is, but in searching for it, we begin to see ourselves.

So often we have been waiting for others to see us and affirm us. This could take a lifetime of waiting. When we choose to see ourselves first, not only does it feel so much better, but it also helps others to see us. Your choosing of you as you, is not only the best thing ever, but is often the best thing for those around you too – they might not know it at first, but it is.

Imagine that you are a part of the milky way, a constellation within that luminous beauty. Imagine that you are essential to those billions of stars shining, and that you are surrounded by others also shining, a part of something wonderful - a part of creation. See yourself shimmering there in the cosmos – as if you belong. What would be different if you 'saw yourself' as wonderful. Now come back to the you that you are now – and imagine that you have brought some stardust back with you into your life. Because, you have.